EmmJ

“The more you love, the more you suffer.”- Vincent Van Gogh

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

“He knew that I love you also means I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.” - Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated (via the-book-diaries)

[danger]

[blooming-anna-rose]

“Cant you be happy I’m happier?” She asked me, a bit frustrated. My eyes felt so heavy, my throat felt so thick I couldn’t swallow, my heart hurt to breathe. I just nodded, and made barely audible, “mhm.”

I am so tired of words that never change anything. So tired of trying to explain what I need and that I’m not getting it. So I didn’t say what I really wanted to say. I’m tired of speaking and no one hearing me.

But you can read this. I’m happy you are happier. Of course. I never wanted you to be in the misery you were in. I’m happy you are better. But i gave half of my soul, parts of me to be there for you. To understand you, to stay by your side while you hurt me, to just hope you would get better. I gave you so much, and you took it. I didn’t ask for anything in return, I just tried to be what you needed. And now that you are better I don’t have to do that anymore. But where does that leave me? It leaves me empty, wounded deeper then I thought possible, and too scared to ask for any help. Because the last time I did, you said yes and then backed out. And again. And again. But you are better. So I asked. And you didn’t follow through. You didn’t think that I needed anything. At least I didn’t need it that bad. It could wait. But I needed it so bad. When you fell through, when you chose something else over me once again, I cried for so long. People at school asked me over and over again if I was alright, I wasn’t talking, I was being off. I told them “im fine, I’m just tired” hoping they stop asking. See, I got my hopes up. I thought, “finally it will happen, finally I get to be a priority.” But you said no. And it just hollowed me out even more. So I’m tired of asking. I’m tired of speaking and not being heard. I’m tired of being here and not being seen. I’m done trying to figure out how to tell you to love me. To make me a priority. To see what I need, and to be that for me like I tried to be. I’m not mad. I’m just empty. And filled with disappointment. That’s all.”

n.c. // that’s all

[angelbabyspice]

[thepersonalquotes]

[anxietyproblem]

[poemswords]

[anxietyproblem]

I felt that

[wings84]

I felt that

[lifeinpoetry]

the way I wanted to get hit by a car when my friend died, not thinking I deserved pain, but to hurt myself in rage, so the body could howl with all of itself.

— Joy Katz, from “Tour Book of Northeastern States,” Fabulae

[poemswords]

[anxietyproblem]

[chandelyer-deactivated20241003]

“Somewhere, there is a version of me that isn’t neck- deep in her invented filth”

— Franny Choi, from “I Guess By Now I Thought I’d Be Done With Shame,” published in The Offing (via lifeinpoetry)

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” - Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird (via the-book-diaries)

[phraseepic]

On point.

[beachbum-73-deactivated20170307]

[anxietyproblem]

[books-n-quotes]

“Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared. Being brave means you are scared, really scared, badly scared, and you do the right thing anyway.”

— Neil Gaiman, Coraline (via the-book-diaries)