Just a dude

Just here to yell into the void. I'm really into linguistics and will often reblog whatever my current guilty pleasure is. Basically all posts are queued just so you know. 20 and he/him:-)

[ceruleanheaven]

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

[quixoticanarchy]

I do think it's kind of funny how john green wrote a book about tuberculosis that brought a lot of renewed attention to the subject and he's since become the darling of the tb world, speaks at tb conferences, my dad and every other tb researcher I know is absolutely smitten with him, and they'll be like "we love this guy! have you heard of him??" and I have to be like well yes, I have. for other reasons

[copperbadge]

I was innocently buying a soda and a Kit Kat bar from a snack shop recently when the cashier said, "Oh, a Kit Kat! That's what I named my cat!" and then launched into An Monologue.

Nobody was behind me in line, which seemed to be a good reason for her to treat me to a five minute retelling of the identification, rescue, and argument over initial custody of Kit Kat, who was so small they thought when they first heard him crying for help that he was a bird and not a kitten in a tree, and is now fifteen pounds of "pure, sculpted lardass".

And I didn't mind, precisely, I wasn't bored or anything, but around the time she was bringing me up to speed on Kit Kat's current status it occurred to me that this woman is a cashier in a store that primarily sells candy bars and beverages. People must buy Kit Kat bars from her multiple times a day. Does she do this every time there's nobody in line behind the purchaser? Did I just have that I Own Several Cats And Will Enjoy Your Cat Stories look about me? Was it the first time it occurred to her that she sold the brand of candy bar she named her cat after? Was she new to the job of selling Kit Kat bars?

The idea that every time she sees a Kit Kat bar she is gripped by the urge, Manchurian Candidate style, to retell the story of Kit Kat the Cat, elevates her from a friendly cashier to a deep enigma. Truly there is no knowing the mind of another.

[copperbadge]

IT GETS FUNNIER

I was in the same snack shop, which I'm in, like, once a month, recently. I only recognized her because I spent five minutes listening to this monologue in sincere wonder. But I did recognize her, so as I was buying a soda and a Milky Way bar (this time) I said, without thinking about how this would come across, "Hey, how's Kit Kat?"

She looked genuinely horrified and said, "What...how?"

"Oh fuck!" I blurted. "Sorry! You told me about him last time!"

This is still quite cryptic as responses go but she gave me a frankly frantic look of sudden recognition and said, "He's fine! You bought a Kit Kat! I was unmedicated!"

I did not inform her she is small town famous on Tumblr and instead just said, "Glad you're both doing well!" and we parted as confused and mortified friends.

Gosh she's fun. I hope she's there next time. I want to reenact the Spiderman Pointing meme with her.

[angelnumber27]

[honeysider]

[esynk]

[wizardarchetypes]

funniest convo ever with a guy who said 2 me "nobody uses journalism degrees" and i said "my mom has a bachelors in journalism" and he smiled like knowingly and said "yeah, but what does she do?" and i said "she runs a newspaper and publishes romance novels on the side." and he literally said "oh" and nothing else. like he ended the whole conversation there.

[wizardarchetypes]

i've just been informed he has a trombone degree. like the study of playing trombone. which is all well and good, i genuinely think we should all have the opportunity to chase our academic bliss but i do think the trombone studies guy should hesitate to judge the economic value of other people's degrees no

[cuunos]

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

[vintagewildlife]

Gull inspecting two fake eggs and deciding to incubate the larger one By: Thomas D. McAvoy From: Life Nature Library: Animal Behavior 1965

[abyssalcaptain]

[vaporevon]

i’m freaking out why did they add the fucked up version of the flushed emoji. I thought i was going crazy when i scrolled past this. How did a discord emoji end up in the real emojis list i thought. I took a screenshot incase everything is gone tomorrow and this is a fever dream

😳🫪 ….??????????

[vaporevon]

they added horny flushed emoji. they added bigfoot. they added cartoon sex cloud. and the trombone. you can now illustrate a sexual encounter with a clown and a bigfoot in just emojis

[vaporevon]

no one understand me

[mevil]

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Where do you see yourself in five years” is kind of an odd question for a job interview now that I think about it. Like idk. Having a job? You could give one to me right now.

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

Idk dude hopefully not in jail is that what you wanted to hear I wanna be on a cold beach in Oregon right now but capitalism demands that I work to live so do you want to buy my labor or not

[what-even-is-thiss]

In five years I will be feeding my newborn son fresh yak milk deep in the frozen Siberian tundra far away from prying eyes but for right now I’d really like to work at this radio shack

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

what do you mean i didn’t reach out i literally thought about you

[tillydouspart]

gotta say, i do understand that one person who said hotguy fanart made them question their lesbianism. i truly do.

[tillydouspart]

tears in my eyes. yeah that too, that's fair. i forgot im extremely susceptible to “forgetting my fave has a stupid name” syndrome

[rhinco]

inventing some new EVIL tone tags

/pr = pressuring you

/m = mad at you

/f = forcing you to do this at gunpoint

/nj = not joking i want to kill you for real

[fishplants]

scar is the #1 tree enthusiast

(based on gems ep.18, timestamp 15:20)

[wofstepsup]

What is this creature

[userfish]

this pride month we’re all going to be radically pro transgender. or else.

[userfish]

hey so this means radically pro ALL transgender. don’t put limitations on this. all trans people are radically accepted here.

[belltothethirdpower]

yes, even the ppl with xenogenders. yes, even those who use neopronouns. we're all in this together