I'm working on it @emo-eldritch - Tumblr Blog

pinned post yeehaw

heyooo!

I'm still trying to find a name, but my pronouns are they/she/he and while I don't usually have a preference, switching them up is always cool.

i'm a minor so please nothing gross or i will block you

i don't really use any labels because i had been questioning for so long that i gave up, so i'm just me and while there are probably labels that describe how i feel, I don't really care anymore and would prefer if anyone refrains from labeling me.

on the subject though, i'll probably tag some of my posts with labels and that doesn't mean they specifically apply to me, it just means i think that post could resonate with a particular audience. that's all about that

here I'll mostly be posting my thoughts and maybe occasionally a doodle or a poem or something, idk.

because this is my side blog, I'm not able to like/follow anyone but I don't want to say what my main is, so. sorry if that means I'm not as interactive as I'd like to be because of that

But yeah! Enjoy :)

mispelled

The vibes with him are Immaculate™. A chonky boi. Truly 11/10. Might I even say that he's >>>>

#i can just imagine archeologists in the future trying to understand this

I'm more beautiful without my glasses on. I don't mean that in a self-deprecating way, just that when I look in the mirror and I see myself without my glasses on, I feel like art.

My hair becomes a smudge of dark, instead of eyes I have shadows. Sometimes I can see my lips if I squint, but otherwise they're only a bit of pink.

I don't have any outlines when I'm not wearing my glasses. Instead the edges of my image are blurry and smudged.

I wish I could paint what I see, not just me but the world as I see it.

Sometimes I wish I could live life without glasses at all.

#deep thoughts with me #poetry #i guess?? does this count as poetry #prose #poetic prose #idk anymore #ok to rb

mxwormie

sleepy on main

cuntissimo

absolutely fatigued on main

alwayslively05

Fucking exhausted on main

lesbiansandgayssupporttheminers

Tired to the bone on main

#hashtag insomnia lol

Waiting for a bus that will never come

#deep thoughts with me #lol i hate this #sums up my life in a nutshell

The thing is, it's not like the mental illness only affects you when you're not doing anything else. No, it's there constantly, making every single fucking thing in your life so much harder.

Oh, you have an assignment due for school? Lol nope. Your room is a mess. You're on the verge on failing classes and you haven't gotten above an 80 on any test or assignment in the past three months. You take a shower once or twice a week. You haven't eaten normally in weeks. There are piles on laundry on your bed and you're too tired to move them so you either dump them on the floor or just go to sleep with them there. There's months of dust everywhere. You haven't done that thing you usually enjoy in weeks because it doesn't bring you joy like it used to. You don't slept well.

#tw cursing #mental illness #mentally unstable #mental health #mentally tired #mentally ill #idk what else to tag this

Where's home anymore

I wanna be a little bog boy. A simple swamp creature. Just a marsh being. Is that too much to ask for

#want to lay in the mud with the rain coming down #id like to grow mold #decompose in the bathtub #i don't know what im saying anymore

A friend used they/them pronouns for me today and the sheer giddiness that came over me like!! They're talking about me!!

#jdjsjsjsnaisjaisjsisnaj #they them #nonbinary #gender non conforming #hhhhhhh gender #genderqueer #genderfluid #gender #pronouns #they them pronouns #trans #lgbtq #lgbtq positivity #lgbtq community #lgbtq representation #gnc

Ahaha I literally can't with people anymore

#vent

I've been not ok for so long that when everything seems to be going alright and I'm actually feeling good for longer than a couple days at a time, I feel guilty for being ok and feel like I need to tear myself down, especially when all my friends are suddenly not doing well, I feel like I want to be broken again and how dare I be ok when everyone around me isn't

#ignore this #ok to reblog but please dont comment anything because i dont want to seem like im fishing for sympathy or anything #would probably only make it worse but ty if you see this and understand #mental health #mental illness #mentally unstable

The comfort of a new full bottle of sleeping pills. Knowing you've got enough to last a while. Hoping they'll actually do their job and you won't be pulling accidental all-nighters at least once a week, sometimes more.

Watching the moon rise, and then set. Checking the clock every hour. Eyes won't close but you're too tired to give up and try to read, or do something, anything else. At around four in the morning you think to yourself how ridiculous this is getting.

You can't stop trying because what of you succeed? Three hours of sleep is better than none. Don't give up now, one hour is better than none. Twenty minutes now, c'mon. You're too tired to give up trying to sleep anyway.

Hearing people getting up, cars starting as the earliest morning people head off to work. Watching the streetlight outside your window turn off. Watching the sun rise. Thinking about how you're going to have to get through another day like this. This feeling isn't new, but it doesn't make it any less exhausting. What are you going to do, anyway? It's not like you'd be able to sleep if you stayed home today. Might as well get stuff done.

Clutching the bottle of pills, you pray these ones will work.