zut alors!!! @cuntissimo - Tumblr Blog

would you consider yourself an intelligent and sensitive pervert?

i've been saving this in my inbox for months because i don't feel like i have the words to match this. it's a shameful breach of my humility to answer yes, yes i do consider myself an intelligent and sensitive pervert. i love how you worded that. this is like a therapist's screening question.

dogwise

PRACTICE URGE SURFING

dogwise

pekingopera

Mongolia via PallasDav

pekingopera

PallasDav

gokusclit

Why do so many women infantilize themselves as soon as they get with a man like that mess is none of my business but it’s horrifying to watch he’s just some guy and you’re here like that’s my dada with his big boy uwu credit card what the hell are you even doing like actually

rylandgraces

PROJECT HAIL MARY — 2026, dir. Phil Lord, Chris Miller

only-cat-memes

bloggingboutburgers

We're getting there little by little, sure. But it's a road.

Anyway happy international asexuality day back to work I go

cosmonautroger

kave-elott-ne-szolj-hozzam

washing machine

gyey

bowl of pho

proteidaes

Moon joy 🚀🌕

elwenyere

-- Ted Chiang, from "Why A.I. Isn't Going to Make Art"

oldshrewsburyian

I'm so glad they got Ted Chiang -- a wonderful writer of science fiction and thinker about technology, in my opinion -- to write this essay. My favorite line was this:

Generative A.I. appeals to people who think they can express themselves in a medium without actually working in that medium.

antique-symbolism

tumblr users love to say "we don't censor things here like on Twitter" and then type things like "r3ylo" and "jk r*wling"

lesbianralzarek

if you say "and then this fucking r3ylo-" that implies that "reylo" was the bad word in that sentence

tiktokers do it because they have to, we do it because it's mean ☺️

astraltrickster

Okay I know this was mostly a joke but I just feel the need to point out - this didn't start out as being mean, it started - and largely continues - as the opposite.

For a long time, tumblr had tags and no other search function. You wanted to find a post that wasn't tagged, you had to go to Google and type in your query and add "site:tumblr.com" and hope for the best.

As it is now, that method is STILL better than our native search function most of the time, but the quality of tumblr's native search function isn't really what's important here, what's relevant is how they implemented it.

See, the search bar in the upper left corner of the site - you used to type in something there, and it would take you to posts tagged with whatever you searched. Then, one day, they quietly rolled out an update that instead brought you to a search page that pulled up nearly every post that even mentioned your search term.

This...did not mesh well with the site culture.

Because, see, we had an etiquette guideline - do not post your negativity in the public tags. Why? Because people go into the public tags to find content about things they LIKE. Posting hate in a public tag was basically seen as being a raging dramamongering pissbaby troll LOOKING to start a fight over petty nonsense.

So imagine, suddenly, you log in one day, and someone's sending you anons angry about you allegedly posting hate in the tags, when you have NEVER done so. You use what you THINK is the tag search function to prove it, and - what the hell? Your UNTAGGED post about how annoyed you are with your notp...is appearing there???

So people started censoring things like that. Usually not because we all think the thing we're complaining about is profane (though sometimes it does get a giggle to think of it as such), but to keep it from showing up when people are searching for what they love and to prevent pointless drama. To avoid looking like some asshole troll going onto a fan forum specifically for The Blorbo Show and making a thread entitled "THE BLORBO SHOW SUXXX AND YOU ALL SUCK FOR LIKING IT!!"

And now it's just part of our site culture, for both peacekeeping reasons and petty glee.

The more you know.

cinqueform

On tiktok, you censor for the algorithm. On Tumblr, you censor for the users.

paxamericana

halleywars

Best sticker

goneturkdad-deactivated20191130

Freakin’ awesome. We live in anaheim so our boys got to enjoy the all-access Disneyland Daily pass. Our youngest (Tanner) wanted to be an officer. Unfortunately he was too small for the restraints on splash mountain so when the coaster sped up it flung him out and he skidded about 200 feet on the asphalt. Here’s what we’re keeping him in right now:

Disney won’t let us bury on park grounds because of a potential copyright issue with the superman thing.

We miss him a lot, but there’s a cancellation fee on the Daily pass, so we’ve been making the most of it. His brother still enjoys the park and since we chose not to press charges, we’re entitled to one free mickey pancake a day

crabwalker

??? Reading that looked like you tried to copy abd paste 3 differint stories together to make us not realise you just copied and pasted??

First of all: splash mountain is a water log ride. There are no places where it just…speeds…up? Its a fucking water log ride???

BECAUSE its a water log ride it DOESNT HAVE RESTRAINTS….it DOES however have a minimum height requirment of 46 inches to ride the ride, so EVEN IF this kid was too small, they WOULD NOT let them ride.

There is no asphault anywhere near the track itself. The CLOSEST you could come is the big drop at rhe end but again, minimum height requirement of 46 inches tall to ride, the angle of the drop and the speed at which you go it is physically impossible to get ‘launched’.

I feel like this is obvious but theres so much obviously wrong about the second addition i suppose i need to state this.

SUPERMAN. ISNT. DISNEY. Superman is DC. The only theme parks that have licenced DC character based rides is six flags.

Six flags, another park that HAS MINIMUM HEIGHT REQUIREMENTS for rides.

That has restraints on rides in which are necesary. Which again, YOU CANNOT RIDE IF YOU DO NOT MEET THE SAFETY GUILDLINES.

Go try to shitpost and ruin the reputation of a differint park, will you? At least make sure your story is even plausable before you open your mis-informed mouth.

goneturkdad-deactivated20191130

@crabwalker Are you seriously explaining to me how Splash Mountain works? Do you think I don’t remember how my son died? Oh, and it’s “physically impossible to get launched?” Guess what, asshole? My SON got launched. This is the last photo we have of him.

You’ve said some cruel things to me, but I’m going to be the bigger person. I’ll be praying, for your sake, that nobody in your family ever gets launched.

plank-boi

That photo is based off of a meme of this lady looking pissed. That and I can’t find an incident based off of what you posted. Shut the fuck up.

gorps

Why did you photoshop tanner out of that picture?

powerburial

sad that there are still ignorant tanner denialists out there

digitaldiscipline

ricedeity

six same sound

rudeteens

I just love barking so I really couldn’t give a fuck if this is the right tree or not haha

phoenixyfriend

Brush your teeth.

If there is ONE PIECE of hygiene you can do, one rote activity that you can muster the spoons for in the evening, make it your teeth.

Shower? You can skip a shower for one night and just wipe yourself down with a damp towel. Brush your teeth.

Skincare? You can pare down the steps, and your skin can heal from a bit of acne. Enamel can't. Brush your teeth.

Brushing your hair? Fuck it, get a buzz cut! Get a protective style! Your hair will grow back, but your teeth won't! Brush your teeth.

Flossing would be good. Mouthwash would be good. But if you can muster up the energy for just one task, brush your teeth.

And if you can't even manage that, chew some sugar-free gum. If nothing else, it will scrub away a bit of the bacteria and catch some stray food that's loose enough to get with the sticky stuff.

But your enamel doesn't grow back and cavities are a bitch.

(I once had seventeen, during my senior(?) year of college. I know. I know. I have been there. The dentistry was hell then, and honestly it still is now: I consider myself lucky if I have less than three fillings that need repair when I go in for a cleaning, and a miracle when there are none. I am not talking at you from my high horse: I am a crab in the bucket with you, but I'm trying to pull you out with me.)

Today, I told my sister to prioritize teeth over skincare because skin heals and enamel doesn't, and she said "really?"

So yeah, this is the PSA: really. Your enamel doesn't grow back.*

Brush your teeth.

* No, the Alzheimer's drug isn't relevant here.

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

zut alors!!!