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[emojireviewpage]

🩰 Ballet shoes Emoji review 🩰

Apple: I don’t dance ballet, so I don’t really have knowledge about ballet shoes. I dance and really love it though. Anyways, These are definitely pinky. They have this pastel pink color I like. The ribbon is a good choice. I love the back, it’s extremely detailed. They look kind of uncomfortable though. 9/10

Google: The color scheme in this one is absolutely gorgeous! It makes me think of a peach and the cell shading is really well done. I would dance with these shoes. 8/10 the ribbons are beautiful.

Samsung: Shouldn’t the emoji have to be less rounded? The points of the shoes are too round for my taste. They look like they are bathed in oil, because it is so shiny. Anyways, the pink is vibrant, but strong. I like the shading. Awesome mini ribbons. 7/10 Suited for a 6-year old toy gift.

Microsoft: Copy-paste. They look too short, which is maybe intented for little people. Awful color. 1/10 Do better.

WhatsApp: It’s cute, but much better if 2 shoes. The ribbon is kinda thin. The pink color is soft. The shoe looks kind of metallic. 7/10 would buy.

Twitter: This looks like meat. 0/10 I wonder if it’s really meat or not. Sad life…

Facebook: I absolutely ADORE this! The ribbons are perfect. The shading is on point. The color is really similar to the common shoes and the shape is really comfortable. I would wear this and take them to my dance classes. 10/10 I want to learn ballet with these.

Skype: Why that shading. This is a disgrace. 0.5/10 points for the unique position.

Twitter: Rosegold!!! These are amazing. I love the details on this. The shading is exquisite. Pretty as flowers. The shape is very good. 9.5/10 Almost as good as Facebook.

Joypixels: Damn. The ribbons are going UP. Flowing gracefully is a good choice. The rest of the emoji is quite normal though. I think they are large. 7/10 Good job.

TossFace: Yeah… No. Ew. 0/10 Bathtub vibes???

Openmoji: DAMNIT. -10/10 AAAAAAAAH

Emojipedia: It’s like you want to shade too much your emoji looks kind of like playdoh. The shading looks dirty and there no exact light source. The ribbon looks printed. I guess they wanted to make the mini-ribbon 3d but it didn’t work. It is only 1 shoe. The ribbons are a little too slippery. This emoji is really weird in shape and shading. 3/10 The only cute thing about this is the color. It looks way too much 2000-Windows Xp esque.

LG: Great shoes! So classy and elegant. The shading is impeccable. I love the ribbons. 9/10 Facebook love child.

Thank you!💕

“Ballet is like dreaming on your feet“

[crunchyrain]

Starbucks is shutting down Kismet, a local Turkish cafe under the claim they serve espresso

Spoilers: they don’t. It’s Turkish coffee.

In the center of Alderwood Mall in Washington, there’s two kiosks.

One is a creation built from the ground up (Literally. They had to install the plumbing and electric themselves.) by a married couple from Turkey. They had a restaurant before immigrating here, and chose to set up shop in a region with a huge middle eastern population. Achma, simit, baklava, Nutella Bomb (Bomb of Izmir remix), börek, and whatever baked goods they’re giving a whip up are worked on as they chat with you. Turkish coffee is brewed and served in beautiful little cups, Italian sodas prepped, and with a baked good of choice enjoyed at the wrap around counter. The place has become a tiny cultural island of familiarity, where friends and families gather to chat, eat and drink.

The other is a duplicate stamp fast food kiosk by a bloated multi-billion dollar corporation that’s already shut down one of its three (3) locations within the mall, leaving yet another unoccupied dead space.

For years, it’s ignored Kismet’s presence while it made the usual hard climb from startup. But it’s gotten popular. And they don’t like it.

And so they walk up to Brookfield Properties who own the mall, and whip out the contract of no one else on the property serving espresso (yes. they have that. insidious isn’t it?) demanding that the Turkish coffee shop close. Here’s the screamer though: They. Don’t. Serve. Espresso. But Brookfield won’t squirm under the thumb of the megacorp unless it’s made loud and clear what a big mistake that is.

They’ve put up a petition to try and rally enough support and noise to get this bullshit on the news.

If you would like to help, even signing the petition will carry this forward. Reblog and share it too, and let’s see if we can’t give Starbucks a well-earned kick in the groin.

[brucefromfamilyguy]

[abstractspacewombat]

rating gorilla emojis :~)

my guy is thicc as FUCK I like his energy. only complaint is that he would beat the shit out of me with no remorse 8/10

why are you sad :( 1/10 at least I know hes a gorilla

huh? what? who? -7/10 I was rooting for the underdog but I dont even know who this is

same as apple but happier!! he would hug me :) 10/10

I'm so fucking scared of him. the haunting white eyes look into my soul. he just told me the day I die- newsflash its today. 1/10 it looks like a gorilla and that's better than microsoft

hes cool I like that he looks like hes from a textbook. i vibe w this guy. 6/10

he shows up to interviews in a hawaiian shirt, high as balls. but hes nice and gives strangers high fives 8/10

literally :3 he skips leg day but I like that hes ginger 4/10

ass out on a tuesday afternoon. hes mischievous. I dont like the colors or the gradient as a whole, but the emphasis on that ass is great. 5/10

? saddle ? 2/10 I dont get it but I like the ambiguity

[chisaikoring]

a nonbinary (technically genderfluid) person rates the nonbinary emoji 💁🏻

APPLE

only company to make one. if you have long hair use the long haired one. if you have short hair use the short haired one. sadly there is no option for femme or masc nonbinaries but good try nonetheless. bonus points for being the only company. 8/10

[mycotoxicity]

unoriginal emoji-reviewing post: bug edition

note: I am not a professional and while I’m an aspiring entomologist this is entirely based on how much I love them and not on any technical basis.

Apple:

this guy’s design is very busy and I’m not sure exactly what type of caterpillar they’re supposed to be. the contrast between their spiky body and very smooth head looks like a bizarre sensory experience. 10/10 little confused but they’ve got the spirit.

Google:

oh a smooth friend!!! a much more realistic caterpillar than their friend up there despite the simple art style but I love them both. Their orange and black markings are modern art. 10/10 a wonderful baby.

Samsung:

Oh no…they’re blobby :( This guy’s markings aren’t consistent at all and the grasshopper shaped head is kind of alarming, but they make up for it with their charm. Look at those adorable little eyes! 10/10 get well soon lil buddy

Microsoft:

This is a robot. 10/10.

WhatsApp:

The vibrance! I’m not sure why this guy has cones for legs or why their head is so narrow, but they make up for their geometric weirdness with that absolutely wonderful shade of green. 10/10 might be an elder god thats fine

Twitter:

They’re purple! That’s an unusual color for a caterpillar to be, but I admire their boldness. This caterpillar woke up and said “Today I’m going to be the most fashionable bug on this emoji list” and they were right. 10/10.

Facebook:

Oh! This is like fantasy fairy world meets glo-worm you had when you were 5! The vibes! This bug is going to send me on a quest to collect acorns for the summer queen. I love her. 10/10.

JoyPixels:

A tortured soul. The blank-eyed, too-human smile is merely a rigid mask barely concealing the roiling agony within, keeping this young insect a prisoner in their own mind. Please help them. 10/10.

OpenMoji:

Oh! A very simple friend! This image fills me with a sense of adventures to come. Maybe they’re facing away, heading off into the sunset to make new friends and conquer the forces of evil. 10/10 you’ll do amazing out there I promise.

emojidex:

HOUSE CENTIPEDE HOUSE CENTIPEDE HOUSE CENTIPEDE!!!! 1000/10 house centipede

Messenger:

I feel like I would encounter this lovely lady in a children’s book. She’s a happy caterpillar who’s almost ready to become a butterfly and wants to throw a party for her friends when she’s done. 10/10.

LG:

Are you okay? Do you need help? I don’t think whoever made this has ever seen a caterpillar in real life, but I love him anyway. 10/10, connecticut-clark-esque charm.

HTC:

The conical legs return, except this time they’re triangles, because this friend is 2D. The pinkish red is a very innovative color choice. Is this friend poisonous, or just hoping we think so? 10/10, structurally challenged but well protected

Mozilla:

A ghost! This baby might be made of ectoplasm, but I love them so much anyway. I hope they’re having a nice afterlife. 10/10 ghost bugs are friends too

SoftBank:

Another centipede! A little bit less bold and daring than her friend up there, but still stands out in a crowd of caterpillars. Very fallcore, probably just looking to hide in a pile of leaves. 10/10.

Docomo:

What? 10/10

au by KDDI:

this is a hexbug. oh man I want a hexbug. someone should give me a hexbug. 10/10 i want a hexbug

[moonlight-jukebox]

[emojirate]

or—

[joutacujo]

Rating Boar Emojis bc I’m bored

also im procrastinating

Handsome, double tusked man! 6/10

head empty, no thoughts 4/10

angular man. A face I can trust 7/10

a bABYYY!! look at that smile! 100/10

fuzzy lad. he looks shy 8/10

A simple man. I trust him 6/10

those eyes hold secrets 5/10

eugh -100/10

ooohohoho oh nonon no hhhooughh 9/10

Ready to fight! get em boi! 9/10

woooah we’re half way thereee, woooahhh boar shaped like a pearrr 7/10

looks… oily 1/10

chunky lad 6/10

this is just a pig 0/10

here comes a special boy! 10/10

square boy square boy square boy 10/10

[witchscarlet]

Rating the Red Circle Emojis

Apple:

6/10 - its fine i guess. gets the job done. its a bit shiny which i dont really get but overall its nice. actually kinda pleasing the longer i look at it.

Google:

5/10 - very flat but there is a TINY bit of shading which i hate. choose one. but it still works and gets the point across. its fine.

Microsoft:

7/10 - now normally i hate microsofts giant black borders but it really works for this one i think. its simple. its cute. i like it.

Samsung:

3/10 - why the fuck is it so shiny. thats not a red circle thats a sphere. what the fuck am i supposed to do with a sphere. fuck this.

Twitter:

9/10 - hell yeah. simple. zen. it is kinda dark compared to the rest which im deducting points for. overall hell yeah. 

emojidex:

-11000/10 - what the fuck is this. do i even need words. fuck you. this isnt even a circle its 3d. thats a button. its also the fucking shiniest goddamn button ive ever seen. fuck you. fuck this. 

Messenger:

0/10 - did you even fucking try

Mozilla:

10/10 - oh my god. thank you. fucking thank you so much. thats a fucking red circle!!! thats what the fuck im talking about babey!!! 

[katerfruehstueckk]

zzz emoji review

according to my trustworthy source emojipedia: “a series of three z’s making a zzz. represents sleeping, snoring, dreaming, or any sleep-related state. can also […] represent something that is boring.” interesting. lets get this bread.

apple:

2/10. too geometrical. we are not in your zoom math class, karen. the blue is nice though.

google:

7/10. this is the form of sleep i wouldn’t mind to experience. no math involved, looks a little curved. but the blue isn’t what i’m looking for.

facebook:

that purple? BULLSHIT. the round letters? BULLSHIT. this resembles my sleep paralysis demon, not my well-deserved afternoon nap. nice try 0/10

windows:

you know what? very bold. literally. very brave choice of colour and outlining. didn’t expect that outcome but 10/10. this is what it fucking feels like to SLEEP.

samsung:

6/10. what’s up with the light blue? y’all are supposed to sleep at night so at least bring some darkness in there. nevertheless, nice curve. i can picture this appearing above my animal crossing villagers when they’re snoring.

twitter:

CUTE blue. but am i losing my mind or does the first two z’s have more shading and edges than the last one? 4/10 for the blue.

[official-josh]

Emoji Rating Time 😬

What do we do under a global quarantine when it’s Friday night and you’ve got nowhere to be? We grab a bottle of roscato and go to emojipedia and rate some got dam emoji that’s what. It’s time. Let’s go 👉

Apple - They’re kinda the OG on emoji if you think about it. I’d say this pretty much sums up the emotion this breed is supposed to convey. It says, succinctly, “Yikes.” Rating: 10/10 for simplicity.

LG - This is just…like what am I supposed to experience here? Shock? Disgust?  This is not yikes. This is “I left the stove on this morning and my wife is gonna leak my nudes to my mom in retaliation”. 0/10. Remind me not to buy an LG product

Google - This one is pretty close to Apple’s basic “yikes” design, but boy its predecessors sure look like they went through it. I’ll have to do a separate post on those because wow. But this guy gets an 8/10. He’s kinda flat and boring but he gets the job done, y’know?

Mozilla - Guys. What…the ears…the eyebrows…the agapeness of it all….negative zero out of ten

Microsoft - Hey. This guy knows what he’s about. He’s thicc. He’s y e l l o w. He’s got a harmonica in his face. I can’t feel my face. This SCREAMS “yikes”. 10/10.

Samsung - I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say maybe this should have been the OG emoji of all time. The big eyes and general grimace convey “Biiiig fucking yikes”. This and the Apple one are two sides of the same coin. 10/10.

Twitter - This….kinda looks like that one gif of that anime where the girl transforms into a fighter jet I’m not gonna lie. 4/10

DEAR FUCKING GOD

WhatsApp - Lmao. This dude’s got two oreo stuffs in his mouth. Right on. 8/10.

[emojirate]

Rating 🐲 Dragon Face 🐲 emojis and deciding what they would hoard

Apple - Ferocious and jolly. There is a lot going on here but for once the gradient mostly works. Looks a bit weird on the horns. Hoards gold. 5/10 I like his nostrils

Google - very nice, I like the way he looks like he’s moving. Eye shape gives me a sense of urgency. Hoards fallen aircraft. Don’t know what the thing coming out his nose is though it’s too high to be the dragon mustache 5/10

Microsoft - a lot of people hate on Microsoft’s thicc black lines but I think it works for this fella. Hoards armor of knights he has slain. 4/10 Very medieval, looks a bit surprised.

Samsung - the first dragon to truly look like a severed head. There’s no urgency, no movement, no character. 2/10 probably hoards moldy bread

Facebook - so seductive and mysterious 6/10 hoards human hearts

Twitter - what the fuck -300000/10 looks like a foot. Hoards toenails

JoyPixels - I like this man. Nice wide mouth, lovely mustache, forked tongue, the works. Does look a little bit like he’s peeking out from a bush 7/10 hoards rare gems

Whatsapp - very wise, very unnerving. Travelers come to him with offerings in exchange for wisdom. Hoards those items as well as all the world’s knowledge 6/10

Emojidex - noble. Majestic. Detailed. Beautiful. My only criticism is that he gets cut off in the corner. Hoards essence of the sun 8/10

HTC - a cute boy!!!! I trust him with my life, hoards children’s books 9/10 pls read me a story

[emojirate]

why would you hide this in the tags

[emojirate]

Rating 🐲 Dragon Face 🐲 emojis and deciding what they would hoard

Apple - Ferocious and jolly. There is a lot going on here but for once the gradient mostly works. Looks a bit weird on the horns. Hoards gold. 5/10 I like his nostrils

Google - very nice, I like the way he looks like he’s moving. Eye shape gives me a sense of urgency. Hoards fallen aircraft. Don’t know what the thing coming out his nose is though it’s too high to be the dragon mustache 5/10

Microsoft - a lot of people hate on Microsoft’s thicc black lines but I think it works for this fella. Hoards armor of knights he has slain. 4/10 Very medieval, looks a bit surprised.

Samsung - the first dragon to truly look like a severed head. There’s no urgency, no movement, no character. 2/10 probably hoards moldy bread

Facebook - so seductive and mysterious 6/10 hoards human hearts

Twitter - what the fuck -300000/10 looks like a foot. Hoards toenails

JoyPixels - I like this man. Nice wide mouth, lovely mustache, forked tongue, the works. Does look a little bit like he’s peeking out from a bush 7/10 hoards rare gems

Whatsapp - very wise, very unnerving. Travelers come to him with offerings in exchange for wisdom. Hoards those items as well as all the world’s knowledge 6/10

Emojidex - noble. Majestic. Detailed. Beautiful. My only criticism is that he gets cut off in the corner. Hoards essence of the sun 8/10

HTC - a cute boy!!!! I trust him with my life, hoards children’s books 9/10 pls read me a story

[rivsquiv]

i was bored so i rated the ghost emojis

apple: simplistic, terrifying soulless eyes. gradations aren’t that bad, arms are behind & detatched from his body. a lil unsettling, good lad. getting drunk casper vibes tho 6/10

google: kinda like apples but the gradation is a block. eyeball looks like a cyclops but it’s not as unsettling as apple’s. wider mouth, could prolly eat my head. 8/10

microsoft: liking the casper head thing. lil too bold, can’t turn invisible smh not a real ghost. ate a popsicle backwards 4.5/10

samsung: cutie!! reminds me of pacman. did the different-size-eyeballs thing that apple did but not as creepily. happy boi 9/10

whatsapp: this is not a ghost this is a cute kid in a sheet costume. deducting a point for shininess smh ghosts do not shine 6/10

twitter: scared tf out of me, but only has one pupil. big mouth. doing the somethingelseyt post. gonna eat my soul 4/10

facebook: HUGGABLE BABEY, GIVE HIM SNUGGLES 40000/10

joypixels: gradations are a lil weird… makes me uncomfortable… draining my spirit… stop with the tongue thing im getting weirded out… -2/10

openmoji: again, a kid in a sheet costume. prolly stole it from his parent’s closet. artist doesn’t understand shadows. 2/10.

emojidex: looks like a demonic soul released from a scarecrow. creepy yet adorable. why is he blue 5/10

messenger: sad boo boi, hangs out in the cemetery. huggable, also a lil shiny. poor boy needs some love & rest 7.5/10

lg: another stolen pair of sheets. this kid used scissors, did not stick out his tongue. pudgy, reminds me of the googly-eyed squid. overall creepy & cute 8/10

htc: why is he sharp im scared for my life, his smile is psychopathic & has got scissor hands please don’t murder me im locking my doors tonight -13/10

mozilla: very simple. did the eye thing again. tongue is pierced. overall p cute 7/10

softbank: yeahhh 10000000000/10

[gmos]

ranking cactus emojis for style and accuracy

Apple: 5/10. there was an attempt, it’s a little cartoony but you can tell where it’s going

Google: 6/10. kinda simple, but not the worst. the body color is good but spikes kinda look like green bugs. still, it could feature as a set piece for an elementary school cowboy play

Microsoft: 1/10. brobee from yo gabba gabba what happened to you. what is this. it’s like a hairy coat hanger. why is it so bright green

Samsung: 1/10 far too smooth and yet also too bumpy. looks like a zombified download button

WhatsApp: 6/10. twitter cactus’s pretty friend. the texture and spines are a little off and the flowers aren’t right for a saguaro but she’s trying her best

Twitter: -2/10. this is an irradiated pickle.

Facebook: 7/10. now we’re getting somewhere! look at the spines distributed vertically along the ridges! someone’s been on google images

Emojidex: 2/10. im pretty sure this thing was an aquabats monster.

Messenger: -50/10. an even worse irradiated pickle. what the fuck happened here. why is it floating. did i miss a new pokemon release?

LG: 7/10. some variety! we love a beavertail in this house. spines are sparse but they took a risk so i’ll give them some points

HTC: 0/10. this is a long watermelon with two dicks

[hxwko]

I wanna rate the mango emoji because quarantine is boring

🥭 this one right here. 

Apple is doing a good job. Perfect mango. The leaf and the stem are cute. The colors are perfect. [ 10/10 would eat. ]

Google. Horrible. This looks like a potato. [ 1/10 the leaf is okay ig. ]

This is an orange. [ -11/10 ] 

Samsung is doing a pretty good job. Despite the small orange outline, it looks okay. [ 8/10 ]

Perfect. This has no flaws. Looks ripe and ready to eat. [ 11/10 ]

????? This looks like a tomato. [ 0/10 ]

Damn, Facebook is doing pretty good there. It looks delicious! [ 9/10 because the leaf looks sad ]

No idea what JoyPixels is but they’re doing a good job. Looks cute. I like the style. [ 9/10 ]

What the fuck. [ -5/10 ]

This is the same one as the one from Samsung but better. I love it. [ 10/10 ]

In conclusion: Go eat a mango.

[reviewingemojis]

ogre.. beast thing? emoji review

he looks like an absolute rascal. a madman. he is mischievous and loves to prank people. 7/10, he is a bit unsettling

i am not getting good energy from him. he looks like he is in despair, but also has a flaming rage inside his soul. 4/10, i don’t like his teeth

a truly good man! he seems like he is full of joy. he is trying his best and he loves life. i wish him endless happiness. 10/10, a very good fellow all around.

he has a similar energy to apple and microsoft. i feel like he is going to prank me but i also feel like he will bake me cookies. very enthusiastic. 8.5/10, his teeth are very nice

a scary man. sort of intimidating. his eyes concern me, though. 5/10, does he have an eye infection?

i don’t like this. i am feeling intimidated. what is wrong with his teeth? why are they like that? is he okay? 3/10, i like his hair.

what is this? is this a middle aged man? he looks disappointed. i don’t like his bowl cut or the way he is looking at me. 1/10, is he a father in his 40s?

i see. this must be facebooks son. he is not intimidating but rather goofy. why is he so chubby? what is he? 2/10, i do not like him. i do not.

this is the worst one. no doubt. he is obviously cursed. his soul is in pain. he wants to be freed. i do not like his energy. also, take him to the dentist. please cleanse his soul from the demons. 0/10, i am very scared.

i was wrong. i was so wrong. this is the worst thing i’ve ever seen. cursed, perhaps. i don’t feel good. i feel like he is coming right now, possibly to murder me at 3am. -100/10, i am going to die tonight.