Do Not Pet

You should be sleeping. Or drinking water. Go.

[pukicho]

Am I your special little boy

Not particularly

[pukicho]

This is a really fun post so far

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @c-horses123

phrases you hear when you and your pals get wankered in a field

text: I'm the snake in the grass with alcohol poisoning

[yoursoftdombf]

Best foreplay:- a conversation so deep it turns you on

[binarisunset]

I know Daeron's dynamic with the Hightowers is the most popular but did anybody else get excited with Aegon's "little twat" comment. like that was the very first time he was acknowledged by one of the other targtowers and it made me SO excited to see a possible interaction between all the brothers

[emotional-support-husband]

Aegon and Daeron will probably get along well, because they're both used to worse.

[loredwy]

I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

[would-you-punt-them]

now all the things you guys have told me about american high schools are starting to make sense

[jeaninelatragedia]

holy shit.

[frustratedasatruar]

You're not really supposed to say it this way, because its considered crass, but here in the US children are culturally and legally considered essentially the property of their parents.

Note that its considered more crass to point this out than it is to treat children as property in the first place.

[ghost-point]

I thought it was the same in the rest of the world tbh. Happy discovery ig

[emotional-support-husband]

Children have NO rights in the United States. Parents get full authority to make decisions on everything, including things that, for adults, are protected rights.

A parent can waive their child's right to legal counsel on their behalf. Child doesn't get a say.

Under certain circumstances, a parent can arrange for their child to have a DNR Order. Child does not get a say.

This is why it's hilarious to hear Pro-Lifers talk about the "rights of the baby."

[barksbog]

she is so obsessed with the couch

[teeth--king]

Same image

[dogpuppy]

[liberalsarecool]

Also, Conor McGregor blew out his knee in like nine seconds last night and Drake lost a million dollars betting on him.

So even better

[theyhitthe2ndtower]

there’s a chance my stepmom may have some sort of cancer and she’s worried about the cost of procedures more than the possibility of having a form of cancer let’s nuke the white hou💥💥💥

[thememedaddy]

[thememedaddy]

[saltywatcherwonder]

You gotta give Aemond credit for being consistent.

Pulled a 100 year old dragon, pulled a 100 year old woman, invested in an 100 year old house.

[helenvaughans]

why are the most powerful people in the world all such whiny fucking babies now

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

They always were, but now they have twitter. Also the standards of their dignity have fallen enough that reporters are more candid about what they say to them.

[sundae-meringue]

I'm gratitudemaxxing rn. I love my comfy bed and chocolate chip cookies and my weird gay friends and blorbo from my shows. I love libraries and parks and movie theaters and restaurants and festivals. I love bubble tea and hip hop and honeysuckle. I love everyone who's reading this.

[gouged-doll]

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[homunculus-argument]

Literally no reason for a guy to be over 5'7". That's just wasteful use of biomass. You had enough material to make four dudes and instead you made three. That thing is blocking an entire isle in the grocery store.

[homunculus-argument]

No you got the math the wrong way around. Let's say that you've got four 150 cm dudes. That's a reasonable amount, and a nice round number. Add their heights together, that's 600 cm. The same height could be used to make three 200 cm guys. What are you going to do with three giraffes that you can't fit into a normal-sized car, that you couldn't do with four compact travel-sized guys.

[pipariperho]

[homunculus-argument]

Fun fact: The last time I checked Gandalf's height for a shitpost, one souce stated that he is 167cm/5'6", so my height!!!! The second source I found described Gandalf is "taller than Dwarves and Hobbits, but shorter than Elves and Men."

>:|

[nerdylizard5]

In fact this is not only true but also means that Gandalf is A FULL FOOT SHORTER than Aragorn AND Boromir both!

[homunculus-argument]

Wait I think we've finally put together why Gandalf liked hanging out with hobbits and dwarves.