Our quote bank+D&D shit

6 goofy friends made 6 goofier D&D OCs and said weird shit they wanted to record! Contains quotes even we'll eventually forget the context for, and lovely D&D art and fic of our party members. Occasionally NSFW text aight

[fury-brand]

i think if you aren’t absolutely deranged about at least one (1) fictional woman you should go ahead and make that a personal project

[pyrrhiccomedy]

[emperorzaargs]

I'd rather be pissed on in real life than read ABO

Mod Miles

[dnd-homebrew5e]

[emperorzaargs]

My heart is dribbling out my anus

Mod Quail

[dicaeopolis]

do you think god stays in heaven b

[rindeservedbetter-deactivated20]

[ukrainian-psycho]

thats just some tea, yall  ☕ ☕ ☕

[dr-archeville]

D&D Player Mods Hundreds Of Monsters Into Playable Characters

Your bread-and-butter Dungeons & Dragons party won’t include a manticore, a gargoyle, a hyena or a sentient fungi, but maybe it should. One D&D player spent a year and a half converting every single creature in the D&D Monster Manual into playable characters, and now players can live out their dreams of being a great fire beetle who slays dragons.

Your bread-and-butter Dungeons & Dragons party won’t include a manticore, a gargoyle, a hyena or a sentient fungi, but maybe it should.  One D&D player spent a year and a half converting every single creature in the D&D [5E] Monster Manual into playable characters, and now players can live out their dreams of being a great fire beetle who slays dragons.

There are hundreds of monsters in D&D’s Monster Manual, many of which don’t really lend themselves to the Lord of the Rings-esque adventures that traditionally star humanoids.  Most dungeon masters won’t let players stray too far from that model.  It’s hard to wrap a plot around a rag-tag team of dire bats and oozes, and it’s hard to make sure a party’s stats are balanced when it contains both a faerie dragon and a mastiff.

Creator Tyler Kamstra’s new 283-page homebrew mod “Monstrous Races” offers ways for players to embody any of D&D’s monsters using stats, role-playing notes and everything else you’d expect to see listed next to the “Human” race in the D&D Player’s Handbook.  To play a basilisk, for example, players can attempt to petrify a creature with their gaze as an action.  This is helpful, since basilisks don’t have hands, rendering them incapable of holding a sword.  To play a banshee, or an undead spirit of a female elf, Kamstra recommends that players covet beautiful objects and remain within five miles of anywhere the banshee lived while alive.

This “Monstrous Races” mod is the sort of wonderful thing that, back in D&D days of yore, would exist as a titanic document in some far-flung basement, only to be enjoyed by a handful of players.  We can at least thank the internet for giving us playable purple worms.

Oooh

[thesnadger]

Every D&D Player when their character falls unconscious: I’m dead.

Every DM, immediately: You’re not dead yet.

[firelordleah]

dm: so it’s pretty dark -

the whole party in haunting unison: I H A V E D A R K V I S I O N

[emperorzaargs]

What do you mean organs aren't skin?

Mod Zanth, sarcastically

[emperorzaargs]

Use the head of a Barbie as a bong

Mod Aldiel

[emperorzaargs]

I'm a lovely pigeon

Mod Quail

[emperorzaargs]

Real players spit like civilized beings

Mod Zanth

[emperorzaargs]

First I thought 'orange', and then I though 'human', and then I came to 'English.'

Mod Quail, on thinking of the word English

[emperorzaargs]

Not everything you put in your mouth is for deep throating

Mod Dmitri

[emperorzaargs]

The drunker you are, the less good you taste

Mod Aldiel