what do you see ?

𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐯𝐚𝐬.

[maelsong]

PSA / HIATUS .

alright folks , the day has come . tomorrow i’m taking a leap of faith and MOVING TO DUBLIN , IRELAND to … basically look for a life , if you wanna put it shortly . i’m staying a month - ish at a friend’s place , and meanwhile i’ll be looking for a job , but this goes without saying : i won’t be able to come online for a while . i don’t know what my living conditions will be , i don’t know if i’ll even have wifi in the beginning — so my time being present on the dash with actual posts will amount to zero for a while . 

I WILL , however , be online most of the time ( and probably REALLY needing some friends and distractions through the stressful beginnings of this adventure ) so you’ll be able to find me :

on disco/rd , which tends to change , but right now is rylan#5230 ( and either way you can always hit me up via im for it ) . on wire : candymo ( morgan ) , agenthomas ( camille ) , profswann ( robin , for the braver ones ) . on snap/chat : ask me for the handle !

all these are obviously for rping and plotting as well , because i know the distractions will be super welcome . 

this doesn’t mean i’m closing my blogs — i simply have to be offline for a bit but you’re always welcome to hit me up at any moment , and as soon as i have my own apartment and some sort of a job that allows me to pay for wifi , i’ll be back on the dash ! ♥

catch ya on the flippety flip ! 

[empricist]

MEME CALL ? 

[empricist]

@ragebloomed​ said :  Every time you talk I hear that sound that plays when Pacman dies. ( from kat ) mandatory b99 starters , selectively accepting .

the sharp ( and yet unexpectedly creative ) note of blame in her voice is nothing new — cam is used to it , has been for a while : where there would be a hairtrigger reaction before , now there’s a passive acceptance of kat’s mood ( an awareness , too , that perhaps it’s deserved to some degree ) . so camille’s reply doesn’t come with snarky remarks , or frowns : just a deep sigh , and something in between a smirk and a smile . “ you’re getting good at these ” . tone flat , eyes fixed on an anonymous window on the street , while she leans against the hood of her car and desperately longs for this to be done with . she remembers a time where she’d long for her company and find shelter within it : now it’s just another form of nausea . tiredly stretching her neck , then , she leans slightly to the left while a hand scans the contents of her pockets and comes out , regrettably empty , so desperate for just one cigarette . perhaps that’s the reason for the added bitterness in her following lines . “ hope these kindergarten grade of insults bring joy to you , however . they surely bring nothing to me but a reason to leave . ”

[melamemea]

right in the guts. angst sentences.

“It always comes back to this with you, doesn’t it?”

“Why can’t you just learn to let the fuck go.”

“Did it over occur to you that I never wanted this to begin with?”

“Why can’t you just look at me for one god damn second!”

“Let go of my hand.”

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Why are you — saying all these things —”

“You know what? I was wrong. You never really meant anything to me. You’re broken, you’re beyond fixing, you’re not something I want to take the time to handle. Simple as that.”

“You’re a god damn mistake, that’s what you are.”

“I never wanted anything to do with you to begin with.”

“This, us, was a fucking mistake and I should have known the second things went further than planned.”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”

“If anything, you were a fucking waste of time.”

“I just don’t feel anything anymore.”

“Looking at you I see nothing but something I need to put an end to.”

“Oh? Really? You thought we had a future? What gave you that idea.”

“Is this even going anywhere?”

“Why can’t we just talk about it —”

“Does it ever occur to you that I am done talking? That I am done with reflecting upon my words and action? Can’t you just take a fucking hint that I’m done with you? I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.”

“We’re through. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“You were broken to begin with.”

“How am I supposed to ‘love you’ when I never had feelings to being with.”

“Haha, I don’t know who gave you THAT idea, but we’re not an item. We never were.”

“I’d like for you to leave now.”

“Just get out. Get out and leave me alone.”

“Why are you — saying all these things??? Where did they come from???”

“If you never were happy to begin with, how come you never told me?! I would have listened, I would have helped —”

“I don’t need, or want help, what I want is for you to get the fuck away from me.”

“You’re damaged goods and I can’t find the patience to take on you as a project.”

“You’re the kind of crazy I don’t want to deal with.”

“Lately you’ve become a burden, and I can’t handle it anymore.”

“If you’d just leave me alone, that’d be great.”

“Oh come on, the second we got to know each other, the due date were already set on us. We were never meant to last forever. Our relationship had a deadline, and now we’re at it; so, what you gonna do?”

“This is all on you.”

“Save your tears. I’m done here.”

[intrepidgirlreader]

“I am afraid of a ghost that is mine. It reflects my will to be wild, my inclination to plant roots, my hunger for treats, my fear that straying too far from the pack is what I must do but perhaps at a large cost.”

— Little Weirds, Jenny Slate

[empricist]

ribslit‌

HIS GAZE FOLLOWS HER MOVEMENT      as she lays the photograph on his desk.  the photograph is not the worst he’s seen,  but in some ways he feels he’s gotten a bit unused to this aspect of the job.  certainly,  he’s travelled and talked to various law enforcement agencies,  but his specific topic is communication — interviews,  interrogations,  negotiations,  and talking to the media.  sometimes he’s sent to the police when they need help with a particular interview,  but much more often he’s simply there as a kind of refresher course.  all of this is to say that very,  very rarely has he been shown crime scene photos in the last four years.

he considers the photograph carefully.  at first pass,  the scene is typically grotesque,  but as jim looks it over further,  a few things stand out to him.  the amount of blood is more than he’s seen at any of the crime scenes he’s been at,  or been handed photographs of.  he thinks he can spot pieces of paper,  pages of something,  scattered around the scene,  but the photograph doesn’t show them clearly enough for him to make any comments about them either way,  aside from the fact that they are there.

he looks up at the mention of a cold case,  and spends a moment evaluating her instead.  he’s known camille for a while now,  and he watches her expression twist briefly as she finishes filling him in on the background.  jim considers asking the question;  he gets close enough that his mouth opens,  but then shuts again,  pressing into a thin line as he considers.  finally,  he nods.

“ of course. ”  he says.  “ i can’t promise anything.  if i’m turned away from this case,  i have to respect that. ”  he looks at her again,  thinks over what he knows and remembers about her history with what this case is,  or what it could be.  “ but i can be persuasive when i try. ”

      camille treads lightly — although far too removed from her own tendency to sink neck - deep into horrors that would scar anyone’s mind , the matter at hand is as delicate as an exposed nerve . something in her stirs , yearns to wrap itself around this new obsession , which is exactly the same as the old one — just more complex , and treacherous . somehow she fears betraying this need of hers ( tangible like a physical part of her : an organ in her ribcage , oozing black sap and tainting , corrupting , but perhaps the parasite has spread so widely she can barely tell where it ends and she begins ) — as if an excessively long gaze might alert him as to which dark corners her mind is now wandering to , camille turns her attention to his hands holding the photograph , folding her own arms as she observes . 

    unprompted , then , she takes a seat : chalk it up to a distraction technique , or a way to summon old days’ camaraderie and chase away distrust that is only , currently , in her own mind —— somehow she feels guilty , asking for his help and knowing , despite his words , that if the call doesn’t succeed she will be thoroughly disappointed . she holds no wishful delusions on its outcome , but the worrying thing is - there’s a backup plan , and should it not go well , she’s more than ready to drive there and impose herself on the investigation . ah , poor jim — he should never have to deal with her absolute disregard for inter - agency diplomacy . 

    fingernails tapping lightly on his desk , camille laughs .“ oh , i know that . it’s why i’m asking you , and not someone else . ” a knowing smile follows , cheek resting against the palm of her hands because , despite the caffeine , the late hour is beginning to demand its payments in poorly suppressed yawns and a slouch that’s only corrected when she’s leaning slightly closer on the desk , towards him . “ though do try to be a little more persuasive than usual , if you can . it’s — ” , ah , there : she’s slipping again . a pause , and then she’s withdrawing just a little . “ — an interesting case . ”

[empricist]

cam on any date ever : “ —— then we found the murderer drenched in blood , and all the missing limbs were inside the trunk of her car . wild , right ? anyway , what was the best day of your life ? ”

[empricist]

💀

[bensonstablers]

You | 1x04: The Captain

[empricist]

BOLD  applicable  fears . ITALICIZE uncomfortable .

the dark  ⋆  fire  ⋆  open water  ⋆  deep water  ⋆  being alone ⋆ crowded spaces  ⋆  confined spaces  ⋆  change  ⋆  failure  ⋆  war  ⋆ loss of control   ⋆   powerlessness  ⋆  prison  ⋆  blood ⋆  drowning  ⋆  suffocation  ⋆ public speaking  ⋆  natural animals  ⋆  the supernatural  ⋆  heights  ⋆  death/dying ⋆  intimacy  ⋆  rejection  ⋆  abandonment  ⋆  loss  ⋆  the unknown  ⋆  the future ⋆  not being good enough  ⋆  scary stories  ⋆  speaking to new people  ⋆   poverty ⋆  loud noises ⋆  being touched ⋆  forgetting  ⋆ remembering  ⋆  loving

tagged by:     @inqustve​ ilu ♥ tagging:    @viollens​ , @wretchedhearted​ , @croweswings​ , @groupiequeen​ , @vocaels​ , @winebleeds​ + anyone who feels like doing this !

[empricist]

@msnry​ said : “i’m going to throw up.” //no cap// the solitude of prime numbers , not accepting .

              her attention keeps splitting between the road and him — it’s not safe , and some remote corner of her brain is aware of it , or rather : aware of the inherent risk of devoting so many of her instincts to watching over another human who does not need , perhaps even want , this sort of care . and yet it’s inevitable — through the turns of the frozen - clad road , her eyes keep wandering to the passenger’s seat , picking up on a specific shade of discomfort that’s quickly filtered through an analytical mind and translated into hard facts : shock , disgust , sickness . “ want me to pull over ? ” , now openly addressing him , showing her cards : her concern blatant on her figure , as her gaze’s deviations towards him increase in frequency and duration . “ loki . ” a rest - stop comes up , the unexpected deus ex machina : pulling into the parking lot , camille stops the car and leans over , hand hovering just above his back ( some sort of instinct , muscle memory kicking in ) , but frozen still : “ loki , are you alright ? ” 

[empricist]

@vocaels​ said : ‘ i don’t deserve you. ‘ late night starters , sel . accepting .

perhaps it’s the late hour , making her words sound much louder than she’s used to —— perhaps it’s the emptiness of the precinct , turning sounds into double edged half - truths that camille can’t comprehend . she understands facts , hard truths — evidence . feelings ... ah , that is uncharted territory , right there . unknown wastelands in which north and south have no meaning anymore . just her , crawling in the dark — leaning into her , for guidance , maybe just for warmth . and it’s a distinct warmth like a knot in her stomach that alerts her that something’s off —— a hand instinctively reaching to move the hair from her face , eyes begging for truth looking into her . “ —— hey . what do you mean ? ”

[empricist]

@wulfcop​ said : God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever. / fr wulfcop brooklyn nine nine , sel . accepting .

her reply is a side - glance , not even that harsh , really : simply confused . she’s not exactly a fan of small talk , even less when it’s on the job : knee deep in a crime scene , her mind wrapped around each clue , each detail it can pick up — and then disrupted by that comment , and the fact that she really does not get it , at all . she’s partial to ignoring it , letting it go — she also knows it will bother her to no end , if she doesn’t get an explanation out of him . “ i was top of my class . so ? ”

[maelsong]

folks , i am sorry i keep disappearing !! the truth is , in less than ten days i’ll be moving to a different country , so i’m currently rattled by a million reasons to stress , plus dealing with a lot of errands — which means when i do have the time to come online , i’m usually too stressed / tired to really do anything . on top of this , i’ve been feeling out of touch with pretty much everything tumblr related : i wanna write badly , but it’s like i can’t connect with anyone anymore — which stresses me like hell , because i wanna have fun on here , not feel out of place , you know ? either way , i’ve decided to take it easy and do a little rping whenever i can , be it a starter or a reply or just some plotting . but my blogs will have to remain LOW ACTIVITY until i’ve actually settled into my own place ( and for the first month in ireland , i’ll be staying at a friend’s house , so i basically will have no opportunity to come online and do stuff on the dashboard ) — you can ALWAYS reach me on discord and / or wire , and that’s the easiest way to rp with me and my muses too , until i have a place where i can actually use a laptop . but until then , please bear with me and don’t forget about my idiots ♥ thanks !

[empricist]

SHIPPING CALL — maybe ?? like this if you’d be into discussing a potential romantic / platonic / fwb plot between our muses ... ? 

[ribslit]

I  NEVER  REALIZED  THE  𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐇𝐒  I'D  HAVE  TO  GO,  ALL  THE  DARKEST  CORNERS  OF  A  SENSE  I  DIDN'T  KNOW.  JUST  FOR  ONE  MOMENT,  I  HEARD  SOMEBODY  CALL.  LOOKED  BEYOND  THE  DAY  IN  HAND,  𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑬'𝑺  𝑵𝑶𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮  𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑬  𝑨𝑻  𝑨𝑳𝑳.  ——— ( a detective oc written by zoey )

[empricist]

hey loves , i’m having kind of a weird day mind - wise , so i’m probably gonna be radio silent and work on real life stuff . i’ll be on dico however , so if you wanna talk or plot or rp or w / e , catch me @ morgan was a diver#5230 ♥