Filling the Blanks

[empty-empty-empty]

I imagine that someday

I too will be happy

Smile with my eyes, wind blowing my hair

And be the one that people look at

In awe and wonder at the radiance

I imagine such a day will come

It's the only consolation I have

[empty-empty-empty]

I love the anonymity that's place offers me because I want to scream and shout as I hold back the tears in real life and call my friends and tell them to comfort me but how can I ask those already weary to give me anything? How can I tell them the same thing I've been telling them for the last decade? I can't. So I pour my heart out here where no one sees where no one knows me where somebody might just stumble on it because I'm tired to talking to myself in the journals I keep. I want to talk about this feeling I have in my bones that I will die alone feeling unloved and hating everyone for their happiness for getting what I didn't have, never had. For the unfairness of it all and the way this stupid universe works because of course not everyone finds their happiness and some people die miserable only why did I have to be one of those to die miserable? I talk as if my life is over and it's like knowing how a sort ends but not being able to change it except in your own head. Why I am so goddamn fascinated by time travel.

[empty-empty-empty]

It's been days since I did anything but eat and sleep and drown myself in make-believe, trying to run away from the reality of me and who I am and the disgust I feel. I've been trying and failing at righting, picking myself up enough to walk the laid out path but I keep losing it. Someday I walk around like the blind not really seeing anything, not really noticing when dark turns to light and then goes dark again. The minutes turn to hours and thoughts never become action and it's too late now, I better go to bed, it's a new day tomorrow, maybe then we can try again.

[empty-empty-empty]

When do the galaxies align for you?

Or it only for people whose lives

Are just to hard to bear?

Do we tell ourselves it gets better

So that each day is slightly bearable

And you wake up the next day

To tell yourself it will happen.

The spiders have spun their webs

Inside my house

They come in hordes

As if telling each other

'No one lives here anyways'

I try to chase them away

But they won't leave me alone.

As if telling me,

' You're not alive anyway '

I can't say I disagree.

What is this wishing that never ends?

I've stopped chasing the spiders away

They don't come this way anymore.

[lykanthea-blog]

Give your daughters difficult names. Give your daughters names that command the full use of tongue. My name makes you want to tell me the truth. My name doesn’t allow me to trust anyone that cannot pronounce it right.

Warsan Shire (via lykanthea)

[aseaofquotes]

[empty-empty-empty]

Me. Last night. No. this morning.

[elprofesore]

i keep buying books of poetry

hoping they will give me hope,

but most of the time, they depress me

because they are trying to be too poetic,

which doesn’t make any fucking sense,

since poetry is supposed to be poetic,

so maybe i don’t really like poetry,

but people,

shooting it to me straight,

in a language i understand,

instead of all this,

O my fucking soul.

[ohtheladyboner]

Galactic Lovepoem - Adrian Henri

Warm your feet at the sunset

Before we go to bed

Read your book by the light of Orion

With Sirius guarding your head

Then reach out and switch off the planets

We’ll watch them go out one by one

You kiss me and tell me you love me

By the light of the last setting sun

We’ll both be up early tomorrow

A new universe has begun.

[empty-empty-empty]

Life right now

Heavy hearts, wasted youth, broken spirit, deadpan eyes. Weighted bodies, drowned out voices, hopeless life. Eternity doomed.

[shorten]

[empty-empty-empty]

so so lost.

[thepoetscryforme-deactivated201]

[empty-empty-empty]

me. today.

[empty-empty-empty]

Love - I don’t wait for you

love love love love love i don’t wait for you.  No I don’t. I don’t wait for you to come knocking on my door.

I don’t wait for you to come and punch me in the solar plexus knocking the air out of my lungs leaving me in a fit of coughing water filling my eyes as I try  to get a hold of what happened I don’t wait

i don’t wait for you to come and make me feel like the very thing that sustains the universe the seed of life- of existence i don’t wait for you

I don’t wait for you to turn my throat dry suffer arrhythmia and dilated pupils unable to focus at a loss for words to the point where my mind is a vast expanse of blankness i don’t wait.

i don’t wait for you to come and turn me on leaving me burning from the inside waiting for you to quench my thirst for your touch I don’t wait for you

i don’t wait for you to drive me mad from the heat rising off of my body  at you touch in the sweltering heat craving your worship and obeisance most ardent devotee tracing lines i don't wait

i don't wait for you to come with keys in hand to wind me up and bring me to life. 

[nymphaea--colorata-deactivated2]

[liabye]

<3Dark Pale Post Here<3

[blvck--v3n0m]

Most of the time I keep wondering if the people I set as priorities see me as a priority.

A Lifetime Question (via senyahearts)

Something that used to bother me till a few months back. 

[empty-empty-empty]

all these ‘desi’ girls and guys on tumblr be like “we so brown, we so desi, we be authorities on ‘desi’ culture” sitting somewhere NOT desi, holding on to a culture that has changed since their ancestors left desi land..

[elprofesore]

i could only go so far into the world of philosophy

before i realized it wasn’t about the wisdom

of how to live one’s life, but more of an argument

to see who could explain life in a more complex

and alienating way, as i began to read

between the lines, and see the sadness in the eyes

of my...

[fullheartedly]