I wish I was skinny, for if I was skinny maybe the lack of fat would make up for the lack of love that I have for my own mind
we're not kids anymore.
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@emptybagofbones
I wish I was skinny, for if I was skinny maybe the lack of fat would make up for the lack of love that I have for my own mind
I wanna go back to old behaviors
I miss fasting for hours upon hours
And being able to control myself and say no to anything
Counting calories was a routine
Exercise felt good
Everything felt safe
I’m just sick in the head
Keep getting rejected from job applications. Feel so unhungry all of a sudden.
i hit rock bottom like every 5 hours
“sorry im just feeling weird today” little do they know i have been feeling weird since 2006
Nobodywillevertrulyloveme
i lean on my ed more than i lean on the ppl in my life
you guys i’m done foolin around it’s time to be skinny.
I hate that at night when I can't sleep I'm hungry, body stop trying to sabotage me, I'm not hungry, I don't want to eat, I don't need food.
the day my thighs stop jiggling when i walk is the day i will be truly happy
Ana is becoming my best friend once again.. I hate her but I need her at the same time. Sometimes I want to vent about my disordered eating. But at the same time, I don't want anyone to know, because controlling how much I eat, or when I feel like throwing it up is a good option, or even restricting, are the only things in my life where I have full control. I can't let her go. Because when I do, she comes back stronger. But yet I still see no changes in my appearance.. but to others in order for you to be considered have an eating disorder, you have to look skinnier to the point where you're nothing but bones. To most, if you don't look sick. Then you aren't sick.
I always go back to this.
Bodycheck 03/06/2021⚖️
I feel awfully overweight lately , my head is going insane. I wanna restrict so much and forget about everything.
I’m wearing my old shorts. I had them when i was like 15yo. That proud feeling you get when you don’t fit in your old clothes anymore.
Update on stats:
Cw: 95lbs
Height: 5’6
Waist: 60cm
Hips: 84cm
“this summer gonna be a movie!!”
haha yeah-
super low calorie pancakes!!
this whole plate is 130 calories including butter, whipped cream, strawberries and syrup
the pancakes alone are 70 calories for two decent size ones but you could probably make 3 medium ones
ingredients:
-1/4 tsp baking powder (0)
-1/4 tsp salt (0)
-2tbsp flour. i used oat flour (42)
-3tbsp egg whites or ~2 eggs worth (25)
-sweetener to your liking. i did 2-3tsp (0)
toppings:
-1.5g butter (10)
-100g strawberries (30)
-walden farms syrup (0)
-10g non fat whipped cream (10)
directions:
-heat up a pan (preferably non-stick)
-add a little oil or water. i used some water on a nonstick pan
-mix your ingredients and add them to the pan in the sizes you want
-check and flip pancakes until they look right to you
enjoy!
The real five food groups:
1. Water
2. Diet coke
3. Hot tea/ coffee
4. Apples
5. Thinspo
Did anyone else go through a random recovery where your mental health just improved in general which allowed you to kick your ED mentality to the curb and see through body dysmorphia but then gained a decent amount of weight making you unhappy with your body and reverting back to ED habits even though you don’t have the same obsession anymore and now feel like you don’t really have an ED anymore because it’s not that bad you just have disordered eating and also kinda wish your mental health would just fuck up so you could at least go back to being a real Anorexic/bulimic ect. Because boy this feels shit and confusing and I really do feel like I’m faking it now.
I’m exactly in that phase right now 🙄
Someone put it into words. Omg.
Yep that’s exactly where I’m at rn
Right here yup
that is so me rn
Literally me rn but my restriction is worse than before
Yup this is me