Friends? Maybe? → Alex & Rachel
TAGGING → Alex Vause & Rachel Berry
LOCATION→ Holding Cell
TIMEFRAME→ Morning, January, Rachel’s first day
GENERAL NOTES→ Alex hears Rachel crying in the holding cell, and the two meet for the first time
Alex:
Alex really couldn’t listen to the crying anymore. It’s not that it was loud, or annoying. In fact she could tell that the girl was doing her best to stifle the noise. The problem was, Alex couldn’t listen to crying. It reminded her of too many things. The last time she cried. And the time before that. Her mother. Piper. It was a rare thing for Alex to be driven to tears, and every time she was…well those moments were burned in her memory. And she didn’t care to relive them now. So Alex tore herself away from her book and walked (okay, stormed) over to the holding cell, and stood in the doorway, arms crossed and a single eyebrow arched.
“Hey kid, what’s your problem?”
As soon as she said it, the sniffling stopped and the girl looked up at her through shining eyes, like a deer caught in headlights. The first thing Alex noticed was how young she looked. She knew she must have been older, but there was a sweetness about her, and an untouched-by-the-world quality. Not innocent, but not yet jaded. She was immediately reminded of Piper. The brunette continued to stare at her, but the shock was gone from her face. She could see the girl trying to make sense of what was happening, as if inmates weren’t allowed to speak to other inmates, and she wondered if she was breaking some kind of rule. It was Alex’s first instinct to just walk away. But something kept her glued to the spot, and intrigued by the girl in front of her. So she tried again, a little more forcefully.
“Okay this is really exciting for me, just standing here, but have you regained the ability to speak? Or do I need to call for the doctor? Really nice guy, our prison doctor…once you get used to the hands…”
Alex was happy that she stayed, the look on her face was worth it.
Rachel:
It seemed like the tears wouldn’t stop. She felt like she would be crying for days and never end. Maybe dehydration would come into play sooner or later but Rachel was convinced she would find a way to overcome even that so she could keep on crying. It seemed the natural thing to do.
Then someone was…talking to her? And calling her kid?
Just the shock from it ceased her tears and she looked up at the woman before her. She was tall. Really tall. With glasses and an attitude that radiated off of her that told Rachel she wasn’t someone you should mess with. But wait, why was she even talking to her? Were they allowed to talk to each other here?
And now the woman was getting smart with her. And that was one thing Rachel Berry would not stand for. She sat up on the bunk, hitting her head on the low hanging bunk above her, and frowned at the woman.
“I’m in no need of a doctor and I’m certainly not a kid as you so refer to me,” Rachel huffed, rubbing the top of her head that throbbed in pain. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and surveyed the woman in front of her just a little more. Really, she didn’t want to interact with her at all, but she engaged her first so Rachel figured it would be okay this time. After all, she was dating a murderer. What could be worse than that?
“And who might you be?” Rachel asked with one final sniffle, trying to subtly wipe away some stray tears.
Alex:
“Woaaaah, easy there, Punky Brewster. I can see that you’ve got spirit but if you don’t calm down you’re gonna end up with a concussion.”
Alex liked the fight in this girl. And now that she was standing, she could see that the tiny fire in her, might in fact, be due to her tiny stature and some over-compensating. But Alex wasn’t about to complain, this was the most entertainment she’d had in days. The tiny inmate asked for her name, but she wasn’t gonna give it up that easily. She was gonna make her work for it.
“Are you even old enough to be in here, kid?”
Rachel:
“I’m not a child!” Rachel said, managing to hold back the urge to stomp her foot in frustration, “I assure you I am the proper age to be here. Although I am in here wrongfully, I trust the New York justice system to place me in appropriate confinement. No matter how wrong my sentence is.”
Despite the fact that this woman was completely infuriating, there was something slightly enduring about her that made her persistent in at least finding out her name. Even if she was a criminal.
“Now I asked nicely, what is your name?” Rachel said with a frown, “You may be a criminal but you surely still have manners.”
Alex:
Alex couldn’t help the small smile that appeared. She had been so ready to dislike this girl. But the feisty brunette was making that increasingly difficult. Alex wondered who she was before…this. Before LItchfield “inmate” became her profession. No doubt some kind of performer. Drama exuded from her every pore. Alex wanted to ask her how she ended up at Litchfield, but she knew that could be a touchy subject and she didn’t want to scare off her new friend just yet.
"Well, KID, since you asked so nicely, you can call me Vause. Thats my last name, and the only one I have here at LItchfield, as far as you’re concerned."
Rachel:
Somehow managing to bite her tongue when this woman insisted on calling her “kid” again, Rachel let her arms relax at her sides. It seemed strange that people here went only by their last names. It brought back memories of high school when she was made fun of and tortured because of her drive and talent.
“Well, Vause, my name is Berry. And you can’t know my first name either,” Rachel said setting her jaw and looking the woman up and down as intimidatingly as she could. She really was quite tall. Rachel wasn’t sure if she’d be able to keep pretending to be tough with the large hight difference.
“Why are you here?” Rachel finally asked, “Just to make fun of me?”
Alex:
Well now she REALLY had to stifle a smile, and a laugh, because…Berry…that was perfect.
"Berry? Oh kid, I’m not even gonna touch that one. You might need to make up something else…"
Alex trailed off, trying desperately not to laugh. She thought she could grow to like this girl, and admittedly, she liked giving her a hard time, but she didn’t want to insult her. Too much. So Alex regained her composure and answered the kid’s question.
"And no, I didn’t come here to make fun of you…you were crying so much I thought the holding cell might flood…There’s no point you know…"
Alex trailed off, almost hitting a nerve in herself, and the last thing she wanted was to ruin the first happy diversion she’d had in days. As much as it surprised her.
Rachel:
With a frown, Rachel huffed at Vause’s comments about her last name and that smirk she had on her face.
“I don’t see what’s wrong with my name,” Rachel said as she crossed her arms over her chest.
She really didn’t. It was a perfectly good name. Easy to remember. Perfect for a star like she would soon be. She wasn’t sure what this woman was getting at with her name…but maybe she should think of something else…no. Berry was perfectly suited.
Suddenly the other woman seemed to get serious. If even for a moment. There was no point in crying? She was in prison! Of course there was a point to crying.
“I’m sorry if my tears disturbed you. But you must understand, I’m not supposed to be here. This is all just one giant mistake and…I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed.”
Rachel looked down at her bland white shoes that had been handed to her after the shower and search before looking back up at Vause. Her arms over her chest had turned more into a self hug at this point and she looked at her with still shining eyes. Prison was hard.
Alex:
Alex could tell that Berry had had enough teasing for one night, her once-again shiny eyes were evidence of that. She realized that if she were more of a hugger (and they weren’t in prison), she would have had an overwhelming urge to hug the girl and tell her that everything would be ok. She just reminded her so much of Piper. That silly, false bravado, thinly masking just how terrified she really was. And the way she tried to rationalize everything…like if she tried to apply logic to it, it would all just go away. She wasn’t supposed to be here. Right. As young and harmless as this girl looked, she still found that hard to believe.
"That’s what they all say, kid. But you know, I find that usually, if you’re in here, its because you did SOMETHING. Regardless if it’s what they got you for."
Alex wanted so badly to ask, but it wasn’t her style to swap life stories with total strangers, so she decided that she would let that one go. For now.
"Come with me, Berry. I’ll show you around your new home."
Rachel:
“I’m really not supposed to be here,” Rachel insisted with a huff, “I was put here under false circumstances. I was an innocent bystander.”
Rachel opened her mouth and almost let the rest of the story out. About Quinn and the murder and…everything. But she figured that a random woman who came up to her in prison wasn’t the best person to spill her guts to.
Vause was now asking to…show her around? That was strange. But to be fair, it seemed no one else was interested in helping her out or showing her anything. Maybe it would be helpful.
“I don’t expect to spend much time here so I assure you this isn’t my new home…but I wouldn’t mind seeing where everything is,” Rachel said wiping her eyes with her sleeve, “If you don’t mind, anyways.”
She wasn’t sure what it was about this woman, but Rachel trusted her. At least as much as a person can trust a person in prison.
Alex:
"Okay, okay, Berry. Clam down or you’ll give yourself a nosebleed. I’m sure I’ll hear the rest of that story eventually. But for now, your tour.”
Like she said, Alex was not about to get into the “sharing” with Berry right now, that was too much, too fast. And luckily for her, it seemed as if the kid didn’t want to share much more than she already had. Alex had always found it funny when new inmates refused to accept Litchfield as their home. Especially the ones with longer sentences. She wished she could impress upon them that the sooner they accepted that as a fact, the easier it would get. But honestly, she didn’t care enough to try. With most people. Berry was different. Something about this girl made her want to help her.
"The sooner you accept this place Berry, the sooner it accepts you. I wish somebody had told me that on my first day…"
Alex walked briskly to the best room in this whole godforsaken place, hoping that Berry would appreciate it like she did.
"I’m starting with the best, first, kid. If you don’t appreciate it, I don’t think we can be friends."
Alex said that last part with a wink, as she pushed open the doors to the library…
Rachel:
Rachel didn’t want to accept prison. Why would she accept prison when she wasn’t supposed to be there. Vause thought she was guilty. Like everyone else, apparently. But Rachel knew better. She wanted to stomp her foot and insist that she was innocent and explain why but…it wasn’t necessary. After all, why waste her breath when she could be gone in a few days anyways?
Jogging a little to keep up, Rachel followed behind Vause. The taller woman mentioning the ‘F’ word threw her off a little bit, but Rachel soon forgot about it when she opened the door with a flourish and revealed the library. She bounced a little on the balls of her feet with a smile.
“Do they have a Broadway section? They must, right? Why wouldn’t they?” Rachel rambled, reaching for the nearest one, “You know who would appreciate this? Quinn my girlfri-…my friend.”
Rachel looked down at the book, concentrating on it a little too hard. Were her and Quinn still…girlfriends? How did that work in prison? Was that even allowed? She didn’t know.
“So what else is there?” Rachel asked setting the book down gently and looking back up at Vause.
Alex:
Well that was just cute. Alex had to admit it to herself. This girl was spending her first night in prison, but the sight of the library (and the thought of broadway!) seemed to take her away from this place, if just for a moment.
But there it was. Alex was disappointed in herself. She could usually spot “girl trouble” from a mile away. Berry was upset about being at Litchfield, sure. Who wouldn’t be. But she’d feel a lot more comfort knowing her girlfriend still had her back. But the kid’s quick switch from “girlfriend” to “friend” when talking about some chick named Quinn told Alex all she needed to know. And she understood what that felt like. Probably more than anyone.
"I’m just gonna do us both a favor and pretend I didn’t hear what you said just now. About your, friend, Quinn.”
Alex didn’t want to open up that can of worms right now. Especially since that can looked a lot like one of her own. Instead, she decided to take Berry to the next best place at Litchfield. One of the only places an inmate could be truly alone. The chapel.
Rachel:
Rachel frowned to herself but continued to follow Vause as she took her somewhere else in the prison. Why would she ignore what she said about Quinn? People were so secretive in prison. It was like one giant don’t ask, don’t tell policy. Rachel figured she could deal with it, she wasn’t sure she wanted prison people knowing too much about her to be honest. As someone who was a natural and admitted meddler, however, it would be hard to stop from asking personal questions.
Wearing her heart on her sleeve was always something that had gotten Rachel in trouble. She figured in prison, it was definitely a downfall.
Vause led Rachel to another building entirely and they slipped inside quietly. There were a few other inmates sitting around in the…pews?
“I’m Jewish,” Rachel stated automatically, looking at the big cross that was standign in the front of the room.
Alex:
"Yea and I worship whiskey and the written word. What’s your point?"
Alex wanted Berry to see that this place was about so much more than worship, or whatever or whoever you prayed to. It was solitude. It was a little slice of freedom.
"Look, kid, this is the only place in all of Litchfield where you won’t get bombarded by prison guards. Women come here to pray, yes, but also to talk, or laugh, or just be alone. And some women use it for…other things. Regardless of how you use it, it might be a good place to start forgetting about your girl. That’s what I use it for.”
Well crap. There goes that word vomit she was famous for.
Rachel:
Other things? Rachel wondered what those other things were. Maybe that’s why the two women looking chummy in the corner were looking at her and Alex strangely. She looked away uncomfortably and looked up at the taller woman by her side. Now there was a tiny tidbit of a personal detail that perked Rachel’s ears.
“Your girl?” Rachel asked nonchalantly, rocking on her heels a little, “Is she on…the outside?”
‘The outside’. What a strange phrase. But extremely accurate. Outside of these walls and cells and…criminals. But still, there was something about Vause that was oddly comforting. Maybe it was her demeanor or the way she came to Rachel when she was crying. She made her feel oddly…protected. At least for the few short moments they had been together.
Alex:
Aha. Her girl. That stung a little because Piper wasn’t her girl anymore, was she? At least she didn’t want to be. Alex almost snapped and said something to the kid about minding her own business…but she caught herself. Partly because it was actually nice to have a friend, and partly because she’d find out eventually anyway.
"She’s not my girl anymore, which always makes it a real treat to pass her in the hallways.”
Alex said, pushing her glasses on top of her head and rubbing her eyes. She was exhausted. Piper had exhausted her.
"Be thankful that yours is on the outside, Berry…"
Rachel:
Something passed over Vause’s face after Rachel asked about this mysterious woman who seemed to have broken the other woman’s heard. For a second, Rachel recoiled at a particular look in Vause’s eyes that she recalled from seeing in high school every time the popular girl decided to tell her off. But soon the look was gone, and Vause just looked tired. So tired.
Rachel looked down at her feet, shuffling them a little and forcing a small smile.
“She’s actually…not on the outside,” Rachel said quietly. No. Quinn was very much on the inside, dragging Rachel along with her. And it appeared Vause was in the same sort of predicament.
“I’m sorry that your…ex is on the inside…here,” Rachel continued softly, “I know how hard that is. And I haven’t even been here for more than a day yet.”
Alex:
“Your girl is in here, too?”
Alex hadn’t meant to ask that out loud, but her head was spinning as the similarities to her and Berry started to mount. How could her ex be in here too, unless she got here at the same time? Or before…like Alex. And the kid was so adamant about her innocence,
Alex couldn’t help but wonder if this Quinn was the reason Berry was in here in the first place. She began walking towards the cafeteria, hoping for a little distraction.
"Don’t worry about me and my love life, kid. We’ve got bigger fish to fry. Literally. We’re gonna head to the kitchen, and its very important that you make a good impression there."
Alex tried to be nonchalant, but the mix of curiosity at Berry’s situation, and the regret from her own was eating her alive. She barely realized she has started slowing down, until she was completely stopped, and turned to face Berry.
"What happened? How did you end up here?"
Rachel:
“She is,” Rachel sighed, following Vause as she walked. Rachel wasn’t sure how much information the other woman wanted, really. After all, it seemed like people didn’t really talk about why they were here to people. Vause especially seemed uninterested in her personal story. So Rachel held her tongue and just listened to her play off her own problems and start talking about the kitchen.
She had to make a good impression in the kitchen? That was strange. Rachel hoped she was never asked to cook because last time she truly tried she ended up setting something on fire.
Not noticing Vause had slowed to a stop, Rachel ran into her, squeaking a little in surprise before looking up at her. Now Vause was asking the personal questions. Finally. Someone to vent to.
“Well,” Rachel began dramatically, “I’m here for being an ‘accessory to murder’.” Rachel rolled her eyes and used air quotes before continuing, “My girlfr-…Quinn decided it would be a good idea to murder some guy she had a problem with. I really don’t even know the whole story there. One day she asked me to pick up rat poison when I was at the store which I did. But I didn’t know she was going to murder someone with it! We live in New York! How am I supposed to know that my girlfriend was capable of murder and had the gall to ask me to pick up the murder weapon?”
Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and felt tears welling up in her eyes so she tried to keep them away. She didn’t want to cry on this woman twice within minutes of knowing her. “Now I’m here. I shouldn’t be but I am. This is going to set my career back for who knows how long. And I was just gaining traction!”
Alex:
Alex didn’t know whether to laugh, or to pity, or to just be impressed by this girl. She was in prison as an accessory to MURDER, and yet she was worried about her burgeoning career. Alex had been right. Definitely something related to the dramatic arts. Emphasis on the dramatic. However, where she felt like this might be a turn off to some (and possibly would have been to her at one point), Alex found this endearing about the kid. Somehow she felt this need to protect her, as she suddenly got the feeling that prison would eat Berry alive if she weren’t careful. Which brought her back to the situation at hand. Accessory to murder. Well that just sucked any way you looked at it. But Alex wasn’t gonna show that to the kid, the last thing Berry needed was her pity.
"Accessory to murder with rat poison, huh? Granted I haven’t been in here that long, but that’s a new one for me. What is that, about three years?"
Alex turned around and kept walking towards the kitchens. She was keeping it chill, for Berry, the last thing the girl needed was to think her sentence (or crime) where more serious than others. But truthfully, most of the girls she knew in here were in for drugs or assault charges. Murder was a different ballpark. And then there was the Quinn of it all, the girl who’s fault it was that Berry was in here. Well Alex felt an immediate connection to this girl for that, but it wasn’t one she was proud to have.
"Your ex sounds like a piece of work, Berry. You have no idea why she killed the guy? Seems like something she should probably have clued you in on…"
Rachel:
"Three years," Rachel sighed before quickly adding, "In theory. I didn’t actually do anything. My fathers are going to make sure I get out of here in less than a week. I have an important audition in a month and I need plenty of time to prepare."
Rachel nodded with determination and continued to follow Vause to some unknown part of the kitchen. Her first reaction was to defend Quinn, but then she remembered she was mad at her. Plus, the things Vause was saying wasn’t completely untrue…
Quinn was…interesting. And could be seen as “a piece of work” to people who didn’t understand her that well. Quinn’s complexity was something that Rachel had always loved about her. She was dark and mysterious in a way and Rachel had to admit…it was a bit of a turn on for her. So, yes, in a sense Quinn could be seen as a piece of work.
And don’t even get her started on the whole murder thing. Yes. Quinn should have at least told her why she was murdering this guy! Rachel told Quinn when she was thinking of going blonde, how was this any different?? They confided in everything. At least Rachel thought they did. Now she didn’t know if she really knew Quinn at all.
"Tell me about it," Rachel huffed, "I don’t even know if we’re together anymore. I don’t even know if I want to be with her."
The admission shocked even Rachel who hadn’t outwardly thought those words. Even if they were lurking in the back of her mind. She once thought Quinn was her one and only but…could she be that anymore?
Alex:
Alex’s normal reaction to such staggering denial would be laughter. She was just laugh in your face, no shame or remorse. She couldn’t help it. She usually had very little patience for people in general, especially the ignorant or delusional. But she had no desire to laugh now, not when the kid acted so confident…she could tell she was hanging on to that belief so strongly, and her spirit was hanging on by a thread. Alex couldn’t be the one to crush it.
"Audition, huh? I knew you couldn’t be this dramatic for nothing. What is it- commercials? Film? Porn?"
She threw in that last one already knowing full well that Berry would never do porn, and simply to see the look on her face. And to hopefully distract her from her impending sentence. However Alex knew there was no getting around the elephant in the room now. A big, lying, probably full of attitude (if this Quinn was anything like her), elephant. And Berry had no idea WHY she was an accessory to murder. That might actually play in her favor, but Alex doubted it. She’d seen too many criminals walk, when innocent girls stayed.
Alex tried to make it seem like she never needed anyone, but the truth was, she needed comfort just as much as the next criminal. And if she was being honest with herself, she needed Piper. And something about her automatic “kindred spirits” connection with Quinn was telling her that Berry shouldn’t write her off just yet….even though Alex had no intentions of befriending, or even being nice to Quinn (what can she say, she was feeling particularly protective), there was a part of her that wanted Berry to give her a shot. For both of them.
Alex stopped outside the kitchen doors and faced Berry. She would rather continue this conversation than face Red at the moment anyway.
"Well there’s only one way to find that out, Berry…but if you want my two cents? I say don’t give up on your girl. There are two sides to every story. At least wait until you hear hers."
Rachel:
Rachel sputtered a little bit when Alex asked if she was in porn. Porn? Rachel Berry? In porn?
“I most certainly am not in porn!” Rachel squealed, crossing her arms over her chest and feeling suddenly violated, “I’m on Broadway! Well…off…off Broadway…for now.”
No one had ever said that achieving your dreams was easy. A lot of blood and sweat and tears went into Rachel working on her dream. She wouldn’t let all that work do to waste now. Even though there was this small hiccup called prison.
They stopped just short of two doors with some…interesting odors coming out of it. So naturally Rachel assumed it was the kitchen. Rachel wondered how Vause went from not seeming to want to know anything about her to giving her relationship advice. What was it her business if she gave Quinn a second chance.
“I didn’t give up on her,” Rachel said softly, “she pushed me away.”
Rachel had asked Quinn why she had done what she did. And still, nothing. She knew better than to bug Quinn about something that she clearly didn’t want to share.
“You seem to know a lot about this kind of thing,” Rachel said trying to shake these feelings away from her, “What do you know? What about your girl?”
Alex:
Alex didn't even bother stifling her laugh, that was totally worth it.
"You sure? I hear there's a lot of money in porn..." She trailed off, unable to continue through her laughter.
But then Berry got serious, and it wiped the smile off of Alex's face. When she brought up Quinn, it was like a dark cloud passed over her, and Alex could see how much this whole situation was affecting her. No amount of false bravado could hide it.
Alex balked at the kid's directness. She just went straight for the heart of it...she was asking about Piper. Had Berry even met Piper yet? Alex hoped not. She wanted one thing in this place to not be a constant reminder of her once-again broken heart. Where should she start. Maybe at the beginning? How much did she want to tell the kid, and how much did Berry really want to hear it? Looks like Red was gonna have to wait.
"Well, since you asked...the first thing you should know is that I used to work for an international drug cartel. The second thing is that I recruited the girl I loved into it. And the third thing...."
Alex almost didn't want to finish. Saying all of this out loud...it felt different. Nobody ever talked like this at Litchfield.
"She's in here with me because I got caught. And I bought her down with me. So it looks like your girl and I have something in common, huh?"
