Not celebrating occasions traditionally has become a norm for our family ever since. When I was 15, I thought it was better than having myself being surrounded by a lot of people, and I hated the level of sweetness of the cake that we would normally get as kids. But now, it's not like my preferences have changed; it's just that it has become more contradictory. I'm starting to like the idea of having a cake with a lighted candle on top (that's what makes a birthday a BIRTHDAY). I may not be fond of extravagant celebrations, but I would like to have the people I like celebrate it with me, the excitement of opening gifts, the foods, and the blissful enjoyment during the celebration. But since I can't afford all that now, I still don't want to let a special day pass without doing something remarkable, and now that I know I won't be getting anything before this day ends, and I don't have anyone to celebrate it with, The adrenaline only grows stronger as I approach my twentieth birthday. The actual day of my big day. Now that I don't have anything specific to look forward to, the feeling of simply getting another year in my life, saying goodbye to being a teenager, beginning my adulting journey, and entering my 20s is deeper and more overwhelming, with emotions of immense pleasure, happiness, and challenge. When I think of something to relate it to, I think of how becoming blind sharpens a person's other senses.
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