Jude

(description)

[maidthings]

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

[fagcrisis]

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

[maryoliveoil]

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

[scramratz]

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

[scoes]

Grace is one of the most classic things to fall from

[scoes]

That and the monkey barrrsssss

[neenarchive]

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

[neenarchive]

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

[elektrashocktherapy]

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

[roisheep]

[bogleech]

[vetchtibbles]

[ciqqy]

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

[ciqqy]

[pangur-and-grim]

a core part of being on tumblr is watching the site kick itself in the dick

[tub-blog]

It Begins

And the ultimate bloging begins

[capnsoapy]

It Ends

And the ultimate bloging ends

[vintagecomputer]

It Resumes

And the ultimate bloging resumes

[modmad]

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

things to say after fucking up egregiously

pack it up boys we've made a social blunder

let's run that again

one more time normal style

I'm going to become a statistic

further proof god is out to get me

it's because I tore my acl senior year

I couldn't do it for religious reasons

my ex took my talent in the divorce

good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)

[cheaphalloweencostume]

“but if i tell Friend/Family/Partner about my needs instead of being a silently beleaguered doormat, they won’t want to be around me anymore!” that’s called the trash taking itself out and it’s the kinder but slightly less fun alternative to hitting them with sticks and rocks

[fairycosmos]

for about a month in the early 2010s people used to say things like climate change is real and gay people deserve rights. does anyone remember this

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[tincansamurai]

if you put a bunch of vaseline on your chest and then you eat some chips shirtless you can experience something gross and disgusting

[haze-of-absence]

"I just wanna be spoiled so bad" <- girl that proceeds to describe having access to necesities and having her most basic needs met as luxurious and the desire for that as greedy and punishment worthy