Encouraging a Feedee is a lot more than telling them to eat!
A lot of people don’t take the time to understand that encouragement isn’t always about telling someone to eat. So, let’s expand on what encouragement means, so that we can be better Feeders, Encouragers or Mutual Gainers.
Remind them it’s okay to want to be fat and being fat doesn’t make them a bad person.
Tell them that they are beautiful or handsome with their new weight and that it suits them.
Reassure them that it’s great that they want to work towards their dream body.
Communicate that it’s okay if they decide that they’re happy with the weight they’ve gained or they need to lose weight. Remind them that their bodily autonomy is important and it’s their choice.
Praise their increased appetite and tell them that their passion for food is wholesome.
Congratulating them for sticking to their daily calorie goals.
Tell them that it’s alright to take a rest when they’re stuffed and they don’t need to push themselves 100% of the time.
When they tell you they aren’t feeling too good, have the empathy to reassure that it’s okay to have a relaxed day.
If they have done a good job at stuffing and overeating, aftercare is important. Encouragement isn’t only verbal, ask if they want to have their belly rubbed or if they would like to be cuddled. See if there’s anything you can do to ease their discomfort. Is there a movie you can watch together? Maybe some music would go well with bloated snuggles?
Notice their softness and brighten their day by saying that you appreciate how cuddly they are / have become.
Reassure them by telling them that their gain is beautiful at any size and that all bodies gain differently. Show them the things you’ve noticed and love about their growing body.
And if they’re a guy, hype them up by saying the moobs they’re developing look wonderful and really suit them.
Tell them that their double chin is beautiful.
When their clothes are getting too small, inspire them by telling them their belly popping out under their shirt is cute.
If you’ve noticed that their confidence improve as they become happier in their body, make sure you let them know.
Have some empathy and reassure them by explaining that it’s okay to feel anxious about judgement and that you’ll stand by them in judgmental situations.
You’re their partner in this, have the time for them to discuss their anxieties and fears around gaining weight or being fat.
If they break furniture, laugh it off and say that it’s understandable that some furniture is too flimsy and it’s time to buy some new furniture that better supports their size.
As their body expands, tell them that you don’t mind helping them reach places they can’t when taking care of their body. Offer to tie their shoe laces and start getting things for them. Allow them to rest, remember it takes a lot of energy to maneuver bigger bodies.
If you’re moving too fast, remember your Feedee’s size. Take steps to make them feel like they aren’t a burden with reduced mobility and tell them that you don’t mind taking things slower.
Remember that their body is their own and not yours to dictate.
And most importantly, always tell them that you love and admire them. Make them feel beautiful and welcome.
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