Endings
It all ends Sunday.
I have pretty much not eaten any pasta for a couple weeks and it's been banned from the house. I am going to try and go this weekend one last time, though.
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@enendlessening
Endings
It all ends Sunday.
I have pretty much not eaten any pasta for a couple weeks and it's been banned from the house. I am going to try and go this weekend one last time, though.
Ew, Gross
Ok, so today something new happened.
The bloke at the table next to me ordered soup with his pasta. He got half wedding soup, half chicken gnocchi. That was pretty gross.
Then he poured his soup monstrosity into the pasta he'd ordered (cavatappi with mushroom alfredo), and mixed it all together.
This was gross enough I almost tried to surreptitiously take a picture of it for you all. I didn't, as it's hard to point a camera (even as a phone) at someone without them suspecting what's happening.
Pointless?
So -- one trip to Olive Garden is much the same as any other trip. My frequency is lower now, as I've already "gotten my money's worth" out of this thing... But, yeah.
Is there anything anyone wants to hear from me about this experience? Questions or concerns?
Pasta Wasteland
No OG all through the weekend.
Will probably eat it for breakfast tomorrow, though.
Completeness
On Thursday I ate some pasta.
Yesterday I did not. Today I had fish for breakfast at Eat N Park.
Summary of Past Pastas
So, it turns out -- until something odd happens I don't want to completely bore you with my en-pasta-ing in it's basic ways. Just prior to this post was a pile of pictures.
Here's the summary since we last left our intrepid hero:
Thursday: Lunch on the way to work, 2 carry outs at different stores on the way home. (That's 3 different uses in one day. I may one day go as high as 50, but I really don't know what that would do to you, so let's just start with what we have.)
Friday lunch, Saturday dinner with Abbie and Mat (with my first actual sit-down reorder. One bowl of pasta is usually plenty coupled with breadsticks and soup and/or salad), Sunday dinner with Mat and my other friends, Monday lunch, today carry out lunch.
Here's what I've learned about various pasta choices in the Endless Pasta Bowl...
The spaghetti, the cavatappi, and the angel hair are probably exactly the same pasta, different shapes. The penne might be, too. But the prior 3 forms are usually a bit mushy and don't add much. The penne has a texture to it, but that might just be because of it's shape -- a mechanical engineering benefit, perhaps. The linguine is a different pasta, and generally better than all of them -- but I like the sauce-catching ability of the penne so I've ordered it more. The whole wheat linguine tastes like whole wheat pasta. I'm not a fan, in general.
The sauces are all decent enough. The traditional marinara is the weakest choice and quite watery. The meat sauce is the same, but with meat in it. I don't like either choice because they don't cling well to the pasta and the coverage is poor. I realize "real Italian" sauces are generally pretty watery like this, but I do have a relatively Americanized palette. The alfredo is pretty good -- overly salty, but I mean, this is Olive Garden, what do you want? My favorite is definitely the five cheese marinara. It solves the watery issue by the addition of cheeses. This gives it a much thicker, paste-like consistency, which works very well with the penne.
The meatballs are really kind of bad. They're mealy, soft, and overcooked. You can definitely tell they're more grain than actual meat. Popcorn shrimp are exactly what you'd expect, and the fried chicken strips are only barely passable. The real star, and what I've ordered half a dozen times already are the italian sausage. Not only do you get a tiny bit of chicken or shrimp when you order those, in addition to them being not as good... The sausage, on the other hand; It's italian sausage -- sweet and delicious. And you get two big fat links of it. It's the way to go.
I've used my pass an average of more than once per day, and eaten OG nearly every day. I'm not sick of it yet, but I do feel like it's likely to get old before a lot longer. Too bad I'm actually using this as a groceries-savings item.
Here's the financial rundown for the 9 days so far, to the best of my memory:
$100 Pasta Pass
$5 in tips (4 visits solo eat-in)
$105 Total Cost at day 10.
10 bowls total * 9.99
7 Coke drinks * 2.59
2 Shrimp Topper * 4.49
2 Chicken Topper * 3.99
6 Italian Sausage Topper * 2.99
$152.93 Total Retail Value at day 10.
Something like 39 days to go.
Pasta Through the Ages
Nested Infinities
I forget at this point whether I warned you all that this blog is about more than just pasta!
Wednesday night I skipped all pasta that day... (Because I didn't have the car all day, until dinner.) And then for dinner I went to Endless Fondue! A week or so ago, my friend asked if I wanted an early birthday dinner because of this promo. This is when I decided a lot more was going on for this blog. Plans for an infinite shrimp visit to another infamous Darden holding exist, and if TGIFridays still has never ending appetizers by the time I want another nested punishment I'll be heading there for one of those, too. I know my blog isn't as good as the one about cheese sticks, but I'm doing my best over here. The hatred will probably enter in later posts, when the idea of pasta alone is loathsome to me.
So, yeah. Between the two of us we had two cheese fondues (one swiss and one cheddar), and a salad, we each reordered 5 single order entree items along with doubling our veggies, and did two chocolates to end (mint chocolate chip and turtle). So, yes -- we each ate a full meal that is intended for 2-3 people. I literally couldn't breathe deeply without mild pain. It was delicious and worth every minute. Our parking ticket was literally 1 minute shy of 3 hours, so we did manage to save 3 bucks on parking coincidentally.
It was definitely a punishing meal.
Wholesome, Like Frank Sinatra
Oh! I forgot a point about my second visit. I was heading out to work directly after this visit, so I hit up the bathroom, I'll spare you the details on that -- but something happened in the stall.
Laying on top of the toilet paper dispenser was a pamphlet! It wasn't a Chick tract, just a hastily photocopied screed of bible verses about love and being saved, and a couple paragraphs about how I was going to hell unless I was a member of the true Church. They didn't outline what the correct answer was and I'm not educated enough to know whose tactic this is specifically -- but it was a born again advertisement, that much was clear.
I guess I'm going to hell since they weren't clear in their call to action.
Clever Title
On Tuesday I had my second Endless Pasta Bowl experience. I was in and out in about half an hour having gone alone.
Nothing all that tremendous. Had salad with fettuccine alfredo with the fried popcorn shrimp: "shrimp fritta" as they call it in the OG. The fettuccine was much better than the cavatappi. Much better. There was a texture to it, and even some flavor. I don't think I'll order the cavatappi again this whole experiment. The shrimp added a nice enough element, too. I could eat this on purpose, and would consider even paying for it full price.
If it's not clear above -- the toppings item has been cleared up. As mentioned; I called the customer service line and they obviously handed down the law to this store. I'll be getting some sort of protein added to each of my pastas going forward.
Oh -- and at this single location, so far, the hostess said that another 7 people with passes have been through. So I'm guessing a few dozen people in Pittsburgh overall have passes. I've had one person on Reddit respond to my post looking for pasta buddies... Hoping that fans out. It'll certainly make for better reading.
In which I was educated about Devil's Traps
So, Supernatural isn't a thing I follow. I've seen a few episodes and it seems pretty good in a broadcast television sort of way. But my girlfriend would certainly list it as one of her fandoms. So when I was looking at a map of our local Olive Garden locations I noted they were basically arranged in a circle around us. She immediately exclaimed "Let me see! Is it a Devil's Trap?!"
Turns out the center of this particular Devil's Trap is pretty much Lawrenceville. That's where all of the Pittsburgh hipsters are known to live and congregate, in general. Draw whichever conclusions you may from this information.
I guess it's also possible Olive Garden is a demonic influence, or something -- but I'm too lazy to write that blog. It would involve looking at other cities and drawing way more pentagrams than I have time for. I'm busy eating a lot of pasta for the next couple weeks.
John Oliver downright LOVES the OG
Link below (embedding disabled, sorry).
John Oliver talked about the Endless Pasta Bowl and the Endless Pasta Pass. He seems to think my 7 weeks of unending carbs might not be the best of experiences.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJxnAR8Vs0I
First Posta!
The title's a pun.
Wordplay; Comedy gold.
I had my first of many bowls of pasta last night. I joined some friends, went to the OG, and hit a couple snags.
Snag 1: The card seems really iffy on actual function. My waitress had to disappear with it multiple times, once was before we pay our bill... For, like, 8 minutes. That sounds short, but at the end of your meal after you've already gotten the bill, but before you are actually allowed to pay for it -- that's a long time. Especially with grumpy sleepy children, which some friends had brought along for the First Pasta.
Snag 2: The manager and location told me I couldn't have toppings on my pasta. Just the noodles and sauce. Even if that were the case, I'd survive and probably be ok. The soup and salad preceding the actual course are always good. The manager was mistaken. I called customer service this morning after they opened to make sure what I had read in the fine print wasn't wrong. It wasn't. The CSR I spoke with took down the info and was going to make sure that location gets a reeducation on what my pass permits me. She sounded more annoyed about this than I did. I'm just glad I'll be able to get meatballs and stuff.
Snag 3 (You might have seen this one coming): The one combo I tried was kind of gross. I had the cavatappi and traditional marinara. I've honestly made better pasta myself with canned sauce. I kind of did this on purpose, though -- I got the plainest most basic thing I could, so I could establish a minimum baseline experience. It wasn't heartening.
High points: Free soda for everyone at my table. Soups are good. I didn't have the salad, but I like it and will have it in future visits. Friends along with me. Overall it was positive.
My first meal, for completion's sake, was a few breadsticks, a bowl of the Italian Wedding Soup (A Pittsburgh market exclusive, I've been told. It's a Polish dish.), a bowl of the chicken gnocchi soup, and a serving of cavatappi with traditional marinara. Don't get the cavatappi with traditional marinara unless you're 7.
Here's some pictures!
Once the avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote.
The band has tuned and the piper piped. We're all dressed up in our Sunday best, and all sorts of other stuff.
I, in traditional me fashion have not done any of that superfluous "work" that I mentioned about calling corporate, media, or reaching out to others. I might over the weekend, though. Of course I'll keep you posted!
Here's the money shot, so far:
Down a Rabbit Hole
So I'm planning to do this thing proper. I'm preparing in whatever ways seem socially responsible and personally beneficial.
Yesterday I called and spoke with the manager of the nearest OG to me and asked him about their busiest times and to introduce myself as we'll probably see a lot of each other in the upcoming months. I asked about busy times and he said the lunch rush is 11:30-1:30ish and dinner is 4:30-7:00ish. I'm going to do my best to avoid those periods as best I can -- for my own comfort, the store's convenience, and most importantly the waitperson's best interest. I want to try and not take up a table where they're going to be able to turn over a much better tip. I'm usually a pretty decent tipper and lay out anywhere from 15 to 25% depending on service and the overall tab. I mean -- if you want to talk about my younger days there were exceptional meals where my table tipped a 10 on three coffees, or a time where our waiter was in a great mood and removed about $45 worth of appetizers on a bill that was only about $90-100 so we tipped him the full price of everything he gave us for free... But those have been special stories. I digress. I'm going to have to, for my own financial well being, be a stingy tipper. I apologize in advance to any it will impact, but laying out for tips on a twenty-fold increase in my dining out habits just isn't going to be sustainable. I appreciate everything my waitstaff does for me and do my best to be a great person to them, but this is an extended period where I'm going to have to go all Mr. Pink on things.
I also called OG Customer Service. I purchase this plastic card of infinite carbs on the 8th. I used their site's tracking page and it said I was still "processing". The CS Rep emailed me back by end of day to tell me I should definitely receive my pass before the promo starts. We'll see.
I plan to contact local media, perhaps OG corporate to see if they'll throw any swag or support my way, and anyone else that might increase how interesting this little experiment ends up going for me. Any suggestions?
Smaller Infinities
Hello daring reader!
I am a purchaser, owner, and holder of one of 1000 Never Ending Pasta Passes from Olive Garden. This blog will largely be about my experience with this promotion during the September 22 - November 9 2014 period. I live in Pittsburgh, PA and am actively looking for Pasta Pass buddies to join me for a meal! If you are a pass holder yourself, I'd love to coordinate our efforts. If you aren't you can still join me and get a free drink.
I'm a bit of an oddball in that I really rather respect marketing and don't outright loathe our consumerist culture, even though I'm intelligent and well read. I largely think it's a consumer's own responsibility to protect themselves against companies that might step over the line every now and again. Caveat emptor!
I've looked at the fine print and reading things carefully. I paid the original retail price of $100 for my pass and this means I'll need to dine with the Devil at least 11 times to recoup my cost at retail. At a rough estimate of 3 dollars per meal at home I'll need to gorge on pasta 34 times to have saved money on groceries. I think this is doable during the 7 week time frame.
Some bonuses, too! I don't just get the basic floor model of the pasta bowl, either. The fine print on OG's website specifically stated that add-ons are fair game, so I'll be getting my share of protein too. I believe I'm entitled to soup or salad, too -- as OG's FAQ specifies you get them when you order carry out, too! Which also specifies I can get carry out. Reaching 34 already seems easy.
I've enabled my ask at the bottom right of the screen and encourage you all to interact with me in this truly Sisyphean task I'm about to undertake.
Six days until I stare into the blackness. What looks back will be documented here.