Shit my ISTP boyfriend says (part one)
"If you haven't been in a fight by the time you're in high school, you're automatically a bitch. I broke a kids arm when I was in seventh grade."
"Mama didn't raise no bitch."
"Full send."
"I NEED TO GET BIGGER. I NEED TO BE BUILT."
"I'm not a human."
"I'm just telling the truth."
Him: "I feel nothing. I have no feelings. I-"
Me: "I love you"
Him: "I love you too 🥺🤍"
Him: *looking through pictures on my phone* omg so beautiful, gorgeous
Me: 🥰
Him: your grandpa's truck is literally so amazing omg it's beautiful
"I pushed my car to the maximum speed today."
"I like to flirt with death."
"Who tf is he?"
"I literally hate everyone."
"THIS PERSON IN FRONT OF ME IS LITERALLY GOING TWO MILES UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT HURRY THE FUCK UP"
*something ridiculously offensive*
"I have literally two friends."
"Beta."
"You're adorable."
"Do you know how to _____? No? That's okay, I'll teach you."
*falls asleep at inconvenient times*
"Don't apologize for having feelings, that's my job."