How to Survive the holidays with dysfunctional relatives.
Holidays are stressful on their own. There is no need for them to be worse. So here, in advance, are some tips for improving your holiday experience.
* can be for either category.
For those in charge of planning festivities;
*Enlist other family members in helping you plan a smoother holiday experience. It is highly probable that you are not the sole individual suffering some form of discontentment with the state of familial affairs. Having a buddy system in place with work to reduce anxiety, as well as will provide back up in a troublesome situation.
Assign projects to difficult relatives. If, for example, one relative is either a picky eater, or is known to be typically hypercritical of the menu, ask them to bring a signature dish of their own. It will serve the dual purpose of: Making them feel special, & providing an outlet to steer them away from criticism.
*Invite outside guests. Occasionally it becomes necessary for there to be some sort of buffer. If a relative is known to behave better with an outside audience, having once will reduce your own stress. This can also act just like #1, as well. Friends are good support system in lieu of family.
Take alcoholic beverages off the menu. In the event of problem drinkers, often it is best to avoid the issue entirely & remove alcohol from the situation in order to prevent upset. Let your family & guests know ahead of time; those who cannot stand to be without will remove themselves.
Be proactive in assigning seating. Enlist younger relatives to make seat nametags. Other relatives will be less likely to move if they have handcrafted things to admire. Seat troublemakers apart, next to you & your conspirators so that, in the event of upset, you may take control of the situation.
Provide escape routes. This is especially useful for the introverts, or the easily intimidated. As an alternative to football, have another movie playing in another, quieter, room. Ask for help in the kitchen. Another alternative is keep a puzzle, or a board game, on hand - set it up on a table in a corner away from those having conversations. Arrange an after-dinner walk.
For those less in charge;
Avoid the problematic relatives. Surround yourself with the most positive people in the room. If this is not an option, find a way to keep yourself busy. It’s unwise to confront someone on tension-causing topics when they are wielding a several pound turkey, or a carving knife, after all.
Laugh of criticism, or address it beforehand, if possible. As this likely isn’t the first (or last) time you’ve heard particular criticisms from even these particular relatives, remember that the comment says more about them than about you.
Introduce the conversation game as an alternative to potentially frustrating or argumentative small talk.
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