Valerie

Plural queer mystery (they/them) | Transfem | Minors dni

[dailydivergent]

There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

You're doing your best.

[foxpawbz]

wear cat ear headbands. go shopping at a pet store. sleep in a dog bed. run on all fours. roll around in the grass. get fang-shaped dental implants. growl and hiss at people. wear a collar. file your nails into claws. get species-affirming tattoos and piercings. eat your food out of a pet bowl. purr when you're happy. be truly yourself, no matter what.

GET MORE NONHUMAN NOW !!!!!!

[mikumiotics]

It really cannot be overstated how transmisogyny just horribly warps every aspect of an individual trans woman's transition. Before, during, and long after, transmisogynist rhetoric is worming it's way into our brains and influencing how we go about our actualization.

If a doll manages to muddle through the vast, dark ocean of garbage that keeps her from realizing her trans womanhood, she then has to navigate the barrage of bullshit that people constantly, relentlessly hurl at trans women.

'how to be a proper (trans) woman' 'male socialization' 'welcome to womanhood' twerf nonsense, transmeds, 'troons' and a million other bullshit things people make up to give form to their disgust. It's truly impossible to disentangle a lifetime of transmisogynistic programming from actually existing as a trans woman! It's difficult now to actually even write this post without getting in the weeds via abstraction and metaphor!

Do I want bottom surgery or do I feel an 'obligation' to the cissies to get rid of my dick? Do I want to wear makeup because I want to or because 'it's what women are supposed to do' ? Do I want to be submissive and/or a bottom in the bedroom because it's what 'women are made for' ? Keep in mind, I am wrestling with these questions after I just escaped the horrible torment of being a closeted repressed egg for my entire life. The cisnormative society I'm in wants nothing more than for me to just 'go back to being a man' or to simply lay down and die while I'm trying to unlearn all the transmisogyny they've pumped into me since birth!

[terraswallows]

Girls with Deep Voices Appreciation Post

I just adore y'all. There's something so incredibly comforting about a girl with a deep voice. To me it sounds like a cat purring, it's warm, soothing, and the kind of thing that gives me happy little shivers every time I hear it.

Keep talking, queens. Your voices are beautiful, they deserve to be heard, and I promise there are plenty of us out here absolutely melting over them.

[imstillalexcomic]

This comic came directly from something I said to my therapist this week.

I'm Still Alex - Webtoon | Tapas | Linktree | Patreon

While I’ve largely been going full “eff it, I’m leaning into being visibly trans”, I have the benefit of living in an area and working with people that are generally super supportive, so I’ve got it easier than most and the decision isn’t as hard to make.

Some of the venues I’ll find myself in less frequently however, I admit I get antsy about my presentation.

It’s bizarre, there was literally someone at an event once that told me they read my comics and were really proud and supportive of me while also telling me that they voted for people that are not only directly harming trans people, but that they said they were going to harm trans people and other marginalized communities.

Now, I was working and in a position where causing a scene wouldn’t be a great idea.  So I had to stand there, smile, and say “aww thank you for your support” to someone who pulled their political lever to take away my right to exist.

The cognitive dissonance of this person to say that to me.  To say that you love me and support me, to call me “brave”, while when it comes to actually doing something practical, they actively are participating in stripping me of my rights.

And then I have to stand there, take it, and to smile.

While I’m speaking about one experience in particular, it isn’t the only one.  This has happened multiple times and I imagine it will continue to happen.

So I guess at this point, I may as well just be visible even when it might jeopardize my safety.  I’ll always be my professional self and I’ll shy away from causing friction, but I’m trans and I shouldn’t be afraid to openly be so.

[sourpineappless]

putting everyone in time out until they can stop responding to increasingly transmisogynistic public bathroom laws with "and this is extra bad because it will impact cis women who don't fit traditional standards of femininity too!!"

[maxine302]

This rebrand is gonna be the one for the ages

I came up with this when I was basically functioning on very bad sleep deprivation and jet lag

And yesi I can draw protogens, dont ask me how lol

[enigmaticvalerie]

sesbian lex

[frontmansdog]

mentally taking a drag of my mental cigarette because I don’t smoke but life has been very smokable lately

[enigmaticvalerie]

Our evil alter does this. Never smoked (tobacco, at least), never will, but it still helps for some reason

[noze2222]

Something that pisses me off royally is when people talk about the "hypervisibility" of transfems like it's a gift. A privilege that I shouldn't take for granted.

Y'know, I'm actually not very grateful for the fact that a big account can call a random woman a rapist with no evidence and get hundreds of thousands of likes for it.

I'm actually not going to say thank you because the biggest news publication in the world frequently puts out articles debating the ethics of me and my sisters existing in public.

I think a lot of people see the visibility of trans women as like being on a stage with an adoring crowd where we can wax poetic about our struggles. In actuality it's more like being plopped in the middle of a colosseum arena, surrounded by an audience ecstatically watching you get mauled by a lion.

We might be able to squeak out a "please help" while the fangs sink deeper but the reaction that elicits is normally a chuckle.

[closet-keys]

the struggle for bodily autonomy over sexed characteristics would be a lot stronger if cis women did not exceptionalize their own healthcare needs as fundamentally different and more important than trans people's.

cis women's fight is part of our larger fight, but too many do not want to make these connections. a cis woman will fight for the right to abortion, hormonal birth control, labor protections against discrimination for pregnancy, etc. as entirely disconnected struggles from access to other gendered surgeries, hormonal treatments, and labor protections against gendered discrimination. but they are not disconnected.

this perceived separation between these struggles is only in one direction. for example, the disparity between the percent of trans people who openly defend the right of cis girls accessing abortion at any age without needing parental consent (almost all of us) and the percent of cis women who defend the right of trans kids accessing transition care at any age without needing parental consent is stark. and that is very depressing to me.

whenever I draw obvious parallels, I get notes from cis women telling me how disgusting it is to compare our healthcare to theirs. they tell me in a variety of ways that their politically controversial gendered healthcare needs are obviously legitimate, unlike ours.

but all of our healthcare is getting criminalized and dismantled. you talk to a reactionary and they do not believe your healthcare is a legitimate need either. they also say cis women who get abortions are selfish, sex-obsessed, and a danger to children. this is the same fight and too many cis women refuse to acknowledge it.

whenever I see posts talking about defending pregnant women (not people, but women) the notes are full of transphobic cis women. I saw one the other day where a USian in the notes was saying "this is why women become republicans, because at least the right respects pregnant women." do they? how is that alliance going?

I want cis women to understand that the struggle for bodily autonomy over sexed characteristics is one struggle. insisting on this rhetorical distinction between us is a reactionary move. it calls people with regressive gender politics to your side even if you do not intend for that to happen. it reproduces the conditions that are currently stripping you of your rights, too.

what would it take for you to accept the solidarity trans people are already extending to you? what would it take for you to actually hold solidarity with us?

[theartofmadeline]

happy pride! this dragon is gay <3

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

I think the reason why so many struggling people balk at "it gets better" is because of how often that statement plays a role in dismissal instead of being followed by actual support. "It gets better!!! (so we don't actually have to do anything to tangibly help you improve your current situation)"

[noze2222]

Something that I realised when I first started getting more into transfeminism that really made it click for me is that even when people say "trans women are women", they rarely actually mean that. Even a lot of trans women don't fully believe it when they say it, even if they don't realise.

We're still expected to act like a third gender. Sure you fall more into the group of "woman" than the average born male but a lot of the time there's still an implicit understanding that you are to not push too hard on being a real woman. If you talk about the misogyny you face, the ways you enjoy engaging with womanhood, or start happily taking up space, people will often get weirded out. They'll look at you funny, or they may verbalise disgust. A trans woman might be a woman, but it gets awkward when it becomes apparent that the woman in question genuinely believes it to be true and doesn't just want to be humoured.

I fell into this trap for a long time. I would feel uncomfortable even calling myself a woman sincerely because it felt like I was doing something wrong. I was encroaching. I was pushing my luck with what was acceptable for a pseudo-woman to do. If you are a trans woman who feels like this, like you're a separate category of person than just a plain woman, you have to realise something. If your joy makes people disgusted or uncomfortable, that's their problem. Make them uncomfortable, make them squirm (assuming it's physically safe of course). You owe these people nothing. You are a woman, full stop. Embracing that fact without shame or asterisks does wonders for your self esteem.

[tankie-transfeminist]

This is transfeminism!

[knighthearts]

happy pride month for it/its users, polyamorous people, xenogenders, non-transitioning trans people, and other "weird" identities. btw

[tgirl-tamag0tchi]

I am the kitchen sink fantasy of tumblr blogs.

You just get all my brain’s bullshit.

[enigmaticvalerie]

Adding "kitchen sink fantasy" to my vocabulary

[tgirl-tamag0tchi]

It comes from the phrase “everything but the kitchen sink”. Basically means a setting where ALL fantastical and mythological stuff exists in some form or another. It’s got EVERYTHING.

[enigmaticvalerie]

Ahhh, I see. We always struggle with sayings and can't help but take it literally lol

[tgirl-tamag0tchi]

I am the kitchen sink fantasy of tumblr blogs.

You just get all my brain’s bullshit.

[enigmaticvalerie]

Adding "kitchen sink fantasy" to my vocabulary