You are no larger, no more meaningful, than a dust bunny. Fear knifes up your throat, stinging all the way. For a second, you mistake it as bile.
Your fingers gnarl tightly around the apron that sits shapelessly over your body, which wants to leave. —your body, which is always trying to leave. —your body, which revolts against living. —your body, which [ . . . ]
The person to whom the voice belongs is quiet so as not to startle you, but you're startled anyway. You jolt up like someone had stuck pins in your shoes again.
You're prepared for the worst before you've even turned around. Whoever has found you is going to tease you, chide you, and drag you by the ear to Natsuhi who is going to — -
When you pivot around on your heel, you're surprised to find that the person standing in the doorframe is ██████. Their eyes are placid and untroubled like bathwater. They have no look on their face at all.
You aren't comforted to see them.
The only thing you know about ██████ is that you don't know them very well. You suppose that you don't know anyone very well, but this person is different. They don't speak to you very much, let alone to anyone at all. Sometimes, they stare at nothing at all. You wonder if they, like you, see glimpses of a greater realm.
You swallow a dry pocket of air and wring your fingers. It takes you a bit to decide how you should respond. Should you tell them that your key has gone missing? You're afraid they'll only tell the others, who will only tell Natsuhi, who will only — - - -
“ M - My key. ” Your mouth tells the truth before you can stop it, but you don't say anything more.
from birth you were unwanted. isn’t that what they always said ? unwanted, but still theirs. unneeded, but still theirs. you are theirs. everything is theirs. so, who among you have yet to learn this lesson ?
their arrival was not serendipitous. you know this. they know this. we all have always known this. unremarkable in a crowd, hundreds of faces blank and hungry. it reminds you of everything you have been taught to forget. you ought to leave now, before you’re dragged down, before you remember
the lack is to compensate for the excess. too much, they are reminded. everyone is reminded. too severe. too intense. laugh less. smile more. do both, and it’s still wrong. it’s useless. it’s useless. you’re useless.
the key they procure comes out of thin air; a trick once learned from someone none too remarkable and frankly lost to time. two nimble fingers pinch the bowed head. it’s simple yet elegant, lusters faintly in the dusty sunlight, and has an almost bell-like quality to its appearance. it seems well polished. it’s still the same key every servant is issued.
and without much room for any discussion at all, they toss it. ❛ here. ❜
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