I suck at uni bc Iâm a stupid perfectionist, who cannot hand anything in on time - how to deal with it đ
I read all the books, I have all the facts, I can answer all the questions, but also I KEEP FUCK MY LIFE UP - hereâs why, and how Iâm trying to change it.
I have recently come to understand, that perfectionism is my core problem. Perfectionism doesnât mean that I do everything perfect. It means I am afraid of facing the amount of failure that it is necessary to experience, before anything I make turns out just ok - not even good.Â
Perfectionism doesnât mean working hard until you achieve a good or perfect result. It means not being able to do anything, bc you are paralysed by how much your first try at something sucks. You (I) feel like this suckyness is a sign that I will never be able to do anything okay, and feel overwhelmed by shame bc Iâm so bad. I try to hide it from everyone else, by pretending that I have my shit together, while actually having a series of panicky break-downs. Some call it âperfectionism paralysisâ :)
Bad ways of dealing with perfectionism paralysis
consuming content. Makes me feel in control. I keep repeating:Â âthe reason I canât write about x, is bc I donât know enough. So I just need to read more, then the words will come themselvesâ. This is a lie, that is keeping me safe from the shame and fear of facing my suckyness. Lack of knowledge is not the problem. I need to challenges the fear. I need to get out of my comfort zone, and start sucking irl.
scheduling out the entire process. It is not a problem of scheduling. It is a mental barrier that I have to break down. So stop scheduling, and continuously failing to live up to it. Scheduling makes me feel in control, it is my comfort zone. I need to spend the time I spend scheduling, sitting down and being with the uncomforting feelings I experience while actually working.
laying on the floor, feeling like u will suck 4ever. Itâs dumb, so get up. Of course u will not suck forever, but u have to suck for a while, and thatâs okay. Get up and start sucking. Nothing good will come from lying there, and you know you will feel much better as soon as u get up. Lying there feeling bad, is also kind of a comfort-zone. Face the fear.
going for long walks, while trying to âprepareâ for facing your work. This is like with scheduling - pretty stupid <3 The problem is not that you need to think more, need to âprepareâ yourself more. The work u need to do is in the process, not before it has begun. So SIT DOWN and start feeling weird. I promise you will get better, but it will happen slowly. And thatâs okay.
Good ways of dealing with perfectionism paralysis
create - donât consume. It is a problem in your brain. You are constantly blocking yourself from doing what you want. What you need to learn is not more info, but how to stay in the process of making stuff that sucks. So any time u feel like consuming and staying in your comfort-zone, try creating instead. Write a blog post, write a song, make a meme, and try to be okay with how mediocre your product is. Stay with the uncomfort.
not deleting social media posts. you need to learn that itâs okay to suck. everyone sucks, and you need to suck to become better. âFail betterâ as Brecht says. Not deleting SM posts, and trying to work through the fact that it is okay that they suck, is a small way of dealing with your perfectionism. Just look at them, and think: yeah, I can do that better. BUT DONâT DELET IT. no one is going to judge you but yourself. If anyone comments, just say âyeah, youâre right. itâs bad :)âÂ
actively changing your thinking. manifest it. say it aloud to your self:
âstart sucking - u have to suck to get betterâ
âsucking now does not mean you will never be good, it means you are on your way to sucking lessâ
âyou are not stupid, you are just bad at handling your big ego.â
âPRACTICE makes perfect - is not a joke, itâs a lifestyle bbyâ
create a tumblr to rant about your problems. itâs very therapeutic.
tell your friends. tell them that youâre not okay. tell them that you donât have it all figured out. try to explain the feelings of shame and guilt to them. They will quickly see that your fears are all in your brain, and that you need to start accepting failure. they will say stuff like:Â âfailing doesnât define you my friend, not working with it defines you, and keeps holding u back.â
Itâs tough and painful but U WILL BE OKAY. I BELIEVE IN YOU. start sucking <3











