in my eosinopheels

just a gal screaming out into the void about applying to medical school and working in medicine

[eosinopheels]

also, sometimes my mom laments when she realizes i will be around 30 by the time i graduate medical school and start residency. little did she know that had i gone with my original plan to go to grad school for speech pathology, i was planning on going to whichever school gave me the most scholarship money, working for a year, and then going for a post-bacc to fulfill my premed requirements and go to med school anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ i truly would have ended up in med school one way or another

[eosinopheels]

Haven’t updated in a bit. My MCAT score came back, and I cried on my way home from work in relief. I finally got a score that I felt proud of and that reflected the work that I put into studying.

Now I tackle the task of fixing my personal statement, primary application, and my secondary essays. I am intimidated as heck and I know college applications were less stressful than this, but I don’t remember how I managed to navigate through the college application process on my own. Now that I have to go through another application cycle, I feel wholly unprepared (even though this time around, it’s for medical school.) Maybe I should consider this a beast in itself.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[cranquis]

co-signed.

[eosinopheels]

When I think about the doctor who inspired me to become a doctor, my pediatrician, I always think about how what I admired about her the most was her kindness. Her heart. Her compassion. How much she cared for me and my sister and my family. I didn’t care for her MCAT score, or even know what that was at the time. And even though her diploma was always hanging in her office, I had no idea anything about “prestige” of medical school programs and whether hers was a “good” school or not. All I knew was that she was kind and that she always made me feel better.

Regardless of how this MCAT score comes out today, I will be okay.

[eosinopheels]

Third time’s the charm (maybe)

Here I am again, post-MCAT. Yes, I took it three times, but that’s another post for another day (when I don’t have to wake up in 5 hours for a 12-hour shift.) For anyone wondering, that feeling of not knowing how you did and feeling that you know nothing never really goes away. I am still working on not hinging my self-worth to a test score, but it’s quite hard to do when entering a field where you seem to be reduced to your test scores. It’s my hope that when I apply later this year that one school out there somewhere will see me for more than just a three digit number.

But three is my lucky number. So I am holding out hope that this time can be different.

[eosinopheels]

*taps mic* is this thing on?

I thought it would be appropriate that if I decided to make a blog to document my medical school journey that it should be hosted on tumblr, since this is the website that as a junior in high school I stumbled upon medblr and fell into the idea of maybe one day becoming a doctor. I know this website has seen better days and that people have moved on to better blog-hosting websites, but this feels like home. The days of me stalking medical students and residents was 7-8 years ago, and I’m sure by now those medical students are now residents and attendings. Crazy. And now here I am, almost two years post-undergrad, ready to take the mcat for a third time tomorrow and I am slightly terrified. I feel more prepared than I ever have, yet there’s still that bit of uncertainty of knowing that anything could be thrown on that test in any variety of ways. All I can do is trust myself and hope for the best.