The Reckoners

David’s bad at metaphors but we’re wonderful at quotes

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What is every character's Starbucks order

David: A venti caramel frappuccino with extra sugar. Megan: A nitrobrew, but if David orders, he adds three packets of sugar. Tia: A London Fog latte. Prof: He doesn't know how to order, so Tia just grabs him a dark brew. He complains they paid $15 for something they could make at home. She always sees him taking advantage of the creamers and pouring in ten of them. Abraham: An actual dark roast, that's it. Cody: Plays up the Scottish aspect, annoyed he can't have a "haggis-flavored" frappe. Ends up ordering a java chip frappuccino. Val: Doesn't drink it, gets her own coffee. Exel: Always on the seasonal drinks. September first hits he's got a PSL in each hand. Mizzy: Hot chocolate!! Plain and sweet like her. Larcener: Steals the others' drinks

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Prof: Reading can be sexy.

Tia: Maybe naked.

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Omg, thank you so much! I have no problem with spam liking I'm so glad you like my blog :D

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Prof: Reading can be sexy.

Tia: Maybe naked.

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Waiter: Hello, welcome to Applebee's! What would you like to order? Abraham: I'll take the apple. Waiter: We don't actually sell apples Abraham, visibly frightened: Ok then. *gulps* I'll have the bees

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Mizzy: Well, remember when Exel made a romantic dinner for me? Roy: Mizzy, he microwaved you a pizza.

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Megan: People treat me like a god. Tia: What? How? Megan: They ignore my existence until they need something from me

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Val: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time? Prof: AS ENEMIES?! Val: ....

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Prof: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

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Megan: Yum, thanks! Kidnapper: *puts more tape over their mouth* I said stop eating it.

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David: I'm having a moral quandary, and I could really use your help.

Cody: Oh, moral quandaries. I hate those! Shoot.

David: You're the least moral person I know. How do you live with yourself?

Cody: I'm about to shut this door in your face.

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Tia, watching Prof conquer Ildithia: Well, at least he’s using his powers for…something.

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Prof: By trying to help, I actually accelerated your demise... Let's never be parents.

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David: You're a marmotita. David: Mmm, titas in mouth....

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David, narrating: I can’t be expected to pump out metaphors and similes, like some…simile-making thing.

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During Calamity

Cody, filming himself: Hi, I’m Cody, chronically single, I’m a Gemini, and I like long duels on the beach.

David, walking in: Cody?!

Cody: *drops his mobile*: Wha- sorry- what are we doing again?

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Prof, holding out a cookie for Tia: Look! This one's a heart, that’s how I feel about you! Tia: *Ugly crying* Prof, holding out another cookie for Exel: This one's like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! Exel, throwing their hands in the air: What does that mean?!