preperations for the long journey ahead, friend

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@equivalentexchangebitch
preperations for the long journey ahead, friend
Okay, so I was reading ch. 64 of Saturation, written by the fantastic @greentrickster , and Miles starts comparing himself, Trucy and Phoenix to celestial bodies. Phoenix is the sun, Trucy is the moon, and Miles is the stars. So, as I was reading this, my hand slipped and-
(SCREAMS INTO THE VOID LOUD ENOUGH TO SHATTER IT) THIS IS SO CUTE!!!!! Thank-you so much for tagging me, AHHHHHH, their li'l expressions, the stylized celestial bodies, the little touches of colour with how their blushes are the same colour as their symbols, I LOVE IT ALL SO MUCH!!! So cute! So darling! (opens mouth to start screaming again-)
(gets handed a restraining order from the still-shattered void)
-ahem, I also just think they’re neat! ;)
(seriously, thank-you so much!)
I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!!
Me, every time I read this fic:
I LOVE it, I adore getting fan art, and this is SO CUTE, MY HEART!!! Thank-you so much! <3 <3 <3
@equivalentexchangebitch #It just hit me even the colours fit! #Blue for Trucy because she no longer has a salmon cloak but a blue one #and for her scarves of course #Grey for Miles because of his hair+eyes+how his vision dims when his mental health takes a dip #And yellow for Phoenix for that golden-yellow cravat/tie Miles got him for when he’s a legal aid in Europe #It fits!!!
8O!!!!! OMG, YOU’RE RIGHT, I DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF THAT, BRILLIANT!!!!
Seriously though, modern fandom, y’all need to remember that you can, like, ship multiple ships.
Like I can ship two ships that are diametrically opposed, at the same time, because I like both ideas. You don’t have to choose one or the other.
Like I can ship, for example, Sam/Frodo, and also Sam/Rosie, both AT THE SAME TIME. I don’t have to pick ONE couple and denounce all others, and tell everyone else that their ships are WRONG and BAD and mine is the only TRUE AND CORRECT ship.
Related: You don’t have to sink other ships to sail yours.
Exactly! You can have more than one ship. You can have an ARMADA!!!
Ship everything and ship it so hard you end up sideways in the Suez.
the 'will people feed you' discourse rn is very funny and hopefully a wake up call to some of the rude freaks scattered out there across europe, but I do want to note that the cultures we're talking about are cultures of the affluent. literally everywhere I have visited, working class people share food as a matter of course. everywhere I have visited, working class people push drinks and snacks on you the moment you walk in the door. there's a layer to this conversation that only exists among people who have the choice to be miserly and unaffected by their neighbours behaving the same way.
the first time I experienced being completely shut out of another family's mealtime, it was when I was a teenager on an exchange trip to the netherlands. I was staying with this family, and literally reliant on them for food and housing. The day I arrived they explained to me what time mealtimes were, and that I would not be fed unless I arrived at the table on time. One morning I was running a little behind because I had trouble figuring out how the shower worked, and when I came downstairs my hosts were already eating. They hadn't set a place for me, and they all ignored me and continued conversing in dutch. When I timidly tried to serve myself, they gave me look as if I had just walked in off the street and started raiding the refrigerator. They were an intimidatingly affluent family.
one morning the mother had to drop me off early at my work placement, before the building opened. I was sitting outside on a wall for like 50 minutes by myself with nothing to do, and an older lady running a food cart nearby started chatting to me (she wanted to know I was okay, because I was like 15 and not in school, and was very interested to hear that I was on exchange from scotland). she offered me a free breakfast, and when I said I'd already eaten she gave me a drink and a packet of crisps to keep for lunch, and kept trying to make me try fried things that were apparently dutch specialities but were way too much for me at 8am. she was very sweet and funny, and had infinitely more in common with the poorer dutch students who I would meet at a separate pan-european thing later than with any of the kids or parents around the upper middle class academy we were paired with that year. people are people everywhere, some are just more inclined to worry about appearances than others.
There’s a sort of, “do for yourself and I’ll do for myself” that unnerved me about learning to navigate upper-class friendships and homes. After thinking about it for years, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s ultimately about maintaining independence and avoiding the class shame of appearing to need others — but the effects manifest as a bizarre standoffishness, an artificial separation of “yours” and “mine”. The class standards they impose on themselves, are imposed on guests.
I was initially baffled that, for instance, family members or friends who come to visit you are often expected to stay in a hotel or at an AirBNB, not at your house. “But you have a whole-ass house”, I would think. “Or floors. And blankets. Lots of things. You can put them in your beds and sleep on the floor, if they don’t want the couch.” Often, they would have guest bedrooms, but these bedrooms were not offered to most visitors. So, you’ve literally got an EMPTY BEDROOM FOR GUESTS, but no?? You expect them to house themSELVES? Elsewhere?? On THEIR dollar? That’s so expensive! Also, to my mind, frankly rude!
I also noticed that my wealthier friends never pick up groceries for each other. They never call or text each other like, “yo, I’m at X, do you need anything”. I think they would risk confusion at best and deep offense at worst, if one of them got a wild hair up their ass and tried it. It’s too personal, implies some degree of inter-reliance.
It makes relationships look and feel artificially constrained.
This is all completely accurate to my experience too. I think a major cultural absence in wealthier social circles is the concept of ongoing reciprocity / gifting relationships. For me, and for more or less everyone I've ever met who grew up poor, it is a normal and natural gesture of closeness to offer resources when you have them and to accept resources when you need them. It's a way of saying that you trust somebody - either you trust them to have your back when you need it, or you trust them to care for you without ulterior motives. I'm talking about small costs, grocery money, meals here and there, maybe a movie ticket if everyone is going and one person can't stretch to afford it this month. Nobody keeps track of the expenses, you just remember who you have built those relationships with, and you share in return when you get the opportunity.
Larger costs tend to be more difficult, and that's because often it's impossible to be sure that you will ever be able to adequately reciprocate. As a teenager I had one friend in particular who was much more wealthy than the rest of us, and he was a wonderfully kind, warm hearted, generous person who would often offer to pay for entire outings or trips on his own so that the rest of us could participate. And it was really, really awkward, because what was a small gesture in his eyes was something that the poorest of us knew we could never pay back. He might not have cared about keeping track of the cost, but we would never be able to forget it, and that would upset the balance of the reciprocal relationship. I don't think he ever really understood why we would turn him down, it's nearly impossible to explain what a strong instinct it is when you have grown up with that dance culturally ingrained in you.
All of that is to say that I think my friend's behaviour ultimately comes from the same background as the people who go through the world hoarding their resources. When you have never been in a position to need a strong relationship that afforded you emergency childcare or a meal of pizza and beans once in a while over, idk, a ski trip once a year, you can't understand why big sporadic gifts are turned down. You can't understand why your poor friends keep insisting on paying for their own gas or trying to do you favours you can easily afford yourself. You can't understand why kids expect to eat dinner with you (because their families would feed your kids, if they ever needed it, and your kids will never need it).
I also noticed that my wealthier friends never pick up groceries for each other. They never call or text each other like, “yo, I’m at X, do you need anything”.
Why did I not realize this until now
my "friend group" had a HUGE falling-out last semester, literally friendship-ending level stuff, because a couple of us would routinely ask if we could tag along to the grocery store when someone else was going there, or to get a ride to the pharmacy ~5min away from campus. There was so much going on but somehow this was the last straw.
Asking to carpool was being seen as unspeakably rude entitlement and I could not for the life of me understand why until I saw this post
don't go to an expensive private college on abnormally high scholarships, kids. "You're being given a practically unheard of amount of scholarship money" = "You will be the poorest person at this school."
a new concept: idiot academia
where u have book smarts but have absolutely no common sense
Have you ever worked in a lab because you’re just describing perfectly normal academia
@dotsandfoxes
Artificers
Trust me. This hurts me more than it hurts you.
And then I stayed up until midnight and read it anyway
WHY DID I ONLY RECENTLY LEARN ABOUT THE SALT LICK TEST?!?!
I swear, learning how to easily tell if you are deficient in salt has been Groundbreaking in learning how to care for my body.
For the uninitiated, if you feel dizzy or weirdly tired, or you cant seem to hydrate properly, no matter how much water you drink, you may easily be lacking salt.
Yes salt! The thing everyone tells you to try and minimize as much as possible. You are likely not getting enough, and there is an easy way to test it:
Go into you kitchen and grab some plain salt, flaky or fine preferably, since rough salt has less surface area, but it still works, just slower.
Grab a pinch of it and just drop it on your tongue, and let it dissolve on it. What does it taste like? This is just salt. Does it taste kinda mild? Slightly savoury even and actually quite good? Could you easily go for another pinch, just for the taste? You probably should, cause that's your body telling you i Wants More Salt, it Neeeds it!
Do that a couple times over the next few hours, letting your body adjust in the meantime, until it suddenly tastes Too Salty. The same amount of salt, suddenlt tasting quite different, too salty, unpleasant, bad. Thats a sign that you no longer need more salt.
For me it took like two days from barely tasting the salt, to feeling much better and suddenly not wanting more salt.
This has recently helped me so much, why was i not taught this super simple but useful way to check in with my bodily needs?
Signs of low salt can also include nausea, headache, and muscle weakness. Seizures can also happen, but being aware these other symptoms can be signs of low salt and taking corrective action makes that less likely to happen. Also, over-hydrating yourself can cause low salt, but were going into summer so stay hydrated, but eat salt!
Reduced salt levels was the first side-effect they warned me off with my new meds. Its not something you want to fuck around and find out about.
#salt is good and we need it to live#this whole fatphobic eat clean healthy living as a cult mentality has fucked with us a bit I think#we’re afraid to eat things we need to actually stay alive
Fucking THIS!!!!!!
This is super important in hot weather. If you’re sweating a lot you’re depleting your salts, and it can happen a lot faster than you realize, especially if you’re not used to that level of heat. (And who is these days?)
Another warning sign is when you drink a sports drink and it suddenly *doesn’t* have that very slightly brackish edge to it. If you can’t taste the salt, and it just tastes sweet, you need the salt right now.
i love girls with no ‘maternal warmth’. girls who are affectionate in awkward ways. girls who are not ‘caregivers’ so much as care needers. girls who mean well but come across as assholes. girls who don’t mean well. girls who cry a lot but it isn’t ‘cute’ it’s just annoying. girls who aren’t always the most beautiful one in the room. girls who are obnoxious. girls who kind of suck but u can’t help but love them bc they really are just trying,
It’s 2008. I’m in O'Hare (Chicago airport) around Christmas time, absolutely tired from a 36+ hours of travel from Lithuania. My flight to North Dakota has just been cancelled by a region-wide snowstorm. My cell phone and credit cards aren’t working because I haven’t called to have them turned back on/authorized for the US. I’m so tired and a little delirious, and coming down with a cold. I just want to get home and see my family. I shuffle into the line for the airline to see what can be done about my flight, but the line is long and I am already defeated. Tears leak from my eyes intermittently from tiredness, helplessness, and self pity.
A business woman in the line turns around. She introduces herself, frowning a little because this is so against whatever code she lives her life by. She explains she’s a pharmaceutical exec from New Jersey and that she is visiting some distant relative in North Dakota, and was on the same (now cancelled) flight as me. She hands me an apple and protein bar and says something like ‘I have no maternal instinct. I do not have children and I do not want them. But you are so clearly out of your depth here I feel compelled to help you in some way.’ She helps me book a room in the airport hotel and trusts I will pay her back when I get home (which I do). She pays for a meal we have together, in which she mostly talks about how she climbed the ladder at her corporate job.
The whole incident now seems like a fever dream because I truly was sleep deprived and loony. This woman emphasized many times how she was not a caretaker, she was not a warm person. Indeed she was not gregarious or solicitous. But she also very very much was deeply kind to me, much to her own surprise I think. 0 percent maternal, but my extreme patheticness really drew out something she didn’t know was in her.
I hope she has continued to have a great child-free life.
Okay, so I was reading ch. 64 of Saturation, written by the fantastic @greentrickster , and Miles starts comparing himself, Trucy and Phoenix to celestial bodies. Phoenix is the sun, Trucy is the moon, and Miles is the stars. So, as I was reading this, my hand slipped and-
(SCREAMS INTO THE VOID LOUD ENOUGH TO SHATTER IT) THIS IS SO CUTE!!!!! Thank-you so much for tagging me, AHHHHHH, their li'l expressions, the stylized celestial bodies, the little touches of colour with how their blushes are the same colour as their symbols, I LOVE IT ALL SO MUCH!!! So cute! So darling! (opens mouth to start screaming again-)
(gets handed a restraining order from the still-shattered void)
-ahem, I also just think they're neat! ;)
(seriously, thank-you so much!)
I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!!
Me, every time I read this fic:
Okay, so I was reading ch. 64 of Saturation, written by the fantastic @greentrickster , and Miles starts comparing himself, Trucy and Phoenix to celestial bodies. Phoenix is the sun, Trucy is the moon, and Miles is the stars. So, as I was reading this, my hand slipped and-
When you’re a college student and can’t afford therapy so you read ao3 fics instead
This post entered my house and smashed a ceiling tile over my head
Me: I want a partner, someone who loves me for me
My brain: you know you need to go out and meet new people in order to do that? Right?
Me: never mind, change of plans, not doing that
I should start a separate blog just for posting about therapy and my issues
Maybe
Yes?
Idk, will see
So, I did
Whoever saw said posts previous to me deleting them, no you didn’t
What is writing but free... whatever the opposite of therapy is
it's weird how when a child screams they don't feel loved at home and don't feel safe around their family, the first thing that a parent might do is list the number of things they have done for their child instead of asking themselves what made their child feel that way. parents aren't supposed to be strict and feared. when a child walks into this world, they are naive and parents are supposed to be the home and safe space the child looks for when they need help or when things get messed up instead of going "my parents will kill me for this". by engraving your fear into your child's mind, you are just making sure that they to lie to you. i don't know what kind of cruelty we are forcing onto generations by making them fear their own parents. how would they learn love when they never knew what it is? and in a world so cruel and unkind, love is the most important thing we need. not fear.
Parents scare the hell out of their children and then have the audacity to ask "why you put your friends on such a pedestal". well maybe because they taught me love and maybe you should learn how to parent. you can begin from going to therapy and getting your traumas and misconceptions resolved.
I should start a separate blog just for posting about therapy and my issues
Maybe
Yes?
Idk, will see
If I disappear for a year from tumblr, it’s not because I’m dead
It’s just because I’m tired and thus ghosting everything remotely tiring