; you’ve heard countless stories of how your parents met, and of the vivid dreams that brought the two of them together. still, once you begin to have soulmate dreams of your own, it’s hard to enjoy getting to know your supposed other half when your best friend occupies your thoughts instead (and when your soulmate doesn’t remember these shared dreams ever happening).
PAIRING yang jungwon x gn!reader
GENRE soulmate au but not really, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff + angst
WARNINGS semi-graphic desc. of injury, knives, derealization?, mc has a father and a mother i’m sorry for heteronormativity ㅠㅠ, mentions of food, swimming in the ocean, calculus…, rly dramatic for ltrly no reason
WORD COUNT 21.7k
LISTEN Can’t We Just Leave the Monster Alive? by TOMORROW X TOGETHER. MIST and INCEPTION by ATEEZ. Butterfly by BTS. Lovers’ Oath by Yu-Peng Chen, HOYO-MIX (i imagine this playing in the background in the mountains).
note i think this fic holds a special place in my heart as the first really long, plot-focused thing i’ve written. it was a very long process, especially since writing coincided with my final exams, but thank u for being patient with me and i hope it was worth the wait! + a huge huge huge thank you to @enhyphoria, @moonsluvr, @yyunari, & @jungwonize for being my beta(reader)s and helping me to edit this fic!! i love and appreciate u all so much <3
+ as always, please reblog if you enjoy, since it helps a lot with tumblr’s algorithm! any and all feedback is also very appreciated!
I. WAKING FROM A FAMILIAR DREAM
IT BEGINS IN THE MOUNTAINS.
Your eyes flutter open, then immediately narrow as they’re met with a flash of almost painfully bright light. A hand moves quickly to shade your face, and through the gaps in your fingers, you see hints of the bright, golden sky.
You feel the cool, slightly damp touch of morning dew against the back of your neck and the prickle of wild grass caressing your arms, so lucid that you almost believe you’d been kidnapped and brought to the middle of some natural reserve as you slept.
synopsis: That's it, you were done crying over your good for nothing ex! You were done wallowing in self-pity for the embarrassment your ex put your through. Now you want revenge, and what’s more perfect than aiming at his pride and shattering it once and for all? Enter your best friend Park Jongseong (affectionately dubbed as Jay) who was the perfect candidate for carrying out your revenge plan. After all, it's one way to piss off your ex with the guy he absolutely loathed.
includes: college au (not really mentioned though), friends to lovers, fake dating and ungodly amounts of fluff (crack-ish?)
warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol, kind of underage-drinking, light angst, excessive (?) use of pet-names (babe, princess), a little suggestive at some points but nothing too risque and cheating (not Jay)
word count: a whopping 8k (im so sorry)
a/n: the title is misleading yes. basically I listened to ariana grande's song "break your heart right back" and got inspiration from one line in it lmfao
You sniffle for what probably was the hundredth time today, finding solace in the thick duvet that’s currently cocooning your body and the mountain of pillows you decided to pile behind to give you the needed support in your binge-watching endeavors.
The reason for your constant sniffling from the result of your almost never-ending tears was simple really: your ex-boyfriend cheated on you, and has been for the past three months, as he confirmed with no traces of remorse while his side-chick hung onto his arm with a sickly sweet smile as if she had done nothing wrong. It took every ounce of patience you had in you to not jump the girl in broad daylight.
Then again, you would never stoop that low.
Your own morals and values would never let you solve anything with violence—well, unless the situation calls for it, but with the whole cheating situation (in public no less), you settled on being firm, holding back the tears that threatened to spill from your glistening eyes as you called things off with the good-for-nothing, poor excuse of a man.
A week had already passed since that shitshow and still, it hurt like a bitch and it seems that the weather decided to sympathize with you just this once.
The pitter-patter of the rain melded with the sounds coming from your TV that is currently playing one of those cliché k-dramas you thought to watch instead of wallowing in self-pity. Though it seems that it’s only making you bitter as each second passed, as it’s currently showing the lovey-dovey couple being sickeningly sweet that it honestly made you want to vomit.
Grimacing, you threw a crumpled tissue towards the direction of the TV, “disgusting.” You say with all the bitterness that has accumulated in you for the past seven hours and counting as the tissue hit the screen. Despite your palpable aversion to the romance series, you still pushed through with your marathon; anything to get your mind off the… incident.
All sense of time was lost as you continued to lay in the comfort of your bed, the cheesy romantic k-drama now replaced with a more interesting, action-packed movie that involved giant monster-fighting robots and something about its two to three potential pilots being compatible as an important detail to successfully pilot said robots.
The whole premise of it was interesting to you as you sat there absorbing every detail you could. It wasn’t a movie focused on the lowkey developing romance some would probably recognize, but more on the understanding between two individuals who were different, but also similar in a handful of ways. Maybe that’s why it didn’t work out better than you hoped with your exes, now that you think about it as they always seem to be the exact opposite of you.
However, just as you were on the cusp of taking a deeper dive into your impromptu session of self-reflection, your phone goes off with that ridiculous ringtone your best friend himself has set for his contact number.
Now, you’d usually ignore calls whenever you were in a mood, but since it was your best friend shaking up your peaceful afternoon, you answer right away.
“Jay, hi.” You softly greet with a small smile, quickly pressing pause with the remote as you lean comfortably against your pillows.
“Y/N, hey,” you take note of the muffled noises on Jay’s end; he was probably out at the moment. “You busy right now?”
You hum, gaze shifting towards the window where you can see that the rain has started to lighten, “not really? I’m at home, why?”
“Great! You wanna go out and eat somewhere? My treat!” You snort, he obviously knew how to tempt you—that, and it’s his own way of saying that he really wants to hang out with you.
But even if that was a swell bargain, you really weren’t up to doing anything right now since you were clearly still trying to get over your shitty break with your equally shitty ex. “I don’t know Jay…” you trail off, lips pursed in guilt of having to say no to Jay, of all people. “I’m… kind not feeling up to anything right now.”
“Hang on—are you okay? You sound kinda… stuffy.” He pauses for a brief moment as you wince. Trust him to figure out things that quick. “Have you been crying?”
A sigh went past your lips, looking down at your lap, “would you believe me if I said I wasn’t?”
“Nope.” He answered that too quickly. You scowl. “Change of plans, I’m coming over.”
“What? No!” You practically yell, earning a disapproving noise from Jay which is usually a tell-tale of him about to scold you. “No,” you say softly this time, “No, you really don’t have to.”
“Oh, c’mon, Y/N. I know you better than anyone else. You obviously want—no, need my company right now.” And he was firm with his statement too, but you obviously won’t admit it even if it was true.
You roll your eyes, “alright, you narcissist.” You completely ignore his onslaught of reasons why he wasn’t and that he was only being a good friend, cutting him off, “do what you want. You’ve got a key to my apartment.”
“Of course I do,” you could practically hear him roll his eyes. “It’s just as important as the keys to my bike.”
“You’re not riding your motorcycle in this weather right?” You take a quick look at the drizzling skyline, concerned, “I’d rather have you in one piece, Jay.”
Jay scoffs, “‘course not. I’m not an idiot.”
“Debatable.”
“You know what? I’m letting you off this time since you’re probably not in the mood.”
“Yeah, sorry.” This time, you laugh softly at his compliance, “stay safe, okay?”
His laugh brings a grin to your face, “anything for you. See you soon, bye!”
“Bye-bye.”
“Bye-bye, Y/N-ie~” and he hangs up before you even get the chance to make fun of his out of nowhere cuteness.
Giggling, you take a quick glance at his silly contact photo before locking your phone, “Dork.” You say with fondness as you press play, eager to resume the movie.
* * *
“What a douchebag.”
“That’s your third time saying it, but yeah, he is.”
Jay arrived at your humble abode about thirty minutes prior to you spilling everything that had happened to your week of radio silence, barging into your apartment as if he owned the place (as Jay usually would) and pointing out how you look like shit which you promptly swatted his arm for, telling him he didn’t look any better being dampened by the rain.
Another ten minutes go by and Jay had changed into a clean pair of clothes he had left behind the last time he stayed over, now the two of you are squeezed together on your bed, the same movie from before playing idly as you both talk about your shitty week.
“Oh but I really mean it this time,” Jay says with clear distaste all the while gesturing wildly to prove his point, making you snort. “He’s been seeing someone else behind your back for what—3 months? How long were you guys together again?”
You make a face upon realization while counting in your head, “6 months? More or less…”
“What the fuck…” Jay says, laughing in a mix of disbelief and anger that was mostly directed at your ex. “Half of your time with him? What an asshole.”
“Now that’s your second time saying that.”
“Never mind the technicalities!” He waves you off, “Are you okay?” He asks, now gazing at you intently as if to gauge whether you’d spit out a lie or not.
Shrugging, you sigh and rest your head against his arm, “I cried a week's worth of tears, I think I’m getting there.”
“Oh c’mere,” a yelp flies past your lips as you find yourself getting a face-full of Jay's chest and an arm thrown around your shoulders. “I told you time and time again that boys are stupid and they stink.”
You roll your eyes, melting into his embrace anyway. “Except you?” You chuckle as you throw an arm around his waist, nuzzling your cheek against his chest.
His grip around your frame tightens as he hums in confirmation, “except me. I’m a special case.” Laughter then pours from your lips, earning a chuckle in return. “Good riddance. You deserve better than your shitty ex anyways.”
“I know. You’ve told me plenty of times…” you trail off, your fingers playing with the edge of his shirt as your mind briefly wanders to the many times you’ve received his scolding in the past; whether it’d be simply for skipping a meal or for falling for the wrong person (again), you’re pretty sure you’ve endured every reason for a scolding out there—hell, he might have scolded you more than your parents ever did.
“Thanks for being here, Jay.”
He snorts softly, his fingers gently carding through your hair which instantly granted him a pleased sigh, “well, someone’s got to check whether you're alive or not,” he teases, giggling when you try to tickle him in retaliation, “but you’re welcome,” you look up right as he plants a soft peck against your temple, “anything for my best girl.” He coos, smiling down at you for a brief moment before moving his attention towards the screen.
Now you were well aware of Jay’s moments of heart-warming sweetness, similar to that moment a few seconds prior, so you were very much used to his random acts of brazen affection, but you can’t deny the small fluttering sensation you felt in your belly every time he had his moments.
You’d rather take that secret to the grave instead of admitting to it or admitting it to Jay himself.
Despite having Jay over for company, your mind is a traitorous thing that no matter how interesting the new movie your best friend picked out, you can’t help but to think about the incident that almost cost you your dignity if you had chosen a different route in confronting your cheating ex.
What the hell did the bastard have to look smug for? Humiliating you? Figuratively grabbing your heart out, throwing it to the ground and stepping on it? His other girl you’d understand because she had quite literally snatched him right under your nose. Did your ex get that much satisfaction from seeing you in distress? If only murder was legal—though you probably won’t be able to stomach it.
Good thing there were other options for you to choose from to enact your revenge on the asshole and what’s more perfect than aiming at his pride and shattering it once and for all?
“Hey Jay?”
“Yeah?”
“On a scale of 1-10, how psyched would you be if you were to do something ridiculous with me?”
His hand that was combing through your hair stills, his chest rumbling with a thoughtful hum. “depends… What do I get out of it?”
“The loving touch of a woman, maybe?”
You erupt into peals of laughter as soon as he starts sputtering and tripping over his words, trying to form a reply. You were laughing so hard in fact that you didn't even notice that he had left you in a heap on the bed, struggling to breath.
“You’re an idiot, did you know that?” Even if he did look like a disapproving parent—hands on hips, scowl and all—still, you can’t help but snicker when he lifts an eyebrow, prompting you for an explanation of your embarrassing statement.
“I’m sorry,” you finally say after your fit of giggles, “that was a joke, but I’m serious about doing something with me—now come back here...” you drag out the last word of your sentence, complete with your arms stretched towards him while you made grabby-hands.
Jay shakes his head with a heavy sigh, but relents anyway as his back meets the plush surface of your bed. “Now what’s going on through that mind of yours?”
“Be my fake boyfriend.”
And as expected, you were met with silence.
The look on Jay’s face was absolutely priceless and you would have laughed if you weren't being serious. “You’ve finally lost it.” He deadpans, sitting up-right, “You’ve actually—no, that’s a stupid plan what… No.” He snaps as soon as he catches the twitch in your lips, a sign that you were about to whine to get your way. “Is this your fucked up way of moving on?” Harsh as his question may sound, he still held that look of nonchalance, but no doubt expecting a sensible answer from you.
You wince, “okay, that does sound bad but no; I’d like to call it petty revenge.”
Jay blinks once, twice, three times before he scoffs and mutters under his breath, most likely about what crime he did in his past life to be stuck with you in this situation; though you could tell that there’s a smile threatening to break through that ‘no nonsense’ facade of his. “This is probably your stupidest idea yet. Congratulations.” He says as he claps, offering you a sarcastic smile. You scowl in return.
“Hey, no it isn’t! Listen, this is my ex’s pride we’re aiming for! Knowing him, it’d probably hurt his ego too when he sees that I’ve ‘moved on’,” Jay snorts at your air quotations, “that fast, and let’s not forget he’ll be seeing me with you. He’s always hated you for some reason.” And that was a fact that you still find funny until now.
Your recent ex wasn’t the only one who shared the same sentiments when it came to Jay; even your past exes held some sort of contempt for your best friend, which was already ridiculous in and of itself seeing Jay was honest to God one of the nicest people you’ve ever had the pleasure of befriending and not once did he even provoke any of them. You’ve always brought this up with Jay—who obviously did not care—only to get a knowing smile in return as he tells you to “not to worry about it. It’s just stupid guy stuff.”
Even with the reasoning behind your outrageous plan, Jay still held firm in his stern front which prompted you to launch into a different tactic: stroking his ego.
“C’mon! It makes sense, I mean—” here we go, “you’re handsome, a good student,” you internally roll your eyes when his lip twitched, “you can cook and—oh, let’s not forget you’re rich as all fuck, being the son of a CEO, you’re literally the walking epitome of ‘boyfriend material’! Imagine how much it’ll break him to see me with the supposedly elusive Park Jongseong!”
With pursed lips, Jay scrutinizes you with narrowed eyes, “well, when you put it like that,” and that’s when you know you’ve got him. “Keep talking and maybe I’ll consider.” Okay, maybe not.
“You’re just fishing for compliments at this point.” You say drily.
“Hey! You rarely talk about my good points, at least let me get an ego boost!”
“Didn’t I already? I called you perfect of all things.” And he does look rather pleased when you repeat the compliment, earning him another one of your eyerolls. “C’mon, it'd be fun! Then you’ll finally get to experience what it’s like!”
Jay lets out an exasperated sigh, “I’ve had plenty of experience, thank you.” He takes off his glasses to pinch his nose bridge for a few moments, probably regaining his patience for you. “But since you’re so desperate—”
You immediately protest, “no I’m not!”
He ignores you, “desperate,” he repeats, pinning you with a pointed glare. “I’ll agree with your stupid plan—but, we’re doing it on my terms.”
Your elation then slowly dwindles when he eyes you with a smirk, “okay… should I be worried?”
He scoffs, poking your side. “No. Just remember you asked for a boyfriend out of me and you’re damn well getting one.” You didn’t even have the heart to correct him.
Somehow, that sounded vaguely threatening, even if things were in your favor. You know Jay had his own stubborn streak, particularly when his determination to prove himself was driving him head-first into things. One could only hope this won’t turn out to be another shit show if he decides to go overboard. You don’t even know what to expect from someone you had little to no idea of what Jay being a boyfriend is like, considering he usually kept his love affairs private and would only tell you bits and pieces when you persisted.
So your paranoia that spiked up a few days down the line of radio silence from Jay wasn’t at all baseless. Just what was he planning for you both? You never did talk about his terms, only getting a “let me handle it” before he left your apartment the following day of his visit.
It’s when you wake up from your deep slumber, the best sleep you’ve ever had after a week of wallowing in self-pity after your nasty break up when you get a call at nine in the morning, your phone blaring with Jay’s ridiculous set ringtone.
You answer almost immediately, even if it was a struggle to open your eyes. “Where the fuck were you?”
“Good morning to you too, princess.” A hand raises up to massage your temple to quell your upcoming headache as soon as his laugh resounds front the other line. “And if you must know, I’ve been planning. Did I wake you?”
“Okay, that doesn’t bode well,” snorting at his whinging, you continue on, “and yeah, you did. It’s so early, what gives?”
“Just thought it’d be nice to tell you about our date later. Wouldn’t want to scare you.”
What.
“Hang on—a date?” That has you sitting up real quick, throwing the thick covers off of yourself in the process as you get onto your feet. “You never said anything about a date?! As a matter of fact, you never said anything!” You hissed, whipping around to look desperately at your closet, hopeful that you at least had something decent left in there to wear. “Where were you the last few days anyway?” You ask him again.
“Planning, duh? What else? If I’m going to be your boyfriend, then I have to do this right.”
You raise an eyebrow, but decide to humor him anyway, “and this... date we’re going on?”
“—Is something I thought of so we could at least know what we’re working with. If you want to get back at your ex, the least we could do is to make it believable for everyone. Wouldn’t want your awkwardness to ruin this revenge plan of yours.” Well, he wasn’t wrong. The dynamic you had with Jay was strictly platonic and you may or may have not thought about the possibility of crossing the line between platonic and romantic if you really want to put on a show.
The thought alone made your face warm. You’ve only shared hugs and occasional pecks on the forehead, temple and cheeks… what if you had to kiss Jay on the lips too? To prove to everyone (mainly your ex) that you’ve truly moved on? Oh lord.. What if you end up liking it?
“—Hellooo? Y/N? Are you still there or have you fallen asleep?”
Jay’s calls snapped you out of your stupor. “Sorry! Yes, I’m still here. I was just… uh, thinking.” You mumble, shaking your head. “So what time is our date?”
“Well, I’m picking you up, so around 1-ish? If that’s okay with you.”
“Yeah, 1 is fine. I don’t have much to do today anyway,” you say, taking a peek at the barely filled to-do list pinned to your cork board. “I’ll make sure to look extra pretty for you.” You sing-songed as a joke, poking fun at Jay’s insistence to dress to the nines whenever the opportunity arises and obviously you didn’t want to be upstaged by him.
“What do you mean? You always look pretty to me.” Jay affirms, voice taking a softer tone from what you can tell as you stood there with your mouth slightly agape, not really expecting the compliment.
“W-what—”
“Anyways, see you later. Bye-bye, Y/N-ie~” and he hangs up before you even get to speak.
You pull your phone back from your ear to stare at the screen in disbelief as his voice replays in your mind over and over again like a broken record.
You always look pretty to me.
The phone falls to the plush surface of your duvet as your hands automatically fly to your face to hide your embarrassment even if there was no one to witness it.
“Idiot.” You whine, shaking your head as you rush out of your room to get started on your day and mentally prepare yourself on what Jay has planned for you both.
* * *
True to his words, Jay arrived on the dot, pushing you into a slight panic when you received a string of messages saying he was right outside of your apartment. With one last look at yourself in the mirror, you rush to get everything you need before slamming the door close behind you, nodding to yourself when you hear the lock click in place.
“There she is!” Is the first thing you hear as soon as you step out of your apartment building. “Took you long enough. Thought I was waiting for a turtle.”
“Can you be quiet? I can’t help that it takes three minutes to use the—” You stop in your tracks, eyes widening at the sight that greets you the very moment your feet hit the pavement, “—stairs.”
There, just a few paces away, stood Jay with a helmet in your favorite color under his arm, while his own in a sleek black rested idly on the seat of his motorcycle. Of course you had already expected him to dress to the nines, but seeing him like this, waiting for you right outside of your apartment like an actual boyfriend would, dressed to the nines made something stir in your chest the longer you drink up the sight set in front of you.
Jay, noticing your sudden silence quirks up one eyebrow, “you okay?” He asks, lightly touching the one side of his head where his hair was slicked back.
You cough awkwardly, squaring your shoulders as you slowly make your way towards him, “Just peachy,” you reply with a crooked smile then shift your attention to the helmet. “I’m guessing that’s mine then?”
Jay makes a noise of realization, quickly brandishing the helmet with a proud smile. “Yeah! Made sure I got it in your favorite color too.”
Your heart flutters at his thoughtfulness, “you didn’t have to.”
“Don’t be silly. My bike is a constant presence like you are so might as well get you one when I take you to places.” He shrugs.
And your traitorous heart skips a beat, causing you to click your tongue and look off to the side, “who says I’m getting on that death trap with you?”
Jay rolls his eyes, “don’t be dramatic. Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I do but—”
“Then that’s all you need to do. C’mere,” he motions with his head for you to come closer, “I’ll put this on for you.”
You could have argued that you were more than capable of putting it on your own and it didn’t help that Jay was someone who did these acts of servitude to those he really cares for, but before you could even get a word out to decline, Jay had already lifted the helmet just a few inches above your head, a gentle smile playing along his lips.
“You may want to make sure your hair’s fixed in place before I squeeze this onto you.”
You stick your tongue out at him, but do as you’re told anyway, “I knew that.” You mumble, then let him do as he pleases.
A yelp flies past your lips when he all but shoves the helmet onto your head, pouting when you hear his muffled laughter as he continues to adjust the fit. “You could have been more gentle!”
“Now where’s the fun in that?” He tuts, smirking at you now as he lifts the visor, “‘this fit okay?”
You nod, “snug as a bug.”
Jay snorts, “nerd. Okay, I’ll adjust the straps here—“ and the rest is now lost to you when you take in his appearance.
There was no room for disappointment when it came to Jay’s looks and paired with his immaculate fashion sense, it would be a crime if one had missed the chance to ogle at your best friend who clearly stood out from everyone else and obviously you wouldn’t miss out on your chance while he was busy.
“You look really good today.” You say, eyeing the necklace around his neck in mild interest before meeting his eyes.
“Yeah?” He clicks the buckle underneath your chin in place. “You don’t look bad yourself, princess.” He muses, smirking when he catches the warmth coating your cheeks from the compliment—was that even considered as one?—before flipping the visor back down as he turned around to put on his own.
“Jerk.” You grouched.
Once the buckle to Jay’s helmet clicks into place, he swings a leg over his motorcycle, kicking up the kickstand in the process while looking at you expectantly through his visor, “you need help getting on too?”
“No!” You say a little too quickly, “I can do it on my own.” And to spite him, you make sure to dig your fingertips into his shoulders as hard as you can when using them as leverage to get on behind him. However, it doesn’t seem like he felt your little scheme, instead it was you who felt something and that something was the hard muscle underneath his well-loved leather jacket.
To make matters worse, your touch had lingered a second too long and that was enough for your mind to conjure a series of images that would have left you running for the hills in mortification if Jay had gotten the chance to peek into your brain.
“Better hold on tightly, Y/N. My shoulders are a good start, but you’ll be safer with your arms around my waist.”
You swear your cheeks might melt off from how hot they’re starting to feel, “in your dreams.” Though you quickly retract your statement and do end up migrating your hold from his shoulders to his waist when he jostled his motorbike to get comfortable as he revved it up.
You could only hope that Jay doesn’t notice how tight you were actually clinging onto him and if he does, he doesn’t acknowledge it.
* * *
“Should we hold hands or something?” You wonder aloud as Jay leads you through the aquarium he decided to bring you to today.
“Do you really have to ask that when you’re already doing it?” He says, lifting your already intertwined hands for show.
You look at your joined hands, blink and then peer up at Jay with wide eyes, “oh…”
Jay lets out a soft laugh, “I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” he smiles at you, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze, “if anything, it’s really cute.” His smile only widens when you grow even more flustered by the second.
“Shut up.”
He doesn’t listen. Instead, he pulls you along with him as he starts walking again, talking to himself as if you weren’t there. “Ah, Y/N is so cute,” he takes a quick glance at you over his shoulder, “thinking I can’t tell how much she likes being called as such—ah really.”
“Jay…” you whine, quickly falling into step with him.
“Yes, princess?”
You narrow your eyes, “you’re doing too good of a job being my fake boyfriend.”
“Yeah? I just know you too well,” he shrugs, pulling you closer by hand, “and I’ve been told I’d make a perfect boyfriend so you’re only getting what you asked me for.” He winks.
And he gives you exactly that.
He’s taken you out to more “dates” after that, whether they were carefully planned for the weekends or spontaneous after class ones during the weekdays, they were still dates that you find yourself enjoying. At least the one perk that has proven to be beneficial from this fake-dating thing was Jay coming to pick you up from your classes.
It became the norm for you to receive Jay’s early morning texts asking if you wanted him to pick you up after classes (with you saying yes every time). It became the norm for you to reason that your helmet needs to be used since it was a gift from your best friend. It became the norm for you to anticipate whatever Jay has planned for both of you to enjoy and…
It became the norm for you to feel butterflies fluttering in your chest and stomach whenever Jay gives you a smile so soft and sweet that there were times where it scared just how much you wanted to see his face light up with said smile.
You weren’t being selfish with this whole revenge against your ex right? Jay seemed to be in great spirits whenever you were together and not once did he ever complain.
Sure there were times where he did look mildly irked when you were being a little difficult for him to handle, but it would usually fade as if it wasn’t there as soon as you apologize and that at least gave you the reassurance that he wasn’t at all regretting the fake dating you both got going on.
You on the other hand, were starting to regret asking Jay of all people to be your fake boyfriend.
None of your friends knew this was just all for show. You both agreed to not let anyone else in on your whole revenge plan in case word got out to your ex that this wasn’t at all real.
(Well, it was mostly Jake and Sunoo who were the problem. They can’t for the life of them keep their mouths shut)
But to you, it felt all too real.
It felt real when Jay made sure the helmet he gave you was put on right when he picked you up every single morning to take you to school, when he made sure he was the one walking the closest to the road while having a protective arm around your shoulders as he chatted about his day with you and it absolutely felt real when he kissed your knuckles goodbye every time he took you home while you watch him drive away on his motorbike, wondering why you suddenly felt empty inside.
That realization came a few days later when you were scrolling through your camera roll, smiling and laughing at each selca you and Jay took to commemorate each date you guys have been on (yes, even the spontaneous ones) that is until your thumb tapped on the photo of you and Jay from your very first date, the one at the aquarium.
Looking at the photo, you looked happier, at ease judging by the way you smiled brightly at the camera and that was a common theme from each selca you took with Jay: you looked the happiest you have ever been, being with Jay.
And from there on out, you can’t imagine a life without him by your side.
* * *
Jay [3:34PM]: hey babe 😗
Jay [3:34PM]: u busy tonight?
You [3:35PM]: 🤨 not really why?
Jay [3:35PM]: perfect. I’ll be over at 6 we’re going to Heeseung’s party 🥳
You [3:35PM]: ,, is this another date of ours?
Jay [3:36PM]: depends on how you look at it. Ur ex is gonna be there btw 👀
You [3:36PM]: @#%$#% AND YOU KNOW THIS HOW?
Jay [3:36PM]: Sunoo duh. He’s up everybody’s business 🤣🤣
Jay [3:37PM]: anyways see you princess!
Jay [3:37PM]: oh and I have something for you too lol
You [3:38PM]: WHAT?? WHAT IS IT THIS TIME JAY IS2G
You [3:39PM]: DONT LEAVE ME ON READ WTF??? 🤬
* * *
“Oh my God, Jay you didn’t have to get me a new dress!” You exclaim as you watch the man pull the said dress from a box that looked far too luxurious to your liking. “You’re my fake boyfriend, not my sugar daddy!”
Jay gives you an unimpressed look. “Never call me that again,” He says drily as he lays the dress onto your bed. “Besides, boyfriends can still buy stuff for their significant other, right?” He raises a sharp eyebrow at you as if daring you to prove him wrong and if he notices the warmth coating your cheeks, he doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he continues to gaze at you with hawk-like eyes, foot tapping impatiently against the wooden floors with his arms folded against his chest.
“I mean, I guess but—c’mon, this must have cost you a lot or something.” You reason, “you could have just picked something out from my wardrobe…” You say while pointing to your closet that had some articles of clothing that would have tickled Jay’s fancy.
But he only shrugs, giving it a quick glance. “Sure, I could’ve done that. But I did say we’d be putting on a show tonight, yeah?” He grins, eyes twinkling with mischief and you would be lying if you didn’t find that look on him the least bit attractive. “Imagine how wounded his ego will be once he sees you in this expensive dress that I was able to buy for you—as the perfect boyfriend should.” Though Jay was at least trying his best not to sound smug, the way his chest had puffed out slightly as he stood taller was already an indication that he too would enjoy the possible outcome of this stunt.
“Okay, you got me there.” You resign, eyeing the dress with mild interest, “thanks, I guess.”
Jay beams, clapping his hands once, appearing satisfied by your gratitude. “You’re welcome, princess.” He snickers when you make a face at his newfound fixation on the ridiculous pet name, “now get ready. I’ll be waiting in the living room, okay?”
You hum in affirmation.
He smiles. “Good girl.”
“Get out.”
Jay bursts into laughter, “I’m going, I’m going!”
As soon as the door clicks shut behind him, you panic, pacing around the room all the while keeping an eye on the dress spread innocently on your bed, then you realize that you were being ridiculous about all this. Wasn’t it your idea for petty revenge? Why are you so nervous? It’s just Jay… you’re ridiculously handsome best friend who is equally ridiculous as you are for agreeing to your stupid revenge plan that has come back to bite you in the ass.
Yeah, you were definitely aware of how slow you are when it comes to your own feelings and you can only hope that if you were to admit to harboring a rapidly growing crush on him, you would hope that Jay would at least hear you out.
You leave your en-suite an hour later decked only in your bathrobe, hair and makeup already done and all that’s left is to put on the absurdly expensive dress your fake boyfriend decided to buy for you. You’ve got to admit, his reason for spending on you (again) made sense, so you’ll let his impulsivity slide just this once. Besides, you know it would be worth seeing the look on your ex’s face.
Only, there was one problem, you couldn’t for the life of you get the zipper sitting innocently on top of your tailbone to budge.
You really did try your best to pull and pull, but for a dress that was so meticulously made, it sure made your life harder than it already is.
A huff escapes your lips as you look at yourself in the mirror with disdain, hair that was once neat already mussed up from your constant fidgeting and you can see the makeup around your nose lifting from working up a sweat: all in all, you were not having a fun time, even if the dress looked gorgeous.
“Right.” You mumble, hands clutching the front of the dress for dear life as you trudge towards your door, totally ignoring your racing heart as you crack the door open to peak your head out.
“Jay?” Your voice is meek as you eye your best friend seated on an armchair with a book you had left on your coffee table in hand. His leather jacket is thrown on the back of the loveseat to expose the button-down shirt and his toned arms and as much as you want to stare at the glorious sight, the cool air brushing against your bare back snapped you out of your stupor.
It’s on the second call of his name when he looks up and he immediately snaps the books close when he meets your gaze. “Babe? What’s wrong?” He’s quick on his feet, rushing towards you with concern written all over his face.
“It’s the dress,” you mumble, an embarrassed blush rising to your cheeks, “I can’t zip it up. It’s like it’s stuck or something.”
Your cheeks warms even further when a soft laugh flies past his lips, “is that it? I thought it was an emergency.” He teases, pushing your door further open so he can make his way inside.
“It is though!” You argue, walking backwards until you stood in front of your mirror. “And I’m not gonna risk destroying this dress!”
Jay snickers, shaking his head fondly. “Alright, princess, calm down.” He says and you watch him get behind you in the mirror. “Right, I’m just gonna…” Goosebumps rise on your skin when you feel his fingers brush your neck when he moves your hair to rest on one shoulder, exposing the bare skin of your back. “Wouldn’t want that in the way, yeah?”
“Y-yeah…” You gulp, tensing when he places a hand on your waist.
“Why are you so skittish? It’s just me.” And that’s exactly the problem.
Up until your… awakening, he was just Jay, your over-the-top best friend who loved to barge into your home unannounced as if he owned the place and now looking at him through your mirror, he became Jay; your best friend who you may or may not have developed feelings for throughout weeks of him being your fake boyfriend. So no one can really blame you when your breath hitches as he starts to pull the zipper up the length of your back, his breath occasionally hitting the nape of your neck and you almost, almost gasp out loud when the blunt nail of his thumb grazes your skin.
“There we go,” Jay murmurs, voice lower than usual as both of his hands brushed down your sides to rid the dress of any wrinkles. “You look really good.”
That prompts you to look at yourself in the mirror once more, “you think so?”
“I know so.” He affirms, gently squeezing your waist.
You smile at the compliment, tilting your neck to peer up at Jay who’s already looking at you, a pleased smile playing on his lips. “Thank you.”
“I’m only telling the truth.” He shrugs, “now hurry up, we’ve got an ex to upstage.” Jay presses a quick kiss to your temple, giving your waist a last squeeze before he’s heading out of your room, leaving you to process everything that just happened with an erratically beating heart.
“Well, I’m fucked.”
* * *
The party is in full swing when you and Jay arrive at Heeseung’s home, however the host himself was nowhere to be found. At least Sunoo, Jake and Sunghoon were easy to find, albeit in different locations but still, both you and Jay managed.
You now stood close to the living area, where it became an impromptu dance floor as you and Jay each nursed a solo cup of whatever alcoholic beverage you chose as you talked—well, shouting is much more appropriate considering the music was extra loud and Jay made sure to keep an eye out for your ex too with you having to snap him out of it when he gets a little too into his ‘sentry’ duty.
It’s when you were in the middle of telling Jay about an eventful Wednesday morning does his posture stiffen, eyebrows narrowed as his eyes zeroed in on something behind you. “I see your ex.” He says, placing his hand on the small of your back to push him closer to you. “He’s with some girl.”
“Oh, shit—now?” Fuck. You almost forgot why you were here in the first place.
“Hey, calm down.” Jay says, running his hand up and down your back to placate your nerves, “now here’s what you’re gonna do: you’re going to pull me onto the dance floor, smile pretty for me and pull onto my belt loop, yeah? Then I’ll take it from there.”
You look over your shoulder, recognizing the familiar mop of hair of your ex that is also making his way to the dance floor with the same girl you caught him with then looking back at Jay with pursed lips. “Okay.”
Jay smiles, the same mischievous twinkle alight in his dark eyes, “alright. Show time.” Then you watch him tip back his head to down his drink in one go, your eyes trailing down to gaze at his adam's apple bobbing up and down. He looks at you again, licking his lips for any remnants of the drink before a smirk graces his lips. “Go on, I’ll be right behind you.” He reassures you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
The dance floor is packed, you note, the temperature increased significantly too due to the amount of bodies you had to weave your way through while pulling Jay along until you found a spot spacious enough for both of you to move freely and when you knew all eyes were on both of you, especially Jay taking his reputation into account, you set the plan in motion.
You just hope your ex was looking at the two of you.
With a sudden rush of confidence, you turn on your heel, keeping in mind to keep your movements smooth and measured as you faced Jay with that sweet and sultry smile you promised him. Your teeth sunk into the plushness of your lower lip as you did for a full effect as your finger curled around one of his belt loops to pull him into you.
Hands resting on his chest, you lean into his ear, close enough that your lips almost brush against it. “How’s that?”
Jay hums, “perfect. Never thought you had that in you if I’m being honest, so I’m pleasantly surprised.”
You pull back just to give him a cheeky grin, “guess I’m just full of surprises.”
“That you are, princess,” he says, voice low as his eyes bore into yours, “that you are—now,” you feel his hands place themselves on your hips. “Dance with me.” You didn’t need to be told twice, already swaying to the beat of the song with your hands trailing up Jay’s chest to rest behind his neck, fingers loosely playing with the hair there.
It’s lost how long exactly you spent dancing on the still crowded dance floor as your mind could only focus on the delicious smell of Jay’s perfume, how devastatingly handsome he looked in the lowlight and how incredible it made you feel when he watched you as if you were the only one worthy of his undivided attention and God you could definitely get used to that look on his face.
Your ex is long forgotten at this point. Who cares about what he thinks? What everybody thinks? You couldn’t give two fucks even if you tried, not when your senses were filled with Jay Jay Jay, and the way his arms felt around you; you could only wish this could last forever. Although, your momentary pining gets interrupted when the familiar beats of the next song sounded.
“Oh!” You exclaim when you recognize the song playing at the moment, “I love this song!”
“Yeah?” Jay chuckles, running a hand up and down your back as you began singing along.
“My baby loves me, my baby loves me—“
“I really do.”
“Yeah—wait what?”
The chance of replying to the sudden confession wasn’t part of the options anymore, not when Jay has his lips against yours with one of his hands cupping your jaw. It’s a shame you don’t get to respond however, as he already pulled back, but his hand still held your jaw. His thumb gently stroked your skin as his eyes filled with so much adoration for you and you alone looked into your widened pair.
You would have expected him to shy away from your gaze, considering you were absolutely speechless at the moment but Jay stood rooted to the ground as he smiled gently at you. He doesn’t look afraid, if anything, he looked pretty calm, far too calm for someone who just admitted to being in love with their best friend for—
“How—how long?” You stammer, cheeks absolutely aflame as Jay swayed you both to Ariana Grande’s voice. “How long have you—“
“Have I loved you?” Jay continues for you, “far too long that I immediately jumped at the chance of being your fake boyfriend.” Now he looks a tad sheepish from the revelation. Nonetheless, he still stood tall, confidence unwavering. “My timing is always shit when it comes to you, did you know? Every single fucking time I was about to ask you out on a date, someone always beats me to it. I always claim it was bad timing, but Sunoo would counter that with me just being a coward.” He makes a face, “well, he wasn’t wrong, but it was mostly timing.”
“I almost lost hope, but then you asked me to be your fake boyfriend and I obviously took that as a chance to show you what I could be like as a boyfriend to you.” Jay muses, “and it also pissed me off that you seem to always find the assholes. I know this isn’t what you were expecting from all of this and I know that you might not feel the same but—“
“Jay?”
“Yeah?”
“Just shut up and kiss me again before I change my mind.”
You weren’t entirely sure if you were there yet, love that is; but you knew you felt something more for the man who kissed you like you were the most precious thing to ever walk the earth and the more his lips moved against yours, the more he showed how much he wanted you to be his and his alone. He poured his everything into it, only for you to grow more and more certain that you’ll have no problems falling in love with your best friend in no time.
Besides, you always thought Jay would probably make it easy for anyone to fall for him. He just had that aura, never mind his initial cold front. It’s what comes after when you get to know him better in the long run.
Jay pulls away, resting his forehead against yours, “Wanna get out of here?”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
It’s when you wake up in his arms the next morning were you convinced that maybe, just maybe you have loved Jay since the beginning, but you were just too busy looking for love somewhere else to pay attention to what was right there all along.
At least now you have Jay to remind you, after all, it’s hard to forget about him when he’s currently peppering your face with gentle kisses and there was no place you’d rather be than where you are now.
* * *
a/n: I can't believe I wrote 8k words from hearing "my baby loves me" over and over again help
synopsis: let’s get one thing clear, Jungwon wasn’t a superhero. So what if he woke up one day with the ability to read minds? His lifestyle didn’t need to go through a drastic change. Needless to say, he went on with his life, carrying the weight of responsibility that came with the whole ‘having ESP ordeal’. But it wasn’t until his 18th birthday where his life took a new turn once letting his barriers slip and he found himself lost in your thoughts—your thoughts that revolved around him and maybe, just maybe he finds the quiet daydreamer (you) and the inner workings of her mind intriguing.
(alternatively: in which Yang Jungwon can read minds and he finds himself slowly falling in love with Y/N, an avid daydreamer, through her thoughts that strangely enough were full of him).
GENRE — one-shot, highschool AU, strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, kind of a character study, a smidge of angst.
WARNING(S) — swearing lol, mentions of death but like from embarrassment
WORD COUNT — 22.9K (that definitely exceeded my expectations 🗿)
Based off of my interpretation of his love style according to his birth chart. Take this with a grain of salt, bc of course I don’t know him personally and his own preferences take precedence over an astrological interpretation <3
Placements Considered for this Synthesis:
Ascendant/houses, Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, Chiron, Juno & major aspects to any of these placements.
NSFW will be under the cut for 18+!
Let’s go!
Ah, to love Heeseung
His love language is acts of service, hardcore
He will do little things for you, the things you find annoying to do yourself but tend to take for-granted if he does them simply because they’re so mundane
Examples of this: you hate emptying the dishwasher, he does it before you have to so you won’t be bothered. You like cooking but you don’t like the clean up—he offers to do that for you. You left your shoes a mess by the door in a rush? He re-orders them for you.
Please tell him you appreciate all of this. Tell him it makes your life easier and that you see what he does and are so thankful for all of it.
Remember when he cleaned the dorm living room in his day off vlog? And then gushed about it to Jungwon.
If this ever happens to you don’t👏🏼hesitate👏🏼to👏🏼thank👏🏼him👏🏼and👏🏼tell👏🏼him👏🏼he👏🏼did👏🏼good.
He likes to be useful & to hear that he helped you = ✨💕✨ for Heeseung’s soft heart
Never ever point out his flaws in an aggressive, straightforward way
He’ll take it as a critique and it will be internalized on top of his own never ending self-criticism
He’ll run it over in his head like “I’m not enough, I thought I was enough but I guess like usual I need to do more”
You can’t just say “you focus too much on the details” or “you care too much about little things, lighten up a bit”
That will hurt him badly, and he likely won’t show that it hurt. He’ll just kind of get quiet & nod along
Instead, say something like “I really appreciate and admire how caring you are but sometimes it’s okay not to pay attention to something if it’s interrupting your peace”
Because he probably already berates himself for that, he doesn’t need a second voice confirming his self-depreciations
For the love of (non-specific) god, please please don’t leave the house a mess & disorder everything without putting it back together
Heeseung likes a nice, orderly, clean home
If you just throw your clothes on the floor, spill stuff and half-ass clean it, or leave your stuff everywhere in places they shouldn’t me, it’s gonna annoy Hee
And that’s when he can get naggy
“Why do you always leave the house a mess? Is it that hard to clean up after yourself?” Etc
He’ll take it as you don’t appreciate him liking a clean house
A messy home = unhappy Hee. Don’t be lazy, just clean up when you are there so you don’t procrastinate it & annoy him more
Do things for him too
If he doesn’t like folding the laundry, help him or do it before he can
If he ran out of the shampoo/face cream he uses, get it for him without him asking
Pay attention to details like him, because if you make this effort it won’t go unnoticed I promise you
It’ll warm his heart so much, and make him feel like you really do appreciate his presence in your life
And we all want Hee to feel like that because it’s true and he deserves it
Another cute thing to do that will make his heart flutter - leave little notes where he can see them as he gets ready for the day
That Virgo Moon/Venus conjunction is very routine-oriented & could use a tiny little bit of spice
So you paying attention to his routine, writing on some sticky notes cute things like “lookin’ good handsome” and sticking it on the mirror so he sees it when he goes to brush his teeth (that Libra Sun/Mercury will appreciate the flirty edge) is ugh, *chef’s kiss* for Hee
A little sticky note on the coffee you left prepared for him with a “I love you, have a great day” starts him off right in the morning
He feels loved, he feels appreciated, and cared for
This ties me into my next point: his 12th House Chiron
So I’ve speculated his rising to be at Capricorn (this is one of the ones I’m almost certain about) and this puts his Sagittarius Chiron in his 12th house
Chiron is the asteroid of the open wound, the area in one’s life that will need constant care & healing
In the 12th house of the subconscious this can speak to a battle of the mind, very internally
Heeseung is a very empathetic person & encourages people to share their concerns with him as he can just feel when they’re down
But seldom shares about himself
He’s a very guarded person & paired with that Virgo Moon/Venus & Libra Sun/Mercury I cannot even stress how selfless he is
To love Heeseung is to teach him self-love and self-acceptance
Heeseung is a self-sacrificial kind of person, but that’s not the kind of love that will work for him in return
He needs someone who is self confident, who believes in themselves & their work, who knows their worth & encourages those around them to do the same
You cannot attack him for being so selfless
Don’t say “you need to stop thinking about other people all the time” or “have more confidence in yourself”
Yes, that comes from a place of love but that goes back to the criticism—he’ll know he’s not caring about himself enough and it’ll make him get more upset with himself
Say things like “you’re really important to me and all of your friends, and your concerns are just as valid. I’m here for you to give advice where I can, or just to lend a listening ear”
He’ll take a while to open up so please be patient with him, don’t be afraid to share about yourself
He’s likely encountered many people who go to him with their heavy problems
To them he’s a safe space & he knows how to comfort/advise even if he’s never gone through the same situation
Please let him know it’s okay to not take on everyone’s problems, he likely wants to shoulder every burden that comes his way
And won’t want to burden you with his troubles
Show him that you’re strong too and can help him withstand his burdens when he needs
Tell him “you’re incredibly strong and it’s okay to not be strong all the time, you can lean on me if something is bothering you”
Be patient!! Reiterating this!! Don’t rush him or make him feel like he isn’t giving enough
The more he shares, the more he’ll see you can handle his burdens, the more safe he’ll feel to share more
And he will, when he loves you that means he feels he can depend on you and let his guard down
Now, our dear Earthy Libra may get caught up in his routines, but he needs some stimulation sometimes
If he gets too routine/comfortable in his lil bubble, he’ll get bored. This is the Virgo/Libra duality
That’s where you come in
You need to be able to get him out of his monotony or you’ll both be bored to death
It’s date night. He wants to go to the usual restaurant you guys go to when you go out to eat.
While that’s a safe choice, it’s a lil lackluster
So, you suggest trying a new one that just opened up. Or something you haven’t had in a while that’s a little further away. It’ll give you more time to listen to good music in the car you reason, and he’s sold
It doesn’t take Heeseung much convincing at all, he’s super chill and game for anything. This is the mutable quality of his Virgo placements
That Libra/Capricorn in him is Cardinal, so he’ll suggest sometimes
He needs you to put that into action
Him: “Hey, we should go to this new escape room thing that opened up downtown sometime”
Say yes to him pls
You: “Okay, let’s figure out a day. How about next Friday?”
Make his idea concrete. Such beautiful harmony here. Don’t just go “yeah, that’d be cool sometime”. Make it a tangible date & time.
It’ll be fun, Heeseung’s very picky. When he choses, it’s been deemed worth his time and effort.
Buy him things, but only when they’re useful
He’s not the type to own something just to own in, like our certified Material Boy™️ Jay
His items need to have a practical use to them, he’s more on the minimalistic side
Remember Jay Fashion’s “What’s in my bag?” Episode when he just had earbuds? 😭😭
Simple guy, doesn’t ask for much and content with whatever works
Ugh love that about him, I wish I was more like that
Something really nice (bonus if it has sentimental value) every once in a while is great for him
Like look at those earphones he had. He could have used some airpods, his Libra placements like the finer things in life
He won’t concern himself with getting them unless the opportunity arises, but he’d very much appreciate them as a thoughtful gift
Less is more with Heeseung
Will feel a little guilty if he gets too many things at once, he really does prefer the more simple items/one or two really special ones at a time
Not the type for over-the-top displays of affection
Something flashy, something too crazy like a surprise party or something super him-only focused would make him go AHH? NO PLS
For his birthday, if you want to celebrate it please do something genuine & laid-back
Invite friends over for some board games & snacks, mention that it’s Heeseung’s birthday but stress to keep it lowkey
Being surrounded by his loved ones, spending quality time with them without the attention being too focused on himself would be so perfect for him
Physical affection-wise, he’s somewhere in the middle
Totally game for cuddles, hand holding, back hugs in the kitchen
Just don’t overwhelm him
Don’t be a koala, he likes some space as well
But you’re sitting on the couch watching a movie? Hold his arm, lean on his shoulder, gently run your thumb over his skin
He loves it, it gives him butterflies
He’s cooking? Give him a quick little back hug.
He’s playing a video game? Lay your feet/legs in his lap & do your own thing reading a book or browsing the internet on your phone.
Not the type for eye-catching PDA. Nope. None of that.
Making out in public? Hard no.
He’ll do a quick little peck but that’s it.
Holding hands while out, yes. Arm around your shoulder, yes.
More intimate moments are for you two and you two only, in the comfort of your home or wherever you’re staying together
His Juno is in Leo
You as his s/o have a unique star quality to you
Maybe you’re literally famous, maybe just well-known and liked within your circle
But whatever it is, you have a sunny & powerful disposition
It intimidates some people but they also have this urge to just be your friend because you have a good vibe about you
Heeseung loves your confidence. That is so key here. He sees you making waves, going through life with an unwavering trust in yourself and goes “that’s it, that’s the one”
It inspires him to want to be more confident in himself as well
You don’t even need to push him, he just sees you doing it and follows in your footsteps
You make it more comfortable for him to give himself credit bc it’s like, you pat yourself on the back when you deserve it, maybe it’s okay for him to do that too
Hee has a tendency to dim his shine because he stands out naturally, but isn’t the most comfortable with all the attention
You bring him up with you, you make him shine
You make it okay for him to take up space, because with that Capricorn rising he immediately has a lot of attention
Leo & Capricorn placements are alike that way, they both have a powerful presence
Capricorns tend to be less approachable than Leos though, so Heeseung, not wanting to seem “threatening” or “intimidating” tones his aura down
Then he sees you just embracing your magnetism and finally feels that it’s okay for him to do so too
He’ll feel more happy-go-lucky & optimistic in this sort of relationship, and that’s his Jupiter in his 7th house talking
He’s blessed with abundance & happiness when he’s in s relationship that allows him to truly be himself
Heeseung is literally a sweetheart, I love his chart but I just want him to give himself the love & gentleness he does to everyone else 😔
Enhypen Astrology Masterlist
Now, NSFW below the cut! (18+ only please)
That Capricorn Mars he has speaks to a lot of stamina
That Capricorn Mars he has speaks to a lot of stamina
That Capricorn Mars he has speaks to a lot of stamina
He can go. And then keep going. And keep going. And going.
Can hold off on his orgasm really well, probably likes edging
Based on his chart, I believe he’s capable of domming & subbing but he’s sub-leaning
He’s a pleaser, come on
Your pleasure is his, he just wants to be of use, to make you feel good, to do a good job
So if you edge him? Perfect
He likes having that control over himself, and he likes being good for you
He also feels like he has to control everything in his daily life
So when he subs & you dom, he trusts you and relinquishes that control over
Lay him down and make him feel good
But don’t make it all about him, if you keep complimenting his appearance (yes, Hee is gorgeous but nonetheless), he’ll get shy and won’t respond
Compliment his obedience instead
Praise him when he listens to your commands
Touch him with your hands or use your mouth on him, going slower is better
It gives him time to really feel into it, and Hee’s not in a rush, so take your time
Ride him just as slowly, make his control break even more
When he gets close, pull off. Tell him not yet. Press kisses into his skin. Repeat.
Do this until his restraint snaps and he starts begging, moaning louder and more frequent
Keep doing it until he says he can’t take it, and then push him a little further. Tell him he can, that he’s being so good for you
When he starts squirming and his knuckles go white from how hard he’s gripping the bedsheets, let him cum
He’ll absolutely lose it in the best way
How to make this experience even better, you ask? Rope.
Yep. Tie him up. When he wants you to do this, you better give it to him.
Bind his hands and tell him to make you cum on just his tongue
That brings me to my next point
Remember how I said he was a giver? Well.
He has mad head game
He’ll go down on you & give you multiple orgasms
If he’s really worked up he can cum from just using his mouth on you
He’ll leave marks around your abdomen and thighs, places easily covered
And he’ll love the same. No marks where it’ll be a nuisance to hide for professional reasons, but where only he and you can see? Beautiful.
Easily can do hard & soft sex
Soft sex is full of him complimenting you and you telling him how much you love and appreciate him
Hard sex is full of A) you domming him and making him almost cry from pleasure or B) him domming you and making you scream praises as he puts those dancer hips to good use
Dom Heeseung
My last point
This goes back to his super “things need to be in this order” tendency
If he’s in the right mood and you keep being a brat and disobeying him on purpose, pushing his buttons just right
He’ll want to teach you a lesson
He’ll be just rough enough to satisfy but not so much as to ever hurt you, not even if you like pain. He just won’t do it.
Gripping your hips/thighs hard enough to leave marks
Snapping his hips at a fast & deadly accurate pace (his attention to detail makes him pick up on where to hit immediately just by the way you react)
Edges you until you can’t take it anymore and start to cry
I lied I have one more point
Aftercare
Omg aftercare KING Heeseung
If he’s dommed you, he’ll do the entire works
Start the shower/bath, help you over there, wash you both, change the sheets if needed, get you water, a snack, and cuddle you. Whatever you need, literally he’s gonna do it for you.
If you’ve just dommed him, you’ll do the same for him
He might protest a little because he doesn’t wanna burden you, but he’s sleepy now & you don’t mind one bit
Lays down on your chest and listens to your heartbeat while you gently comb through his hair
Talks with you until you both doze off
Okay, I’m done finally. Took me the whole day whoops. I just. Have a lot of words for Hee. He’s such a great guy & it was really fun to bounce off of his chart & create little scenarios that would speak to his gentle heart. I hope you enjoyed <3
If you made it all the way down here: thank you. I appreciate you. Have a lovely day/night!
Images are not mine. Credits to HYBE, lucymariacliff, & owner of the hands pic (couldn't find the source).
I’m really excited about this one, because he has some interesting things going on in his chart.
Based off of my interpretation of his love style according to his birth chart. Take this with a grain of salt, bc of course I don’t know him personally and his own preferences take precedence over an astrological interpretation <3
Placements Considered for this Synthesis:
Ascendant/houses, Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, Chiron, Juno & major aspects to any of these placements.
NSFW will be under the cut on the bottom for 18+!
He’s a Pisces Moon
So, like Niki, he’s very giving in a relationship
He's so romantic, and he wants to experience an all-encompassing love
He feels things very deeply, and can feel the emotions of others a lot. More so than Niki, because Niki has Earth placements, which ground him a bit. Jake is just water and a bit of air & fire, so there isn't much to tether him down.
Sometimes he can't even tell which emotions are his own and which are yours.
When you're hurting, he's hurting. He'll be able to tell when you're upset.
Just be honest with him why you're upset. Maybe he did something to upset you, or maybe it's completely something out of his control
Whatever it is, tell him, because he'll start to think the worst and spiral and get down on his own mood. Be clear and do not just go all silent on him
With that Pisces Moon of his, he can get down a lot. High highs, and low lows, just like Niki
The difference here is that he'll likely have less inhibitions about telling you why he's down
Please give him your undivided attention and let him know you're there for him
Being that he is one of the older members, he takes on a very responsible role
With you, he'd want to lose some of that "toughness" that a hyung has and just lean on you
Jake's a cuddler
He'll tuck himself right in the crook of your neck, wrap his arms around your middle and stay there for the rest of the night
His Scorpio Venus & Libra Mars are a little bit confusing, because he wants intensity but also freedom
He needs you to trust him as much as he trusts you, and when he's in love he will truly trust you
Libra placements by nature are flirty, and most of the time they don't even do it on purpose. That's just how they go about life, in a very charming and charismatic way
So when he's out and about, being nice to/bantering with other people, don't misconstrue it as him trying to disrespect you and flirt with everyone
With that Scorpio Venus, he's big on trust and it would hurt him very much if you didn't trust him
It would be like "Is that who you think I am? Do you really think that low of me? Do you even love me?"
And with the Pisces Moon it could get dramatic
So trust him, he loves you and as long as you allow his naturally charismatic side to fly without stifling it (by saying things like "Why do you act like that?" and "I wish you'd be less friendly with people, they think you're flirting"), then you're golden
If you do try and control him, he'll feel smothered and look for an escape
That Pisces/Libra in him wouldn't want to hurt you and would choose to be passive, instead going behind the scenes and look for other options where he believes someone would treat him better
This is only if you're too controlling and mistrusting. The less you trust him, the less loved he feels, the more likely he is to become attached to the idea of another relationship where he feels more loved
So just be open and honest, never assume his feelings and never leave the assuming to him
Trust him, let him trust you, and it will be beautiful
Now, when Jake is angry or upset, he has trouble voicing it
With his Libra/Pisces, he prefers to be more passive. This could brew some passive-aggressive moments on his part, or the silent treatment
So encourage him to talk about it
Tell him you value communication, and can tell he's upset
Say you want to work through the problems and hear him out, appeal to his Libra Mars by emphasizing that both people need to be happy in the relationship and you need it to be equal
Once he knows he can communicate without outright confrontation (and with the Libra/Pisces that is one of the things he steers clear from a lot) he'll speak his mind
With his Sun conjunct Mercury, he's very logical and reason-oriented. Once you start communicating, a problem won't drag out. You'll find a quick solution.
On the subject of his Sun/Mercury cazimi, holy lord does he value deep conversations
One of the ways to his heart is to join him on his intellectual rapports, because he'll go on a lot of them.
Nothing would make him happier than a partner that thinks just the way he does/builds off of what he says with the same energy
Wants someone who he can love and be best friends with in one
Now, since I've done his love style, myself and an anon have talked about his rising sign and it's lead me to believe a Libra rising would be a better fit for him
Of course, reading his houses will be a tentative style since we don't know (drop the birth time pls Jake)
But according to his 5th & 7th houses, dates with him will be fun, exciting, adventurous & spontaneous (Aries 7th) and unusual, genuine, and out-of-the-box (Aquarius 5th)
I'm imagining him going "let's go have a picnic in an empty parking lot at 2am. why you ask? because we can."
That kind of fun, 'we're the only two people in the world', 'no one else thinks of this stuff' kind of date.
Likes bringing you on dates with friends, especially on double dates
I'm thinking a cute rooftop date where you've all set up comfy bean bags, blankets, and snacks with a projector screen to watch movies
Seeing you get along with all of his friends = happy, enamored Jake
Quite cute, I say! Now, NSFW will be below this cut for 18+ readers!
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Jake believes in equal give and take in the bedroom
With that Libra Mars especially, he really likes oral, giving and receiving
So if he goes down on you, return the favor. If you go down on him first, he will return the favor
He's quite experimental, open to trying lots of new things, so don't be afraid to bring up something you want to do to spice things up
Multiple positions guy, probably is on top and halfway through wants you to take over
More sub leaning, or soft dom, so don't be afraid to take charge. He'll love it
Loves an intimate, romantic atmosphere. Definitely the type to do the whole roses/candles in the bedroom bit
He would love it if you did it for him too
His face would light up and his heart would soar if you surprised him with this, he'd feel very loved
Feeling loved = wanting to give that love back
He could please you all night
Because he's so equality-based in bed, 69 would be a fave of his
Libra rules the lower back, so that's where his hands will be on you, especially when he's going at it from behind
Palm right in the dip of your spine where it meets your hips, yup
Hickies there too. You will be marked UP.
Breathplay is another one for him, once again, equally on you (consenting) and himself
Not too hard, just enough pressure to feel it
And lastly, roleplay
As I said in his love style, he is into the grand, dramatic role plays
You’re his majesty and he’s just a knight and tonight is all you have
He would be so passionate, dear LORD
Holds your hands while he’s above you, looks deep into your eyes
He’ll be so cuddly afterwards
Would lay on your chest and talk about anything, blissed out and relaxed
Tells you he loves you, leaves marks on your body. Might even leave one on your neck where it’s visible so people know who you belong to.
Leave one on him. Leave multiple on him.
Leave some near his dick on his abdomen & thighs when you’re going down on him. He loves that
I hope you enjoyed this! I had fun making it, he has potential to be a very sweet & devoted boyfriend.
Summary: If he were to get his hands on you, there wouldn’t be an inch of your skin untouched, no area unmarked. After all, we need to see who you belong to, right?
Pairing: Jake x gn! reader
Genre: Smut
TW: none apply
CW: marking, biting, unprotected sex, cream pie, there is like slight aftercare & some fluffy undertones but only if you’re using a magnifying glass ig, ps always talk to ur partner ab boundaries okok
Word count: 1,579
Part of the 12 days of xxxmas series
a/n: this was actually going to be pretty vanilla but like jake got me fucked up so bye. ps merry xmas gang :)
“Hey, come on now. Tell me,” Jake’s voice beside you is firm as you fix your eyes on the tv screen in front of you.
You’ve been avoiding bringing up a particular subject for a longer amount of time than you like, and it’s crept it’s way into the trepid territory of becoming a gateway to an argument, if you’re not careful.
“Jake,” you scrunch up into the pillow on your lap, “It seriously doesn’t matter.”
And with that, he sort of sighs with an over-the-top eye roll because he’s all too used to being shut down.
And that’s only because you’re embarrassed.
See, you and Jake have been dating for a plentiful amount of time now, spending more and more time in one another’s apartments and it’s comfortable. It’s a routine - to miss him when he’s gone and enjoy when he’s around. And it’s not that there’s something that’s lacking - it could never be that.
Really.
Although, suppose the sex life could perhaps be a little more abundant.
That’s the issue - the sheer lack of it. Neither of you are new to sex, it’s a natural, normal thing. But it seems to come so unnaturally to the two of you.
Steamy kisses will lead to grinding, the feeling of Jake’s erection on you spiralling you into a hot mess, and before you know it, the visibly flustered man is pulling himself away from you with sweat beginning to gather at his hairline and his pupils enlarged.
Another situation like that is occurring now, the previous, tense conversation disregarded much like the film on the TV screen that you were too indulged in to look into Jake’s eyes prior, and is now working as background noise as the sofa rustles slightly under the movement of your weight.
Kissing Jake’s neck as your fists grip tightly into his shirt, you hope it conveys enough of a message. You whine with need, with desire, with an underlying feeling of rage, and hope too that without words, he knows what you want to say.
He breaks the kiss to look at you, “Y/N, are you taking your anger out on me or something?,”
“Jake, can we please just have sex,” you rasp, impatient.
He halts.
Shit.
“Is that what this is all about?,” and the situation begins to dissipate as you feel Jake start to move your body from atop his, “You won’t talk about it, right? Sex?,”
Shit. Shit.
“I just think that we’ve been together long enough,” you wish you could find the pillow you were once hugging. You wish it could swallow you up as you feel Jake’s eyes burning into you with every word, “I just think about it so much. And we always do this. And it’s-, well, it’s nice but I just want more,”
“I just don’t want to-,” he cuts off, and his eyes widen in panic, arms coming out instinctively to reach for you, “No! It’s not that I don’t want to do it with you, I just don’t know what I can do without it being too much,” his face is flustered, cheeks rosier than moments ago when you rubbed your hips over his, and it works to ease the situation, even slightly.
“So you’ve thought about it?,”
“So fucking much,” Jake sighs, head resting back against the sofa and admitting defeat. It makes your heart swoon that the growing sexual frustration wasn’t merely a one sided thing.
For sure, there’s only so many times one can enjoy the scraps of desire before the foreplay even begins. There’s only so many times one can fantasise about something before they need the real thing.
You stroke your fingers up Jake’s thigh, noticing the way he tenses slightly in response, contrasting distinctly to the way you feel yours eases with every word in the conversation, “So tell me what you want, and then let’s have sex.”
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Fuck, Jake,” you hold onto the armrest in front of you for some support as Jake continues to thrust earnestly into you. The feeling building up inside you alone is enough to drive you to insanity.
You’ve thought many times about how Jake would be in bed - perhaps timid and slow and taking his time to worship you. In fact, he does so, just in different ways; a quick snap of the hips but a contrastingly harsh grip on your waist as you wet the pillow stuffed into your mouth in an attempt be courteous to the neighbouring apartments.
You’ve thought many times about it, but now it’s really happening, it’s so different to how you expected - in the best ways.
Another palm across the plane of your ass has you crying out, the sting burning and spreading hotness across your skin.
“Does it hurt?,” he mumbles against your spine as he kisses upwards, before reaching your shoulder blades.
“Y-yeah,” you manage, wincing at how dry the fabric of the sofa cushion made your mouth.
“Good,” Jake says. He doesn’t give up his pace even at the awkward angle he’s in, hips flush against you before he drags right out to his tip, the feeling causing you to clench before he fully removes himself, “You’re taking me so well,”
You say nothing in response, instead trying hard to push yourself back onto Jake to meet his thrusts. It feels deeper, impossibly so, and despite the situation, you feel your heart swell - such an intimate moment finally being shared.
Even if it is on Jake’s apartment sofa.
Still, as Jake lifts himself back up to thrust lazily into you, as his fingers rake up and down your back so harsh that red lines begin to form faintly, there’s an odd peace in it.
As he grips so hard into your flesh it begins to hurt, causing whiny rasps to escape your mouth, “Jake, it hurts,”
He instantly soothes over the irritated skin, “I can stop, love,”
But you wouldn’t want that, because the pain mixes into pleasure that makes you ever so needy, that makes you want to beg for this to last longer, for the marks he’s leaving behind to last longer.
“Please don’t,”
“That’s what I thought,” there’s a smirk in his voice, even though you can’t see him in this position.
And you’re not prepared for the spanks he delivers once again, skin itching with the pain. You whine out pathetically, and it fuels him to continue - one, two, three more harsh hits until-
“Jake, holy shit please stop,” you grind back, emptiness in your word, “I can’t take it,” your breath catches in your throat, making it impossibly drier.
“Hold still,” he pleads, “I’m close.”
He fucks into you so quickly that your arms let out from under you, head resting on the armrest as your eyes roll back. There’s not much you can say now, there’s not much you need to, either, because Jake knows too that you’re close, with the way you clench around him and attempt to push your hips back to meet with his harshly.
The scratching up your back continues until you feel Jake’s hot breath around your shoulders, panting insanely. There’s sweat now, dripping from his forehead and you don’t even mind that you’re both hot and flustered right now - a long time coming has this moment been.
And Jake does his best to hold off; feel you. Feel you as you begin to cum from the penetration alone, body rocking even more so as you try to spit out the words of just how good it feels, just how much you need this.
But with his cock twitching, and his own eyes rolling back, he can’t say much either as his teeth sink into the flesh of your shoulder. Through the bliss, you can hardly feel the pain, barely even able to feel the way he fills you up so well, stuffs you so full, but you know when this moment is over that the dark purple bruise of Jake’s teeth with serve as a reminder of who you belong to.
His orgasm is one of the strongest he can ever remember he’s had, breathless whine through his nostrils as he keeps his teeth in place.
When he pulls out of you finally, he tries to ignore the way his cum drips onto the sofa.
Suppose it be that he can finally buy a new one.
When the sounds from the credits of the movie finally get to fill the room, replacing wanton moans and lewd cries, all that’s left are blissful expressions followed by a post-coital glow.
Seeing you covered in marks made by himself, Jake shouldn’t find a relaxing domesticity about the situation - but he does.
And when you’re in the shower, body being cleaned softly and shampoo being applied to your scalp with delicate hands, you almost forget they’re the same hands that only moments ago held you in place, marked you, and help to serve the reminder of who’s really yours.
“I’m sorry,” Jake apologises softly as you look into the bathroom mirror opposite the shower, hands stroking over the indents of teeth as he continues to clean you, “I love you.”
“If you love me,” you smirk, body leaning back into Jake’s, feeling the way his dick reacts. You probably shouldn’t provoke him, push him, but now you’ve indulged in him, you feel there’s just no way to stop, “Then you’d do it again.”
Okay so I’m back on here since ED discord servers keep getting deleted
So i started another 2 day fast I over ate today I ate 1458 calories usually my cap is 1200
(Actually I don’t truly know how many calories I ate cause some of the food I had didn’t tell me how many calories so I over estimated)
The lowest I got was like last week at 258 pounds but for some reason I can’t keep it off (probably because I keep over eating) but anyway I just started my fast and I’m going to try my hardest to consume NOTHING I’m going to update this post as time goes by
4/6/22
7:22 am
I’m prob going to walk to and from work to get a few extra steps in I was sooooo temped to eat something yesterday but I got through it usually I have coffee cause coffee is a natural appetite suppressant but I won’t the only thing that I’ll have is my vitamins
1:28 pm
My stomach is grumbling but I’m going to stick to my guns and not eat so far I’m 18 hours in
And this is what my Apple Watch says
7:24 pm
so I failed but not too bad I ate one string cheese a banana and some pineapple and mango so I’m ending this fast with 400 cals and I’m going to start a brand new one
So I’m starting a 24 hour fast and I want to try to be down at least 10 pounds by April 14 so 22 days so I’ll be trying to do a lot of fasts
I was in a K-pop ED Discord server but that got deleted I guess so for the meanwhile I’ll be here I’ll be updating as the fast goes on
3/25/22
12:57 pm
So I’m at hour 15 and I did eat like 5 pieces of pineapple so I guess the fast is “over” but that had to be less than 10 calories so I’m not counting it I might weigh myself when I get home
I’ve been juggling between 267-264 for like two weeks now man I think I’ll just fast i weight myself and now I’m 263 so I’ll just drink some coffee and try to fast until I can get into the 250s
3/22/22
I was 261 pounds this morning and I over ate a lot to I’m doing a 24 hour fast but hopefully soon I’ll be in the 250s
romaincrisis
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