Hi. whoever reads this, thank you for reading my nonsense writng,
I saw this gif below so I decide to make the title as it is.
Today was quite a not happy but not even a sad day. I was in my room at the 4th floor of this building somewhere in the middle of the east. I was lying in my bed all day, looking for job online and eating (on the same bed) watching kdrama and sleeping and praying (still at the same bed) and trying to contain all of my thoughts. Suddenly I realize nothing. I am in between thoughtful and thoughtless, *sniffs*. Geez :( I feel pathetic and worthless. Nothing to do with my life at all, hope that I’ll get a job soon :|
Yesterday I had a weird job interview, this old Indian guy who’s probably be the owner of the company ordered me to copy a paragraph from a book (part of the interview) he lend me in a 2 blank sheet of paper to write on it. My first thought was “Maybe he likes someone who writes very good and clear” but my handwriting was kind of a mess *geez*. I tried to write as better as I can & as clearly as I can. After 2 other applicant, it’s my turn. He first go through my handwriting looking keenly on those paper, and he asked’ “what are your hobbies?”, and I replied right after his question ”Watching Movies, hanging out with my friends and chatting with my family”, and then for the follow up question “While you are watching movies, do you remember all the details from start to finish” I answered ”Well I might miss some parts but I always see to it that I understand the story.” Then suddenly he get an empty water bottle and told me “Can you look at this bottle for 10 minutes without thinking of anything, you need to clear your mind and just stare at this blankly”.
Me: I think, maybe? I will try.
Interviewer: You cannot control your thoughts, practice it daily maybe it will help.
And the rest was history, I have declined the job as the offer is quite not on the range I was expecting. No pressure, I still have time and maybe this is not for me as well. At least I learned and got some free psychological assessment in that matter. Yes, I agree that I can’t control my thoughts, He also said that I have a lot of fears, I am not confident, I am conscious and what else, I am anxious (Yes indeed) and I don’t know my purpose yet I am lost. Yeah, I totally agree. That’s great, making me realize my flaws xD Yaaaay! -___- I am now more confused in which direction will I go. As of the moment, I will just continue to pray on whatever the world takes me.
Now this busy road below, that’s life. Fleeting. The end of my nonsense, <3
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