Erik

[embrvx]

the Devil's bf

[nightcolorz-deactivated20260424]

woahh okay first time i attempted to send this ask my tumblr glitched and deleted it. idk if it sent but ignore it if so i wanted to reword it anyway. (tw for sa discussions and sexual abuse/trauma)

either way ive been thinking a lot about the post you wrote about armand’s (or amadeo’s) hypersexuality in venice and i saw a very similar post on twitter, essentially saying armand was so confused and horny in venice and ended up going to bianca for solice (then feeling incredibly guilty about it) and then later harlech as he weaponised his sexuality as a form of revenge on marius “ignoring” him (eventually tragically leading to his death)

it just puts such a tragic image into my head of amadeo in bianca’s bedchamber, crying and crying after having sex with her because he doesn’t understand why he feels the way he does, why he desires sex so much after all he’s been through, and not realising it is a trauma response, a last ditch effort to keep himself alive by acclimatising to his environment of sexual abuse, and then it later killing him anyway.

Armand is so Sad. im so sad.

any other thoughts from you?

doooonttt worry lol ur previous ask didn’t send haha (I’m sorry stinky tumblr deleted it tho damn) but I LOVE this ask so thank u sm for resending it!!

omgg this makes me so sad holy shit 😭 I never made the connection that Amadeo’s hyper sexuality reaction to sa trauma led to his death but ugh, omg, ur so right that’s so tragic. It’s also specifically Marius abusing him that leads him to his death, bcus Armand feeling the massive loss of agency and control over his life and sexuality cuz of Marius causes him to get with harlech (someone he knows is dangerous) bcus he wants to make Marius angry and to distance himself from his perceived control by self destructing. Marius starts having Armand go to brothels against his will, Marius resents Armand for doing the thing he told him to and starts “ignoring him”, boom harlech boom death

the Bianca thing is so interesting, especially Armand’s guilt and perceived lack of control of his actions. It’s like, he is realizing that for reasons he can’t understand he isn’t able to control his sexual impulses and he is consumed by them in a way that dictates his behavior, which is scary as shit especially for someone who has been taught to be frightened of sexuality for his entire life. Armand seems to perceive himself being hyper sexual as akin to being like his abusers, where he seems to think that since he can’t control his sexual urges and makes poor decisions bcus of horniness hes akin to a rapist which 😰💔 that type of guilt is rlly common for sa victims who experience complicated reactions to trauma unfortunately. But ugh.

slight change of topic, but I always think about how hard and strange it must’ve been for Amadeo to go from 24/7 sex and sexual urges to sexless being thrown into catholic cult where u can’t bathe urself let alone fuck. Like that’s the kind of whiplash between two harmful extremes that makes someone into a person like Armand, lmao

[bifauxnenarmand]

the visual of 1500 yr old marius shivering his timbers over his teenage human slave breaking his door down is so fucking funny to me😭😭😭😭

[muirin007]

I would be a dog at your feet.

[secondwheel]

Hatching conspiracies

[realtapiocafan]

[nasnyys]

Louis reading twilight

very @loelett reminiscent request <3 spiritually also for kate

[ieatglitter02]

depeche mode actually wrote every single song about devils minion (fun and 100% true #notfake fact)

[cloudabserk]

i think armand would do really well on stan twitter

[cloudabserk]

competitive playing

[hallowedhaunting]

"When you found me under Les Innocents," Armand said, "you wanted to bathe me with perfume and dress me in velvet with great embroidered sleeves."

"Yes," I said, "and comb your hair, your beautiful russet hair."

[chunkiimilk]

time weighs on a memory (thank you for the comm !!)

[catholicguiltatemybaby]

sometimes, late at night, when i can’t sleep i think back to how i used to say my prayers before bed. how i would talk as though i were having a conversation with someone else, even though there was never any reply. back then it felt as if i was being heard though, as if i truly had someone to guide me through every adversity i faced.

looking back at it now though, i didn’t receive any guidance. all i received was silence as some imaginary man watched me be abused, berated, belittled, and absolutely lose myself to mental illness and fear. there’s almost a sense of relief as i begin to distance myself from my religious views, because if there is no God, then he didn’t abandon me or watch me suffer needlessly.

it means that all those nights i spent sobbing, staring up at the starry sky and begging for the help i needed, i was just screaming into the void of space. maybe that isn’t much better for a kid to go through, but it’s better than that same kid thinking that the God i had devoted myself to just gave up on me one day.

[catholicguiltatemybaby]

nothing is stranger than seeing the people i went to catholic school with still practicing religion. like, what went differently for them?

did they have the same existentialist experience that i did? do they still feel God’s presence when they pray? when they remember me, when they look at what i’ve become in recent years, do they feel disappointed in knowing i am damned in their God’s eyes?

some part of me almost feels angry at them for it. for being stronger than i was, being a more devote christian than i could be—but at the same time i’m so happy for them. i love that they still go to church on Sundays, that they probably still carry the same rosaries they did when we were kids. they found something that makes them feel whole, something that gives them a purpose in life, and while i envy it there is no denying that i’m glad they did.

i just hope that some day, in whatever form comes after this dreary existence, we are allowed to meet again for just a moment. for just a moment i want to hug them again, to tell them i’m sorry i can’t spend eternity with them in their heaven like we had imagined as children, to thank them for being my friends all those years ago… and to congratulate them on finding a happiness within Christ that i was unable to find myself.

[badger-and-bloom]

the learned helplessness in armand is INSANE, i need to crack open his skull and dissect his brain. he is stuck in a god damn 500 year long fawn response. this character is going to drive me into an early grave, holy fuck. the way he lets bad things happen because he can't take action himself?! the submission as a weapon? like a predator showing you it's belly to lure you into a false sense of security.

i NEED to read the books.

[cloudabserk]

why did louis and lestat write entire novels to each other about their marriage and each spent a huge portion of their novels talking about how hot and sexy this other guy armand is.

[cloudabserk]

the two of us have a beautiful and tormentous vampire bond that no one else will ever understand. also there’s this third guy we both really love and badly want to fuck. and he’s evil

[erik-ae]

Evil polycule

[nurgetih-deactivated20250930]

From Gustave Courtois' "Dante et Virgile aux Enfers"

Originally posted on January 2025

This was my first bookmand art, that's why he doesn't look like Mick Jagger yet and has bright ginger hair 😂 also, i recently remembered the typical Vergil - Blue and Dante - Red color scheme wasn't always the case, especially in old manuscripts:

☝️☝️ There it is! That's literally Marius & Amadeo. Hahaha!

I have so so many thoughts about the setting of TVA. It's the most prominent and interesting theme in the book to me. I was heavily fixated & obsessed with turn-of-the-century Italian Renaissance history for a while, so starting to read TVA and slowly realizing this book is set in exactly those years, how Armand's conflict corresponds exactly with the history & theology of that brief period was... an Experience. LOL.

Amadeo's rebirth into his new life being set in a time where Christian faith & culture is being reborn. The Siege of Constantinople and Andrei's kidnapping. Savonarola's Bonfire of Vanities and the Children of Darkness ambush. The constant comparison with Christ's rebirth ... It is so deeply imbued with the conflicting values of the Italian Renaissance. Even Marius, too, represents that - an ancient roman teacher to offset & challenge Armand's very Christian, very spiritual devotion. The book, to me, is Armand's Divine Comedy!

I debated on which painting to imitate for this idea, and ended up choosing the one depicting Canto 32 - Dante & Virgil witness Ugolino della Gherardesca, eternally gnawing on his betrayer's head in hell. Kind of as a little nod to how Armand cannibalizes Riccardo later on.