leave me alone

[eros-kidd]

When we complained about sex we would complain about two things

-we lost the ability to drop on our own when we were previously able to trigger sub/Littlespace on our own

-we were sometimes feeling sex repulsed and we really feel incomplete when we get sex repulsed

But the way we complained about these things made them feel like it was their fault and their responsibility to fix. And our own inability to be clearheaded enough to be able to figure out what we were *actually* feeling inside. And that ended up leading to them feeling pressured to perform as a dom.

The way I responded to these feelings by over sexualizing my head mates... Ande being convinced they needed us to perform sexually in order to feel loved.... Also contributed heavily to this.

[eros-kidd]

This is why we need this blog man I can't be rehashing this 3x a week with my friends

[eros-kidd]

When we complained about sex we would complain about two things

-we lost the ability to drop on our own when we were previously able to trigger sub/Littlespace on our own

-we were sometimes feeling sex repulsed and we really feel incomplete when we get sex repulsed

But the way we complained about these things made them feel like it was their fault and their responsibility to fix. And our own inability to be clearheaded enough to be able to figure out what we were *actually* feeling inside. And that ended up leading to them feeling pressured to perform as a dom.

The way I responded to these feelings by over sexualizing my head mates... Ande being convinced they needed us to perform sexually in order to feel loved.... Also contributed heavily to this.

[goinggawayforawhile-deactivated]

"is this an incest thing" we can only hope so

[eros-kidd]

king messaging us and that way too long lasting paranoia doesn't remotely compare to the fear of even seeing Moss's name

[sweatermuppet]

closing statement from an article about being intersex & the possible connection of gender expression and sexuality in intersex individuals, published in The Gay Liberator, 1970s

[tiredyke]

[ID: a picture of an article that says, “Hopefully gay liberation will continue to raise confusing issues until the world at large becomes so confused and befuddled about sex and gender and all that people can finally stop worrying if "it's a boy or a girl" and get around to being free to be and to love people.” /end ID]

[eros-kidd]

God I would love to stop thinking about them for a fucking single second

[eros-kidd]

When they were like the Thor in our head isn't the real thing. We know. And thanks gods. He has an extremely unpleasant job and I wouldn't wish that on the real one.

[eros-kidd]

The kid parts of me are the worst parts of me.

[eros-kidd]

I never felt big or important enough to get attention

[eros-kidd]

If all rapists deserve to die don't I have like an obligation to kill myself?

[eros-kidd]

If all rapists deserve to die...... don't I have a moral obligation to kill myself?

[eros-kidd]

If all rapists deserve to die don't I have an obligation to kill myself?

[eros-kidd]

If all rapists deserve to die don't I have like an obligation to kill myself?

[eros-kidd]

If all rapists deserve to die...... don't I have a moral obligation to kill myself?

[eros-kidd]

If all rapists deserve to die don't I have like an obligation to kill myself?

[staticbluue]

“People should pass a test before being allowed to have kids.” “Isn’t it scary how white people have this inborn capacity for evil?” “I’ll never pass because males and females have different skull shapes.” “Autistic people have a stronger sense of justice than anyone else.” “I don’t want AMABs in my space because they’re dangerous.” “You shouldn’t have access to hormones if you dress like THAT.” “Anyone who does something that awful isn’t human.” “Some people really shouldn’t be allowed to vote.”

This is eugenics. This is phrenology. THIS IS NAZI SHIT, YOU ARE A LEFTIST BUYING INTO NAZI SHIT. YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE TO NAZI SHIT.

[eros-kidd]

At least I was right when I knew letting myself be seen and cared for would end badly. At least I know to never do it again.

[eros-kidd]

I wish I could liv out loud in public as if the trauma that happened was allowed to be part of my life. I feel like I live the CSA version of never getting diagnosed

My parents didn't know. I never told a therapist bc Ig that went bad once. I never told a teacher. No one in my family would even believe it happened or that I was as traumatized as I was. I know how they talk about people like me and they call them delusional grudge holders.

I just wanna be open about it. And have my kinks and not get treated as lesser for my pain..and be allowed to flinch. Or get scared or. I wish I didn't have to hide it in my room.but the last time I didn't people.got hurt. People got hurt bc all I could see and hear were ghosts so it's all I could react to. I want to fucking die.

[eros-kidd]

It still scares me being in a position where I can be hurt as much as someone wants and I wouldn't be allowed to tell them to stop. It scares me more knowing one of those people is waiting for the chance to do it now.

But you don't have to I accept that I groomed him and that my assault was my fault. You can't bring me any lower unless you want me dead.

[eros-kidd]

Oh oh ok things are not good I can hear Julian wondering why we were left here and we weren't hon this is ours but. I wish we could sit with someone and let them distract us. So bad.