the ole razzle dazzle

bee | 23 | she/her | {L}GBT+ | poetry grad student | aesthetics + memes + eating the rich

[adandysuggestion]

“Can you explain this gap in your employment?” I must confess I dilly-dallied. Did a bit of this and that. Yes, I lived an ungoverned life of leisure throughout my youth. But I’m a changed man, I’m to be married and my prospective mother-in-law insists I have an annual income of £500,000 or more if I’m to wed her daughter. Rummy luck. My paltry stipend from my father is a mere £40,000 a month. I am attempting to make up the difference by seeking gainful employment for the first time in my life. This sunglass shack is the only establishment that graced me with a callback.

[guerrillatech]

[heartseeker]

i do im celebrating my dogs birthday

shes turning 2

[awbrainno]

I’m also celebrating your dogs birthday

[storms-and-illness]

celebrating tumblr user heartseeker’s dog’s birthday on the fourth everyone

[everythingfox]

Good turt

[utopians]

stepped on a plum (overripe plum) (barefoot) it was on the driveway got out of the car and accidentally (didn't know it was there) stepped on the plum (warm) (on the ground) (it had fallen from the tree) barefoot (no shoes) wearing long pants (too long) (need to hem them) plum viscera got on them (the pants) unexpected plum on the driveway (hot plum) (97 degrees out) already super hungover (throwing up all morning) (should not have been driving at all) and I stepped out of the car (black car) (97 degrees out) and onto the plum (unexpected) (didn't know the plum was there) and it burst (plum nightmare on my only good pair of sweatpants) still we find ways to keep ourselves going from day to day

[utopians]

guess what post just got read aloud in poetry club tonite by an unknowing club member as I watched on in terror

[thehappysmiler]

[thehappysmiler]

favorites

[capricornpropaganda]

There's no reason for any character to be a cop like was Nancy Drew a cop? Naur she was just nosy as hell and I respect that

[capricornpropaganda]

Was Scooby and the gang ringing up the police?? No bc Fred and Shaggy were dodging the draft

[deviatesinc]

From Eye to Eye: Portraits of Lesbians, 1979

photos by JEB

[modogoblin]

[ujustwaitsunshine]

Reminder! Lesbian visibility week means supporting ALL people who identify as lesbians!!! Not just cis women! especially support trans and transmasc lesbians this week! Transmasc ≠ Trans man

[valtsv]

whoever came up with kissing someone's hand as a sign of respect knew what they were doing. slut.

[stolenfromshitheads]

[girlfromenglishclass]

“A modern retelling” oh so you mean worse

[disgruntled-neighborhood-wife]

“A Muppet retelling” oh so you mean better

[c3rvida3]

Got a couple asks about breaking my promise of keeping this blog a positive space, so I wanted to say: I'm sorry for saying that I hope a deer tramples Texas governor Greg Abbott into a pile of hamburger. I only said it because I feel that way and hope that it happens. Love and light.

[thundergrace]

I am.... speechless. Every word of this plot, I can't process it.

[thundergrace]

Every time I read it it's like getting hit and run over by the magic school bus.

[thundergrace]

Oh okay, I thought I had an Adderall-induced insomnia-fueled dream about a queer high school film about two unpopular sapphic girls who start a fight club in order to hook up with cheerleaders.

But it was real. That's a real thing.

[thundergrace]

It's really real for real, y'all

[funnytwittertweets]

[vacuously-true]

Fieri

[jame7t]

I see you’re trapped in my gay and stupid maze again

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[tainbocuailnge]

[farflypants]

[vancrypt-deactivated20230302]