amateur magician.

Your name is JOHN EGBERT. You're 21 years old 18 years old again(thanks to a Magic Anon), you finally moved out of your absolute piece of shit apartment and into a house with your boyfriend. You're a loud mouth which gets you in trouble often, you don't ever think before you SPEAK. You can be a PUSHOVER at times but people often look past that because you're kind of an ASSHOLE. (sometimes nsfw)

[halmablog-deactivated20140213]

[fedoratheexplorer-deactivated20]

is this real life

[owlmylove]

is this just fantasy

[tforgery]

No way…no way

[ejacutastic]

[cloysterbell]

How to make your dreams come true:

1. Make a graham cracker crust.

2. Make some cookie dough.

3. Make some cheesecake batter.

4. Put globs of cookie dough in the cheesecake batter.

5. Pour into a springform.

6. Top with more cookie dough.

7. Bake that shit for 40 minutes at 350 degrees fahrenheit. If patient, go to next step. If you don’t give a fuck, skip directly to step 9.

8. Let chill in fridge for 3 hours or overnight. 

9. EAT THAT BITCH.

[darnni]

I AM DOING THIS

[kitty-maru]

Magicastuck! 

Dave|Photographer

[svart-svart]

[aph-lithuania]

John deserves the gold medal for cutest expressions.

[lesliebensgone-blog]

[darrenpillowscriss]

I love Harry’s face. Everyone else just kind of looks down, all serious, but Harry’s like “The fuck kind of school is this?!?”

[random-irish-girl]

i couldnt stop laughing at this 

[beyonslayed-deactivated20150710]

"feat Nicki Minaj"

*skips to nicki’s verse* 

[moved-5-25-15-blog]

reminder that sticking your fingers up someones ass is a genuine ninja move in naruto

[shortvideosandstuff]

[swoz]

its so fucking fat

[owlgams]

the best duo in the world!

[boyandthebluesky]

[nathanielthomasellis-deactivate]

When people leave food unsupervised in my presence:

[laughingstation]

[cannibal-shakes]

[andrevautour]

[neutralmilkurl]

[purina-deactivated20180613]

Having pets nearby can keep the work day relaxed and fun, which helps you get even more work done!

Submit pics of your pets at work!

[greenpen3]