What people don’t understand with me is that I’ve suffered a lot. I’ve been bullied, abused, discriminated, and being traumatized.
As an only child in the family, I’ve felt the constant pressure especially at the age where I should be earning a lot for me to support my family. Enough earning for them to resigned and for me to invest.
Before and After I graduated in high school, I encountered a lot of problems. But I have a huge pride of being resilient at all times. When I cry for help, no one seems to listen to me. They can hear my story but they will never understand the struggle I’ve been through. I still chose to be that person who’s willing to listen to all of your problems. I chose to be a good friend despite having multiple problems. Minsan nga inuuna ko pa kahit puro kasinungalingan pala at kahit lagpas na sa boundaries ko as a tao. Im not saying this to guilt trip, because to begin with willing ako.
Im not perfect person. I’ve cheated. I passed a trauma to the person that loved me the most.
I’ve taken full accountability and responsibility for all of my actions. Life maybe tough and I may still at my lowest, I suffered the consequences yet I persevered.
But you can never judge my character based on the past mistake that I did. You can never
You all were never a good friend too. Unless, it’s all in your favor. No one even listened to me when I cry for help. Kasi:
- Yung pain niyo lang ang nag mamatter.
- Sa problema niyo lang dapat may pake.
- Kahit ilang trahedya, at muntik na ako mamatay, hindi ako mag mamatter kasi ako ay ako.
- Yung problema at accomplishment niyo lang ang dapat alalahanin at bigyang pansin.
Siguro pangit din na pinalaki yung tampo, dahil nakakadagdag sa pagod. Magiging palaisipan na “nako mag oopen ba ko? Kaso hindi naman din nila maiintindihan. Kaso hindi naman nila ako pakikinggan”.
Sometimes, I wish I was brave enough to stand up for myself and tell you na “ako muna bes. Kasi ganito yung nangyari ganito pinag dadaanan ko hindi ko alam gagawin ko pero salamat pinakinggan mo ko.”
Whether it’s a mistake for me to walk away or not, I know na hindi naman ako kawalan. To tell you all honesty masakit din sa umpisa na naging manhid nalang ako.
I know kasalanan ko rin naman. You have all the right to be mad at me. Right now, im just being firm with all of my decisions.
You’re all beautiful, intelligent, madiskarte and successful na. I miss all of our core memories together and regardless of what happened between our friendship, lagi akong proud sa inyo.
Sorry if im not the “bestfriend” you all thought I was. Sorry kung napagod ako at pinili ko sarili ko. Sorry kung lumayo ako at umalis dahil lang hindi ko na nakikita purpose ko bilang kaibigan niyo. Hindi ko kayo deserved.
But let this be the end of it all. I hope someday we all find peace and genuine happiness in our hearts. Im not even expecting to reunite nor rebuild our friendship. Time may not heal your broken friendship with me, but I do hope and pray that it will heal all of your traumas and pain.
janainaart
snowghoul
blakekathryn
baratheonpilled
kaledo-art
vaporwave
kianamaiart
jbbartram-illu
turnnoffyourmind