🐰

fluorescent adolescent

[eshhhal]

Five: Wait a minute, I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Y/n: Aren't you forgetting something?

*Five gives Y/n a kiss on the forehead*

Y/n: Uh no, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

[thatboisus]

me logging onto tumblr after consuming a new piece of media

[thatboisus]

reading a good ass fanfic up until it said something that just makes you want to stop reading

[sleepy-stars]

yeah….so sad

[ballard96]

[pukingonheartbeat]

save me old man yaoi save me

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

just started watching house and I thought yall were exaggerating but no. every episode is just like three wrong diagnoses that almost kill the patient and then house is like "he has underwater skunk herpes" and they give the guy a new butthole and he's cured. and then house chugs vicodin while talking about wanting to rail wilson.

[eshhhal]

pics you’ve taken of house

[uacademy5]

Kidnapper: I have one of your siblings

Five: Which one? I have six

Kidnapper: The loud, annoying one who never shuts up

Five: Which one? I have six

Diego, *in the distance*: HEY!!!

[thetruedelores]

Five: Next time I'm at the pet store, I'm gonna take a hamster and drop it in the scorpion cage. I wanna see what a hamster's face looks like when it goes, "oh, fuck."

[eshhhal]

Lila : I am not a bad guy! I just have a bad personality, it's not my fault. Some people are born with fucked personalities.

[eshhhal]

Y/n : Klaus, can I take you to my therapist? 'Cause he thinks I'm making you up.

[eshhhal]

Klaus : In my defense, I simply don’t vibe with the law.

[eshhhal]

Klaus : This plan seems complicated.

Luther : To be fair, you once said that about oranges.

Klaus : They don’t make any sense! Apples you eat their clothes, but oranges you don’t?

[eshhhal]

Y/n : I don’t have a resting bitch face. My bitch face is always on duty, ever vigilant. My bitch face will rest when its work is done.

[eshhhal]

five : You know, after I cleaned the food off your face and put you to bed, you said something to me that was pretty scary and dark.

y/n : Mm. Don't tell me.

five : OK, I won't. [pause] I love you, too.

[eshhhal]

young five: [swears loudly]

reggie, overhearing: What are we?

klaus: Heroes not swearoes.

[eshhhal]

Y/n : I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everybody else.