actually delusional

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how am I supposed to go to work tomorrow and act like a normal human being when I just found out that this is how chu wanning looks when he smiles

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I'm going to be SICK. chu wanning as a child saying "no one's ever taken care of me like this before" when mo ran literally just bought him breakfast.

and mo ran being all over the place just because chu wanning said "you're great"

what the FUCK is wrong with these grown men. I'm crying for them this is SO SAD I actually can't stand it

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chu wanning thought he was rejected and went to sit by himself under a tree sadly, listening to the people cheering far away. and then mo ran comes up behind him and they watch fireworks together. MY HEART HURTS. This scene would have the most beautiful fan art I can already imagine it. I'M CRYING THEY'RE SO UGHHH

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no offense but I'm like one book into 2ha and this is actually traumatising for everyone involved including me

so they're like in some evil guy's underground place and there's 4 coins floating in the air. they each grab one. they're all blank except for mo ran's coin which says BLASS.what is blass? it's blood hourglass. what's blood hourglass? it's when they SLOWLY DRAIN SOMEONES BLOOD and use that as a timer.

spiky vines come out of nowhere to try and grab mo ran to use him as a blood hourglass, guess what, chu wanning blocks them with the shoulder that (1) got clawed through by a ghost (2) got lashed like 200 times and was so injured that they could see the bone. chu wanning cries/begs/demands mo ran give him that blass coin, but mo ran doesn't.

so the vines grab mo ran and tie him to ?maybe an actual giant hourglass? (imagery didn't really pull through here) and then a sword stabs him to make him bleed. slowly of course.

then they put the other 3 to sleep, making them have amazing beautiful dreams that they don't want to wake from. and they also switch their souls.

so mo ran is there bleeding out and I think they actively describe how he feels faint and nauseous and stuff, anyway he's just watching his friends sleep there.

shi mei wakes up and comes to save him. but it's actually chu wanning in shi meis body. he tries really hard and has to walk across like a really hot bridge that burns through his shoes, has to climb up the giant hourglass maybe ??? it was really intense in the moment, I just forgot.

anyway mo ran is like "shi mei, I knew it, I knew you'd wake up to save me" meanwhile chu wanning is mentally like shi meis body is so weak I can't do shit in this.

eventually he kinda gives up and they end up hugging or something and CWN also gets more injuries I think. THEN. mo ran confesses his love to shi mei. and CWN is like "I really like you too".

then they all wake up (I feel like I've lost the plot here) and mo ran is like "omg shi mei you woke up first and saved me".

and shi mei is like "I did no such thing I was dreaming of mum and dad".

and chu wanning is like "they must have erased your memory of saving him".

and then they help chu wanning up and mo ran wonders why CWNs feet are injured.

TRAUMA

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"all the things she said" is actually TGCF in the most traumatising way. if you take all the lyrics out of context, they perfectly match each characters shock and pain, and the vibe of the entire book

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I just started reading erha and noooooooo my heart already hurts for chu wanning... the part where his shoulder got torn up but he was still shielding mo ran and endured it all without making a sound, but mo ran could feel him shaking

and then afterwards he started going like "nobody has ever cared about my wellbeing, ill just have to stay strong for everyone, then go home and treat it myself" IM CRYING

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I don't even like shen jiu but then I remembered that he went to brothels bc he only felt safe in the hands of women 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 traumatising

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2026 reading list & reviews ✨🌌

the first year of my life moving out and working full time! starting off by looking for books (yes actual books 🫣) that will make me happy and help me escape reality.

edit: these are actually just recs from my coworkers and they didn't really make me happy or escape reality

the house in the cerulean sea

verity

too late ? I don't get why it's called that tbh.

the housemaid

one by one

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how exceptionally pretty su changhe is in all of su muyu's memories

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those eyes ....

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im freaking OBSESSED. this scene was so tender and unhinged, we got so much tea so early on

su changhe tenderly bandages up su muyu's hand that got sliced when he grabbed a sword to save him like so cute right.. no then he immediately stabs himself. and gong jun whips out his most devastated puppy dog eyes (well justified tbh) and they play tug of war except with the knife in changhe's chest

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just read the freakiest fanfic on lofter. I swear Chinese people have no shame and also don't care for TWs at all

this needs a TW blood and ? cutting?

so su muyu gets poisoned and the only temporary relief is ... su changhe's blood 💀

on one fateful day changhe swaggers into the room and su muyu is like "his scent is so overwhelming... I know who it is even without looking" 😳

changhe is like "time for medicine, honey" and by that he means it's time to cut his arm open for blood. su muyu is like "let me do it, u always cut too deep" SO HE SLITS HIS BROS WRIST and starts drinking his blood .. and not just like medicine ... this was happening very sensually he was going on and on about how he felt dizzy and euphoric.

anyway so they start getting closer and closer and making out very sweetly (not even tgt yet btw), but then su muyu suddenly gets a flare of his poison and changhe cuts his arm open AGAIN with some argument, but then he's like "the pain of u drinking my blood is nothing compared to seeing u hurt." and the whole premise was that su muyu is addicted to his blood??? but I feel like it's not just his blood, more like him in general, bc the way they were acting, no sane, non-obsessed person acts like that.

this was so exhausting. but I love them

https://luojiang37601.lofter.com/post/312f5568_34c8f8615?incantation=rz6UStpMChNk

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so in love with this flashback. changhe's sleepy face when he's putting on his belt, he was so soft and beautiful and there! was! only! one! bed!

the way they look at each other, and gong jun's sad little smile for him 😭😭

why does everyone in the drama ignore su changhe's beauty, he's clearly so gorgeous they should all be falling at his feet and not just bc he killed them all

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so many thoughts about blood river but at the forefront is just SU CHANGHE 🔥🔥🔥 whys he so sexy and hot. and SU MUYU is soooo wifey material. they're so cute together they make me SICK. i love how close they are, and how they only put each other before everything. choking screaming crying at these 2.

it was legit like the second episode and we already see su changhe tenderly bandage up su muyu's hand and then he stabs himself (?!?!) to save su muyu and what does he get in return??? he gets mad extreme puppy dog eyes 🙄

I find it sooo funny how they see the need to broadcast their devotion to each other every 2 seconds and then meaningfully eye each other for 10 whole minutes

also hilarious how they don't take anything seriously. Uncle zhe and su changhe are so funny everyone was fighting and they were just sleeping like dont bother my nap time

why does gong jun give these characters such a good angsty vibe. also he looks SO GOOD in this drama I can't get over it. I bet su muyu's dream is to be a housewife.

also I find it soooo funny how everyone was fighting and then tang lianyue and mu yumo were just flirting in the inn the whole time

ANYWAY chang huasen and gong jun 🔥 I only watched this drama for them and it's turning out so much better than expected considering there isn't even censored bl but they are giving us TEA.

and I love this dark sexy chang huasen BUT please WHERE is shi qingxuan ??? he's the perfect wind master and even has the perfect black water to go along

I'll shut up when they stop looking at each other like that

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not holding back my truth anymore that ✨yang yang is the perfect liu qingge✨ he's exactly what LQG looks like, and has that aura too. maybe he needs to be a bit more socially constipated but that's what acting is for right

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I actually wasn't that into beefleaf after reading TGCF but now I NEED the live action to come out bc THEY LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER WTF

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Luo Binghe: OMGGG shizun offered to share his chips after we hadn't seen each other for so long. he must feel guilty for abandoning me and want me to love him back

Shen Qingqiu: Binghe came towards me and I subconsciously offered him food out of habit