yikes! all vents!

Espurr • He/Him • Vent blog, please be nicesies. I'm posting for my own sake

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And he's still not back. How long has it been? Is he dead?

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I wonder if I'm too depressed now for you to be invested in me

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I think it's hard for them to grasp that, to me, "I'm not doing well" can mean not wanting to be around people at all; it can mean feeling empty and restless when I try to engage in activities I'd normally like

It doesn't just mean I'm slightly snippy or quiet

When I say I have issues around this time it doesn't mean I'm going to be slightly gloomy it generally means I need to basically be on swside watch

So surely, it should be obvious why it'd be in poor taste to harass me to do things with you

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everyone just wants me to do things for them, to do things THEY want, i guess i'm real convenient huh? FUCK OFF

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it's MY birthday but i have to do what YOU want okay okay I SEE

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"i'm bad at keeping surprises" guy seeming to have no surprises to keep #lmao

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5 days w/o oomfs: 😆 5 minutes /w oomfs: ⚰️

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i imagine it like this pulsing black thing covered in veins and slime, lumpy and disgusting like fat and flesh; you can barely see the detail save for reflections of light on its slickness

it's a horrible vile thing like a million tumors

it made me sick, day in, day out, making me dark inside, eating away at everything that's left

it finally comes out, it finally, finally comes out, writhing in front of me with a heartbeat of its own

i realize i have no insides anymore, this was all that was left

it's finally gone, it's finally gone, who cares if i'm gone with it, who cares if i live

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WE CAN FIX THIS!

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I AM WHAT YOU WANT, find me in your vents! ;)

[espurr-bplot]

i imagine it like this pulsing black thing covered in veins and slime, lumpy and disgusting like fat and flesh; you can barely see the detail save for reflections of light on its slickness

it's a horrible vile thing like a million tumors

it made me sick, day in, day out, making me dark inside, eating away at everything that's left

it finally comes out, it finally, finally comes out, writhing in front of me with a heartbeat of its own

i realize i have no insides anymore, this was all that was left

it's finally gone, it's finally gone, who cares if i'm gone with it, who cares if i live

[espurr-bplot]

i want to throw up and feel this fucking thing crawl out of me

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there's something inside me and i can't get it out, why won't someone get it out?

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crying doesn't mean anything, it doesn't feel like anything anymore, i am not a person, i am not alive, i am just a husk waiting to be terminated

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i don't want to be a living person

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is there still something that can make me happy

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i am a tar pit

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You offer your hand, wanting to help

You are a sharp and desperate thing, you only know how to take and be taken from

When he takes it, your claws clamp on his wrist, until the bone breaks

You help him up, he stands beside you

If you mustered the strength to let go, his hand would hang limp by his battered sides

In helping him, you remained the same monster

In his loneliness, he let you believe there was nothing wrong with you