Essays on Mind and Matter

Random rambling writings of a writing rambling man.

[hballegro]

Attacked by very sudden torrential downpour and went to check the weather radar and then remembered this image

[essaysonmindandmatter]

[frasiest]

when you're a professional pirate....

[hauntedradio]

Listen/purchase: The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury read by Zen Josey

[ilexvici]

idk why i dugadid this to myself

[starfleetwitch]

Idk how you did this but this is ART

[panelshowsource]

i'm gonna be real and admit every single time richard and marina talk about u.s. politics i skip the entire segment. something about rich people under the clown show they call the uk government reading 2 cnn articles and then speaking condescendingly about the state of america just... it doesn't sit right and it's certainly not entertainment. and the rest is supposed to be entertainment

[essaysonmindandmatter]

The Last Leg talking about USA politics drives me absolutely mad for similar reasons.

[ts-the-blacksmith]

Lego MOC ship

French Frigate "Saint Germain" - PART 2

designed by TS Kang(@art_house_colts, instagram)

You may enjoy a video about this ship on my YouTube.

(BGM - Jean Marie Leclair, Violin Concerto)

[mein-liebling]

Dragon Age II loading screens

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Being a good person is a choice. Don’t let people fool you into believing that truly good people never have bad thoughts, are never tempted by the easier path, by the low road, never mess up or act out selfishly. Never believe a person can be good without making a conscious effort.

Every single time you do something good, you’ve made a decision to make the world a little brighter.

Goodness is not an inherent trait, it is a choice. Keep making it! I see you, I’m proud of you, and I’m rooting for you!

[essaysonmindandmatter]

"By what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man— or not." The Hospitaller, _Kingdom of Heaven_ (2005)

[liberalsarecool]

We need to rethink the walking city.

[annelisters]

TED LASSO Series 2 Episode 1: Goodbye Earl

[medusaceratops-deactivated20210]

Hey while you're loving elephants: Denver Zoo has two teenage boy elephants and one Old Man Elephant named Groucho, and lately they've had the lads housed with him so he can teach them Proper Elephant Manners like how bulls raise teenage boy elephants in the wild. Bull elephants are apparently very into being parents but due to the matriarichal nature of most herds, they really only get to raise calves after they've hit puberty. My point is, one of the boys was being annoying and chasing rabbits so Groucho came up and jabbed him in the ass with a tusk, the lad ran around the enclosure crying then came back and did a lot of "I'm sorry I'll be good now dad" fawning and it was adorable.

OH MAN SEE SEE SEE i wish we knew so much more about how bull elephants interact with herds and families - we’ve documented bull elephants traveling to matriarchal herds and fake wrestling with male calves, and we’ve documented bulls protecting orphaned calves, but in god’s name i want every in and out about it. everything we know about elephant social interaction is not enough. it’s a Thing that introducing old bulls to a population lowers the amount of younger bulls in musth, also known as the state in which bull elephants desire nothing but murder and possibly sex, but - i want to know the precise mechanisms. old bull elephants teaching younger bulls manners renders me VERKLEMPT. i just wanna know every secret elephants have.

this is incredible though. peak teenage boy. groucho has his hands full and i fucking love him for that. get their asses, groucho.

[gallusrostromegalus]

So from what I understand, as remembered from nature programs and the zookeeper lecture, is that Old Bulls reduce the violence i young bulls by putting them through Elephant Finishing School.

This is better documented in African Elephants than asian ones because they’re easier for elephant biologists to observe by the means of ‘sitting on top of a jeep and taking notes’ but the general scope goes like this:

Elephant herds are largely matriarichal as both a means of protection- elephants have a long childhood and it’s easier to protect calves in a group, AND as a socio-political means of sexual choice.

An African elephant is pregnant for nearly two years, then she spends at least 3-5 years with that calf completely dependent on her, so she only gets a few opportunities to have babies before she hits menopause, and it’s a lot of damn work so she is naturally EXTREMELY picky about who she mates with. And if she’s younger, her mom, sisters and grandmothers will also be real picky about who she mates with and WHEN too- can’t go around risking a teenage pregnancy, especially not with asubstandard male. Elephants also have a pretty clear idea of what they want out of a Male too: they have a marked preference for Large, Old, Socially Adept Males. Large males are HEALTHY males with all thier bones in place and functioning digestive tracts. OLD males are healthy, have good intelligence to stay alive, and have good teeth. Socally Adept Males can make friends, get along with her whole family, won’t engage in dangerous behaviors like trying to kill her calves or grandmothers. It’s a good system that produces robust, intelligent and helpful calves.

This means however, that most female elephants are into Dilfs, or even Gilfs. Which is extremely frustrating when you are a horny teenage boy elephant, so they go a bit nuts with hormones and social isolation and get involved in teenage elephant gangs and do things like murder rhinos out of sexual and social frustration.

BUT! If there are Large, Old, Socially Adept males about, they like being parents too, but are largely pushed out of the role by the matriarichal herds and their strict group politics that exist to prevent unsuitable mating. So They turn thier attention to these violent orphans and like your beloved Batman go “I’m gonna parent the shit outta that.”

They mostly do this by herding the Lads around, pointedly demonstrating Behaviors like “How to dig for roots so you don’t starve” or “How to knock over a tree” or “Greeting a Matriach Properly so she doesn’t sic her descendants on you”, and disciplinary behaviors like “Jabbing naughty Lads in the ass with a tusk” and “Hitting you in the face with a branch until you STOP THAT” . This is WILDLY beneficial for the young males under thier tutelage, who are less likely to die of accidents, and start mating earlier because they’ve had a Suitable Gentleman make introductions for them, like they are fancy men at a regency-era ball being intoduced to the debutantes.

Imagine some Fine and Respectable DILF wandering around adopting teenage delinquents and spraying them in the face with a windex bottle full of vinegar until they learn how to be proper upstanding gentlemen and you’re getting close.

[essaysonmindandmatter]

>Imagine some Fine and Respectable DILF wandering around adopting teenage delinquents and spraying them in the face with a windex bottle full of vinegar until they learn how to be proper upstanding gentlemen and you're getting close.

Isn't this the plot to _Secondhand Lions?_

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

i think the muppets should preform the passion of the christ but as theyre nailing muppet jesus to the cross it makes squeaky toy noises and theyre using rubber mallets

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

mrs piggy for the virgin mary. jesus is the only human in the entire movie. gonzo as john the baptist. beaker as lazurus. thers so much to work with here

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

animal was at the passion of the christ

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

i know we have the eagle guy as pontius pilate but how do we feel about the two old guys

[ma-la-xa]

the penitent and impenitent thieves

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

statler and woldorf “sinner? i barely know ‘er!” while nailed on a cross tell me you dont want to see that. tell me.

[thirddoctor]

Apologise for doing my job? Like hell.

[idkcake]

[thedarklordkeisha]

Calvin is the most relatable protagonist in the history of anything.

[essaysonmindandmatter]

I have become so obsessed with Taskmaster I begin to watch non-English versions, and and I have abandoned the study of philosophy and classical literature for the pithy wisdom of Mark Le Fevre

[piecomic]

New Yorker Cartoon

[essaysonmindandmatter]

This has never been more relevant 

[gallusrostromegalus]

So one of my neighbors has a lawn Roomba or whatever they’re called, and this thing trundles around looking like a background robot in the background of the original trilogy, and ABSOLUTELY BAFFLING THE DOGS.

They have concluded, I think, that it’s some kind of prey animal because right after this video ended they decided to crouch down and stalk it, which means I’m 90% sure I’m going to have to stop Arwen from eating it at some point.

[theodorepython]

Of course it’s a prey animal it fucking eats GRASS

[gallusrostromegalus]

While I can’t fault your reasoning on robot taxonomy, apparently we’re both wrong:  Arwen, as much as she is a high-prey-drive animal, is foremost, a herding dog, and has decided that the Lawn Roomba is a SHEEP.

What happened is the lawn roomba belongs to the guy that does most of the maintainence on the neighborhood park, and he had it out grazing on a different section of lawn when my parents came down for a walk and Arwen was siezed by 200 years worth fo Kelpie Instincts, rolled out of her Harness and proceded to herd the shit out of this tiny, oblivious robot.  

Everything was on display- mock-stalking, intimidating eye contact, barking, running in front of it to try to get it to balk, the scariest barking she can muster (which is actually.  pretty scary if you’re not used to Loud Dogs), looking back at my parents for directions.  or rather, looking at my Mom while Dad tried unsuccessuflly to capture her.

After about ten minutes they realized she wasn’t biting it, and decided to let her play Sheep Simulator 5000 for a while. She eventually figured out that 

It  doesn’t respond to Yelling, Posturing or Aggressive Eye Contact

It does respond to having it’s wheels or bump hazards hit 

It would respond to its side being nosed or slapped by moving in a different direction

Conent that this was apparently some kind of blind, deaf and particularly stupid sheep, she could now manage the robot by smacking it if it got too close to the creek bed or fence for her liking, and was eventually content to sit on the highest point of the field and Supervise ™ it.

“Hey.” Said Roger, owner of the robot. “Do you think if I put the ramp down she’ll herd it into the back of my pickup?”

Arwen was mostly asleep in the afternoon sun as roger put the ramp down but woke right up when mom Whistled, then pointed at the truck.  She immediately went after the robot and did something that wouldn’t have occured to me, an allegedly more intelligent being: the robot is roughly triangular, and when it hits an obstacle, will change direction so that one of its other sides (rather than points) is now the ‘front’.  So to get it to move in a straight line in the direction she wanted, Arwen would smack the two sides of the robot that she didn’t want it to go in in quick sucession, and got it across the field, over a small hill and up the ramp as fast as it’s clumsy little wheels could go.

“I didn’t know you had a fully-trained sheepdog!” Said Roger

“Me either.” said Mom.

So Arwen now has a Semi-Weekly Appointment to play with Sheepbot.

[trebornosnibor]

Well this is just beguiling

[elodieunderglass]

It also just goes to show that all the dudes who have fretted about the Robot Apocalypse for generations needed to hang out outside with dogs more

[essaysonmindandmatter]

_Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep_ finally gets its answer- “Only if they’ve been walking their sheepdog to work”