Low effort meme that made me and @maanmelk cackle:

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Keni
Claire Keane
RMH

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Sade Olutola

#extradirty
will byers stan first human second
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Three Goblin Art

pixel skylines
Cosmic Funnies
sheepfilms
dirt enthusiast
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
NASA
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Game of Thrones Daily
Mike Driver
YOU ARE THE REASON

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@ethanthegeek
Low effort meme that made me and @maanmelk cackle:
Rook can’t think, you guys.
They have no functioning brain cells at the moment. Only a handful of soggy paper, and the silent scream going on and on and on in their head.
Bellara has covered her mouth with her hands in silent horror. Neve is pinching the bridge of her nose to stave off a headache. Lucanis is cursing softly and constantly under his breath, and Davrin is apparently changing colors from the interested way Assan is watching him and chirping in concern.
Taash… hmm. Rook could have sworn Taash was just here. Oh well. They have bigger problems.
“Look,” says Harding, pacing back and forth and trying to be reasonable. She’s been trying to be reasonable for five minutes. “It’s just a book, right? Emmrich isn’t going to kill Assan, or Davrin over a book. Right?”
Everyone stares at her, and the dwarf shrinks a little.
“…maybe we can replace it?” She offers.
Yeah. That’s a good idea. They’ll replace it. Emmrich doesn’t ever have to know.
“That depends on which book it was,” Bellara says. “Some of them are irreplaceable.”
“Well let’s hope its not one of those,” Neve says and tries her best to examine the wad of wood pulp in Rook’s hands.
Several tense moments pass.
“Which one is it?” Lucanis asks.
Neve purses her lips. “All I can make out is part of the cover…”
She looks up at them in despair, “…1st edition.”
Bellara chokes. The screaming in Rook’s head turns up a notch. And Lucanis says something so filthy it makes Harding blush.
Davrin sinks to his knees and gathers Assan into a hug. The griffon squawks in surprise.
“It’s okay, boy. We had a good run.”
There’s no way this could possibly get worse.
Behind them comes an innocent hiss, and they all turn to see Manfred, peering curiously at them.
…there is one way this could possibly get worse.
Spite Loves...
Manfred needs new boots, you guys.
“I don’t understand it!” Emmrich says. “What do you keep doing with them?”
Manfred wriggles his bare skeleton toes and hisses unconcernedly.
“At least he brought one of them back this time,” Rook points out.
“That still doesn’t solve the mystery of where the other has got too.”
Mystery? Manfred perks up. He likes mysteries.
“Well we’ll just have to go to the converged city and have another one made,” Rook says practically. “Do you have his measurements?”
“You’re not fooling anyone you know. We stop in the converged city on every mission now because you need that popcorn that wisp makes. Of course I have his measurements.”
“It’s good, and you always eat half of it! Let’s go. See you, Fred!” Rook calls out, dragging Emmrich from the room.
Manfred does not mind. He has a Mystery to solve.
But when he gets to Neve’s room she is busy.
“I’m sorry, Fred. I can’t play with you right now. Why don’t you go find Assan?”
Manfred is ecstatic. Not only does Neve trust him to solve this Mystery on his own, she trusts him to lead his own team.
He selects a few of Neve’s more persistent wisps to accompany him, and goes in search of the griffon.
He finds him gnawing on a stone.
Hissing in alarm, Manfred immediately pulls him away from it. Emmrich has lectured him long and hard about the importance of good dental hygiene. And chewing things like rocks is RIGHT OUT. “Skulls with a full set of teeth are hard to come by, Manfred,” he always said.
Still, Assan is obviously having growing pains in his beak and needs something to gnaw on. Otherwise he’ll never be able to concentrate on the Mystery.
Manfred thinks. He can’t use one of his bones. He needs them. And Emmrich would be most unhappy.
Aha! Hissing in triumph he pulls the boot off of his left foot and gives it to Assan. The griffon takes it happily and they set off to solve the Mystery.
It’s alright. They’re bringing him a new boot anyway.
The new GHOST single landed yesterday. Temporarily insane, I drew this. It's not just me, right...?
(The peak of my artistic career, honestly.)
Ok - are we all feral for PeePaw and Ghost?
reblog if you over-identify with the sad pantry man, lucanis dellamorte
I see we’re once again discussing Emmrich being a weird little freak. Color me inspired.
Not only is his best friend a failed lich with a Warhammer 40K obsession, but this man decides that the perfect way to woo Rook is by taking them to meet his parents. Who are, surprise surprise, very dead. On their first not-quite-date. And then he smooches them. Rook, not the corpses. (But, let’s be real, that clarification was needed.)
Volkarin crying after sex isn’t even up for debate. It’s established fact at this point. He gets laid and then immediately has a full-body, emotionally devastating breakdown. Just raw, ugly sobbing in the afterglow. Wet dick, wet eyes. Every. Single. Time. What a sweetheart. Love him.
He’s creepy, he’s sentimental, he’s 50-something, and sure, he’s a tenured professor and a respected Fade expert, but let’s not pretend he’s normal. This is the same guy who makes his friends’ spouses go, “Jonathan, please. Do we have to invite Emmrich fucking Volkarin? He’s gonna show up with seventeen different gifts because he couldn’t pick one, and then he’ll find a skeleton in the backyard and start whispering to it while we’re just trying to have brunch.”
His family died young, so he just said fuck it and built one out of actual bones. Now he has Manfred, and if anyone has a problem with that? Too bad. Here’s some tea, Manfred likes steam :)))
He wants an eternal flame, the bury me with my beloved fantasy, and most likely kids. This man is so dad-coded it’s beautiful. Rook, please, give this man a daughter so he can have tea parties with her and sue a parent-toddler bonding class (where the unspoken rule is that it’s for moms) just so he can attend. The instructor will be like, “Welcome, mamas! :))) ….and Emmrich.”
Good for him. I hope he cries his entire heart out post-orgasm every night while infodumping about the Fade and his favorite embalming fluids. Kiss him sloppy style, Rook, his face and his dick. He deserves it.
typical night in the Grand Necropolis circa 9:22
Is it awkward to rage quit a DnD game when you’re the DM or?
5e classes as text posts, part 1
artificer:
barbarian:
bard:
cleric:
druid:
fighter:
monk:
The Phantom: Noir - Luca Erbetta
I need you guys to know that my fiend patron wanted to get my sweet little tiefling warlock a puppy. So she has a Hell Hound. He is a heckin’ good boy.
His name is Cerberus but everyone calls him Care Bear 🐻
I need you guys to know that my fiend patron wanted to get my sweet little tiefling warlock a puppy. So she has a Hell Hound. He is a heckin’ good boy.
"Now, I’ve been trying and trying to write something profound and poetic to describe this scent, but this really is a perfume about raccoons schtupping. For the bulk of the US, February is the harbinger of Raccoon Sexytimes, and for the next month my whole family will get woken up by the thumps and squeals of frantically lusty raccoons using our roof as a No Tell Motel."
This is one of the many reasons I love BPAL.
@festival-of-pudding @ethanthegeek
Taliesin Jaffe on L.A. By Night
glad we’re all on the same page
Taliesin Jaffe: Mortal for tax purposes
this is the co-creator of D&D 5e. i just want to point that out, this isn’t some random guy tweeting this. this is official staff.
W…what classes were they?