( euphoria, stranger things, bridgerton, house of the dragon, wednesday, alice in borderland, the last of us, the hunger games, the bear, mcu, rivals, harry potter, the pitt )
she/her. bi. 21. sag ☼ spain
english isn't my first language.
📝 CURRENTLY WRITING FOR: jack abbot (the pitt), bucky barnes (marvel)
📬 REQUEST STATUS: OPEN !
## M O S T R E C E N T W O R K S (07.05.2025)
❥ BRING YOUR BUCKY TO SCHOOL DAY (fluff) (BUCKY BARNES)
❥ A PLACE FOR YELENA (fluff. angst) (BUCKY BARNES)
a/n - just a quick scenario i wrote with jack abbot and car sex :p it's been a minute since i've written smut so, i'm sorry if this sucks. also my requests are open for jack !!
𓂃 𓈒 ❀ jack felt like a teenager again. he thought the phase of fucking in the backseat of his car was gone decades ago. yet there he was, one of his big hands holding your waist, guiding your rhythm, while the other one rested at the base of your neck. you reached up, your fingers wrapping around his wrist to steady yourself as you arched your body and leaned your back against the back of the driver's seat. the angle was just perfect, tilting your hips just right to let him bury himself as deep as possible and hit that perfect spot every time.
jack sat back against the backseat, his gaze fixed on the part where your bodies met. he couldn't look away, watching himself disappear inside you, swallowed up by your pussy before he pulled back to the very tip, only to slide right back in.
you were sure the car was rocking in perfect sync with your rhythm. anyone standing close enough would be able to notice it and hear the sounds behind the fogged up windows.
a low groan escaped jack's lips every time you sank down. his sounds contrasted with your sharp and breathless moans. he loved the sound of you, jack loved being able to hear exactly what he was doing to you, but he loved even more the sight of you. the way your lips parted as you gasped for air, the desperate movement of your hips as you rode him, the thin layer of sweat covering your face, how your legs shook but kept going anyway, the way you squeezed your eyes shut...
—look at me, —jack moaned, his hand at the base of your neck tightened.
you whined before locking your eyes onto his, vulnerability written across your broken expression. if he wasn't the most perfect man ever...
working in different shifts has been hard to balance. at the end of the day, your relationship with jack had been resumed to notes on the kitchen counter, exhausted texts between rounds and hours of sleep in an empty bed while the other worked. so you had managed this little routine when you could head out of work on time. jack would wait for you in his car, in the darkest place in the hospital's parking lot.
you usually had a few minutes before jack had to go in, yet you always managed to get a couple more minutes from him. he was jack abbot, no one was going to tell him nothing about being late anyways.
the first thing you did when you jumped onto the backseat with him was taking his scrubs shirt off, desperate to feel his hard chest under the palm of your hands. he had to go into the hospital right after, he couldn't risk walking through those sliding doors soaked in sweat, smelling of you... jack on the other hand wanted you naked. he didn't want a single inch of fabric hiding your body from him.
his hands slid beneath your shirt, pushing the fabric up.
—help me, —jack growled, —get it off. i need you out of this.
you didn't need him to tell you twice. you lifted your arms, letting him pull the fabric over your head. his lips connected with yours while his hands worked blindly behind your back.
with a very skilled fingers, he unhooked your bra and slid the straps down your arms. his mouth traveled down, leaving wet kisses all the way down your chest to your nipples. you arched your back against him, his tongue swirling around your aching peak before sucking it deep into his mouth while his thumb rubbed over your other one.
—jack, oh god... —you whimpered. your fingers, previously knotting in his hair, now working on the hem of his scrub pants to free his cock.
you removed yourself from him so you could take off your pants and underwear. jack let out a impatient groan at the sudden loss of contact. the sight of you completely naked in the low light of the parking lot made his chest rise and fall with deep hungry breaths.
—get back over here, —he demanded as he reached out, his hands grabbing your hips to pull you right back over his lap.
jack was rock hard, his cock resting heavy against his stomach, leaking at the tip . you guided yourself over, his hands holding your hips as you sank down, taking every thick inch all at once. jack's head fell back against the seat as he groaned. you pressed the palm of your hand against his stomach.
—god, you're so tight, —jack choked out.
no matter how many times you'd taken him, no matter how wet you were, your body always squeezed him. the sensation of your pussy stretching around him made jack grit his teeth, trying to maintain control as you chose the pace.
—i missed you, —you gasped against his mouth.
—i know, —he mumbled as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling deep, —i know, baby. i'm right here. hold on to me now.
his hips pushed upward in heavy thrusts. you couldn't hold it back and a loud moan came sharp from your throat, mixing with the wet sounds of skin slapping. jack's pace was fast now, feeling how your walls were squeezing him tight even more.
—yeah... —he sighed. his gaze fixed on the part where your bodies met, and a white ring was forming at the base of his cock, —that's it, baby, take it.
—do it, come for me, —jack growled, —want you to go home full of my cum and keep it in all night.
he didn't slow down to let you breathe. instead, he pushed his cock impossibly deeper and groaned as he bucked hard one last time, spilling himself inside you. you clenched around him and he knew you were almost there. his thumb rubbed your clit with his cock still buried deep inside you, keeping his hot cum inside you.
—jack... jack, please, —you gasped, not even sure what you were begging for. you tried to escape his hand but he didn't stop until your knees were locking around his hips. you threw your head back along with your hand to grip the headrest of the diver's seat.
jack watched you as you caught your breath, his own chest rising and falling. one of his hands landed on your belly and went around your body to the small of your back.
—you okay? —he traced soothing circles on your skin. you could only nod. jack added, —need to hear you say it, baby.
—i'm okay, jack, —you reassured him, —it was perfect.
he nodded, leaning to plant a sweet kiss in the middle of your mouth, —you want me to drive you home?
—no, —you whispered, —i can do it myself, besides, you should probably get to work.
jack groaned because he knew you were right, but neither of you made a move to remove yourself from his lap. jack wrapped both arms around your waist, pulling you against his chest and burying his face in the crook of your neck. that was his favorite scent ever.
—could you not put your clothes on until i'm gone? i get sad watching you get dressed.
no offense but your fics are very hard to read since you use — and not “” (which is the correct way to signify dialogue) making it harder to identify when someone is actually speaking vs prose.
again. no offense just an fyi.
hii!! i don't wanna come up as rude but i've explained this like a million times already. i'm from SPAIN. here we don't use quotation marks for dialogues, we use LONG DASHES. i already make huge effort writing in english so don't ask me to change the way i write too, pleaaase
synopsis – working in the pitt is already chaotic, but do it on the valentine's day week is even worse, especially when a pink box covered in glitter suddenly appears in the nurses' station, inviting everyone to drop an anonymous note. you never expected to write one, not for your attending, jack abbot. what you expected even less was jack writing one too.
c/w – medical inaccuracies !!
fluff
dana and emma had gone completely insane decorating the er.
pink and red heart balloons floated from the ceiling, curling ribbons dangled low enough to brush people's heads when they walked by, paper hearts were taped onto computer monitors, chocolate bowls appeared at every nurses' station. emma had been sticking tiny sticker hearts onto everyobody's id and dana had decorated the wheelchairs with pink bows.
the whole er looked aggressively cheerful against the usual chaos of the place.
and there was also a box.
a pink glittered box sitting right in the middle of the nurses' station that looked at you with guilt every time you walked by it. it shouldn't have been possible for a inanimate object to look judgmental, but somehow dana had managed for it to do so. there was the name written across the front in giant letters:
PAGING DR. VALENTINE
you laughed the first time you read it, and santos looked at you like you had officially lost it. next to the box sat different stacks of heart shaped little papers of three colors. pink for doctors, red for surgeons and white for nurses. underneath the tittle, in smaller handwriting, were the instructions:
pick a color.
write your anonymous love message.
drop it in the box.
half the er pretended not to care yet everyone was always paying attention to anyone that came close enough to the box. people slowed down when they walked past it and lingered at the nurses' station longer than necessary to have an excuse to stay close while someone folded a heart shaped paper and dropped inside the box.
javadi had been its first victim, she was pacing around it like a lost deer when everyone saw her picking a white paper heart and the entire day everyone spent it talking about her and, apparently, mateo. after seeing javadi mortified the whole day, nobody approached the confession box without witnesses which was exactly why you hadn't touched it.
since you first noticed the box, your eyes caught on it, and every single time, dana caught you looking.
—you still haven't put one in, —she accused you behind a chart.
you let out a laugh, leaning against the counter, —not planning on doing it.
—smart girl. this is hr paperwork waiting to happen, —jack appeared behind you, dropping a new chart onto dana's desk without slowing down.
—excuse you, this is team bonding, —she scoffed to him.
but jack was already walking away, barely glancing back, —this is exactly how lawsuits start.
—you still need to participate, abbot! —dana called after him
—hard pass!
you watched him leave. fresh out of trauma one, navy scrubs, sleeves pushed up his forearms, moving through the er with all the confidence in the world. he gave a single nod to a nurse as she passed him, said something to a patient that made her laugh, then disappeared around the corner.
dana looked up from her chart and you realized that maybe you'd been staring at jack too much. she smiled, then slightly pushed the glittery box toward you, —you know it doesn't have to be a love confession, most of these people have written words of encouragement to fellow coworkers...
you hummed like you weren't listening.
—but... —dana continued, moving papers around like she wasn't actively trying to ruin your life, —if you happen to have something to say to someone... —she looked at you over the top of her glasses, —this might be a good opportunity.
you shook your head, trying to ignore the sudden warmth growing on your face, —you can be incredibly nosy, you know?
she hissed through her teeth and nodded, —been spending to much time with perlah and princess. now i notice tension everywhere.
—there's no tension.
dana looked at you dead in the eyes.
—on your way out? —jack asked.
he spotted robby leaning on the counter at the charge nurse's station and assumed he was signing paperwork before living for the night. the er had finally fell into the night shift's pace, the waiting room was almost empty, lena had taken over dana's place and you left not long after the shift change.
but when jack got closer to robby, he realized his friend was writing carefully on a little heart shaped paper next to the glitter box.
—seriously?
robby didn't even look up, —don't distract me now. this is actually turning out beautifully.
jack noticed the color of the paper heart. despite acting like he couldn't care less about the whole valentine's day, he unfortunately knew what all colors meant.
—why's it white?
—well, i appreciate nurses, and dana put a lot on effort on this, i don't want her to not receive any messages.
jack crossed his arms against his chest, —i also appreciate nurses.
robby laughed and jack frowned. he finally folded the heart made of paper and dropped it into the box. robby clapped on jack's shoulder.
—we all know you appreciate residents more. so grab a red one and write something nice, okay?
what if you did it? the thought appeared one afternoon as you helped jack. he had just arrived for his shift and was catching up on cases before the change to the night shift. you stood beside him, updating a chart while he spoke to a patient, asking how he was feeling. jack walked to the check the monitor, grey curls perfectly messy and stethoscope hanging loose around his neck.
your eyes moved to the nurses' station for a second.
it wouldn't even have to mean anything serious, he hated that damn box anyways, maybe he wouldn't even bother reading it. besides, no one would have to know it was you. you could pretend you could pretend you accidentally dropped the stack of red little heart shaped papers and grab one while you picked them up.
what if he did it? no. it was stupid. he was too old for this. he should just ask you out like the grown man he was instead of thinking about anonymous valentine notes like a teenager. and yet, he imagined himself writing something simple, something that would make you smile when you read it. you were focused on the chart in your hands, humming at the patient's words. your eyes looked a little darker, tiredness sitting under them after a long shift and a pen tucked behind your ear because you kept losing it every other hour.
jack's eyes moved from you to the nurses' station.
nobody would have to know he did it. he was sure that you'd receive more than one note and that was why he was so pissed off about that pink glittery box. he noticed how the patients your age looked at you, how new residents followed you around and how nurses and paramedics said something nice while handing over patients.
his note would disappear into a pile of other anonymous notes from people who noticed the exact same things he did. it irritated him more than it should have. he was too old to be jelous.
except, apparently not.
—this is all yours, —you handed jack the updated chart, — and i'm leaving, my shift ended like an hour ago. if you see robby, tell him to not stay any later.
he took the chart from your hands, fingers brushing yours, —you sure you don't wanna stay?
—you asking me to work overtime or hang out with you?
—which answer gets you to stay?
you laughed and jack seemed pretty satisfied with himself for causing it. you shook your head, —goodnight, abbot. have fun.
jack watched you disappear, heard your quiet goodbye to lena at the front desk, caught one last look of you pushing your hair back as you stepped outside. then you were gone and he almost tripped walking to the pink box, as if he hesitated a second long, he'd talk himself out of it.
he left the chart in his hands on top of the red paper hearts and grabbed a couple, even though jack only needed one. he moved to his desk with the chart and the heart shaped papers, quickly, before somebody saw him, or worse, before he came to his senses.
jack dropped onto the chair at his desk and shoved one of the red paper heart from under the chart.
—damn abbot, you took multiple. how many people do you plan to write, —robby slid with his chair from his desk to jack's, —or how many notes do you plan to write to her?
jack didn't look up, pen almost freezing on the paper, —i have terrible handwriting.
—that's the excuse we're using?
—it's the only one you're getting.
what the hell was he even supposed to write?
he could't do a full love confession, not on a tiny piece of paper without his name on it. jack didn't want to say something that could've come from literally anyone in the department. anyone could tell you you were pretty, anyone could say you were kind, and smart, and... jack groaned and dropped his head into one hand. the problem wasn't writing the note, it was that when he started to think about what he truly wanted to say to you, it stopped sounding anonymous.
you arrived the next morning. february 14th.
dana and emma planned to open the box and hand out the notes to their owners during the shift change at 7 pm, when everyone was there, and yet you still hadn't gathered the courage to write something for jack. all week you'd al most done it but every single time, fear won, but today you woke up differently, braver, maybe because after today the box would disappear and everything would go back to normal.
before you could overthink it, you walked straight to the nurses' station and sat at dana's desk. god knows where she was but she'd understand. she's been a pain in the ass about it all week anyway.
you were analyzing the er from the charge nurse's place, half hidden on the spot. everyone was distracted enough for nobody to notice when you slowly dragged the heart shaped red paper from the counter and slid it in front of you. it shouldn't take you long, you knew exactly what you wanted to write, it's not as if you hadn't been thinking about it the whole week.
—i've been replaced as the day shift charge nurse and nobody had told me, —dana said, leaning on the counter, coffee in hand, as you sat half hidden in her station.
you tried to cover the red heart you were writing in as if you'd been caught doing something illegal. dana laughed.
—you know? it's good you decided to finally do it, honey.
—i don't know, i still might throw it away.
—oh, you better not. he's a little grumpy but he's gonna love it.
you lowered your eyes back to the note. the words you wrote felt too vulnerable now that somebody beside you knew they existed.
—breathe. it's cute, —dana's expression softened as she showed you a smile, —and now finish it, give me back my seat and get back to work.
you laughed and mumbled a yes, boss. you read the words on the heart paper one more time, checking that they weren't too cheesy or too obvious they were from you, which felt impossible because every sentence sounded like you. if you could hear yourself in those words, maybe jack would too.
before you folded the paper, you added a tiny heart by his name.
—okay, everyone, just a minute of your precious time!
dana's voice cut through the noise of the er loud enough for half of the department to turn around to look. she stood holding the glitter covered box and emma stood beside her. you came out of a patient room just as everyone stated gathering around them because despite all the mocking, everyone wanted to know.
across the er, jack looked at the scene leaning against a wall, robby next to him, looking far too entertained by what was about to happen.
emma started sorting the little papers by their colors on dana's counter. pink into a plie, white into a another and red...
—oh, —emma said. the entire er watched, waiting to see what caught her attention. she stared down into the box for another second before reaching inside. then, she pulled out two folded red hearts , —there's only two red.
dana exclaimed something about people in the department being boring and then something about nobody being in love with doctors because they are so emotionally exhausting. you wanted to run, preferably straight into oncoming traffic. somehow it felt like every single person in the department had already figured it out. your face burned hot yet you crossed your arms to stop yourself from visibly panicking.
—one is definitely abbot's, —trinity mumbled beside you, —if not the two of them.
—huh?
—abbot. everyone is crazy about him.
you nodded because yeah, you weren't definitely one of them. trinity kept staring across the er toward jack where he leaned against the wall beside robby, looking unimpressed by the entire valentine situation. which, unfortunately, only made him more attractive somehow.
—what do you think? —trinity asked
you swallowed, —i mean... he's cute and always nice, and...
—about the notes, —she clarified, trying not to laugh, —who do you think they're for?
—oh, —you cleared your throat, moving your eyes away from jack across the er, —yeah, one could be for dr. abbot, and the other one...
emma called your name with a smile.
several heads turned immediately to look at you, including dana's who looked moments away from ascending spiritually. you, on the other hand, were moments away from cardiac arrest. your entire body went stiff, heart hammering so hard against your chest.
emma still held the heart shaped note between her fingers, smiling, waiting for you to go an get it.
trinity gave you a little shove forward and your feet obeyed her. you showed emma a small smile back and mumbled a soft thank you as you grabbed the paper from her hands.
—well done, —robby mumbled next to jack side, a little teasing.
jack didn't answer. he just wished he could see your face as you read the note. unfortunately, you went back to your place back to santos and now all he could see was your back, though he wasn't gonna complain. santos had tried to peek once and you'd elbowed her and put the note inside your pocket. jack was trying to keep his composure, he tried not to think about whether if your silence was good or bad.
—dr. abbot, —emma announced next. again, the biggest smile on her face. in her hand sat the last red heart.
he pressed his lips together to everyone looking at him. as he approached emma, dana and robby exchanged a look. dana tilted her head toward you and robby immediately nodded toward jack. and at that moment they both knew, you had written jack's and jack had written yours.
—okay! fun for the doctors is over! now get back to work! —dana said as emma keep calling nurse's and surgeon's names.
you grabbed the note from your pocket as you walked to see the next patient, checked that nobody was paying attention and then you unfolded it:
i don't do valentine's day, but i'd love to take you out for dinner,
it was simple, just a few words, but they made your heart did a little jump after reading it. you stared at the note for another second while walking down the hallway, rereading it and biting back a smile while you tried to regain some professionalism before seeing your next patient. at least this had helped you to ease the panic of being one of the two people that had written to a doctor, to jack nonetheless. you put the note inside your pocket again as you pressed the hand sanitizer dispenser.
—oh! —you said when you stepped into the room, —dr. abbot.
—hi, —he said, turning off the monitor.
—where's the patient?
—robby took her to the scanner
you nodded, —i wanted to check up on her before leaving.
—well, she should be here in... fifteen minutes, —he checked the watch on his wrist.
you hummed. there were a few seconds of silence as you watched him work. you'd seen him like this hundreds of times before but you could never get used to jack abbot doing the most ordinary things because somehow he remained so attractive.
—someone wrote you, —he pointed out.
you pressed your lips together and nodded. you couldn't deny your heart did a little something when jack mentioned it, —yeah, —you murmured, —apparently.
jack frowned a little, —you didn't expected it?
you let out a breath, —well, not really. but let's talk about you, someone also wrote you, it's surprising that only one person did though... —you laughed, —i thought you'd receive like at least twenty of them.
—i don't think it's surprising you received a valentine letter.
you blinked, jack continued rearranging the tray with everything he'd need to treat the patient once she arrive but he lifted his eyes to yours from what he was doing.
—everyone likes you, —he added.
—jack.
—what? it's true. patients ask about you when you're off shift, nurses fight over schedules with you, half of the department looks happier when you walk by.
you shook your head, trying to laugh it off despite the funny feeling in your stomach. did he really notice all of that? —you're being dramatic.
—you also draw little hearts everywhere. on langdon's coffee cup, on kids charts sometimes, on your own name on the schedule...
heat rushed to your face, making your earns burns. god, how could you have been so stupid?
—and on my valentine's note too.
you covered your face with your hands, groaning into your palms as the memory hit you again and it physically hurt you. sitting at dana's desk this same morning, looking around to make sure nobody was watching, carefully writing jack's name on the note and then adding the tiny heart beside it like an idiot. you had literally signed your own crime scene.
when you removed your hands from your face, still visibly embarrassed, you saw the look on his face. jack was watching you with a little sparkle on his eyes. got you, he thought.
—i'm sorry, jack. it was just... some stupid thing i did without thinking. i didn't mean it to come out weird or...
—it's okay, —he made a little gesture with his hand, brushing the apology like it didn't matter at all, —i wrote yours anyways.
you blinked, the words taking a second to register through the panic, —wait. you... what? —you reached inside the pocket of your scrubs and pulled out the note, —you wrote this?
—i do hate the box, i must say, —jack admitted, —and i am way too old to be dropping anonymous notes into valentine boxes like a teenager, but as much as i tried to ignore it, i couldn't stop thinking about you.
you wanted the room to open a hole in the floor and swallow you whole, just because you've been wanting to hear this for such a long time that now you didn't know what to do with the fact that jack abbot was standing just a few feet away from you admitting he thought about you often. your heartbeat was so out of control you swore he could heard it.
—sorry, i didn't mean to corner you with it, —jack said after not getting a response from you, —you don't have to say anything back.
—i'd love to go on a date with you.
jack frowned, a bit confused, and it made your stomach drop. oh no. you looked down at the note in your hands, —the dinner, —you clarified, —oh, i mean... if you didn't think about it like a date, i'd still...
jack didn't let you finish.
—i totally thought about it as a date.
you smiled, relieved, the tension leaving your body finally, —okay, —you laughed under your breath, —good.
—good, —jack repeated, —but now you should probably go home and sleep. i'd inform you tomorrow about your patient.
you nodded. he removed his gloves and tossed them into the trash. jack reached past you, his shoulder brushing yours as he grabbed the handle of the door and opened it, the chaos of the er on the other side of it but neither of you moved. you stood there, trapped in the space between him and the door frame.
with jack standing closer than ever, you could feel the heat radiating from his body, the sexy wrinkles under his eyes, the scruff at his beard matching his salt and pepper hair... your eyes dropped, moving to his lips for just a second. a small smile appeared on them and jack looked outside the room to check if anyone was looking at both of you. after making sure that everyone was busy, he gave you a nod.
you bit your lip and also gave a quick look outside before leaning in and pressing your mouth against his. one of your hands landed against his hard chest for support and his instantly left the door handle and wrapped around your waist, even if the kiss only lasted a couple of seconds.
when you pulled away, you smoothed down your scrub and finally stepped back into the hallway. jack followed you out of the patient room, one hand rubbing his jaw as if he was also trying to collect himself too. he watched you very closely as he walked to the nurses' station. jack actually couldn't stop looking at you as you stopped santos on her way out and told her to wait for you.
jack leaned against the counter, eyes still locked on yours as you disappeared down the hallway to the lockers. dana looked at him over the top of her glasses.
synopsis – at what moment did jack show up in the er wearing his swat uniform! now you'll have to deal with everyone's comments and stares on your ridiculously hot boyfriend and tease him until you can reassure yourself that he's only yours.
c/w – medical inaccuracies !!
smut (suggestive), fluff
my last jack abbot fic
the er had finally settled into something almost calm after jack appeared in his swat uniform. the moment you and santos spotted him pushing the stretcher, barking orders, asking for a trauma room, you both left whatever you'd been doing and moved behind robby. the two of you, however, were motivated by very different things. santos wanted the adrenaline rush of a trauma case and you just wanted to see your boyfriend for five minutes after the long fucking day you'd had.
the first thing that caught your eye was the uniform.
that uniform. oh my god.
tactical gear stretched over his broad shoulders while the vest pressed across his chest. the radio clipped near his shoulder crackled with noise while he kept moving through the er like he owned it. and the worst part? he looked offensively good in it.
you gave jack a quick look from head to toe while pretending to remain professional which, a part of you, was being. no visible blood on him, no limp, no obvious injuries. wonderful. you could breathe and finally focus on thirst over the uniform while helping stabilize his patient.
but now, the chaos had died down and santos had vanished the second reports entered the conversation which left you standing beside robby in front of the computer inside the trauma room.
you pointed at something in the screen and commented on everything, trying very hard to stay distracted from the fact that your boyfriend was standing just a few feet away in a uniform that should be illegal. beside you, robby typed lazily, glasses lower on his nose, clearly entertained.
—you have to change the time of arrival, —you muttered, eyes glued to the screen, —and if you keep letting me do all the work here, i'm gonna report you for administrative negligence.
robby huffed a laugh, —you've become emotionally attached to this report because it's stopping you from climbing abbot like a-
—if you finish that sentence, i'll unplug the computer.
robby's smile only widened.
it shouldn't be this distracting, you saw jack every day, worked for him, had the key to his apartment, slept on his bed more nights than on your own lately, and woke up wrapped in between his arms. jack was yours, yet somehow that uniform always managed to turn your legs into jelly.
you forced your eyes back onto the screen, trying to ignore the low sound of jack's voice talking to dr. al-hashimi.
—we should grab a beer sometime, share war stories, —jack said.
you and robby looked at each other and you shook your head slowly, a silent don't start, but robby was already lifting his eyebrows at you and nudging you with his elbow, —your man over there is inviting other women out.
you kept your eyes fixed on the computer screen, —his therapist said he needs social interactions.
—i think you're one step away from challenging dr. al-hashimi to a hand to hand combat.
you rolled your eyes, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a real reaction.
robby always did this. he enjoyed way too much teasing you anytime a patient looked twice at jack or a new nurse flirted too openly with him. and the most frustrating part was jack's total lack of intent. he was handsome. there was no denying on that. he always tried to be nice with everyone, calm under pressure, and unfairly attractive even after twelve hours in the er.
and women noticed him. of course they did.
and you didn't care because at the end of the day, jack still came home with you.
but jack was also painfully naive sometimes. he genuinely thought everyone was just being friendly and the problems was that he was friendly back. always attentive, leaned in when people spoke to him, held eye contact, smiled at the right moments... he was a magnet who thought he was just a piece of metal.
and you quickly noticed it.
jack abbot was a natural flirt.
everything he did came out wrong.
or right. depending on who you asked.
and robby, of course, was who had more fun with it. he treated your relationship with jack like his own personal entertainment and he had the right to do that after months of watching the two of you dance around each other.
you eyes darted outside to the hallway outside the trauma room, searching for a escape route and like a miracle, dr. mckay happened to walk by at the perfect moment. you almost let out a sigh.
—oh, i think dr. mckay needs me-
—hey!
—... but you take care of the rest of that report!
cassie was more than happy to help you escape robby. as you followed her around, she mentioned seeing your man arrive in uniform earlier. she also let out a dramatic oof that made you hit her arm but cassie looked completely unapologetic about it.
but she was not the only one. you heard nurses whispering, paramadics stopping to stare when jack walked through the ambulance's door earlier and at one point, you overheard a patient lying on a stretcher ask if he could specifically be attended by the hot swat doctor.
apparently your boyfriend showing up in full uniform had become the event of the day.
once you were done helping cassie, you leaned against the nurses' station, —do you know where jack is?
dana didn't even look up from the chart she was updating, —dr. abbot, —she corrected you automatically.
you rolled your eyes, —do you know where dr. abbot is?
—much better, —she flipped through another page while you drummed your fingers against the counter. dana finally looked up at you over her glasses, —north four.
you smiled and thanked her. you hadn't had time to properly check on him because everything had happened so fast after he came in with the swat team. you'd helped stabilize one officer, handled the report with robby for as long as you could stand him and then you jumped onto mckay's cases because you needed to escape robby. now that the adrenaline had settled, concern had finally started catching up.
the door was already open and jack was sitting on the edge of the bed. shirtless. you swallowed, yet to your surprise, he wasn't alone.
samira stood beside him pulling on gloves while she had a tray with antiseptic, sutures, gauze and saline. all ready to lay her hands on your boyfriend.
—hey, —jack said, straightening his posture.
you frowned, looking at the tray, —what happened? are you hurt?
he shook his head, but samira pressed her lips together.
—he got shot.
—what?!
—shot at, —jack corrected her.
you entered the room and your eyes moved quickly, searching for damage. there wasn't no obvious gunshot wound at sight. his torso was fine, his arms were... very fine, so you grabbed his wide shoulders to check him properly.
jack hissed through his teeth. you knitted your eyebrows together.
—i'm okay, sweetheart, just a scratch.
—you're not, —you pulled out a pair of gloves before he could argue further while your eyes examined the bruise on his shoulder.
—i was about to... —samira started, with her gloves already on.
—thank you, dr. mohan. i'll take care of it.
samira blinked once. her eyes moved from you, to the gloves she had on, to the ones you were pulling on, then to jack sitting there shirtless and looking way to calm about being ordered around. the silence became way to uncomfortable so fast, just enough for samira to suddenly feel like she'd walked into something she definitely wasn't supposed to witness.
—close the door on your wait out, please, —you added.
she cleared her throat and peeled her gloves, —right. okay.
and samira left nervously, doing just as you say and closing the door behind her back.
jack crossed his arms in front of his chest and watched you while you reached for the saline, your jaw still tight as you looked at the wound on his shoulder. you touched the irritated area around the scrape to check the swelling. jack hissed through his teeth and your eyes snapped to his face.
—how long ago did this happen? —you said, pressing the gauze against his skin.
—an hour ago. maybe two.
—and you were planning on telling me... when?
—i didn't want to distract you. actually i was going to treat it myself but dr. mohan walked in.
you should be surprise that he was planning on patching himself up in an empty trauma room like he was some kind of action movie character but you'd gotten used to this things with jack.
—then i'll tell dr. mohan to let me know if she ever finds my boyfriend shirtless and hurt in a trauma room.
jack huffed a laugh. you now stood behind jack, cleaning the scrape across his shoulder. the muscles of his back flexed every time the antiseptic stung yet jack didn't complain about it.
—how was your day? —he asked.
you shook your head to yourself, unable to hide the smile tugging at your lips while reaching for fresh tape. only jack would get shot and ask about your day.
—it was fine, —you murmured, —even better when my boyfriend appeared in full uniform.
another laugh escaped jack's lips, —is that right?
you hummed, dropping the tape on the tray after covering his scrape with a gauze. jack glanced over his shoulder as you stepped away from him to walk toward the door first and slid the lock into place. jack's eyebrows lifted.
—and there's this new doctor... al-hashimi, she's covering robby... you met her?
it sounded casual as you approached the windows and pulled the privacy curtains covering the glass shut one by one. the light of the room dimmed and felt smaller now without the er at the other side of the glass.
—and what exactly is happening right now?
you ignored him. instead, you crossed the room to him. jack sat on the edge of the stretcher, shirtless, swat pants hanging low on his hips while the rest of his uniform was somewhere on the floor. he watched you the entire way across the room, not even pretending he wasn't. that look alone made your knees weak. he always managed to do that.
no matter how long you'd been together, how many nights you spent together in his bed, jack still looked at you like the first day, like he was still surprised you were standing in front of him, like he still couldn't believe you were his.
—she seems cool, —you added.
by the time you stopped in front of him, jack was already adjusting on the stretcher, legs parting just enough for you to step between them, his hands landing on your waist almost automatically.
jack's eyes fixed on your lips, —she does.
—you also made her day by appearing in that uniform. hers, and mckay's, and mohan's, and probably half the hospital's.
your index finger traveled down his bare chest while you spoke, tracing his warm skin, down the center of his stomach, until you reached the belt of his uniform pants. jack exhaled, his whole body tensing under your touch, his grip on your waist tightening.
—and yours?
you hummed, pretending to think about it. your fingers brushed against his belt. jack pulled you closer, searching for your eyes, for your lips, deciding how much patience he had left and judging by the tension in his jaw? not much. and yet you kept your attention on your fingers playing with the buckle of his buckle of his belt while his breathing grew heavier every second you ignored the look in his eyes.
—tell me, —jack searched for your lips. his hand climbed to the base of your neck, then held your jaw up, —you're the only one i care for.
your eyes finally lifted back to his and the knot you hadn't even realized was sitting in your chest loosened because he didn't sound like he was trying to reassure you. he sounded like he was simply being honest.
you smiled and your fingers completely stilled against his belt. that's exactly what you needed to hear, that you were the only one. the only who got to have jack like this. not just like the professional and attractive doctor the entire emergency room stopped to stare at when he walked in his swat uniform, but like this. like the man whose hands searched for your waist instinctively every time you stepped close, the man whose entire back muscles relaxed under your touch, the man who looked starved before kissing you... that version of him was only yours.
you leaned to press a quick kiss right in the middle of his lips. short and sweet, nothing like the tension that had been building in that room. jack chased more when you pulled back.
—we'll continue this conversation at home.
—come on... —jack complained. he pushed himself up from the stretcher and stood in front of you. his hands squeezed your cheeks as he pulled you into another kiss.
you laughed against his mouth, the sound disappearing almost immediately by the way he pressed his lips on yours. your hands slipped into the grey curls at the back of his head, fingers digging into them while jack let out a quiet sound against your mouth. when you finally pulled away, breathing a little uneven, your eyes dropped for a second, then back to jack's face, who was giving you a look like asking you what would you thought it'd happen.
—i think you should stay here for a minute while you calm down, —you laughed before stepping away from him and heading to the door. you thought about opening the privacy curtains, but you came to the conclusion that you didn't want anyone staring at him, through the glass like he was in a zoo, without his shirt on and hard.
jack groaned, trying to follow you out, —i got shot today. i deserve a compensation.
you pushed him back from his bare chest and the contact alone almost distracted you again, —getting shot sounds completely optional and i'd like to remind you that i'm all against this swat hobby you've got.
jack hummed, leaning against the door, hiding part of his chest from the hallway. not that it helped much because he still looked breathtaking, —at least you like the uniform.
synopsis – when meds start disappearing from the er and your best friend langdon becomes responsible for it, your name gets dragged down with his. and your boyfriend, jack, decides to take care of it before it reaches any higher.
c/w – drugs and mention of drug use !! medical inaccuracies !!
a/n - first time writing since last month so sorry if this sucks! also this is my first time writing for the pitt so again sorry if this sucks
angst
—can we talk?
you looked back over your shoulder, caught off guard by the tone more than the interruption itself. jack was behind you, standing there with his jaw tight, shoulders straightened, eyes fixed on you like whatever he had to say couldn't wait another second. mel noticed too. the shift in the air was immediate.
—uh... yeah, —you say slowly, studying him, —let us just finish this...
—now.
you blinked, thrown off, but jack didn't show a flicker of hesitation. if anything, he looked like he had already decided how this goes. mel was looking between you two, but your eyes were still locked on jack, trying to read him and find something familiar in his expression.
—i'm asking you as your superior.
the words hit harder than they should. not because of the authority but because he used it with you. you swallowed, trying to hide a reaction. you finally turned to mel, she was looking at you, just as confused as you were. you showed her a little smile, not your usual one, just enough to smooth things over and hit her with an i'll be back in a second.
—come with me, —jack said, and started walking leaving you behind. you gave mel one last glance, surprised by the fact that he didn't even wait for you. you did a little run to catch him.
—can you tell me what's going on?
jack ignored you and opened one if the er rooms, pushing the door open. he stepped aside to let you pass and, even though you hesitated, searching his face for anything, he still won't meet your eyes. jack followed immediately behind you and closed the door behind his back.
the room was empty, except for you and jack and all the medical supplies. but there was something else. a cart with a tray containing a couple of syringes, small labeled vials, and a jar for urination.
—sit, —jack said, pointing at the stretcher with his head.
you hesitated. you weren't liking his tone, much less the fact that he was ignoring you, —not until you tell me what all of this is about.
jack reached for the glove box and pulled two out. he slid one glove on,—your friend langdon left, —your eyes opened wide. without looking up, jack slid the other glove, flexing his fingers once, adjusting the latex, —well, he didn't actually left. robby kicked him. wanna know why?
—what do you mean kicked him? —you asked, a hint of panic slipping through.
jack looks at you for a second too long before answering.
—because your friend langdon has been stealing medsfrom the er.
you shook your head, —langdon wouldn't...
—but he did. and you were too close to him.
—what's that supposed to mean?
he didn't answer right away. jack walked past you toward the cart instead, checking for something on the tray, —it means that when i was hearing about it, your name kept coming up.
your stomach dropped, the accusation finally coming to the surface.
—you covered shifts together, shared patients, shared logins a couple of times. sit, —he said again.
—that's how we work here, everyone does it.
jack nodded, —i know.
—then why are you saying it like it means something?
his jaw tightened, —because robby thinks it means something.
you let out a short laugh, dry and bitter as you slowly nodded. of course it was robby. you could practically picture it. robby standing in front of jack, arms crossed, building patterns out of coincidence because he never liked things that escaped his control. or maybe he never liked this thing you and jack had going on. maybe robby never liked you.
—right, —you muttered, —of course he does.
—he found discrepancies tied to controlled meds. not one. multiple.
—and now he's tying me to it because i'm friends with langdon. yeah, this is perfect. he's been waiting for a reason to come after me since day one.
jack shook his head, —i just need to run some test on you and all of this would be forgotten.
a wave of anger rose fast, you thought this was only about langdon stealing drugs and you helping him, but this took a completely different way, —you think i'm using?
his head moved to look at you, —no.
—but you need to test me.
—if robby pushes this higher, they're are going to...
—that's not whay i asked.
jack exhaled, jaw clenching, —i don't want to believe that, but...
you stepped back from him, shaking your head slowly, a soft wow was the only thing you could let out. jack rubbed his face out of frustration, mumbling a come on, don't do this. you huffed a laugh in response.
suddenly you started replying every interaction from the past days that could've make him doubt about you. the coffee you spilled because your hands shook slightly, the way you snapped at santos for repeating a question. it all felt human but now they looked like evidences.
—it won't take long, baby, and then all of this would be cleared out.
you scrunched your face when jack hit you with the baby. the sudden tenderness felt wrong, —don't call me that right now. not when you're accusing me of being an addict.
jack shook his head again, —please, —he said, —just sit down.
you stood for another second, staring at him. part of you wanted to walk out even though it would make you look guilty. the other part of you wanted to scream at him how unforgivable this felt. instead, you just reached for the sleeve of your scrub top as you shoved it up your arm. then you sat on the edge of the stretcher, refusing to look at him as you exposed the inside of your arm.
jack moved toward you and grabbed your arm gently, his fingers stretching the skin where your forearm met your upper arm, angling your arm toward the light as he looked carefully along the inside of it. looking for puncture marks. he was physically checking your body for signs of drug use. he who knew every inch of you, now examining your skin for evidences. your face scrunched again, now trying not to cry.
his eyes lifted to your face, —hey, —jack said quietly.
you looked away, —don't. let's finish with this, please.
jack nodded. he released your arm and moved to the other one, his thumb paused near the inside of your elbow. nothing. of course nothing. you swallowed, blinking fast as your vision began to blur. jack noticed and let your arm go. no marks, he murmured, professionally, more to himself than to you. you noticed a hint of relief there.
he stepped back toward the tray. you pulled down one of his sleeves while he took his time opening the blood draw supplies. when he came back to you with the needle and an alcohol swab, he paused before touching you again.
—left arm okay?
you nodded once without looking at him.
jack cleaned the inside of your arm, trying to be comforting, yet he no longer knew what would help the situation and what would make it worse. he tied the tourniquet around your arm and tapped gently along your vein.
—small pinch, —he murmured.
you almost laughed. those words pulled a memory too quickly. late nights during your residency when jack started letting you practice blood draws on him after you missed the vein twice on a trauma patient and looked so horrified. after that you nearly convinced yourself you weren't made for emergency medicine until jack found you hiding in an empty supply room. he walked in, dropped into a chair and rolled up his sleeve. alright, vampire, redeem yourself.
you winced when jack pushed the needle in.
the positioning was almost identical, but reversed. now you were the one with your arm exposed while he stood between your knees. you remembered the way he used to look at you during those nights, the way you fell in love with him, and now his eyes kept moving between the vial filling with your blood and your face, trying to hold together two completely different versions of you.
he slid the needle out, immediately pressing a gauze against the inside of your arm.
—i need you to... —he coughed, taking the small container, —i need a urine sample too. there's a bathroom connected through that door, —jack explained.
the blood draw had already felt like being stabbed. this was twisting the knife. it felt even more humiliating, more invasive. your face went still, no expression while the pain turned into anger.
jack saw it happen in real time.
—you don't... —he started.
—yeah, i know where the bathroom is, —you cut, —i work here, thank you.
you took the container form his hand and walked pass him, stepping into the small bathroom attached to the room. you shut the door harder than necessary and leaned against the counter. you stared at your reflection, but the only thing you could pay attention to was the bandage peaking out of your scrub sleeve and what it meant.
when you were done, you walked out. jack looked up immediately when he heard the door but this time, he wasn't alone.
robby was there, standing near the door with his arms crossed. his eyes dropped to the cup in your hand and then moved back to your face, humiliation crashing over you once again, this time so hard you almost dropped the container.
—the'll run a quick toxicology test on both, the blood and the urine... it should be done in couple of minutes.
—what is he doing here? —you asked.
—we found langdon's meds in his locker, —robby explained, —and you know how this works.
—no, —you shot back, —i know how you work.
—then you should know this stopped being personal the moment narcotics started disappearing.
—yeah, —a dry laugh escaped your mouth, —it's not like you've been on my ass since my first day.
robby laughed the same way you did, taking a step toward you. he was about to say something, probably a comment with that soft tone he liked to use when he wanted his words to cut as deep as possible without ever raising his voice, but jack intervened just in time.
—while we wait for the results, robby wants to see your locker, —jack said quickly, as if saying fast would make it less intrusive.
—my locker, —you repeated in disbelief.
—as i was telling you, langdon had narcotics stored in his. we're checking anyone directly connected to him, —robby continued.
—anyone? or just me?
—we do this and it ends here, —jack said to you but looking at robby.
yeah, it definitely ends here, you thought.
robby stepped to aside and walked behind you.
jack arrived later and by then, all your stuff was spread across the floor. your notebooks, your bag, some protein bars, your pair of spare sneakers, pens and receipts everywhere. even the picture you had hanging on the door had fallen during the search, the one after a thirty hour shift with you and jack outside the ambulance. he had one of his arms thrown around your shoulders, kissing your temple while you held up a coffee toward the camera like a survival trophy.
—she's clean, —jack announced, waving the toxicology report to robby, —blood and urine, everything came back negative.
robby took the paper from jack without speaking at first, scanning the results. your eyes lifted and met jack's. he was already looking at you. he was looking at you like he'd always trust you, there was no doubt in his expression now. but it didn't matter, because he'd needed to see those results. the realization hit harder than the locker search, than the blood draw and the humiliation of sitting on that stretched while the man you loved checked your arms for signs of addiction: jack didn't trust you. at least not enough to defend you when you were being pointed at as a drug addict.
robby lowered the report and nodded, —okay, that's what we needed.
—what's gonna happen to langdon?
robby exhaled, he hadn't really thought about it, should he report him? should he give him another chance? —he went home for now, after that... i don't know.
you nodded. robby pressed his lips together and left, smacking the paper against jack's chest. congratulations, your girlfriend's not a junkie. you stared at the floor before kneeling down to start gathering your things. your notebook first, then the pens scattered beneath the bench, the crushed protein bars and the receipts near your sneakers.
jack stepped forward but you mumbled an i don't need your fucking help, and he stopped on his track. jack watched you pick up everything and shoved it into your locker, careless, as if you wanted this done as soon as possible. you picked everything except one thing. you didn't miss it, you left it exactly where it had fallen.
he remembered the shift, the sunrise, the way you'd laughed when he kissed your temple because as dana took the photo, she kept threatening to report both of you for disgusting resident behavior.
you closed the locker, harder than necessary, and walked past jack.
he called your name, alongside with a baby. jack followed you down the hallway. the er buzzed around you the second you pushed through the doors again and you felt completely detached from it. people looked at you, maybe because your eyes were red, maybe because they already noticed langdon's absence and they were asking to themselves if you knew something about it.
you kept walking, straight to the nurses' station. dana looked up the moment she saw you, her entire expression changing.
—what can i... where can i help?
dana pushed her chair back and stood up, —what happened to you?
your face crumpled before you could stop it.
—oh, sweeheart...
her arms wrapped around you before you even realized you were crying, pulling you tightly against her, one hand pressing protectively against the back of your head while the other one rubbed up and down your back. jack approached from behind, eyes fixed on you, and dana understood immediately that this had something to do with him. she lifted one hand from your back and waved it to him. leave. jack looked like he wanted to argue with her, then dana's expression hardened even more and someone yelled dr. abbot, trauma 2.
you hid your face against dana because you just remembered when it first started.
you were looking at the patient board with langdon, knowing you'd both have to stay after hours. we should do drugs, he joked. it'd definitely make this easier, you answered. that day you laughed it off, it was just dark er humor, but a few days later, langdon brought it up again.
you remembered the first time langdon actually offered you something.
you'd both been sitting in the break room. langdon watched you curse under your breath before reaching into his pocket.
—here, —he said, sliding half a pill across the table.
—what is that?
—it'll keep you awake.
you should've said no immediately but instead you just played with it, too exhausted to think about consequences beyond making it through the next few hours.
—you actually take this?
—sometimes.
and langdon looked functional. he charted faster than anyone, worked better in trauma than any other resident, joked around with nurses like nothing was wrong... so you took it, and the worst part was that it worked, and after that, saying yes became easier.
you would spot him by his locker and feel something in your chest loosen with relief because most of the times he'd already have something waiting. a pill to tuck into the pocket of your scrub, a quick you want half? mumbled under his breath... then he started showing up with different pills, sometimes crushed, sometimes asking if you needed something stronger because you looked exhausted.
and living with jack make things difficult because he was one of the best doctors you'd ever met. observant in ways most people weren't, the kind of physician that could diagnose from tiny details everyone else overlooked.
so you knew that if you weren't careful, he'd started to notice things.
you thanked he usually wasn't around at three in the morning because he'd have seen you pacing around the apartment because your brain refused to slow down after your shift ended, would've seen the way when you'd disappear into the bathroom after another nosebleed.
—you should just inject it, —frank suggested. you were both in his car, he was driving you home. you had your tilted forward with a tissue pressed beneath your nose.
—what?
—it'll stop wrecking your nose.
but you couldn't risk it, not when jack knew your body the way he did.
his lips were familiar with the inside of your thighs and the side of your neck, he'd draw little patterns on the inside of your arm while you both watched a movie on the couch, hold your hand whenever he could... every major vein zone of your body, jack knew it intimately. one track mark and it would all collapse. it was positive in some way, because you stayed away from needles and you could tell yourself that things weren't that bad.
as your tears soaked dana's scrubs, all you could think about was what could've happened if you hadn't almost given a patient the wrong dosage four days ago.
langdon reacted fast, grabbing your wrist at the last second, but he looked terrified and you did too. after that, he decided you needed a break. he'd close his locker whenever you were around, he stopped offering you... and you were furious at langdon because your body noticed the absence. the exhaustion came back all at once, you spilled your coffee because your hands shook , you snapped at santos for repeating a question... all of that because you couldn't bear it.
if none of that had happened, the toxicology exam would've come back positive. the thought of it sat in your chest while dana held you together in the middle of the er and you couldn't stop replaying the way jack had looked at you after the results came back, relieved, guilty for ever questioning you in the first place.
and jack stood there hating himself for suspecting you while the truth had only missed him by four days.
hello!! I saw that your requests for Benedict Bridgerton were open. I was wondering if you could do a story about him and reader who is a fantastic author. Like she’s not bad at art but is so much better at writing. I always thought it would be a cute dynamic. Have a good day love!
benedict helped you spread the blanket on the grass, smoothing the corners. you put down the little basket you'd prepared with some food and a bottle of wine. then, laughing, you slipped out of your dress until you were down to your underwear and ran into the river. benedict followed you, his boots left on the shore along with his clothes. he caught up to you easily, grabbing you by your waist.
he held you as you wrapped your legs around him. benedict rested his forehead against your shoulders, pressing soft kisses there and going up your neck. your fingers threaded into his hair, pulling him closer as you tilted your head to give him space.
now you were sitting on the blanket, legs pulled to your chest, using them to steady your notebook as you wrote. benedict lay beside you, turned onto his side, propped up on one elbow, staring at you. you showed him the page full of words and he grabbed the notebook to read it. when he was done, he looked at you again.
—you should publish it. everyone deserves to read this.
it wasn't the first time benedict suggested it.
—you always say that, —you took back the notebook from his hands.
—and i always mean it, —he replied.
you traced your thumb along the edge of the paper, considering. —we're about to be wed, benedict, i don't want to embarrass you.
—embarrass me? —his brows drawn together in disbelief. he shifted closer, searching for your face.
you shrugged, —with my stories.
whole worlds lived in these pages and characters that loved too much, who bled their hearts out so that you could capture it in ink. these novels had been half hidden in your drawers and boxes under your bed, some of them took months, other years.
—if i publish them, people will read them and what if they think they're silly? or worse, what if they think you married some foolish girl who spends her days making things up?
for a moment benedict just stared at you, like you'd said something truly incomprehensible. then he let out a small laugh.
—my love, —he said, —you did not just call yourself foolish.
—be serious, ben.
—i am serious, —benedict pushed himself up to his elbows, —last winter you had me pacing the room because you hadn't finished that chapter and i needed to know if that poor man survived the war.
you tried not to smile.
—that's not foolish, —he went on as he took the notebook from your hands, —that's amazing, —his hand found your chin, guiding your face back to his, —besides, i'd be insufferable. i'd tell everyone. 'have you read it? that's my wife. she wrote that.' i'd buy copies for strangers and i'd argue with critics in the street.
you laughed, closing the distances to give him a quick kiss, —you would not.
—i absolutely would, —his thumb brushed your cheek. —i'm marrying you because you're bright and stubborn and full of stories. i won't have you making yourself smaller, not for me, and certainly not for anyone.
you exhaled and leaned into him, pressing your face into the space between his neck and shoulder, hiding for the world like it was your safe space. benedict tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
—send it out. one manuscript. just one. and whatever happens, you come home to me.
you looked down at the notebook again, then back at him.
—alright. one manuscript.
he showed you a big smile and tugged you down onto the blanket with him. you laughed as you fell, letting him wrap you between his arms. you pushed yourself up on his chest.
—should i let you decide which one? —you asked.
his whole face lit up, —the soldier one.
you rolled your eyes, —you're obsessed with that soldier.
—he's complex.
—he's impossible, —you argued back.
—he's misunderstood.
you narrowed your eyes at him, —you only like him because he reminds you of yourself.
—i do not brood that much, —he said, giving a quick kiss to your nose.
—you absolutely brood that much, ben. you cried when i wrote the last chapter, didn't you?
he shook his head, sliding a hand up your back, drawing lazy patterns on your skin, —my eyes were watering. very different.
you hummed, not convinced, —well. if it happens and it did make you cry, i enjoy seeing you affected by my work, and if i'm gonna send out one of my stories, i'd love for you to illustrate it.
benedict's hand stopped against your back.
—illustrate it? —he repeated. you nodded. benedict asked, —you'd trust me with that?
—i trust you with everything, ben, —you let your head fall against his chest, —you're in love with that soldier anyways.
his chest rumbled with a soft laugh, —i'm only in love with one person. an amazing soon-to-be-best selling author.
you groaned, hiding your face in his chest, —you're impossible.
—i'm optimistic.
you lifted your head just enough to look at him, narrowing your eyes, —you're biased.
synopsis – dark rooms were very popular at the after-hours parties you attended. they were perfect for a lady like you, discreet and safe in a way only darkness could, until one night, when the man you lost yourself to in the dark wasn't a stranger at all.
smut.
my bridgerton masterlist
you loved the adrenaline of the dark room.
in there, everyone who was inside was a mystery, reduced to movements and sounds, to hands gripping a little too tight, touches that were meant to be momentary, lips that brushed skin longer than they should and vanished before they could be claimed.
the dark made everything easier, not like the large and bright bridgerton dining room. there was nowhere to hide there. your families were practically one, which meant there was no escaping the monthly dinners lady bridgerton hosted. no polite excuses, no convenient illness. you were expected.
and hungover.
at least no one seemed to notice. the table buzzed with conversations, everyone absorbed into their own chatter. your mother leaned toward violet bridgerton, voices low and conspiratorial. your father sat next to anthony, the two of them deep in discussion, nothing serious by the way they both laughed from time to time.
colin had your older brother's full attention, he was probably talking about his travels again, and your younger sister was enjoying eloise and penelope's company, talking far too fast for someone who clearly hadn't spent the morning battling nausea and regret.
no one was looking at you.
or at least that's what you thought.
while you were doing this revision of everyone at the table.
benedict reached for the bottle of wine and tipped it toward your glass. you noticed too late, his wrists was already turning, the bottle tipping and the red liquid filling your glass. just the sight of it made your stomach lurch. if that wine touched your lips, you were certain you'd throw up right there. no more alcohol. possibly not ever again. or at least until next weekend, when selective amnesia would set in.
—rough morning?
you pushed the glass away when he finished filling it. benedict smirked.
—you could say that.
—let me guess, —benedict said, leaning back in his chair, —last night seemed like a brilliant idea at the time.
you exhaled through your nose, resisting the urge to drop your head onto the table, so you just pressed your lips together into a guilty smile and nodded. the chatter around you continued, everyone unaware that you were fighting for your life over a glass of wine. benedict looked like he was enjoying every second of it.
—brave of you, —he added, —to show up today.
—i had no other choice. i would have been dragged here anyway.
benedict's smile showed that he was entertained.
—kicking and screaming, i imagine.
—barely conscious.
you and him shared a quiet laugh. he lifted his glass in a mock toast, taking a sip of his wine. your stomach twisted at the idea.
—cruel —you mumbled, reaching for your water instead. then, as casually as you could, you added, —they say you're in search for a wife.
benedict rolled his eyes and shook his head as if the very idea physically hurt him, —they say many things. most of them wildly untrue, —he through gritted teeth, looking toward lady bridgerton at the head of the table.
violet smiled, —benedict is trying, —he let out a slow breath and leaned back in his chair, —trying is a first step.
you hid your smile behind your glass of water. if nothing else, it was a comfort to know that even the bridgertons weren't immune to family expectations. especially benedict who had a lifestyle not so different from yours. the parties, the alcohol... you glanced at him over your glass. he looked relaxed enough, but you knew better. some people weren't meant to be contained.
while the conversation went on around you, you gulped, feeling all the memories from last night coming at you at once.
the room was completely dark. you'd taken the last sip of your drink without thinking before tossing the empty glass aside and letting it shatter. then sound came first, music low, laughter somewhere close, but especially it was a mix of soft moans and deep groans. bodies moved unseen, close enough that you felt their heat without touch.
you bumped into them without warning. two bodies, tangled together, breathless. one of them laughed softly, surprised, and his hand grabbed your waist. not rough, but inviting. you were pulled into the space between them like it was the most natural thing in the world. his fingers brushed your hair back from your shoulders and his lips were suddenly on the curve of your neck.
your fingers tightened around your water glass and you exhaled slowly, forcing yourself back into the bridgerton dining room.
your hand lifted, finding the other man's your neck and you also pulled him closer to you. the space closed, their bodies pressing you tight. the man at your neck nipped at your skin there, enough to make you gasp, while the other cupped your face, thumbs brushing your cheeks as he pulled you into a kiss that stole whatever air you had left.
then hands loosened and one of them slipped away, laughter fading as the other man was drawn elsewhere and you were left alone with the man who had been kissing you. not that you complained, he kissed like he was starving, hands that held your cheeks slid down to your neck, fingers pressing at the base.
your hands moved without permission, finding buttons and working them open. the dark hid his face but it sharpened everything else. his chest beneath your palms was hard, broad shoulders framed his body, the muscles in his arm tensed as he caged you against a wall and helped you to turn around.
the long fabric of your dress wrinkled beneath his hands. you felt the press of his chest behind you as he pulled down his pants just enough.
you shifted in your chair, adjusting your corset as discreetly as you could. you looked around the table, no one seemed to notice. had it gotten hotter here?
his thrusts were just as his kisses, desperate, as if slowing down was never an option. your sounds mixed with everyone else's in that room, your hand flew to the back of his head as his mouth found your neck. his sounds were deep, groans coming straight out of his chest. his hand came up again, firm at your neck to turn your face aside so he could kiss you. his hips were relentless, smacking against your ass again and again.
you took a sip of your water.
the way his fingers went inside your mouth, how he seemed exactly where to touch and how. one of his hands sneaking between your legs when he felt you were close, the way his arms held you when your legs started shaking. and the only thing he said, most of the people in those rooms never talked, but he murmured one single thing before he left...
—i had fun, —benedict said.
your head snapped, eyes shooting straight to the man sitting in front of you, —what?
everyone looked at you, benedict did too, surprised by your sudden interruption.
—at colin and penelope's wedding. i had fun, —he repeated.
and he said in the same way that had been murmured into your skin the night before.
you forced a smile and nodded, but your heart raced, loud in your ears, and the bridgerton dining room felt smaller. one of your hands went to your stomach as you focused on your breathing, —i couldn't agree more, oh, i'm...
you reached for your glass of water and accidentally knocked it instead. you stood, pushing back your chair. at the same moment, benedict stood too. everyone looked between the two of you, confused, but benedict saved it by lifting one hand and calling the service.
—no harm done, my dear, —violet said warmly.
you pressed your lips into a smile, eyes anywhere but on him.
—if you'll excuse me, i need some air...
you walked to the garden, before anyone could think to ask questions. the doors closed behind you, shutting the sound of the conversation, and the air of the night hit your face, cold and comforting. you stepped onto the grass and took a deep breath, then another, and then you realized you weren't calming down. you were nervously pacing around and the air that you've been taking in was from hyperventilating.
your face changed when you saw him crossing the garden to you. heat rushed to your cheeks and you couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or anger. before you could think of it, you started walking to him.
—are you...?
you pushed him by his shoulders, —where were you last night?
he looked down at your hands on his chest, then back at your face. he had never seen you like this before, —with my family. at dinner.
you let out a short laugh, —you know that's not what i meant.
benedict squinted. of everyone at that table, he was the one person who understood you in ways that only you and him knew. you and benedict had the same... hobbies. the same hunger for noise, and crowds and dark places. it had always been there, between you two. you never asked each other questions because you already knew the answer would look a lot like your own.
—i went out. why? —he finally replied.
—and what were you doing going out on the other side of the town? —you shot back.
—how do you...?
you didn't answer, instead you bit the inside of your cheeks, looking at benedict, waiting for him to realize. his brow furrowed, then slowly smoothed and all of a sudden it didn't feel like he was looking at you standing in the garden anymore, it felt like the shape of your hands gripping his shirt, the sound of your breath in his ear and the way you moved against him without hesitation.
without lights.
—you, —he stated.
the heat on your face intensified. you covered it with both hands like you could hide from it and you started pacing again. it hadn't been some stranger, not someone in the dark you'd never see in the daylight. it was benedict.
benedict who had known you since you were children, who had been beside you at these same dinners, across these same tables, exchanging jokes and rolling your eyes at the same boring parties. he wasn't supposed to exist in that other world.
—what were you doing there? —he asked, almost accusing.
you turned around to look at him, defensive, —what do you mean what was i doing there? that's my part of the town, i live there. you, on the other hand, were really far away from yours. i have never seen you at that party before!
he stayed quiet, letting you pace around, mumbling things he couldn't really understand, something about not knowing anyone, about that being the whole point.
—why is it so bad?
you stopped pacing again, frustration rising again. you turned again to face him fully, —because you're not some stranger i'll never know, benedict, —your hands lifted for a second like you were about to gesture, then fell uselessly back to your sides, —you're you. you sit across from me at dinner. you know my family. our mothers talk. i see you all the time. i can't walk back into that house and look at you like everything's normal when i remember...
—when you remember what? tell me.
benedict took a step closer, not enough to touch you yet. the garden felt smaller and you were suddenly aware of how tall benedict was, how broad his shoulders were. his tone wasn't gentle anymore, there was something curious in it, something teasing.
—i, —you started, then stopped, looking at him, —don't do that.
—do what? —he asked, taking another step, like he knew exactly what it did to you
—i'm serious, ben, —you mumbled. your back straightened but your feet didn't move, they didn't even try to leave which only annoyed you more.
—remember what? —he repeated, lower this time.
benedict was close enough, holding his own hands behind his back. so close that if you leaned, you'd touch him.
—i remember, —you swallowed, —i remember your hands... and... your mouth, and... —you looked down in embarrassment, but immediately after you did, one of benedict's hand held up your chin, tilting your face up and forcing your eyes back to his, —... and the way you touched me.
—don't look away, —benedict said, thumb resting against your jaw, —you're acting like we did something terrible. like you regret it, —his eyes searched for yours, —do you?
you shook your head, eyes moving from his eyes to his mouth. benedict tilted his head, nodding. he closed the distance slowly, making sure you saw it coming. this time there was no anonymity to hide behind, it was just benedict kissing you in the big backyard of the bridgerton house.
benedict's hands slid to the small of your back, and before you realized what he was doing, he guided you backward. your shoulders met the stone of the mansion's facade and he caged you with his body. just above you, a high window was half open, and through it you could hear everything from inside the dining room. your mother's voice. colin's laugh...
and outside, benedict put two of his fingers inside his mouth in the most sinful way a man could ever. you grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him into another kiss because you knew it was going to be hard to keep it quiet once he started sliding his hand up your thigh. you gasped into his mouth once his fingers went inside you, his thumb connecting to your clit.
you clung to him, your forehead pressed against his when the kiss broke, both of you breathing too hard, —ben, —you moaned, your grip on him tightened.
—i know, i know, —he said, shushing you as his fingers curled inside you.
the open window above you let out another burst of laughter, glasses clinking, someone calling for more wine. life continued while you melt in benedict's hands. his thumb draw circles on your clit, two of his fingers when in and out of you, making your legs shake. it felt even better now, knowing it was him who was touching you, being able to look at him in the eyes when you came.
you threw your head back, resting it against the facade, trying to catch your breath.
—feeling better? —benedict asked, kissing the mountains of your breasts showing from the neckline of your dress.
you nodded, biting your lower lip.
—has anyone seen benedict? —lady bridgerton said inside the dining room.
you and benedict looked at each other in panic as you remember where you were. then his hands were on you again, but this time fixing your dress, his knuckles brushed your sides and smoothed the fabric where it had bunched at your waist.
—hold still, —he whispered.
—i am holding still, —you whispered back.
you were smoothing his suit lapels and straightening his collar. his hands were resting on your waist again, looking at the door, hoping your families would take a second longer before they sent someone looking for you. you yanked benedict down by his lapels and kissed him. he kissed you back, hands sliding from your waist to your back, pulling you close again.
you pushed him by his shoulders, —you are insatiable.
he huffed a laugh, —you were the one who kissed me again!
and you did it one more time, grabbing him by the same place. he stumbled forward with a surprised laugh, one hand against the stone facade behind you. the other one caught your hand on instinct.
you smoothed his lapels one last time, though they were worse than before. benedict fixed your hair with clumsy fingers, both of you trying not to kiss each other again.
FOUR TIMES YOU TOOK CARE OF STEVE AND ONE TIME HE TOOK CARE OF YOU °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
synopsis – a recap of all the times steve has been hurt throughout the seasons and how fem!hopper!reader took care of him.
a/n - no proof read i'm sorry i got so tired after writing this.
angst, fluff
my stranger things masterlist
SEASON 1: JONATHAN BYERS
his relationship with nancy became horrible in the span of 48 hours.
it was only a couple of days ago that everything seemed normal. sure, it was hawkins, and not much happened here, but that was part of the appeal.
then will byers went missing, leaving jonathan searching the woods day and night for him. then barb disappeared too, and everyone knew that something darker was going on, specially nancy, who was the last person to see her alive at steve's party, and jonathan… well, he’d been there too.
in the days since barb had disappeared, nancy and jonathan had been nearly inseparable. it wasn’t something they planned or even talked about; it just happened. meeting at odd hours, exchanging theories... and steve had been unbearable since then.
last night was the tipping point. he came by nancy's place unannounced just to find jonathan sleeping next her. you could understand him feeling betrayed, maybe even a little humiliated, but how he handled it? that was all on him.
you actually blamed how he had been handling every situation in his life, losing the best parts of himself in the name of king steve. he wasn't the cute, funny kid that used to invite you to his place after school to play with his toys and eat pb&js. he wasn't either the preteen that loved asking your dad, chief hopper.
you didn't like the person steve had become but something inside you wouldn't let go off him. sometimes, when it was just the two of you, you’d catch a hint of him in the way he’d laugh or the way he’d glance away when he was nervous. maybe you were just being naive, but every time you tried to cut him out of your life, those small details stopped you.
you couldn't stand his friends either.
tommy h, carol, nicole. always ready with a cruel joke or an insult aimed at whoever wasn’t part of their group. and steve never said a word to stop them, he just laughed at all their jokes. he’d see you watching sometimes, your disapproval clear as day, but he’d just give you a look that said, relax, it’s just a joke but there was nothing funny about it. and you assured him a multiple times that they were only using him but he would just start talking about anything else. what would king steve do if what you said was true?
that evening you found steve before nancy did.
you were walking down the street when you spotted him. he was standing under the cinema sign with tommy and carol, spray painting something vile across the marquee. another attack on nancy. another low blow aimed at jonathan.
you walked towards him, heart pounding. you were furious.
—stop this, steve, —you said sharply but you got no response from him. —are you serious? you're really letting them do this?
still nothing. he didn't even look at you. then nancy and jonathan appeared in the distance, walking toward the scene. you saw nancy’s face change the moment she took in what was happening. jonathan, beside her, tensed like a wire pulled too tight.
in an instant, everything exploded.
the words between steve and jonathan were sharp, venomous, spat out with resentment. accusations. insults. then a shove that came too fast and too hard. and suddenly, fists were flying. you tried to pull them apart, but tommy grabbed your arm, yanking you behind him roughly.
—don't spoil the fun, will you? —tommy said. you tried to shove past him, but carol stepped in too, pushing nancy with you.
by the time you broke through, it was too late.
blue and red lights flashed down the street.
the cops arrived drawn by the noise and chaos and by the sight of jonathan sitting on top of steve, his fist, bloody, ready to strike again. they pulled him off, cuffing him before anyone could explain. steve and friends were already gone, running like cowards, while you stood there, looking at jonathan and nancy as if somehow this was also your fault.
when your dad walked into the station, the last person he expected to see was you. chief hopper surprise was obvious. he paused, frowned, then asked one of the officers what was going on.
—come on, —he said with a quiet sigh, pointing at his office with his head. you followed him and hopper shut the door behind you. he sat on his desk. —alright, tell me what happened. i wanna hear it from you.
so you did. you told him about steve, about the fight, about what you'd seen and tried to stop. and without realizing you continued talking about how steve had changed, and hopper noticed the pain in your voice as you talked about how much someone you once cared about become someone you barely recognized.
when you finished, hopper stood, walked over and pressed a kiss to you forehead, rough palm brushing against your temple. —we'll talk more at home when this mess isn't buzzing around my ears.
and after everything that happened, jonathan offered to drive you to your house that night. it was too quiet in the car, a silence that stretched between two people who never had a real conversation since elementary school.
a few minutes after jonathan dropped you off, there was a knock at the door. you didn't think twice, it was probably your dad. he forgot his keys at the station all the time. so you pulled the door open. but it wasn't hopper. it was steve.
he stood on your door under the weak glow of the porch light, his face a mess of bruises and regret. his left eye was dark purple and swollen nearly shut. there were cuts on his lower lip, his eyebrows, the bridge of his nose... some still crusted with dried blood, others looking freshly split. blood had dried in dark trails beneath his nostrils and his knuckles were scraped raw. but it wasn't the injuries that hit you hardest.
it was his defeated look, like something inside him had finally broken.
steve looked at you in silence, asking for something you weren't sure you wanted to give him. you wanted to shut the door and tell him to go home but what kind of person would you be if you left him outside like this? so with a heavy sigh, you stepped aside.
steve sat on the couch, elbows on his knees holding his head in his hands, staring at the floor. you walked to the kitchen and grabbed the first aid kit, a painkiller, a glass of water and a cloth with ice. then, you dragged one of the living room chairs in front of him.
still without a word, you handed him the ice and he placed it on his swollen eye, hissing at the cold contact. steve hissed again when you pressed a wet cotton swab against the dried blood on his lip. the silence stretched between you. you didn't speak because you didn't know if you had anything left to say.
steve watched you, studying your face and your expression: the exausted sigh you had left before sitting in front of him, the tight purse of your lips, the tension between your eyebrows and, maybe the worst of all, your complete refusal to look at him in the eyes.
—you are mad at me, aren't you?
you didn't answer. you didn't need to. wasn't it written all over your face?
—look, i'm sorry, but he deserved it. what else could i do? that fucking creep was fucking sleeping with her.
—what you said about his brother... it was fucking disgusting.
steve blinked. the words landed like a slap. exactly what you wanted.
—i knew that you weren't a good person but it didn't even go through my mind that you'd go that low.
listening you say that you think he wasn't a good person made him regret every single choice that had brought him to this moment.
you were too focused on how bad the wound on his eye looked. —you know? people would like you more if you were a better person. you used to be nice and caring until you started hanging out with those assholes and got that stupid title that no one will remember after high school.
people would like him more? people already adored him.
—by people you mean you, right? you would like you more if you were a better person.
you pressed your lips together and grabbed all the cotton swabs with his blood from the table. —yes, steve. i mean me.
you left the living room, heading to the kitchen. you left him alone on your couch. he couldn't remember the last time you leaned on him, the last time he drove you to school, the last movie you'd seen together or the last time it was just the two of you.
and in the silence of your living room, steve realized it was all his fault.
he wanted, more than anything, for you to tell him to stay, and you felt bad about not doing it, but you needed to be alone tonight. so you walked him to the door, reminding him to put more ice on his eye once he arrived home. you leaned on the doorframe, watching him walk to his car, crestfallen and running his hands through his hair.
—i've dumped tommy and carol, —steve said as he reached his car, turning back to look at you.
you nodded, letting yourself believe it was a start. he nodded too, pressing his lips together like he was trying to hold something inside. better alone than in bad company hadn't been a thing to him until now.
—goodnight, steve.
SEASON 2: BILLY HARGROVE
it was worse this time.
jonathan beat his ass, sure, but billy hargrove? billy nearly killed him and it happened right in front of your eyes.
since the last time, steve changed and he changed for good. you had been spending more and more time together. it didn't matter if it was five minutes or three hours. every time you could, you were driving to his place or he was knocking on your door. most of the times you hung out at your place since you basically lived alone now because your dad was spent his days in that cottage in the middle of nowhere with el. she loved when you visited her, even though you couldn't do it as often as you'd like since you never knew who might be watching.
steve managed to patch things up with nancy, which made you feel some type of way. still, it was hard to deny what you saw between nancy and jonathan and you weren't wrong after what happened at the halloween party.
around the same time, you'd been asked to show the new girl around hawkins high. you didn't expect much, but max turned out to be different, someone you thought you'd be great friends. you offered to help her catch up in class, and tutoring quickly turned into real friendship. oh and her step-brother was hot, he was always so nice to you and flirted with you until max warned you about what kind of person he was and you started to notice the red flags.
and then there was dustin. that kid had inserted himself into steve's life. you weren't sure if steve saw dustin as a friend or just a very talkative kid he'd accidentally started babysitting
now you and steve were left in charge of him and three more kids who were more than a little pissed about being left behind while the rest of the group went off to do the important stuff. you didn't exactly blame them for being frustrated, but their plan? the one where they intentionally tried to draw the demodogs into the house? it was awful, incredible dangerous and of course, the exact opposite of what your dad asked you and steve to do.
—hey. hey, hey, hey! this is not happening, —steve finally snapped, cutting off mid-sentence.
the kids tried to complain about it but steve stood firm and after a speech about responsibility, they seemed to give up when suddenly the revving of a car engine outside crushed the moment.
your eyes met steve's instantly and max rushed to the window, heart in her throat. she peeked through the curtain and froze, —it's billy's car. he can't know i'm here. especially not with lucas.
you mumbled a fuck under your breath. steve decided to go out of the house to deal with billy while you stayed inside looking after the kids. you tried to convince him that it would be a better option if it was you who went to talk to billy, you knew he liked you better than steve, but he rather have you with max and lucas.
you watched the whole scene from the kitchen window.
billy got out of his car and steve approached him. the two talked for a few seconds. then billy lifted his hand and with his cigarette, he pointed towards the house. you turned your head, following the direction he was pointing at and found the four kids ducking out of the living room window like total idiots.
—are you fucking serious? —you muttered, walking angrily towards them. —did he see you?
your question remained with no answer from them but you guessed billy did see them because he broke into the house almost knocking down the door. max, lucas, mike, and dustin moved behind you and you made sure that max was closer to you by holding her arm.
—well, well, well. i didn't expect to see you here, —billy said to you as he slammed the door behind him. —much less with my step-sister and lucas sinclair. what a surprise, —he was getting too close to you and the kids.
billy stepped closer, too close. your hands landed on his chest, pushing him away and he tilted his head, his eyes looking at your hand touching him, half smile on his lips but that devilish smile disappeared once he focused on max.
—you disobeyed me. and you know what happens when you disobey me. i break things.
billy bumped into your shoulder like you were nothing and grabbed lucas' by the neck of his jacket, slamming the kid against the wall. you had to let go off max's arms to go after billy when he all of a sudden he shrunk in pain after lucas kicked his balls.
you barely had time to react before steve's fist connected with billy's jaw. but then billy recovered fast, too fast, and he caught steve by the collar, slamming his forehead straight into steve's face.
steve collapsed, blood already coming from his nose. billy dropped on top of him and started raining down punches without hesitation. your heart almost stopped. you wrapped your arms around billy from behind and tried to get him off steve but he shoved back violently and you flew off him. thankfully, max had already moved, pulling the syringe from her jacket, one of the ones meant for will, and slammed it into billy's neck.
you knelt next to steve and you had to swallow the lump in your throat after seeing his face completely covered in blood. —it's okay, steve. it's over. you did great, —you caressed his hair, knowing that it would calm him and he nodded softly.
the next thing you remember was pressing some ice down steve's forehead while max drove billy's car. was it the best idea? absolutely not. and the proof of that when steve opened his eyes and flinched at the sight of max behind the wheel.
once it was all finally over, you drove to your place with steve and max with you. no way in hell were you letting max return to her house that night. and steve? he could barely stand
steve let his body fall onto the couch and max went directly to your room.
—how are you feeling? —you asked.
every part of his body hurt, the wounds on his face stung like hell yet he nodded to your question, making you roll your eyes as you soaked the cotton with oxygenated water.
—i'm glad that everything went well, —he confessed and you agreed.
—it could've gone better if you hadn't been knocked unconscious.
you started with wounds on his forehead after removing the band-aids the kids insisted on putting on him.
—i agree with that.
his eyes were almost closed completely which allowed you to work on them without problems. they were always the most affected part but this time it was both of them. he had dark marks, almost black. he had more wounds on his right cheek, on his jaw and even on his earlobe. you checked that his nose wasn't broken, getting a whine from steve and you apologizing right after.
then, you focused on his lips. he had a big bleeding wound on the corner of his mouth, it was swollen and red, and you were extra careful while cleaning it. steve fixed his position on the couch to make it easier for you, turning his body and leaning closer.
you were too focused on his lips, was it bad to say that they looked so kissable right now? well, they always did but now they were red and plump, and your touch was so soft. steve couldn't help but imagine if your lips would feel that soft too. his eyes were locked on your lips and you could feel a weird feeling in the middle of your chest that dissapeared once steve pressed his lips to yours.
the kiss was delicate, you didn't want to hurt him but the burning sensation on his lips once he started moving them was inevitable, but he was not going to complain because he loved it. both of his hands went to cup your cheeks. your hands landed on top of his and steve hissed in response. he didn't move away from you but you did and took his hands off your cheeks just to notice his bruised knuckles.
—oh, steve. your hands. i'm sorry, i didn't know.
your friend shook his head, assuring you that it was okay.
—yeah, as strange as it may seem, steve beat billy too, —max added. she was leaning against the door frame, her hands crossed in front of her body. she was wearing one of your pajamas.
she sat next to you while you dealt with steve's ruined knuckles and she tried to apologize to steve for what his brother did but steve, of course, didn't allow her to do that. you asked to yourself how long max had been there.
max and you slept both on your bed while you left the couch for steve. you tugged him with multiple blankets and practically begged for him to wake you if he needed anything.
the girl was waiting for you, sitting on your bed with her eyebrows raised and a smirk on her lips. she did see you.
SEASON 3: THE RUSSIANS
—have you ever been in love?
that was robin, his new friend, sharp tongued and always making steve feel exposed. they were asking each other questions, trying to make sure the drugs had finally worked their way out of their systems. steve pressed his lips together and hummed.
—nancy wheeler. first semester, senior year.
robin made a noise after hearing that name coming out of steve's lips. —she's such a priss. are you still in love with her?
—no, —steve answered, too fast, surprising even himself.
—why not?
steve exhaled, letting his head fall back against the wall, —i think it's because i found someone who is way better for me. but i don't think i'm good enough for her so, that's kind of the end of it.
he hated thinking about it, it made his chest ache. the one girl who could make him happier than he'd ever been only saw him like a friend.
but the truth was, you loved the sailor outfit.
the first time you walked into scoops ahoy, you couldn't help but giggle at the sight of steve with that hat and those shorts. you giggled so hard steve rolled his eyes. he wanted to hide from you, but you reassured him that he had never looked so adorable ever before.
he always told you that you could have all the free ice cream you wanted on his behalf since he could have it but chose not to, claiming he had to keep the shape for the ladies. robin later saw him slip a five dollar bill from his pocket into the register to pay for your banana split. she never said a word, she just smiled.
it was terrifying how well you and robin got along with each other, some times he would even accuse the girl of trying to steal his best friend from him. his bond with dustin grew stronger, just as yours with max . that's the reason why you and steve ended up separated when everything went to hell; max wanted you by her side with everything that was going on with billy and dustin wanted steve's help to deal with the russians.
the next time you saw him he was sitting on the bathroom floor with robin, his back against the stall and hers against the wall, both of them laughing their asses off. they stopped when they saw you, dustin and erica walking in the bathroom and then they started laughing again.
—oh my god, —you mumbled, approaching steve and cupping both of his cheeks, forcing him to look at you as you stared into the wounds on his face.
steve giggled and felt like he could melt under your touch. on the contrary, your eyes were arched with worry, examining his face and realizing how hot his skin was under the palm of your hands.
—okay guys, we gotta go, —dustin and erica helped robin to get up and you threw one of steve's arm over your shoulders.
el saved you from the russians that were trying to murder you and she also saved you from billy although she couldn't save max from seeing his brother being brutally murdered in front of her eyes, you dragged max out of the scene as fast as you could.
your drive home was painfully quiet.
el was sitting in the passenger's sit, playing with her hands. max was resting his head on steve's chest, the boy stroking his hair trying to calm her silent but nonstopping crying. once you got home, el and max stayed in the living room. you asked her if she needed something before leaving with steve to your room.
—fuck, steve. get up, —you huffed and crossed your arms in front of your body.
he frowned and right after a hiss left his lips from how bad every muscle in his body hurt. steve got up from your bed, still confused.
—take off the uniform.
wow. he was even more confused now. his eyebrows raised and yours did at the same time, daring him to argue. steve pulled his shirt over his head, revealing to you his bruised chest, a mix of angry purples and blues across his skin. you let out a sigh, you couldn't blame him for this one. yes, it had been a stupid idea to go into that russian base but he did not go there looking for this.
—oh, shit, —steve mumbled looking at his own body. it hurt, but he never imagined that it would be this bad.
you were tired of seeing him like this. bruised, bloodied, barely holding himself together beaten up, every time you had to deal with something related to the upside down.
he must saw it on your face. steve reached for his t shirt, —i think i should go home.
you shook your head. —it's not that, steve. i'm getting the first aid kit, you wait here.
and he did. he sat carefully on the edge of your bed, hands resting on his knees and thinking about that conversation he was having with robin before you suddenly appeared to his rescue like some kind of guardian angel.
you came back and sat next to him, already putting some hydrogen peroxide in a cotton that you gently pressed against the skin of his chest. steve hissed and you apologized. he watched how deliberate your movements were, how you tried not to press down more than needed to not hurt him, how your eyes were glossy with tears.
steve softly called your name but you didn't respond and kept focus while hot tears rolled down your cheeks. his eyebrows were arched with worry as he called your name again trying to get your attention.
—tell me what happens, please, —steve cupped both of your cheeks and made you look at him.
—i can't keep seeing you like this, —the bruises around his eye reminded you of that fight he had with billy and it gave you chills, —i imagine the worst every time you leave me and when i see you again you are drugged and you are covered in blood and i wouldn't know what to do if you...
—that won't happen again. i'm so sorry, —steve hugged you against his body, feeling guilty for making you worry in that way.
he let you cry against his neck, holding you close. one of his hands moved slowly up and down your back, while the other cradled your head, keeping you close to him. you clung to him, breathing in him. the warmth of his body reminded you that he was alive while he murmured soft apologies into your ear and pressed kisses into your hair, your temple, your forehead...
steve swore to himself he would never be the reason you cried like this again.
even when the sobs finally faded, you stayed there, hiding your face against his neck. his scent, his body moving from his breathing, the warmth of his skin, his hands holding you, his lips against your hair, all those things let you know that steve was with you.
you planted a kiss where his jaw and his neck met, and then another one on the middle of his cheek only for you to stay a few inches away from his lips. his hands moved to cup your cheeks and to wipe the tears that were rolling down your cheeks again, and before steve could apologize once again, your lips were on his.
steve noticed the salty taste of your tears on your lips as your hands landed on the base of his neck and you could feel the cut close to his mouth every time you moved your lips.
—are you feeling any better? —steve asked you once you parted to catch your breaths.
you licked your lips and nodded. steve nodded too.
—i'm sorry about all this. no, let me finish, —you were going to tell him that he didn't need to apologize anymore, —i couldn't leave them alone. i know that i should have stopped them because i'm the oldest. i should be in charge but dustin was so insistent about going there and for some reason, robin thought it was a good idea too, and they convinced me. but seeing you like this i feel like it was the worst decision i've ever made.
you slowly shook your head, understanding that he did the right thing by not letting them go there on their own, —and that's why i'm not angry. i just hate that you always end up paying the price.
—yeah. me too.
—just so you know, i'm not leaving you alone. ever. like full on shadow move. bathroom breaks, snack runs, everything.
now it was him who was nodding, —you might thing it'd annoy me but i like it.
you laughed and smacked his arm, getting another hiss from him, completely forgetting that his body now felt like it had been run over. you mumbled a quick apology as you went back to take care of the bruises and wounds on his chest. you were both so focused that neither of you noticed the doorway until joyce stepped inside your room.
when you finally looked up and saw tears in her eyes, you and steve looked at each other. you felt your whole body tense when you didn't see your dad with her.
SEASON 3 - 4: HOPPER'S DEATH
the news about your dad shocked everyone.
while jane decided to leave hawkins with joyce, you stayed behind with steve. joyce practically begged you to come with them, convinced that putting distance between you and hawkins was the only way you'd ever be able to heal. but leaving meant abandoning everything your dad built, every memory in that house... it felt less like moving on and more like erasing him.
you couldn't even step outside your room without breaking down. that's how steve ended up practically moving in with you. with his parents out of town most of the time, no one really noticed his absence, and he didn't care anyway, not when you needed him.
the first weeks were brutal. time seemed to stop the moment joyce told you your dad was gone and steve became the only reason your days kept going. he was the one who managed to get you out of bed, the one who sat with you at the kitchen table until you ate a few bites of toast or soup.
joyce called every single day to check on you. she never told you exactly how your dad died, only that he'd given his life to close the gate, to save you all. she spared you the details, protecting you in the only way she could.
robin covered as many most of steve's shifts as possible, slipping into family video without a complaint. when steve couldn't get out of work, max stayed with you, but no matter who tried, the only person you ever really wanted by your side was steve.
grief didn't come all at once. some days were almost bearable, others felt impossible. steve learned the difference without having to explain it. on the bad mornings, he didn't wake you up. he'd crack the door open just enough to check if you were still breathing, then leave a mug of tea on the nightstand and plant a kiss on the top of your head. he kept the curtains half closed, letting light in like easing you back into the world instead of shoving you into it.
when the nightmares came, he woke up instantly. before you could form words, steve would already be there. one hand against your back, the other caressing your hair. he never asked what you'd dreamed about, he just pulled you close and stayed awake until your breathing slowed again.
some nights you cried without warning. steve learned not to panic when it happened. he'd hold you in his arms and let your tears soak into his shirt. when your sobs quieted into hiccups, he'd press his forehead to yours and whisper, i've got you.
steve started doing little things. he stocked the fridge with foods you used to like, he left the hallway light on at night because he knew the dark didn't help you at all, he wrote reminders on sticky notes and left them in places you couldn't miss.
weeks passed. then months.
one afternoon, you found yourself sitting on the floor of the living room, surrounded by old photos you'd finally managed to bring over. steve was leaned on the doorway for a second before joining you, sitting close. you showed him some photos. he even appeared in a couple of them, when you were both still kids.
—that one's my favorite, —he said, nodding at a picture of you and your dad laughing.
—he used to do that on purpose, —you said, —just to make me laugh.
steve smiled, —sounds totally like him.
for the first time in months, you didn't cry remembering him.
later at night, you curled up against steve on the couch, and you realized how used to this you'd become. to his presence, to his touch, to the comfort of being held by him, to his lips against your forehead... and as you lay there, wrapped in his arms, it finally clicked that you and steve hadn't been just friends for a long time.
the realization didn't scare you. if anything, it gave you hope.
SEASON 4: DEMOBATS
dating steve was beyond awesome.
even in the days when grief still sat heavy in your chest, there were moments when you felt almost normal again. nights out to dinner, sneaking into a late movie, picking up dustin, robin and max with his car just to drive around with no real destination. steve was always there for it all. even for the hard parts.
when chrissy died, you felt it immediately. you knew something was wrong long before anyone said it out loud. and when max finally admitted to you and steve that she'd been having the same visions and headaches as chrissy had in the days before she died, fear took deep in your bones.
it felt like a curse. as long as you stayed in hawkins, this would never end, like you and your friends were doomed to keep losing pieces of yourselves to something that always seemed one step ahead. you barely left max's side after that. every day was spent with her, watching her, pretending you weren't counting her breaths. and when eddie munson became the town's next monster, accused of murder and forced into hiding, the feeling only grew heavier.
somehow, it all led you to lover's lake. in the middle of it in a small boat with steve, robin, nancy and eddie. robin and eddie were rowing, you were sitting close to steve, pressed against his side, both of your hands wrapped around his arm. your heart was beating so hard you were sure everyone could hear it. it wasn't due to the cold, it was the feeling of something bad coming your way.
steve looked down at you, his thumb brushed your hand.
—i'm okay, —you whispered.
then, dustin's compass went crazy. the needle began to spin as if it had lost sense of direction. your grip on steve's arm tightened. this was it. this was the thing you'd been dreading. the gate was down there. steve leaned closer and kissed your temple, then his arm slipped out of your hands and your heart dropped.
before you could say anything, he was already pulling off his shoes, then his socks.
—steve, what are you doing?
—somebody's gotta go down and check this thing out. and unless one of you four was a certified lifeguard for three years, then it's gotta be me. no complaints, all right?
panic grew in your chest.
—no, —you shook your head, —we don't know what's in there.
—i'll be okay.
—steve... —you tried to again. your fingers curled into the sleeve of his sweater.
—i'll be okay, —he repeated, looking at you, his expression soft in that way that meant he'd already made his decision, —i won't be gone long. i'll just take a look and come back, okay?
you wanted to argue, to beg, to scream at him to stay, but all you could think about was every time you'd watched him walk into danger and come back broken, bloodied, barely standing. you let his sleeve go, you couldn't do this again, you couldn't let the fear tear you apart before anything had even happened.
you nodded. steve took off his sweater and shirt and then he jumped into the water. you leaned forward, hands gripping the edge of the boat as you stared down into the water. the seconds stretched incredibly long. the lake felt too big, too dark, too dangerous. you heard your friends talking behind you in the boat, but you couldn't focus on what they were saying.
you leaned farther over the edge but had to jump backward when steve broke the surface, gasping, hair slicked back, water down his face. you also gasped, relieved, one hand going to your chest trying to hold there your heart.
—i found it. it's not as huge as he thought but still, it's pretty damn big.
robin was updating dustin through the walkie talkie, steve was still in the water, gripping the side of the boat as he tried to explain what he'd seen down there. you were barely listening, your eyes never left him.
and then something dragged him under the water, just for a few seconds, long enough for you to panic. you all froze when steve came back to the surface, coughing, as he grabbed the side of the boat again. he looked just as surprised as you felt.
—did you...? —robin started.
steve shook his head, —i didn't... something...
before he could finish, it happened again. and this time he didn't come back.
you didn't think, didn't hesitate.
you jumped into the water, you heard your friends yell at you. your lungs screamed for air as you swam, your instinct told you to turn back to the boat, to breathe, but you pushed past that, forcing your eyes open despite the sting. you saw him, being pulled into the red gate. you kicked harder toward the only place whatever has him might loosen its grip.
you crash onto the other side, coughing. the ground beneath you is covered in vines, the sky above you red. nancy, robin and eddie burst through the gate only moments later.
steve's screams got you all on your feet, raw and desperate. he was lying on the ground, a massive bat's tail wrapped around his neck, three more are cling to him, their claws dug deep as they bite into his stomach, wings flapping violently. you took a step back, pure horror written all over your face. nancy, roobin and eddie rushed past you, oars raised high, wood slamming into the bats.
the moment his eyes met yours something in you snapped. you grabbed the one around his neck with your bare hands. your palms burn, you can feel skin tearing, something hot and wet against your fingers, but you tightened your hold anyway, until its tail rips from its body. steve coughed, his chest heaved, choking and taking in air like it's the first breath he's ever taken in his life. despite everything, he pushed himself up almost immediately, stumbling toward eddie to help knock another bat away.
you reached steve, shoving his shoulder harder than you meant to and taking down the bat yourself with an oars you picked from the ground.
—what is wrong with you? —you shouted, breath coming too fast, —you just... you just stopped choking to death and you're already trying to play hero again!
—i... i saw eddie and... i was fine.
—no! you were not! —you threw the oars against the ground with all the strength you had left, the wood cracked in two, —you were not fine! you were choking, god, look at you! you're bleeding—you gestured at the raw bites in his stomach.
suddenly you were the one choking. your chest tightened, your hands curled into fists, then opened again, but it was useless. your breath quickened but that air seemed to not be enough. steve' s expression changed immediately. nancy, robin and eddie, still a bit stunned by your screams, approached you too.
—i... i can't... —the words caught in your throat. you clawed the front of your shirt like that might help.
—hey, —steve approached you, standing in front of you. his hand came up to your cheeks, holding you, his thumbs caressing your skin,—focus on me, yeah? look at me. i'm here.
—i can't breathe, —you sobbed, —i can't... i thought you...
—i know, —he said quickly, —i know. i'm here. i'm alive. you're safe, —steve guided your hands to his chest. his skin was warm under your palms, —feel that? that's me. i'm right here. in through your nose, —he whispered, —slow. with me. out through your mouth.
you tried. failed. tried again.
your chest burned, tears went down your cheeks. steve pulled you in into a hug, when your breathing steadied, his arms wrapped around you. your head rested against his chest, your hands pressed there too. your breath steadied but you were still crying.
—i can't, steve.
—it's okay. i've got you. keep breathing, —he tightened his arms around you.
—no. i can't keep doing this.
steve pulled back just enough to look at you. you pushed his shoulder, softly, getting him off of you.
—i can't keep watching you almost die. i can't keep thinking every time you leave, it might be the last time i see you. i love you, steve, but it feels like waiting for something terrible to happen.
steve froze. nancy, robin and eddie looked at each other.
—hey... no, don't say that. i'm still trying, i promise i am...
—you promised before! —you cut him, trying to stay calm, —you promised me you'd stop doing this, and look where we are! look at you. i'm sorry, but we...
in that moment, a thunder split the sky, turning the clouds red. you all flinched at once. steve pulled you closer to him, turning slightly his body so he could shield you. you stayed there, until robin, eddie and nancy started to run. you and steve followed them, searching for a place to shield yourselves from the storm and the bats.
only when you were all inside the cave, steve let his hand fall from your waist to lean against the walls. his knees bent, his eyes squeezed shut. steve had lost too much blood, you could see it now. the raw bites across his stomach were still bleeding.
—shit, —you stepped toward him.
—i'm fine, —he muttered, covering the bites with his hand, trying to stop the bleeding himself.
nancy and robin crouched. steve showed you the wounds and you swallowed. robin started talking about rabies and you called her name before she could keep going. nancy ripped part of her tshirt and handed it to you. then, both of the girls left to check on eddie.
—okay. ready?
steve nodded and you wrapped nancy's torn fabric around his stomach. he grunted, you apologized but pressed it firmer anyways. he watched you for a moment, eyes searching for your face.
—you meant it? back there. what you said.
—i wasn't planning to, —you admitted, fixing nancy's fabric around him, —i almost lost you again. i don't think you understand what that does to me.
—i do, and i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to hurt you, i never mean to. but please...
—i don't want to watch you die. i can't watch you die.
—please don't do this here. not like this.
you shook your head, —it's over, steve.
he ran his hands through his hair, trying not to cry. you talked softly, you didn't yell and somehow it was worse. there was nothing he could push back against, no anger, no screams. you were calm because you still loved him. the cave felt impossibly small, steve nodded slowly, eyes shining despite his efforts. he scrubbed his face, turning slightly away from you, trying to breathe through it.
would there have been any break up in the upside down before? you were pretty sure you were the first one
SEASON 5: THE FALL
and there you were again, in the upside down.
you'd tried to keep your distance from steve after the breakup but it's been quite difficult because danger had a way of forcing people together no matter how badly they needed room to breathe. steve sat with you in silence in max's hospital room, just his presence next to you, close enough you could feel the warmth of his arm whenever he shifted. the machines hummed. your best friend was in a comma, your ex boyfriend sitting next to you.
at wsqk, late at night, you and steve found yourselves leaning against opposite walls of the station, exhausted, sliding down until you were sitting on the floor. robin's voice filled the silence as she talked through the radio. sometimes your eyes met across the room, shared glances that said i know and i'm still here before you looked away and got up from the floor.
you tried to push him away. every time steve stepped a little closer, every time his hand brushed your arm or ask how were you doing, you shifted away first. just enough to remind both of you where the line was now. and he noticed. he never called you out on it, never argued, steve adjusted.
—are you okay? —he walked by your side.
you held his bat with nails. it was the weapon that you had been given to walk through the upside down.
you hummed, nodding.
—you don't have to pretend with me, —he added.
—i'm not, —you answered almost instantly.
then it came the silence and it was like you two remembered everything about the moment you broke up. the cave, the blood, the way your voice stayed calm while steve begged for one more chance... you shook your head, keeping those thoughts away.
—are you okay? —you asked back.
—yeah, well, trying to be.
you didn't know if he meant that because you were in the upside down or if he meant something else. like trying to be okay without you. you didn't ask him to clarify, you just adjusted your grip on the bat and kept walking. sometimes you looked at him when you thought he wasn't paying attention. sometimes he looked at you, checking you were still there.
every time your eyes met it was accidental, and every time, one of you looked away first.
steve reached the top pf the radio tower before you did, then he paused and turned back. he held out his hand and you hesitated only for a moment before taking it as he guided you up the ladder. when you reached the top, you let go, stepping back to give yourself space. then you looked up, the abyss dropped away in front of you, and before you could think, you reached out again. your friends were all looking at the world daring to swallow the upside down whole but you and steve shared a glance, he pressed his lips together and squeezed your hand.
—i've got you.
you nodded, swallowing hard.
then the tower shook, whe the needle hit the abyss and didn't go through the riff and you all stumbled. you were forced to let steve's hand go to hold onto a railing. your friends shouted, careful! hold on, grab anything! you tightened your grip on the railing just as the baft slipped from your hands.
steve tried to reach to you, arms stretched, fingers so close... but the tower shook again and threw him back a step. the needle of the tower snapped, collapsing against the platform you were all standing on. the impact sent a shock wave through the structure, throwing everyone into whatever they were holding onto.
everyone except steve.
you watched in horror as he reached for something, but there was nothing within reach. no railing. no hand. just air. steve hit the platform on his back and he rolled once. his body stopped only because one of his hands shot out at the last second, fingers curling desperately around the edge of the platform.
you heard dustin scream. you were in pure shock.
steve dangled there, the entire weight of his body pulling against that single hand. you dropped to your knees and crawled toward him, ignoring the way the platform still trembled beneath you, ignoring the shouts behind you telling to stay back. your hands scraped against the metal as you reached the edge. his hand slipped but before he could disappear into the darkness beneath him, you grabbed his forearm.
the force dragged you forward. you would've slipped too, but then something yanked you backward. jonathan. his hand grabbed you by your jacket, anchoring you just in time. your arms burned, your muscles too, but robin and mike were quick to come and pull from steve until his body was finally back onto the platform.
you collapsed, chest heaving.
everyone was trying to catch their breaths, because you all felt it, how close you'd come to losing him.
you pushed yourself up and crawled toward him. he was lying on his back, chest rising and falling fast, eyes squeezed like he was waiting for the fall that never came. your hands came up to his face, thumbs brushing his cheeks.
—oh my god, steve, oh my god... —you whispered as your eyes searched every inch of his face. his eyes opened at the sound of your voice. you leaned down and pressed your lips against his. it wasn't planned, it was a oh my god, you're alive. steve froze beneath you, stunned as everyone else.
you rested your forehead against his.
—i thought i was gone, i thought that was it, —he admitted.
you shook your head.
—you didn't let me fall, —steve added.
—never, —you replied, without thinking.
you kissed him again. once, twice, three times. you'd broken up, you were supposed to be done, you'd told yourself that staying by his side would only end in loss but you finally did it. steve wasn't hurt, there was no blood, no bruises he was there with you. you finally saved him, before anything bad could've happened to him, even if holding his hand would've dragged you with him, even if you would've fallen too.
steve looked at you like he knew it too.
—don't ever do that again, —steve said, voice shaking, scared.
—then don't make me ever do it again.
the tower groaned again when the abyss stopped right above your heads, but it didn't matter, the world could be literally ending and you'd sigh because it'd end with steve by your side.
BONUS 18 MONTHS LATER
you were at the rooftop of the wsqk, laughing so hard your cheeks hurt. steve was trying to pitch hawkins like it was some hidden gem to nancy, robin and jonathan. they weren't buying it, not even a little.
—there's absolutely no reason to come back, i'm sorry steve, —robin declared. nancy nodded at her words while jonathan laughed under his breath. they all had their lives outside of hawkins, except from you and steve.
steve sighed like a man betrayed, then abandoned the topic entirely. he hopped up onto the little fridge beside you and before you could tease him about it, his hand flew to your thigh.
—are you sure about that? —steve asked robin.
you lifted your right hand. for a half a second, no one noticed. then the diamond ring caught the sunset and the rooftop went dead silent.
—no way, —nancy said first, a small happy smile slipping.
robin squinted, —is that...? steve!
jonathan's chuckled, —you got engaged?
steve's hand tightened on your thigh like he couldn't help himself. surprise, you said. you'll have to come back to hawkins for at least a day, steve added.
—i hate how emotionally manipulative this is, —robin groaned.
—what did your dad say about this? —jonathan asked, tilting his head. you and jonathan were now half brothers since your dad and his mom were dating so you'd been seeing him more often, but still, you wanted it to be a surprise.
you nodded slowly, —he's working on it. didn't freak out, didn't celebrate either. no dramatic disowning. no speeches. which, you now? is good. means he's thinking. i'm sure your mom has to do something with this, so thank you.
—yeah, we'll take all the help we can get, —steve said.
—it's gonna be fine, —nancy sipped from her beer, —you two make sense. you always have.
robin let out a long, dramatic sigh, —i can't believe i'm saying this, but i'm happy for you. i just want it on record that i had to listen to both of you absolutely spiral when you broke up.
steve scoffed, —okay, first of all...
—and because we thank you for that, —you cut him, —i want you and nancy to be my bridesmaids.
they both started immediately discussing the details of the wedding. steve slipped an arm around your waist, and pulled you close. the city hummed below, the ring on your finger shone, and for once, everything felt settled.
synopsis – steve waited for too long and you got tired of waiting something that might never happen. billy didn't give you time to doubt or pull away, he wanted you so loudly that even when it hurt, it felt better than the waiting. and now your best friend and your boyfriend hate each other.
angst, fluff
c/w – very toxic relationship between the reader and billy.
my stranger things masterlist
steve didn't like billy. from the very second he found out you were seeing him, but something clicked when steve saw him getting out of his stupid car with you. steve actually hated billy.
billy didn't even pretend to be subtle about it, one of his arms was around your shoulders, pulling you in closer until your side fit against his like that was where you were meant to be. billy kissed your temple, never once looking away from steve. and then his mouth curved into a smile, mean and satisfied.
steve's hands clenched at his sides before he realized. he told himself it was nothing, that billy was just showing off, that you were just caught in the middle of some stupid ego game. but the way he held you so possessive without trying to hide it, the way he walked with his arm around you, keeping you close... it made steve sick.
billy talked close to your ear, whispering something that made you laugh softly, like there weren't other people around, like steve wasn't standing with nancy and jonathan ten feet away, watching everything.
the bell rang. billy said something about the time he'd pick you up. you stood on your tiptoes to kiss him before you ran to your class. billy's hand slid to your waist, pulling you in the way you liked, making you feel close and safe. steve felt his blood boil. nancy and jonathan talked to him, trying to anchor him to anything else. steve nodded and mumbled answers, but he wasn't really there.
you ran toward your classes, backpack bouncing, skirt swaying. you passed by your friends and waved at them. nancy, jonathan and steve waved back, but not even one second after, steve's attention was on billy again. he hadn't moved, he was still leaning against the car like he had nowhere else to be, eyes following you as he lighted himself a cigarette, until you disappeared inside.
only then, his eyes locked onto steve's like billy'd been waiting for it.
—you've got a problem? —billy asked, voice teasing.
steve didn't look away, but nancy noticed that his jaw tightened, —you think?
billy's smile grew bigger, —good. means i'm doing something right.
and he got into his car, he didn't wait for a response. the tires crunched over gravel and billy was gone.
no one knew what were you doing dating billy hargrove.
jonathan didn't ask, but you caught the concern in his eyes whenever billy's name came up. nancy, on the other hand, had asked you when it was just you and her, are you okay with him?, you knew what she meant, you also knew she was trying not to sound judgmental. she watched you for a long moment, trying to find any crack, any doubt, but she couldn't. yes, you answered.
the kids were the most surprised of them all.
dustin stared like you'd just told him the sky had turned green. lucas kept asking if you were serious, mike and will hoped the answer might change the next time. and max... well, she was happy to see you more often at home, but you were her friend, like a sister even, someone she trusted. and now you were dating the worst person she'd ever known.
—didn't she have like this massive crush on steve? —lucas asked. you heard it from the top of the stairs leading down to the wheeler's basement. the pizzas were burning your hands, but you wanted to keep listening.
—she did, yeah, —dustin confirmed, —it was not just a crush. i could swear she was in love with him.
your fingers tightened around the boxes.
—and that's gone? just like that she's dating your brother? —will asked max. she shrugged, she didn't like talking about this.
—i don't know what's worse, —dustin mumbled, —steve's unbearable about it. he doesn't say anything, which somehow makes it worse. he just gets all quiet and broody and pretends everything's fine when obviously is not.
—and billy? —mike asked.
—what about him? —max shot back, defensive.
—i don't know, is he any different since he's with her? do you think he likes her?
everyone looked at max.
—he doesn't yell as much. he doesn't slam doors, and when he picks her up, he actually waits. like, really waits for her. which is weird.
—so... yes? —lucas asked.
max shrugged again, —yeah. i think he likes her.
dusting frowned, —likes her or likes that she likes him?
you walked down the stairs before anyone could answer.
steve couldn't make up his mind about the fact that you wanted to be with billy.
you hadn't been dragged into it, you hadn't been confused, you'd chosen billy. that was the part he couldn't get past. and billy kept pushing him, testing how far he could push before steve finally snapped. during basketball in p.e., billy snatched the ball from his hands and slammed his shoulder into him. steve hit the floor with a grunt, breath knocked from his chest. billy offered his hand, steve hesitated and then took it anyway.
billy yanked him up with far more force than necessary, pulling him close instead of letting go. their chest collided.
—plant your feet next time, harrington. i'm starting to think you like when things slip away from you so easily.
another time, billy watched you and steve laughing the hallway. steve said something stupid and you'd laughed so hard you had to grab his arm. it was real laughter. it felt easy. like before.
billy saw all of it, leaning against a locker, taking everything in. the way your fingers held his arm, the way steve looked at you like he couldn't help himself. billy's jaw tightened. he pushed himself off the locker and walked over, slidding one of his arms over your shoulders, in that same way steve hated so much, without asking, without hesitation. billy pulled you against him, breaking the moment in half.
—what's so funny?
you were still smiling, a little breathless, —steve's just... being steve.
billy hummed. his hand tightened around you, his head lifted to look at steve. —yeah, —billy said, —he's good at that, —he was doing a great job hiding the anger behind the confident, —thanks for keeping her entertained, harrington. wouldn't want her getting bored.
steve forced a smile, —anytime.
that same day, billy decided he had to make things clear with steve, and what other better place to be than the locker room showers after p.e. steve thought he had found a little peace while the shower water hit his face, until he found himself with tommy h at one side of him and billy at the other.
—you got a habit of laughing a little too hard lately, —billy said casually, not even making eye contact with him.
—you watching me now?
—funny thing is, i don't have to try, —billy smiled, not friendly.
silence stretched between them, broke only by the sound of water.
—she's not yours, —steve stated, —you don't own her.
billy closed the water and turned to look at steve, taking a step closer, invading his space just enough to make the point, —never said i did. but she keeps choosing me
and that landed exactly where billy meant it to because steve's shoulders tensed.
—you think this is some kind of competition?
billy tilted his head, —no. of course not. i think you already lost, harrington. but a pretty boy like you's got nothing to worry about. plenty of bitches in the sea, —he reached out and twisted the knob on steve's shower. steve stared at him, and billy leaned in to make sure he had steve's full attention, —stop messing with mine.
steve moved on instinct, fist clenching, ready to throw hands, but tommy h was suddenly there, grabbing his shoulder and yanking him back before he could land the first punch. you don't get to talk about her like that! billy didn't argue at steve's words, he just smirked and walked out of the showers, like he'd gotten exactly what he wanted.
billy was a good boyfriend.
he was always there, always knew where you were, who you were with, what time you'd be home. he liked picking you up instead of letting you walk, said it was safer that way. he noticed everything. your moods, your tone, the way your smile changed depending on who you were talking to. sometimes he'd ask questions that felt a little too specific, but you figured that was just because he cared.
billy couldn't stand steve, but he never told you to stop hanging out with him. he just reminded you, casually, of how steve looked at you, asked if you noticed it too, said he trusted you, but didn't trust him.
and it all snapped at the halloween party.
you arrived with billy, his hand firm around your waist, yours resting against his bare chest since he was just wearing his leather jacket. he'd refused a costume, said he didn't need one, and by the way people looked at him when you walked in told you billy was right. he was already a few drinks in, loose and dangerous, which was why he kept leaning down to kiss that sensitive spot behind your ear.
steve was across the room, dressed stupidly and perfectly for the occasion, all in black, hair perfectly styled. he was pouring jonathan and nancy a drink when your eyes met.
—what was that? —billy asked, still with his face hid in your neck.
—what was what? —you asked.
—that, —he said, head moving toward where steve stood.
—i just looked.
billy chuckled, but there was no humor in it, —you look at him a lot, —before you could respond, his hand came up to cup your cheek as he leaned in. he kissed you, his lips moving slow, meant to be seen. you kissed him back because everyone was watching anyway. steve turned his head almost immediately.
you pulled back first.
—i wanna go say hi to my friends.
—why? i'm right here, —billy pressed a quick kiss to your lips.
—it won't take long, —you answered, kissing him back just as quick, already stepping away. he watched you go, jaw tight, drink clenched in his hand a little too hard, for a moment, the party was something happening around him instead of something he was part of.
you found nancy, jonathan and steve in the kitchen, hands pulling you into quick hugs. nancy asked if you wanted a drink. jonathan made a joke about the music. the tension from your shoulders eased. you danced with nancy, laughing when you bumped into each other, and for the first time of the night, you weren't thinking about who might be watching.
you didn't notice when billy disappeared and you were in the bathroom with nancy when he appeared again.
billy pushed through the front door a few minutes later. he'd taken more drinks than he should've. his eyes scanned the room, not looking for you, but looking for steve. he crossed the room with purpose, making his way through the crowd like he expected people to move out of his way.
billy shoved steve hard in the chest, —you never stop, don't you?
steve stumbled, catching himself on the counter, —what's your problem?
—you. you're my fucking problem,—billy dug his finger in steve's chest, —you think i don't see it? watching her. smiling at her. waiting around like you still have a shot.
—i'm not doing anything. back off, —steve slapped his hand off him.
—every time i turn around, there you are. you think i'm stupid?
—there's some of that, yeah.
billy laughed, that laugh that he only let out when something annoyed him, —say it again.
—you heard me.
billy swung first.
his fist caught steve in the jaw, hard enough to snap his head to the side. steve immediately tasted the blood, but recovered fast, his shoulder going into billy's ribs, slamming him into the wall. billy laughed, throwing an elbow directly to steve's cheek.
they went down together, crashing into the floor, fists flying. jonathan tried to pull them apart and got shoved way. billy got on top for a second, forearm pressing into steve's throat, —stay away from her, harrington.
you and nancy made your way through the crowd, people packed together, shouting. then you saw it, steve and billy tangled together in the kitchen floor. you didn't think. you just moved, —stop, billy! —you shouted, pushing through the last few bodies. you grabbed billy's arm, —billy, please, stop!
he shoved you back with one arm, more instinct than intention, just clearing space like you were another obstacle. you stumbled, barely catching yourself before hitting the floor, already trying to get to them again, hands reaching out. nancy grabbed you by the shoulders and put herself between you and the mess, arms firm around you.
—don't. stay here.
jonathan and two other boys dragged billy away from steve. his chest was heaving, like he might break free any second, his blood and steve's mixing in his face and knuckles.
someone helped steve to sit up, hands shaking as he wiped the blood of his mouth. for a moment, it looked like he might stay there, folded on himself, then he slowly pushed himself up, everyone watching expecting him to falter but steve didn't. he spat blood onto the floor, wiped his mouth again, and turned away.
steve didn't look at you. he didn't look at anyone. he just walked away. people stepped back, clearing his path, trying not to touch him, like if they did he might shatter into million pieces.
—that's it! run away, you fucking coward! —billy shouted, voice cracking with rage and something uglier beneath it.
the fight was over and the party continued.
billy stopped struggling their grip and they finally released him. he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, smearing the blood instead of cleaning it. his eyes searched the room until he found you. billy expected you to come to him. to push past nancy and close the distance like you always did. to put your hands on his arms, telling him it was okay, that he just lost his temper, that you understood.
—come on, —billy said, holding out a hand, palm up, —let's go.
you didn't move.
he scoffed, —what? you mad now? he was asking for it. i was protecting what's mine.
—i'm not a thing, billy, —you said.
—you know what i mean.
—do i?
he bit the inside of his cheeks, his hand still reaching for you. —let's not do this here, okay? let's go.
you turned on your feet, past nancy, past the people partying, toward the door steve had already disappeared through. unbelievable, unbelievable! you heard billy shout over the volume of the music.
steve left a trail of small red drops on the floor that led to the bathroom. you pushed the door open and steve was there, bent over the sink, hands against the porcelain, blood dripping from his nose and lip into it as he stared at you through the mirror. for a second neither of you said anything, as you stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind you and steve spat into the sink when he felt the blood pooling in his mouth.
—you shouldn't do that, the bleeding will only get worse, —you grabbed the hand towel, ran it under cold water and handed it to him. steve took it, pressing it carefully to his mouth, then his nose. his hands were shaking, knuckles bruised. you had to swallow. it was all your fault, —okay, sit down.
steve hesitated but ended up on the edge of the tub. you stepped closed and you lifted his chin with your index finger and thumb. steve didn't resist, eyes looking into yours before looking away. he lowered the wet towel from his face. one of his eyes was starting to swell, the blood coming from his nose finally had finally stopped. you took the towel from him and pressed it against his mouth, wiping the blood.
—i'm sorry this happened, —you confessed, —it wouldn't have happened if...
—no. this isn't on you.
he hissed when you accidentally pressed the towel a bit harder against his cheek. you apologized again, —he went after you because of me. if i had...
—he went after me because that's who he is when he feels threatened. he's a monster.
you didn't say anything, just swallowed. you couldn't blame steve for talking about billy like that, not when his face was split and covered in blood, not when his knuckles were bruised, but you couldn't say you liked hearing those words about your boyfriend.
—i don't know what are you doing with him, —he confessed.
you shook your head and closed your eyes, you didn't want to hear it but steve was not going to let it slide this time. he had tried to tell you before, the comments he made about you, how billy was when you were not around, but every time steve brought it up, you'd get defensive, so he'd end up backing off. but not tonight.
—i keep telling myself it's none of my business, that you're smart and know what you're doing, but he's a terrible human being.
you keep shaking your head, you mumbled a stop but steve continued.
—i know what it looks like when someone needs to be in control more than they need to do things right, and that's him.
—please, —you whispered, —you don't understand.
—then help me. because from where i'm standing, he hurts people and calls it protection. he scares everyone in the room except you and that's not a good thing.
—because he's not like that with me.
—that doesn't make it better.
—i wanted it to be with you.
that knocked the air out of steve's chest harder than any of billy's fists.
—everyone knew. you knew. i never hid how i felt about you, steve. i thought if i waited, maybe you'd choose me back. but you didn't, and then billy showed up and he wanted me so loudly that he made me feel like it was possible to love me.
you didn't know when the tears started. one second you were standing there, trying to sound reasonable, the next your vision blurred and your chest ached.
—and you never made a move, and i thought it'd be better if i grew out of it, that you and i could just stay friends. but now you look at me, and you care about me more than ever, and you give me all this attention when it's already too late.
steve shook his head as he pushed himself up from the edge of the tub, his shaky hands held your cheeks as he looked into your eyes. his eyebrows were raised, seeing you cry hurt him more than anything billy could ever do or say to him.
—it's not too late, it's not.
his thumb brushed under your eyes, catching the tears as they fell. before you could answer, he kissed you once. steve just pressed his lips against yours and then he pulled away. he searched your face for something that would tell him he'd crossed a line, but instead you grabbed his wrists. not in a stop way. in a stay way.
steve kissed you again, his hands stayed on your cheeks, your fingers tightened around his wrists. your back pressed against the door, the cold wood contrasting to the heat of him as steve stepped closer, caging you with his body. he paused for a second, forehead brushing yours, checking in without words.
when you didn't let go and instead you leaned in, the kiss deepened.
your hands moved to the back of his head, pulling him impossibly closer. one of his slid from your cheek to your jaw and you just realized the tight knot in your stomach. steve's hands traveled down, hesitating, and when they reached your hips, he helped you up on the sink. your fingers dug into his hair as he positioned himself between your legs.
you could heard the music from the party through the door, you could taste a mix of your tears and his blood in his lips.
kissing steve was nothing like kissing billy. there was no feeling like you were being pulled into something faster than you could think. sometimes kissing billy felt thrilling, being wanted that fiercely, but other times, it felt like you disappeared inside it, like you were being pulled under. with steve, it felt like coming up for air.
and you weren't used to that sensation.
—steve... —you called him, your fingers loosing their grip on his hair.
he hummed against your mouth, too lost in the kiss.
—steve, i'm going back to him.
he pulled back fully, like you just burned him.
—i don't... i don't understand, you were just...
—steve... —you shook your head, —please.
—you can't do this to yourself. i'm not saying you come running to me, i'm not asking you to... —he rushed out, but you cut him.
—i'm not ready to leave billy. i can't leave him, i'm sorry, —you shook your head, tears again at the corner of your eyes as you pushed yourself off the sink. the distance between you and steve widened, this time forever.
steve called your name along with a please that sounded like a beg when you opened the door to leave the bathroom, you didn't turn around to look at him, you weren't sure you could ever leave if you did.
you stepped back into the noise, telling yourself that you were doing the right thing. because billy chose you. when no one else did, when you were tired of waiting, when steve let you slip through his fingers, billy took you in both hands and held you tight.
synopsis – you didn't know your sister's coach was this beautiful man named steve harrington... so you didn't really have any other choice but to fall in love with him.
fluff
a/n – i haven't written anything since september so sorry if this is bad. my requests for stranger things are open!
my stranger things masterlist
you drove to the baseball field earlier than the usual.
most days, you stayed parked in the car, scrolling through radio stations while you waited for your sister to finish practice. but today was different, because she needed to leave before training ended. your mom was supposed to take her to her doctor's appointment, but a messy work schedule meant the job fell to you.
so you shut off the engine, stepped out of the car, and walked to the field, already scanning for the coach. you rehearsed what you'd say in your head as you approached him, something short and polite, quick so you could leave as soon as possible.
he stood near the dugout, watching the kids play with so much focus that it was even funny. his hands rested on his hips as he barked instructions and clapped whenever someone got it right. a baseball cap sat on his head, brown long hair peeking out from underneath it. his blue jacket matched the team's equipment.
—hi, —you said when you were close enough.
he turned at the sound of your voice and you offered him a small smile, lips pressed together, trying to hide your surprise. he was nothing like you expected. the frown of concentration on his face softened and his hands dropped from his hips, his attention settled fully on you.
—hey, —he replied, also trying to hide his surprise. when was the last time a pretty girl like you had walked up to him instead of a concerned parent or an overly competitive dad?
you swallowed, nerves suddenly creeping in, and you slid your hands into the back pockets of your jeans. his lips also pressed together and you realized you needed to speak before the silence turned awkward.
—i'm, uh... —you gestured toward the field, —my sister's on the team. she has to leave a little early today. doctor's appointment.
his face brightened with recognition. she was the only girl on the team, hard not to remember her, especially since she always talked about coach steve like he'd been personally sent down from heaven. he nodded, already glancing at the field trying to spot her, then he looked at the watch on his wrist.
—are you in a hurry? it's her turn to bat, she'll be done in less than a minute.
—oh, no, not really, i can wait.
he nodded slowly, hands returning to his hips. you nodded back, neither of you looking away. the eye contact lasted longer than it should have, it felt heavy, it made your stomach feel funny. you broke first, pulling one hand from your pocket and offering it to him, along with your name. i'm steve, he reached out to take your hand.
steve then turned to face the field, clapping his hands, encouraging his kids. you stood behind him. your sister stepped up to the plate, grabbing the bat as she looked around until she spotted you. her whole face lit up instantly and she lifted one hand to wave, almost dropping the bat.
—hey! don't loose focus now! show them how it's done!
you looked at steve as he shouted, surprised by the warmth behind his intensity. your sister nodded at him from her position. the pitcher threw and she swung. the crack of the bat rang out across the field as she took off running.
—that's it! —he yelled, —run it out!
you laughed softly, taking your hands to your mouth and letting out a let's go. steve glanced back at you, catching the expression on your face. —she's great. she's got a great swing and she's faster than most of the kids out here, —there was something in his voice, like he couldn't help the admiration. you smiled, nodding along.
she managed to score a full home run, getting lost in a group of boys hugging her as you and her couch clapped from the distance. then she broke free from the group and sprinted to you, helmet tucked under her arm, face flushed.
—did you see that? —she asked, breathlessly, going for a hug from her coach. she basically threw herself at steve.
—i did. you were amazing, —you answered.
—it was perfect. perfect timing, perfect swing, —steve added.
her smile grew wider as he set her back on the ground. —really?
—really, —he nodded, —couldn't have done it better myself. you ready to go early today, champ?
she nodded, then paused, looking between the two of you for a second before she went to grab her things. steve growled a drink water at her and instead of heading back to the team, his attention drifted right back to you. her rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly less confident than he'd been shouting orders minutes ago.
—uh... you coming to the game this weekend? —he asked.
the question caught you by surprise.
—oh, —you blinked, —i hadn't really...
steve hurried to add, —i mean, if you don't have any plans... she always plays better when she's got fans there.
you smiled, —i'll try and make it on time.
relief flashed across his face, —cool. i'll... uh... see you both then.
your sister came back just then, bag over her shoulder, eyes sparkling like she'd just won more than a game. he tried to remember if he'd seen you before, at any game, at any family meeting, but he'd be able to tell if that was the case.
—i'm ready, — she announced, far too innocently.
as you walked to the parking together, you looked back over your shoulder. steve was still watching you from the sidelines. the moment your eyes met, he quickly looked away, suddenly very interested in fixing a line of dirt near the dugout.
—couch steve's great, isn't he?
—he's not so bad.
you weren't able to stop smiling all the way to the car.
steve barely ever looks at the stands.
he doesn't care what goes on them, he doesn't care about mom arguing over snacks, even less about the angry dads yelling about calls and the little siblings running up and down the bleachers. none of it mattered to him. his focus stayed on the field, on his kids, making sure they were having fun and playing their best.
that's how it always was. except today.
steve caught himself looking up before the warm ups were even over. just quick looks at first, but you weren't there. your mom was, though. steve recognized her immediately, they'd worked together so hard for your sister to be allowed on the boy team. paperwork, meetings, conversations that had gone longer than either of them wanted... hawkins didn't have a girls' team and steve had refused to let that be the end of the discussion.
you, however, were nowhere to be found.
steve told himself it didn't matter, that it was just another thing to add to the list of things he didn't have time to care about. still, his eyes moved more times to the stands than he'd like to admit during the beginning of the game.
and nothing.
he almost convinced himself he'd imagined the whole thing, the way you'd stood behind him at practice, the sound of your laugh. almost, until he heard a come on! run it out! and his head snapped up before he could stop himself. there you were, halfway up the bleachers, next to your mom, with your hands cupped around your mouth.
your sister found you in the crowd and she pushed herself harder to the first base. steve felt his chest loosen, something he hadn't realized was tight since it started.
when the end was called, a roar came out from the kids on the field. they won the game. they were jumping, hugging and high-fiving their coach. your sister climbed onto steve's back, laughing, and he wrapped one arm around her just to make sure she didn't fall. in the middle of all the chaos, steve looked at the bleachers and you were smiling and clapping. for a second, the chaos of the field faded and it was just the two of you.
you and your mom got into the field like the rest of the families.
—good job, little one, that was amazing, —you knelt to hug your sister as she threw her arms around you.
—the first game you come to see and we won! —she said, burying her face in your shoulder.
—guess she's our good lucky charm now, —steve said as he stepped up beside you, still a little breathless from the celebration.
his cheeks were a little flustered, whether from running around with the kids or from something entirely different, he couldn't tell. he took off his cap.his fingers ran through his perfect hair and then settled it back into place. you quickly focused again on your little sister and your mom, who was fixing her pony tails, doing your best not to be so obvious.
—that means she has to come to every game now! —your sister said excited.
—yeah, i was just thinking the same, —steve laughed.
your mom looked between the two of you, a small knowing smile at her lips as she let you know that her and your sister will be heading home now, that they'll wait for you there. and she winked before she left. you closed your eyes, forgetting about the idea of not being obvious.
for a second, neither of you spoke as you waved goodbye to your sister who was giving you one last look before leaving you alone with steve. the field was quieter now, the crowd was leaving, the sun lowering.
—uh, —steve started, —i'm really glad you came.
—yeah, me too, —you confessed, —took me a bit to get here but i'm glad i made it.
the silence stretched longer.
—do you have...
—would you like to...
you both said at the same time. you laughed out of nervous and he chuckled too, gesturing for you to go first.
you took a breath, —do you have any plans now?
he tried not to smile too big, not trying to look too hopeful, —not really, —he admitted, —just the usual post game. making sure everyone gets picked up, you know...
you nodded, looking around. steve's eyes on you were making you more nervous if possible, everything you had practiced on your way there slipping right out of your head, —maybe we could go have something to eat.
he just stared at you, like he wasn't sure he'd heard you right. then his eyes sparkled and a smile broke through, —yeah, i'd really like that.
by the second date, you were already an familiar face in the games. you waved at him from the bleachers, and every time, steve pretended he wasn't waiting for it. when the games ended, he walked you home, hands brushing against yours like it was accidental. sometimes your sister walked with you, chattering nonstop about practice and plays, leading the way as steve quietly intertwined his fingers with yours behind her back.
by the third date, steve was picking you up from your house. he sat in his car, fixing his hair in the inside mirror for the third time, when soft knocks sounded against the window, just to find your little sister waving at him. he was mortified but he waved back, trying to look cool as your mom called her from the inside of your house. she disappeared back trough the door just as you stepped outside.
—oh my god, —steve said when you got into the car, hands covering his face.
—it's okay, —you giggled.
he peeked at you between his fingers, —i was not prepared for that.
—you handled it fine. she already likes you.
that night, when he parked in front of your house, he kissed you. his hand caressed your cheek as yours rested against his chest, feeling his heart racing just as fast as yours.
by the fourth date, steve already told all of his friends about you. your name slipped into conversations, sprawled on the couch at dustin's house, drinking in some bar with jonathan, nancy and robin... every story somehow circled back to you.
she comes to the games now, he'd said casually. she's great with her sister, he'd added another time. she's so smart, she's so beautiful, oh she loves this song... everything was about you. and of course, his friend noticed, because as much as steve tried to hide it with we're just seeing each other, you know? we're getting to know each other, there was more than that. everyone could see it.
by the fifth date, the question hung in the air. your leg wouldn't stop bouncing. you tried to focus on the movie playing in his living room, anything other than the thought circling your mind. was he going to ask it?
steve sat beside you, one arm around your shoulders, the other one resting along the back of the couch, fingers tapping. he kept looking at you like he wanted to say something, but the words were stuck behind his teeth. every time he opened his mouth, he closed it again, running a hand through his hair instead.
he paused the movie. —i've been thinking.
your legs stills instantly.
—i know we were just... seeing each other. taking it slow. and i like that. i really do, —steve pauses to let out a nervous laugh, —but i also don't really want to pretend this doesn't mean something.
your chest tightens.
steve swallows, —i like you. a lot. and i was wondering if you'd want to, um... be my girlfriend.
you nod before you even realize you're doing it.
—yeah? —he asks, just to be sure.
—of course yes, steve, —and you lean in to kiss him, but this time is different, like the question had been the only thing standing between you and this moment.
by the sixth date, you brought your little sister to her favorite pizza place. it wasn't planned as a big talk. you'd told yourself you'd keep it casual. your mom already knew about you and steve, had given you that soft smile and about time look. but your sister had to know too.
—this is my favorite place ever, —she said, mouth full, sauce on her cheek.
—i know. that's why we're here, —you grabbed a napkin to wipe it away, —also, because we wanted to tell you something. you know how sometimes people start as friends...
—and then they hung out a lot, —she added.
steve nodded by your side, letting you handle the situation, telling your sister however you wanted to.
—and then, they realize they like each other more than just friends.
she stared at you for a long second.
—that's kinda what happened to steve and me.
steve held his breath.
—and now you kiss in the lips?
—exactly, yeah, —steve answered a little too fast. you stepped on his foot on purpose. your sister laughed, letting out an ew! —you asked!
she fell asleep on the backseat of steve's car, her excitement finally burning out. i've got her, he said, unbuckling her seat belt and slid out of the car. he lifted her gently, one arm on her back, the other one under her knees. she snuggled enough to tuck her face into his shoulder. your chest tightened at the sight.
at the next game you appeared wearing the same blue cap and jacket as steve's. he'd handed you the spare he had and the fabric still smelled like him. you took your usual spot on the bleachers, next to your mom and steve noticed immediately. he was in the middle of talking to the kids, he had to bit the inside of his cheek to not smile too big. your sister spotted you next, nudging on of her teammates and pointing at you.
—eyes on me! —steve called out.
and your eyes were on him. every so often, his were on you too. and every time, you were still there, wearing his colors, cheering for the team and for him. by the end of the game, he jogged over to where you sat.
—you know, you're really committing to the whole team spirit thing.
you smiled, adjusting your cap, —what can i say? i support my coach.
please i'm rewatching stranger things and i want to start writing for steve again but i have zero ideas please send me some requests i'd write anything fluff, smut, angs ANYTHING
synopsis – being a vampire means that your birthdays were meaningless until tyler, who is not so secretly in love with you, makes sure you don't forget this one.
fluff
you were sitting at your usual table at the weathervane. your book lay open in front of you though your eyes kept moving behind the counter, searching for tyler. he was busy, hands full, lost in his own rhythm. finally, when you managed to turn your attention fully to your book, a cup of coffee slid toward you, in the foam, carefully written with cinnamon, were the words happy birthday.
tyler slid into the seat across from you, a proud smile on his face.
—i know you're usually a juice kind of girl because it helps with your vitamins, but i've been working on that all week.
you smiled, setting your book aside and wrapping your cold hands around the warm cup. —is there anyone enid didn't tell?
you meant your birthday. among vampires, it was not really common to celebrate it. years mixed together and somewhere along the way, the day stopped feeling important, you lost the sense of beginning or end. you had stopped waiting for cakes or gifts or voices singing your name. what was to celebrate when your existence was endless?
—well, who do you think delivered the cake?
your eyes widened a bit. this morning enid surprised you with a massive birthday cake with red berries and coated in white chocolate so sweet it had made your fangs ache, still you hadn't been able to stop eating. you had to pause and think about the last time you'd blown out candles prior to today. if you'd had blood still running in your veins, you were sure your cheeks would be hot by now, knowing that tyler was the one that made the cake.
—it was super nice, ty, thank you. and thank you for this, —you took a sip out of your coffee.
he showed you a little smile, one that said that he loved doing it.
—oh, is that, uh... that enid's gift? —tyler asked, pointing at the book you'd been reading before.
you nodded, —when i told her i hadn't read it, she was so offended.
tyler reached across the table, picking up the book. he quickly recognized the tittle, —twilight, —he read out loud, —a human falling for a vampire.
you took another sip out of your coffee. you knew why enid gifted you that book, she wasn't subtle, and tyler wasn't pointing out the plot of the story just to tease. the way his eyes looked at you after he said it told you he knew too. it was all about you two.
you set the cup down, —enid thinks she's clever.
—maybe she's just observant, —tyler rested the book on the table.
you met his eyes.
tyler always spoke about his feelings for you so lightly. he didn't seem to care who knew, didn't hesitate to admit that he was crazy for you. but for you wasn't so simple. of course you liked him back, more than you wanted to admit, yet the truth was as sharp as your fangs. you were a vampire and he was human. his blood called you in ways you tried not to think about, a constant reminder of your nature.
—what are your plans for tonight?
you leaned back, relieved he'd changed the subject, —nothing special, just hang out with wednesday and enid.
—so, if i asked you out to dinner with me... would that be something you'd be interested in?
the words caught you off guard. your first instinct was to build up a quick excuse, you could already hear yourself saying something like enid won't forgive if i skip out on them tonight. it was simple and believable. but before you could speak, a knock rattled against the glass right in front of your table. both you and tyler turned, and there they were, your two friends, one dressed head to toe in pink, the other in all black.
enid had the biggest grin in her face, her thumbs raised high as she mouthed a go! say yes! wednesday gave you the softest wink, letting you know that she'd being part of this plan all along.
—i'm guessing... that's a yes? —tyler said, eyes sparkling.
you took a deep breath, even though your lungs stopped working long ago, —yeah, —you said softly, —i'd like that. dinner with you.
for a moment, tyler just stared, as if making sure he'd heard you right. then his whole face lit up. another knock on the glass and enid's breath fogged the window as the leaned forward. she pointed at you, then at tyler, then she raised her eyebrows. tyler laughed and lifted his hands to gave her a thumbs up. your blonde friend threw her arms into the air like she'd just won the lottery, she tugged wednesday's sleeve to drag her away as if their mission were complete.
tyler looked at his watch again, just two minutes before your date time and you hadn't shown up yet. maybe you thought about it and came to the conclusion that accept had been a mistake. a vampire and a human. it sounded like the start of a tale, not a date.
but he caught it, the crunch of leaves somewhere in the distance. his head snapped toward the sound, but before tyler could even blink again, you were there. vampire speed. you'd crossed the woods, following his scent, and now you were standing just inches away, close enough for him to see the red in your eyes.
—you're here, —he said, almost to convince himself.
—yeah, —you brushed a leaf from your coat, —did you think i wasn't coming?
tyler showed you a guilty smile.
—i need you to close your eyes, —he said, and you tilted your head. the crypt behind him didn't exactly scream safe surprise. —just trust me.
and because you trusted him, you straightened your shoulders and let your eyelids shut. with your eyes closed you were even more sensitive to everything now. the call of an owl at the distance, the wind whispering through the branches, the sound of the door of the crypt opening and his heartbeat. you heard it clearly, steady, pushing blood through every vein, every inch of his body. it echoed in your ears, too tempting, every pulse called the hunger you tried to control.
you felt the warmth of his hand at the small of your back, guiding you inside the crypt. you allowed him to, moving step by step. the air shifted as you crossed the threshold, you heard the creak of the door as it closed behind you, the echo of tyler's breath and always, always his heartbeat.
—alright, —his hand remained on you, —you can open your eyes now.
the crypt was decorated with warm led lights across the stone walls. in the center, a blanket was spread carefully on the floor with a picnic basket and some candles around it. right beside all of it rested a bouquet of red roses.
you turned to look at tyler, amazed by the way he'd transformed the cold crypt into something gentle.
—what? no one's ever taken you on a picnic inside a crypt before? —he asked, teasing.
—shocking, right? my standards must be too high.
tyler's smiled widened, —then i'll just have to keep them there.
you both sat on the blanket, next to each other. you drew your legs to your chest while tyler leaned on one arm, his body turned towards you, close but not too much. and for a moment, you let your gaze wander around the soft lights like stars on the stone walls, the flicker of the candles, the bouquet of roses and its smell...
and while you admired the scene, tyler admired you.
the warm glow caught in your features, in your skin that looked like porcelain, in the depth of your red eyes, in the delicate tips of your fangs that showed when you talked...
—does anyone knows we're here? you know, just in case that giant stone door decides to trap us inside, —you asked.
tyler huffed a laugh, —enid and wednesday know. they, uh... helped me a bit with this...
—wednesday addams helped with this?
—she picked the crypt.
you let out a soft laugh.
and you kept laughing all date long, to his jokes, his terrible stories and the little accidents like him nearly tipping the bowl of snacks. you couldn't remember the last time you'd laughed this much, especially not on your birthday.
tyler had prepared some homemade snacks, laid in little containers inside the basket. you couldn't help but notice how much care he'd put into them, sandwiches cut into perfect halves, fruit arranged like he'd thought about colors, and those cookies that you loved carefully wrapped in paper. if you'd felt hunger the way humans do, you were certain the only thing you'd want to be fed for the rest of your life would be his food.
he even made homemade juice, two flavors bottled in glass: red berries and orange, knowing you lacked some vitamins thanks to your vampire lifestyle.
—okay, don't hate me. i'm just gonna come out and say it.
you took a slow sip of your juice, knowing that he'd try again, not being sure if you could keep pushing him away all he did for you.
—i want us to be more than friends, —he said. the words came out so easily.
you swallowed the juice, looking at him. he had a soft smile in his lips, one that let you know that he thought that this time would work, that you will not deny the way you felt about him.
—you'll snap out of it, —you answered, keeping your tone casual.
his smile didn't disappear, —don't do that. discount my feelings.
—you know things between vampires and humans don't usually end well.
—yeah, you can keep using that to push me away, but it's not going to work. i'm not scared, —tyler moved closer to you, and took the glass of juice of your hands, setting it aside. you allowed him to.
—you should be, —your voice didn't sound as intimidating as you wanted. his warm hand went to caress your cold cheek, his caramel eyes never leaving your crimson ones, as he leaned closer.
—i'm tougher than you think.
you didn't move away.
and tyler's lips met yours, testing, letting you decide how much to surrender. your fangs brushed his lower lip, but he didn't pull back, instead, tyler leaned closer. you felt your hands twitch, unsure whether to touch or remain still. tyler responded, tilting his head, deepening the kiss yet letting you set the pace. your lips were cold, almost icy, carrying no pulse of their own, yet tyler didn't flinch.
your hand rested against his chest as you also tilted your head, pressing a little more into him. and you felt it. the quick of his heartbeat beneath your fingers, beating the fastest you'd ever felt it. he was so real, so alive, so undeniably human.
it was like your coldness didn't scare him but drew him in closer, and his heart kept racing, louder and faster with each passing second he spent kissing you, as if it was beating for the both of you.
the moment stretched, until his chest rose and fell a bit faster than normal against your hand, and only then you realized why.
tyler needed air.
you pulled back slightly, enough to allow him to breath. his lips were parted, his face a little flushed. you stayed still, staring at him, watching the human necessity of him, the way he had to pause, while you never would.
—tougher than i think, huh? —you teased him.
—yeah... i'll have to work on my stamina.
you paused, holding his eyes, long enough for him to think the teasing was over, long enough for him to know that you were going to push him away again. —i think it could work out. us. i think we could work out, and i know you think it too, —he said, almost pleading.
you pressed your lips together, —yeah, but...
tyler waited, he was ready to debate any objection you could throw at him. now you were both sitting with your legs close to your chests.
—... you love cooking with garlic.
he raised his eyebrows, tyler expected anything, but not that. he couldn't help it, a small laugh left his lips before he could stop it.
—don't laugh! i've smelled it, and it's disgusting, plus, it could literally kill me.
—i can live without garlic, —he shook his head with a smile.
—and you love taking photos. we could never go to a photo booth, or take a mirror selfie. no wedding pictures, ty, you know us vampires don't...
—i don't need any of that, —tyler shook his head again, —you know it's kind of flattering that you're already thinking about our wedding.
you rolled your eyes. now he was realizing all the things little things that worried you, things he had never thought about before.
—we'll hire an artist to paint us, —he answered, like it was the simplest thing in the world.
if you had a living heart, you were sure it would shrink with each of tyler's solutions to what you considered to be problems.
—an artist... sounds safer. no risk of me disappearing from the photo mid smile.
tyler smiled as he leaned in, just enough for his lips to brush yours in a quick kiss. when he pulled back, you didn't meet his eyes. instead you looked down at your hands resting on your lap. he noticed instantly. —what happens? —he removed your hair from your face so he could look at you, even though you were avoiding him.
—what about blood, ty? you'll be fine watching me feed?
you looked at tyler, studying his face, expecting a reaction. the thought of him watching you wipe the blood from your mouth with the back of your hand or seeing the red in your eyes when your hunger was unbearable, had always been enough to keep him away.
but tyler just pressed his lips into a smile and leaned again to kiss your cold forehead, as if he had already pictured those moments and decided they wouldn't stop him.
—look, i know what you are, i've always known, and i'm okay with it. i don't care if it's dark, or dangerous, or messy, so stop trying to scare me away, it's not going to work.
you shook your head, slowly, finally giving in. there wasn't much more you could do if he had chosen to stand by your side anyways.
—enid's gonna freak out when we tell her about us.
tyler raised his eyebrows, —so there's an us?
you froze. for a second you looked for a reason to take it back, looking through the old ones you had used. too dangerous, too, different, too impossible. but nothing came, all you saw was tyler. your lips pressed into a line, and you finally nodded.
synopsis – season 1!virgin!tyler having sex with virgin!reader for the first time.
a/n – my tyler requests are open! i love writing for season 1 tyler (especially x vampire!reader) i must say, so i'll give priority to those requests.
smut. fluff
❀ tyler was your first boyfriend and you were his first girlfriend. before you started dating you'd been good friends but dating was a completely different thing, specially when neither of you had much idea of how to handle it. it was all too innocent. the nervous smiles, the way holding hands felt like the boldest thing in the world, the long late-night texts where neither of you wanted to say goodbye...
but it was also too uncertain. you both second guessed everything. how often you should call? where you spending the right amount of time together? were you supposed to hold hands in front of friends or would that look silly? should you be saying i love you yet or was it way too soon?
✿ one of the things you were most unsure about was sex. it was easy to ignored sometimes, but other times it was impossible not to think about. neither of you were sure when the right time was supposed to be, or what if even meant to be ready. was everyone else moving faster? were you supposed to want it more? less?
you caught yourself comparing you to other couples, wondering if they were moving faster, if they knew what they were doing while you were still learning the basics. you never asked each other, but it was there. in the nervous laughter when things went too far, in the way one of you would pull back just before the moment led into more.
❀ and there has been some moments... like the first time you slept together and you woke up in his arms, with your back against his chest. tyler was still peacefully but oh my god you could feel his morning erection poking into your thigh. you didn't know what to do. should you stay still and pretend nothing happened? should you pull away before he noticed you noticing?
and then while you were moving around the kitchen making breakfast his eyes stared for more than necessary the curve of your ass to the point tyler could notice that your pajama shorts were a little see through and he could see your panties. he quickly looked away, pretending to focus on the eggs in the pan, anything to hide the way his cheeks were heating up.
✿ it was one afternoon when you were at his house. you brought all your stuff, knowing his dad would be gone the entire evening and night. you ordered dinner, laughed over what to pick, and sat cross legged on the living room floor, eating straight out of the boxes and stealing bites from each other's plates. you played video games and tyler laughed every single time you lost and you accused him of being a terrible boyfriend for not letting you win at least once.
then, when it was getting late, you went to his room. you sat in his bed next to him. tyler had his laptop on his legs, scrolling through movies until you both agreed on something.
the room was dim except for the glow of the screen and soft lamp in the corner. as the movie played, you found yourself less focused on the story and more aware of the little things: the way his arm around you and rubbed your shoulder, how you stretched out your legs, brushing his and he didn't move away...
tyler lowered his head and pressed a sweet kiss to the top of your head. so innocent and so natural, like he always did. you couldn't help but smile as you turned your face toward him and leaned closer, giving a short kiss to his lips in return. now tyler was the one smiling. his free hand, the one not holding you close, came to brush your cheek and guide your face to his. tyler kissed you again, this time not breaking away.
the kiss deepened and you found yourself leaning more and more into him. tyler slid the laptop off his legs so there was nothing left between you two and he guided you closer, pulling you into his lap.
❀ there was nothing new about this. you'd make out in his lap before, and his hands had rested at your waist like they did now. but tonight was different, because instead of pushing away and laugh awkwardly when tyler got hard under you, you rolled your hips at his, almost involuntarily, but willing to know how it felt.
you both let out a moan into each other's mouth and that's when you broke the kiss. for a moment, you looked at each other's, waiting for the nervous laugh, for the playful push back, but neither of you moved. his eyes searched yours, asking a question he couldn't quite say out loud, and you realized you were asking the same.
so instead of saying anything, your lips met again and your hips rolled against tyler's one more time and his hands held your waist tighter. you felt how his mouth pressed harder against yours.
✿ tyler played with the edge of your pajama t-shirt. you were nervous. it wasn't like when he sees you with a bikini at the beach, it was more intimate. you hesitated for a moment but you ended up lifting your arms, feeling how a heat rush ran to your cheeks.
he pulled the t-shirt over your head and his fingers looked for the hook of your bra. tyler looked at you before continuing until you gave him a soft nod and he struggled, because he had never unhooked a bra and doing it without looking was even harder. you stayed still, letting him figure it out until you felt the click and it came out. you also took his shirt off and timidly and your hands rested against his abs.
❀ and he was so respectful as you always knew he'd be. tyler asked for permission before attaching his lips to your nipple, and you didn't know if he did it on purpose but his teeth brushed against your sensitive nipple and made you moan louder. his other hand rested in your hip, waiting for a sign that you wanted more, and that sign came into your hand resting on top of this and encouraging him to help you move.
✿ the rest of the undressing was clumsy and it wasn't sexy at all. before you stood up from him and when you felt his hand clutching at the fabric of your shorts, you broke away from his lips, just enough to talk.
—wait, tyler...
he looked at you worried. wanted you to stop? had he done something wrong? went too fast?
—i haven't shaved, —you admitted, cheeks burning. —i didn't know this was happening tonight... i don't know if you wanna keep going.
for a moment, the two of you just looked at each other, and then, slowly, a small smile appeared at your lips.
❀ you had to stand from him to pull down your pajama shorts and panties, tripping with the fabric from the nervousness. tyler lifted his hips from the bed and took off his pants and underwear.
being naked in front of him wasn't as embarrassing as you thought. tyler had always shown you just how in love he was with your body, with every curve, every mark... he didn't care about the months you'd gained or lost weight, or whether you had body hair, or any of the little things you'd always worried about.
you caught the way his ears turned pink, his face flushed, and in that moment, oh my god, you realized you were staring, but you hadn't meant to, it was just that you'd never seen one in real life and you couldn't believe it was really happening.
—i'm sorry, i didn't mean to...
he shook his head and reached for your hand, but you stopped.
—can i...? can you be on top for tonight?
he nodded, almost before you finished talking, —of course.
✿ so you lay on his bed. knees up, legs spread, waiting for him. tyler reached for the drawer in his bed night table and you saw the a box full of condoms. your eyes widened a bit and tyler noticed and he realized that you probably were thinking that, even though you'd never gone that far together, he had a box full of condoms sitting in his drawer.
—it's not... i wasn't... i didn't even buy it, my dad gave it to me.
and if your cheeks weren't burning enough at the sight of so many condoms, now the thought of his dad handing him the box of condoms made your stomach twist in embarrassment. you pressed your face into your hands to hide the nervous laugh.
❀ tyler leaned over you, resting his weight on his hands on either side of your head. he looked down at you, trying to find any hint in your face that would let him know that you were not sure about this or that you wanted to stop, but there wasn't.
—you sure? —he felt the need to ask one last time.
you nodded, fingers threading through the curls at the back of his head. with one of his hands, he wrapped his fingers around himself, lining up against your entrance and he pushed inside you, careful, paying attention to any sign that you were uncomfortable. you swallowed, repositioning yourself in the bed.
—hurts?
you shook your head, —just a little uncomfortable.
—tell me if it gets worse.
you nodded and pulled him down to kiss his lips. tyler pushed deeper and you both moaned into each other's mouths. your legs squeezed him, encouraging to keep going, and so he did, until he bottomed you. tyler stayed like that for a moment, letting you adjust, not wanting to move until you told him it was okay, but also so he could focus on not coming right there.
✿ his pace was calm, not wanting to rush the moment, not wanting to hurt you and his lips never left yours, sometimes only to press his forehead against yours, your moans and breaths mingling. and then tyler's hips got faster and your legs wrapped around his body, trying to bring him closer, you both wanting to show each other how bad you wanted this. but still the carefulness was there, even as the urgency in both of you grew. the moment you breath caught too sharply in your throat, he slowed, worried he was pushing when he shouldn't and you had to whisper to keep going.
❀ and you felt how a tight nod started forming in the lower part of your abdomen, one that made you roll your hips against tyler's, needing more. he came with a deep groan that gave you goosebumps, yet you couldn't seem to reach that same high.
tyler kept going because he knew you hadn't finished yet and because he didn't want to be one of those guys that can't make her girlfriend finish. you started to get desperate, so you sneak your hand between your bodies, looking for your clit.
—let me, —he whispered, and he replaced your hand with his.
your back arched, your eyes closed shut. you let yourself relax into his touch as you felt his lips working on your neck, and it didn't take long until you were clenching around him and coming with a loud whine.
✿ the aftercare was so natural. you looked at each other, catching your breaths. tyler was still on top of you, and you couldn't help but laugh out of awkwardness.
—i'll bring you water, —he said, removing himself from you. the first thing he did after taking off the condom was to reach for his underwear, a sudden wave of shyness taking over him.
you nodded, also reaching for your panties and bra, —and i'll go to the bathroom.
later that night, you curled up against him, hiding yourself in his arms as the movie you had abandoned halfway through played again. his body was warm and the rise and fall of his chest breath helped you relax completely, letting the intensity of what happened earlier melt away.
synopsis (requested) – reader is an outcast who notoriously hears people’s thoughts. yet she can’t hear tyler’s. she can hear the hyde’s thoughts. intrigue takes over and they both can’t leave each other alone.
angst. fluff
you're practicing with enid, wednesday and tyler. since it was tyler's break, he sat at the table with the three of you. your parents, well known among the outcasts as some of the greatest psychics of their generation, had been insistent lately. be sharper, more precise. their words echoed in your mind as you tried to focus on enid's thoughts.
you had chosen the weatherbane to practice because there were more people here. more noise, more distractions. if you could do it here, anywhere else would feel easy.
you shut your eyes, getting into enid's head, —is it a bunny?
enid clapped her hands together, —yes! well done!
before you could celebrate with her, wednesday intervened.
—really vague, —she added. —what color? how big is it? domestic or wild?
tyler chuckled. when your eyes moved to him, you caught that same curious look he always wore when you used your abilities. —don't be so hard on her. she's doing great. you're doing great.
you pressed your lips together into a smile at his compliment.
—try again. if you can't identify details under pressure, then this practice is meaningless. try with tyler.
you gulped.
not once in the time you'd been friends with tyler had you been able to read him.
everyone else, even the most guarded minds, gave away something. enid's type was the easiest, her mind was loud, clear, colorful, let you in easily, not even trying to hide the chaos of her feelings. puppies, nail polish, a half formed crush on someone she hadn't told you about yet. her thoughts sparked brightly, almost too much sometimes.
wednesday's on the other hand was like a forest full of traps set to snap the moment you stepped too far. sometimes, when you brushed against her thoughts by accident, you swore she noticed and her eyes cut to you, as if she could feel you there, daring you silently to trespass.
tyler, though... tyler was nothing like that. actually, he was nothing. like a tv with no signal, just a dead gray screen, and emptiness that went on as if there had never been anything to begin with. you knew why that happened, and it was not because tyler didn't have a single thought behind those beautiful caramel eyes.
it happened the same to your mother the first time she tried to read your father, to your aunts and grandmothers with their husbands. the mind didn't go silent because there was nothing there, it went silent because love was louder.
you didn't want to admit it but you were in love with tyler.
you couldn't back down and you couldn't tell them because it'd be too embarrassing, so you took a deep breath and tried to get inside him. you pushed into his mind gently at first, searching for a crack, a flicker of a thought you could use.
nothing.
not emptiness, not resistance. just cold silence that stretched like a night with no stars.
your chest tightened. you pressed harder.
there was a part of his mind, darker than the rest. like a door. your parents taught you about them early on, about boundaries you weren't supposed to cross them. wednesday's mind was full of them, enid had none at all, and tyler had only one. you knew you shouldn't touch it, the first time you crossed it, it had been unbearable. screams, pain, like voices clawing at your skull. it had driven you out so violently you couldn't breathe.
and yet if you pulled away now and left tyler's mind empty handed, they'd all see your failure, and worst, wednesday might know about your feelings for him. your pulse sounded in your ears as you reached for it. for a second, you heard something in the middle of all the darkness. a low growl, the scrape of claws, and then the screams. those damn screams.
you opened your eyes, breathless.
tyler and enid looked confused, wednesday with that expressionless face, but her silence told you she knew something had happened.
—i don't want to do this anymore, i'm too tired, —you left your back fall against the chair, exhaling hard.
enid nodded, looking at wednesday before she could complain, —you've been pushing yourself too hard.
wednesday just sat there. she didn't believe you. she knew you weren't just tired.
—i'll go to the bathroom, —you said and pushed yourself up from the chair before anyone could argue.
you leaned against the sink, pressing your palms against the cold porcelain as you let out a long breath. when your eyes lifted, trying to focus on your reflection in the mirror, she was already there. wednesday. standing just behind you. you hadn't even heard her come inside.
—tell me what you saw, —she demanded.
—i didn't see anything.
she tilted her head, —you're not tired. you're hiding. tell me what you saw.
you turned to look at her, —i didn't see anything, okay?! it's dark when i get in his mind! i can't see anything!
—so that's it. not tired. just hopelessly smitten, —of course wednesday knew about what that meant, there were some psychics in her family too. —you can't read him because you don't want to, it's because you want him too much. enid will be thrilled to know.
your cheeks burned, —it's not...
—... love? —she interrupted. —don't even bother denying it.
she left the bathroom. you closed your eyes and shook your head. now wednesday knew about your feelings for tyler, and soon enid will too, but at least you'd managed to cover what you heard.
the next day you walked into the weathervane after class as usual, your eyes scanning instinctively for tyler behind the counter. the cutest smile appeared on his lips when he saw you, his whole face lighting up and you couldn't help but get a little nervous. you raised a hand in a small wave and tyler nodded back, already moving to make your usual order without having to ask.
—here you have, —he said as he placed your drink on the table. the weathervane was almost empty so tyler could afford to slide into the seat in front of you.
—thank you, —you wrapped your hands around the mug.
—how are you? feeling any better?
you nodded. yesterday you left saying you didn't feel good, and it wasn't entirely false. the dizziness after trying to hard to get inside his mind was real.
—good. you scared me a little.
—i'm fine now, —you said quickly. —but i want to try again.
tyler blinked, —what? now? i think you should rest, yesterday you didn't look...
—yes, now, —you cut him off.
for a moment, tyler just studied you, his caramel eyes searching yours trying to figure out how serious you were. he looked somewhat concerned but he didn't push further. —alright. if you're sure.
—could you... let me hold your hands? it'd be easier for me like that.
—sure, —he extended his hands across the table, letting yours find his. you just let your palms rest against his, feeling the warmth of his skin, his fingers resting against your wrist without pressing.
—i need you to close your eyes with me this time.
and he showed you a little smile and did as you said. you swallowed hard and closed yours too. you focused on your breathing, and then on his. with your fingers resting against his wrist you could feel his pulse, and the weathervane noises faded to nothing, replaced by the hum of his heartbeat.
you pushed into his mind and that familiar darkness welcomed you. you searched for the door and when you finally found it, you could see it clearer, more vivid, your palms pressed harder against his. the chaos behind the door was more real now, louder. every lesson your parents taught you screamed to stop, but you reached for the doorknob anyways.
the darkness behind the door burst forward and clashed into you. screams of pain echoed in your ears as the first image sharpened. you saw claws tearing through tress, blood soaking the ground.
another vision slammed into you. eyes staring from a monstrous face, jaws snapping, bones cracking and a body left discarded like a prey. and you saw him. tyler. his bones twisting, skin tearing until the monster emerged where he stood. the hyde.
you tried to pull away, but the vision wouldn't let you go.
this time tyler wasn't the monster. he was himself. his face pale, his body shaking, chains holding his wrists, begging for release from someone you couldn't see.
you opened your eyes, breathless. you pulled your hands from his like you just had touched fire. tyler's smile faded, his eyes narrowing.
—you shouldn't have seen that.
—you're the hyde, —you mumbled, more to yourself.
—i can't control it.
—oh my god, —your breath caught in your throat, —you're the hyde, —you repeated.
tyler watched you, his jaw tightening. for the first time since you met him, you weren't sure if the boy sitting in front of you was the same one you'd let yourself fall for. that door inside his mind wasn't just a wall of a memory of trauma like your dads had taught you to respect. it was something else entirely, it belonged to the hyde.
you pushed yourself from the chair. tyler's eyes followed you, but he didn't move to stop you. you couldn't stand the weight of his stare, not after what you'd just seen. you walked out of the weathervane, the bell above the door jiggling far too cheerfully for the way your chest was hurting.
this past days without tyler had been hard, boring. you liked going to the weathervane but you'd been actively avoiding it, even just the smell of coffee and cinnamon made you stop on your feet. at night you replayed the visions. the hyde tearing through trees, the blood, the brutality of it. but then you remembered tyler, chained and begging. it was easier to remember that version of him, the one who was suffering and needed someone to see him beyond the monster.
enid asked you if you were okay and you always said yes, but the truth was that everything felt off without him. you didn't realize how much of your routine had become tied to tyler until he wasn't in it anymore. wednesday, of course, saw straight through you. she arched her eyebrows and said that if you really were fine, then surely you wouldn't mind joining them at the weathervane that same night.
and that's how you ended up sitting across from him.
—okay, what happens between you two? —enid asked, her eyes moving between you and tyler.
it was almost closing time so the weathervane was empty except for the four of you. tyler always waited for you at this hour when you hadn't managed to see each other during the day, a little ritual so you could all catch up.
but tonight you hadn't said a single word and tyler, usually matching enid's joy, only spoke when it was to answer one of enid's questions with short replies. wednesday noticed immediately, but enid had needed a little longer and now she was trying to figure out what she'd missed.
—enid let's go, —wednesday pushed herself from the chair.
enid blinked, —huh? now?
you moved to stand, ready to grab your bag, but wednesday's hand pressed firmly against your shoulder.
—you're not coming with us.
—what?
—you two have been silence all night. pathetic, if you asked me. i assume it has something to do with you being head over heels for each other. fix it. now. or stop wasting everyone's time.
enid's jaw dropped, —wednesday! —but wednesday was already heading to the door, not waiting for your reaction or tyler's. enid chewed her lip nervously, —um... good luck? —she whispered before hurrying after wednesday.
now it was just you and tyler. alone. you and the hyde.
his fingers tapped against the table before he leaned back in his chair, his eyes focused on the table. you pressed your fists at both sides of your body. finally, tyler exhaled, breaking the silence.
—you're scared of me, —he wasn't even asking, —i can see it. you don't even have to say it.
you shook your head, more to yourself than to him. you weren't scared, you didn't feel safe, it was hearing that sweet and soft voice of his again, talking to you.
—i didn't want you to find out like this. i wanted... god, i don't know what i wanted. with you, something in my life wasn't about the hyde.
your fists trembled at your sides.
—i know you haven't told anything. they would've come looking for me if you had.
you shook your head again, not denying it, but not wanting to give him the satisfaction of hearing it out loud. you grabbed your coat from the chair and walked to the door. but before you could reach it, tyler stood, faster than you expected, and his hand close around your arm.
—let me explain, please.
you yanked against his grip but he didn't let go. tyler was stronger than you'd ever realized.
—explain what? does going on killing sprees needs any explanation?
tyler's jaw clenched with shame and anger as he let go off your arm.
—i can't control it, okay? do you think i wanna turn in to that? —there was disgust in his voice. —i try. i do everything i can. chains, meds, whatever i can find. i lock myself up. i leave town. but it doesn't listen. she doesn't let it listen.
she must be the person you saw in the vision, the one who stood before tyler while he was chained and his eyes were wide with terror.
for a long second you only stared at him.
—why haven't you said anything?
you shook your head again, closing your eyes. you'd asked yourself that question a million times over the past few days. why?
—i'm tied to you, —you looked into his caramel eyes, for the first time since you discovered the monster inside him. —it's... a psychic thing. i can't see anything when i get into your mind. nothing. it's like... like something's blocking me. that door i crossed... it wasn't your memory. it was the hyde's. i can read everyone, tyler. but i can't read you.
tyler quickly understood what that something was referring to and it quickly clicked with how wednesday left saying that you needed to fix this situation because the two of you were clearly head over heels for each other.
—i like you. i, —you paused. the words felt too big and too small at once because like wasn't quiet the right term. —i care about you. more than makes sense right now, and i don't want to pretend that seeing the hyde changes that, but i don't want to act like everything's normal.
his eyes shone in that way only tyler's could.
—if you want me to run, tell me, —you added, —i'll go. i'll do what i can to keep myself safe. but if you want someone who's not running... i won't.
—i don't want you to run, —he said almost involuntarily, it came out from the deepest part of him.
you nodded slowly, your chest tightening. gosh, what were you even thinking? covering the hyde when all the town is going crazy looking for him and yet you couldn't turn on him. not tyler. not the boy who had your heart even when the monster inside him.
—i like you too. a lot, —regret and shame took over his expression after the confession, — i'm sorry, i shouldn't... but i didn't want you to leave tonight thinking i don't feel the same way about you.
you felt your cheeks heat up. this is probably the worst confession of all times, you thought, but you couldn't it and let your eyes move from his to his lips, tracing the curve of his mouth like you'd done a thousand times. and then you noticed. he was doing the exact same thing. neither of you spoke, but both of you moved closer at the same time.
your lips met in a soft kiss, tentative at first, as if you were both afraid of breaking this new bod you had created. tyler's hands moved to your waist as yours pushed the back of his head to bring him closer to you and he leaned into you without hesitation. his lips were sweet, nothing compared to the monster you saw in his head, nothing but your tyler.
when you finally pulled back, tyler let his forehead rest against your, breaths mixing, your hand still tangled in the curls at the back of his head. tyler let out a sigh of relief against your lips, as if with you knowing he could finally breath.
and you, you couldn't stop your mind from racing. how could you help tyler? maybe you could use your powers for good. hypnosis could work. you could even try reaching him when he was in the hyde form.
or you could always kill that woman that was controlling him.
