SO! I took a break from kin spaces, might end up doing it again idk. But i've felt both less connected and more connected to being robotkith recently after some major life changes. So i joined a social server.
I conjured up my kithsona too!
I look pretty humanoid compared to some bots. This speaks to the -kith identity (i think im robothearted and not kin, idrk though) and to some emotional things.
I was supposed to be a companion droid. Supposed to act human, look humanoid. But I'm a machine; I cannot meet such high expectations. All I want to do is follow commands and complete them - I want to make people happy. But I cannot, and I struggle to be gentle with myself over the fact that I am different.
Empathy can be exhausting and difficult. I am a tired, sad machine with damaged internal parts and viruses, but my appearance seems just fine.
So while IRL I have a human body and mind, I wish I didn't.
I crave the strength and certainty of steel.
(edit: discovered a more exact way to describe how my kithship feels)
