Evenstar of Casterly Rock

Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth fanfics and art. The dirtier the better.

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

evenstarofcasterlyrock‌:

Brienne heard him. Perfectly. Yet she couldn’t fathom a response. Not when he was just four paces away and shaking a fresh shirt from the dryer. Bare-chested. Fragrant. She sniffed, clutching at the flyers. He smelled of crisp soap and that secret note that identified him as male and Jaime.

The crumpling sound of paper drew her attention to the pile in her hands. Clearing her throat, she stammered, “Ah, there’s…now I have a hankering for Chinese. Spring rolls, szechuan beef, fried noodles…”

What she said must have been clear and made lot of sense, she thought a short while later. They were in the truck now, driving through the night and the cool air whipping their hair and cheeks. The windows were rolled down. She smelled the trees and mud but it was Jaime’s scent that filled the truck.

They pulled up in the parking lot of the restaurant. Expecting to just trail after Jaime, she was surprised and took pleasure when he went around to open the door for her and pulled her close. She bent her head to smell his neck.

Nobody who looked as good as he did should smell as good. She stepped away, taking his hand. Together they went into the restaurant.

They left with five bags of food. Besides her choices, Jaime had also ordered pork and vegetable dishes, extra spring rolls, noodle soup. They stashed the bags in the backseat, except for the one that contained the soup and all the sauces. These Brienne kept balanced between her thighs, slightly squeezing around them as Jaime once again barreled through the dirt roads leading home.

Her stomach was rumbling by the time they pulled up in front of the house. The three dogs barked and danced around the truck until it came to a full stop.

She turned to Jaime, heart racing yet also softening at the sight of his elegant profile bathed in the silver light of the moon and stars.

“Jaime, I–”

Actions were better. She put a hand on his knee and leaned to kiss him. She just needed to kiss him. A gentle kiss of love.

But her body knew better. She climbed over his lap.

Gods, she was something divine. Something heavens-sent, something sweet and pure and his, though all the gods knew he didn’t deserve her.

He clutched her against him, pulling her across his lap and wrapping her tight in his arms. There was barely enough room between the seat and the wheel - Jaime groped blindly for the lever between his legs and shoved the seat back as far as it would go.

He shoved his hand up her jumper and squeezed her breasts one at a time as they kissed. Then he slid it down the back of her jeans to cup that nice round arse of hers too.

“Are you still sore?” he panted against her neck. Because his cock was hot and hard and almost painful in his jeans. Where a sex drive of this magnitude had come from, Jaime didn’t know.

Two years of cheerless masturbation with only soulless pornography and a plastic vagina really hadn’t prepared him for the reality of Brienne.

He kissed her neck softly while he waited for her reply, his left hand everywhere he could get it, missing his right more than he could possibly express right now.

“How about we eat?” he whispered. “Before all this food gets cold and then you treat me to some nameday sex … or if you’re too sore or tired then maybe I should volunteer to be the nameday throne?”

“You’re the Queen, of course,” he added with a raised eyebrow. 

[evenstarofcasterlyrock]

Trembling and hot from his calloused hand roaming her bared breasts and ass, she panted against his mouth, wanting a kiss and his cock and everything and more than she could name. They should eat. She knew that. But the gnawing, impossible, relentless hunger for Jaime was just too much. Too much.

"Please," she sounded as if in pain. Cupping his face in her hands, she pleaded, "Fuck me first. Please, Jaime. Please please please."

She didn't wait for him to agree. She sat up to unlock the door, found her footing on the ground and swung her other leg off him. She pulled him out of the truck by collar and hand before undoing her jeans. She was burning. Her skin felt too hot. She wanted to scream and beg. She yanked at her top.

Her boots went flying and so did her jeans. When she turned to Jaime, she glimpsed only the dark light of lust and longing in his eyes, felt only the contours of his chest under his sweater, his hand and the scars of his stump on the sides of her thighs. She pushed him on the ground, climbed on top and unzipped his jeans.

As the wind rustled the leaves of the trees and owls hooted unseen in the dark of night, they made their own music. His groans throaty and desperate while she suckled his cock loudly, without grace. Her saliva dripped and plopped.

It was pure bliss, beyond all known heavens, once he was inside her and hard, pushing and growing longer everytime she squeezed around him. She arched in response to his hand and stump on her breasts, one squeezing the small mound and pulling harshly at a nipple while the other was covered in scarred caresses. She blushed hearing the squish and squeak of their joined bodies, and when she dared to look at him, she rode him faster.

"Jaime," she whispered, pausing the rough, furious oscillating of her hips to take his mouth. She moaned through their kiss, rubbing her face enthusiastically against his beard.

Then she pulled away, resuming their frantic fuck. How she wanted him inside her. For always.

"I love you, Jaime," she gasped. "I love you so much."

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

evenstarofcasterlyrock‌:

A smile Brienne couldn’t suppress lit up her face. She was blushing-from the anticipation of delicious greasy Chinese food in her mouth and her in Jaime’s mouth. Or was it his mouth in her?

“As it is, I don’t have anything decent enough for a night out but will work perfectly well for takeout,” she said, putting her arms on his shoulders. She should be grossed out by the look and smell of him–his hair and beard were greasy and he smelled of blood. Yet her body kept inching closer and closer to the point that she wanted to curse the first person to wear clothes.

“I would love some fiery beef,” she whispered, putting her lips close to his ear. By the mother, she thought, feeling her nipples harden. Was there no end to wanting Jaime?

“Fiery beef,” she gasped, holding him fast. “Sweet and sour pork. Hmm. And one of those fluffy white buns with all that delicious meat?”

She should move away or they were never going to eat tonight. Not food, anyway. Trembling, she forced herself out of his arms, staggering. Too late did she realize how unsteady she was. Yelping, her ass smacked into the edge of the dining table.

“Ow! Motherfucking God!”

He grabbed her arm to steady her, and then pulled her back into his arms for another kiss, slowly rubbing the sore spot on her arse that she’d just smacked into the table.

“You’d best not let go again,” Jaime smirked. “Far too dangerous for both of us not to be in each other’s arms, I’d say.”

True to his word, he took her with him as he went to the dresser, rummaging through a drawer piled high with assorted crap - bills he was ignoring, junk he should throw out. Menus for when he couldn’t face another day of his own cooking. 

There were quite a few. 

He pulled them out and passed them to her. 

“Choose whatever you want,” he told her. “I’ll eat anything, so just get double portions. I’m going to shower the abbatoir smell off me and then we can go and pick it up.”

He took his shower as quickly as he could, actually using some of the shower gel they had bought instead of dish soap for a change. He had to admit it smelled much nicer and left his skin feeling a lot better, too. 

Maybe it was time to start caring about things like that.

He pulled on a clean pair of jeans, but couldn’t find a jumper or shirt so he went downstairs bare-chested, the water still beading in the smattering of chest hair he had between his nipples. He squeezed the water out of his hair with a towel.

It felt good to feel attractive again, he had to admit. To know that someone looked at him with admiring eyes, to know that he turned her on as she did him. There was something intoxicating about it.

“Did you find anything you like?” he asked as he pulled a shirt out of the dryer.

[evenstarofcasterlyrock]

Brienne heard him. Perfectly. Yet she couldn't fathom a response. Not when he was just four paces away and shaking a fresh shirt from the dryer. Bare-chested. Fragrant. She sniffed, clutching at the flyers. He smelled of crisp soap and that secret note that identified him as male and Jaime.

The crumpling sound of paper drew her attention to the pile in her hands. Clearing her throat, she stammered, "Ah, there's. . .now I have a hankering for Chinese. Spring rolls, szechuan beef, fried noodles. . ."

What she said must have been clear and made lot of sense, she thought a short while later. They were in the truck now, driving through the night and the cool air whipping their hair and cheeks. The windows were rolled down. She smelled the trees and mud but it was Jaime's scent that filled the truck.

They pulled up in the parking lot of the restaurant. Expecting to just trail after Jaime, she was surprised and took pleasure when he went around to open the door for her and pulled her close. She bent her head to smell his neck.

Nobody who looked as good as he did should smell as good. She stepped away, taking his hand. Together they went into the restaurant.

They left with five bags of food. Besides her choices, Jaime had also ordered pork and vegetable dishes, extra spring rolls, noodle soup. They stashed the bags in the backseat, except for the one that contained the soup and all the sauces. These Brienne kept balanced between her thighs, slightly squeezing around them as Jaime once again barreled through the dirt roads leading home.

Her stomach was rumbling by the time they pulled up in front of the house. The three dogs barked and danced around the truck until it came to a full stop.

She turned to Jaime, heart racing yet also softening at the sight of his elegant profile bathed in the silver light of the moon and stars.

"Jaime, I--"

Actions were better. She put a hand on his knee and leaned to kiss him. She just needed to kiss him. A gentle kiss of love.

But her body knew better. She climbed over his lap.

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

evenstarofcasterlyrock‌:

Brienne could never thank the gods enough for Jaime letting her off the bloody sausage party (she couldn’t bring herself to think of what the pigs were doing now). So while he was gone, she got ready for his nameday celebration.

Back in the city, she would have gone in the bath, immersed herself in fragrant bubbles and fruity shampoo. Something tropical or citrusy-never floral because she found them too sweet and cloying. After the bath, she would rub body cream, spray perfume on pulse points. Lingerie. A designer dress.

Since she’d packed in haste, her wardrobe options were limited. There was turquoise dress with thin straps and a sleek silhouette. The style and cloth indicated ot was better suited for day but the nowhere she’d holed up in didn’t seem to have anyone that flipped through a fashion magazine.

There was no nice lingerie, just three pairs of plain cotton panties. Not even sheer, black nylons. Or sexy kitten heels.

The only other pair of shoes she’d brought, aside from the stilettos ruined from the day Jaime found her, were sneakers. White sneakers.

A dress and sneakers were weird. Though Jaime had yet to directly say anything, the town was not scene. He only went there when he absolutely must. He wasn’t fan of interaction, being friendly. Didn’t like being talked about.

And him showing up with some weird, all chick in an odd dress and sneakers would send tongues wagging.

Perhaps going out was a mistake.

Sighing, Brienne put the suitcase away. A night out would have been nice but if Jaime was going to be uncomfortable.

She got dressed in a clean sweater, tee and jeans. She tidied up in the bedroom again, then the bathroom.

She didn’t realize how long Jaime was gone until she glanced at the clock. He’d been gone over three hours!

She frowned, looking out the window for his truck. The three dogs continued to run about in the yard

Brienne turned away from the window and resumed polishing an end table.

She was putting away the rags and organizing the cluttered living room when she heard the familiar cough and grind of the truck. Grinning, she looked out the window again.

“Jaime.”

She didn’t wait for him to stop and walk up the front door. She ran out, nearly tripping over the tipping dogs. Gods, she was so happy to have him back.

“Jaime!”

She didn’t wait for him to be fully out of the truck. Laughing, joyous beyond compare, she pulled him out and wrapped her arms around him. It didn’t matter that he smelled a little of blood. He was back.

Jaime wrapped his arms around her and leaned up to kiss her even as he stumbled out of his truck. The dogs ran excitable circles around their feet, not least because Jaime had been in the slaughterhouse and smelled like fresh meat.

“I take it you missed me?” he grinned at Brienne. He pulled her down to his mouth for another kiss - not at all the sort of kiss they should be indulging in on the driveway; it was all tongue and hands everywhere.

“You look nice,” he told her when they came up for air. “Have you decided what you want to do tonight?”

“I know I’m a bit later than I thought, but we could still eat out.”

A smile danced on his lips and he looked her up and down, sticking his jaw out and then biting his lower lip. 

“Or we could stay in and I could eat you out.”

He locked the truck and they walked inside together, arms around each other. Through the lobby where they had sex on the floor, into the living room where they had sex on the couch and past where they slept on the mattress and had sex there. Into the kitchen where they’d had sex for the first time. Jaime was starting to wonder where they could possibly do it next. 

“We could combine the two?” he suggested as he put his keys down and washed his hand.

“Go into town and pick up some Chinese food, then back here for all the eating? I’d get it delivered but that’s the problem living in the middle of nowhere - no one will come out here.”

[evenstarofcasterlyrock]

A smile Brienne couldn't suppress lit up her face. She was blushing-from the anticipation of delicious greasy Chinese food in her mouth and her in Jaime's mouth. Or was it his mouth in her?

"As it is, I don't have anything decent enough for a night out but will work perfectly well for takeout," she said, putting her arms on his shoulders. She should be grossed out by the look and smell of him--his hair and beard were greasy and he smelled of blood. Yet her body kept inching closer and closer to the point that she wanted to curse the first person to wear clothes.

"I would love some fiery beef," she whispered, putting her lips close to his ear. By the mother, she thought, feeling her nipples harden. Was there no end to wanting Jaime?

"Fiery beef," she gasped, holding him fast. "Sweet and sour pork. Hmm. And one of those fluffy white buns with all that delicious meat?"

She should move away or they were never going to eat tonight. Not food, anyway. Trembling, she forced herself out of his arms, staggering. Too late did she realize how unsteady she was. Yelping, her ass smacked into the edge of the dining table.

"Ow! Motherfucking God!"

[evenstarofcasterlyrock]

Me when you're taking too fucking long getting lasagna. OTHER PEOPLE ARE STARVING, you greedy fuck.

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

evenstarofcasterlyrock‌:

He looked so enthusiastic and just unfairly cute asking her help for the sausages. Brienne struggled to keep a brave face as she wove her fingers through his. He had an artist’s fingers, long and elegant. The callouses did little to affect the beauty of his hands. The roughness of his palms made her tingle, sending a flutter in her cunt.

“Er, when you say sausages that means the meat has already gone through the grinder? And they’re to go in the stomach lining wrapper?”

She loved that he was pretty much self-sustaining, able to do twice the amount of work in a day despite the lack of a hand. He was more hard-working and active than anyone with complete matching sets. She also found his toughness sexy. A lot sexier than she should. But the slaughter and now the sausage thing-definite hard passes.

She also couldn’t imagine raising a creature from infancy to adult, feeding it, fattening it up for slaughter. She was no vegetarian and had never advocated for animal rights. To regard a living creature merely as your next food source while stroking it was cold.

But what did she know? She was raised differently. Had their positions been changed, she wouldn’t think twice about taking her pigs to the butcher. She could whack the head off a chicken without another thought.

“I don’t know if I can do it, Jaime. But it’s your nameday and you should get what you want. So I’ll try. Just don’t hate me if I retch or can’t eat a sausage or bacon for a couple of days?” Biting her lip, she added huskily, “You can have anything and everything from me, Jaime. It’s nice to see you happy and I want you to feel that often. You should.”

“Are you kidding?” he asked. “You can’t even handle making a sausage?”

He laughed at her. Cupped her cheek in his palm. 

“Don’t worry,” he teased. “Leave the sausages to me. Maybe you can make a quinoa salad or something? Unless you can’t stand the sight of lettuce juice?”

It was a shame, making sausages was difficult as all the hells with only the one hand. He’d adapted his machine to help and he’d gotten used to doing it, but it would have been an awful lot easier with someone to help. 

“How about holding the doors on the truck open for me while I get the pigs inside? Do you think you can handle that? I promise, if one of them barges into you, you’ll be wishing you were doing the slaughtering yourself!”

“When I get back, how about we do something a little fun for my nameday? I … I haven’t celebrated it in years.”

He looked at the floor, his face a mixture of sadness and guilt. How could he have celebrated his nameday without trying to forget that it was Cersei’s too? Without remembering that they should be together as they always had been.

“I could buy cake,” he suggested, forcing a smile. “Maybe we could watch a movie, have a drink together?”

“Or … or maybe we should go out? There’s a restaurant in the village, a nice one. They have a little terrace that they open up on summer evenings. They have a band, too. We could get dressed up, have a little dinner, then slowdance and smooch until they kick us out?”

[evenstarofcasterlyrock]

Brienne could never thank the gods enough for Jaime letting her off the bloody sausage party (she couldn't bring herself to think of what the pigs were doing now). So while he was gone, she got ready for his nameday celebration.

Back in the city, she would have gone in the bath, immersed herself in fragrant bubbles and fruity shampoo. Something tropical or citrusy-never floral because she found them too sweet and cloying. After the bath, she would rub body cream, spray perfume on pulse points. Lingerie. A designer dress.

Since she'd packed in haste, her wardrobe options were limited. There was turquoise dress with thin straps and a sleek silhouette. The style and cloth indicated ot was better suited for day but the nowhere she'd holed up in didn't seem to have anyone that flipped through a fashion magazine.

There was no nice lingerie, just three pairs of plain cotton panties. Not even sheer, black nylons. Or sexy kitten heels.

The only other pair of shoes she'd brought, aside from the stilettos ruined from the day Jaime found her, were sneakers. White sneakers.

A dress and sneakers were weird. Though Jaime had yet to directly say anything, the town was not scene. He only went there when he absolutely must. He wasn't fan of interaction, being friendly. Didn't like being talked about.

And him showing up with some weird, all chick in an odd dress and sneakers would send tongues wagging.

Perhaps going out was a mistake.

Sighing, Brienne put the suitcase away. A night out would have been nice but if Jaime was going to be uncomfortable.

She got dressed in a clean sweater, tee and jeans. She tidied up in the bedroom again, then the bathroom.

She didn't realize how long Jaime was gone until she glanced at the clock. He'd been gone over three hours!

She frowned, looking out the window for his truck. The three dogs continued to run about in the yard

Brienne turned away from the window and resumed polishing an end table.

She was putting away the rags and organizing the cluttered living room when she heard the familiar cough and grind of the truck. Grinning, she looked out the window again.

"Jaime."

She didn't wait for him to stop and walk up the front door. She ran out, nearly tripping over the tipping dogs. Gods, she was so happy to have him back.

"Jaime!"

She didn't wait for him to be fully out of the truck. Laughing, joyous beyond compare, she pulled him out and wrapped her arms around him. It didn't matter that he smelled a little of blood. He was back.

[linggluu]

pretty bby

[catherineflowers29]

Chapter 9 is up on AO3 now: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21717478/chapters/54007681

[evenstarofcasterlyrock]

*gets under the blanket to read*

You're missing out a lot if you're skipping this. Don't fucking skip this!

[evenstarofcasterlyrock]

What's implausible to me is if they never banged. That jawline? Those legs?

[evenstarofcasterlyrock]

BFF means best FUCKING friends. Period.

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

evenstarofcasterlyrock‌:

Sagging from relief, Brienne didn’t catch on immediately what he said until she was about to kiss him.

“It’s your nameday too? You share a nameday with Cersei?”

It wasn’t unusual. She found it cute but only if the person you shared it with was alive. Her hands went to his face, thumbs stroking his thick beard. She peered into his eyes but they were downcast.

“Oh, Jaime. I’m so sorry.” How horrible. The one day in the year he could be happy, when he could really give it a shot, was hampered by the memory of his dead wife. She bent her knees, trying to get him to look at her.

“It’s alright to be sad but it’s your birthday too. You’ve done so beautifully the last few days. It might be a lot but if you could try…I’ll help, Jaime.”

She folded him in her arms this time, kissing him hard on the cheek while rubbing his back. Her poor love.

“I really…I want to help but I really can’t…with the animal slaughter. But maybe you don’t have to find a new place to do it? I can only imagine how hard it is with one hand. But if there’s no other place and the only option really is to do it yourself…”

She held him tighter, not sure if it was him she was trying to reassure her herself.

“I mean, I’ll try, Jaime. I would. I can’t but I’ll find it in me to help with the slaughter. Just–just don’t hate me if I puke or embarrass myself. Please?”

Gods, Cersei must have helped him. What a woman she was. Pretty and gutsy too, she thought, recalling the photo. At the latter word, she felt her stomach flip.

They weren’t even doing anything remotely close to murder and she could already feel last night’s dinner about to end up on the floor. So she pressed her nose on Jaime’s shoulder. Dishwashing liquid and sweat had never smelled so wonderful.

“I love you, Jaime. There’s nothing I won’t do for you. I’m scared about the pig but as long as you won’t hate me for being a wuss, I’m in.”

She set herself away, looking at him. “And-and if you want to do…the fantasy bit I said…only when you’re feeling better, of course. What I’m trying to say is I’m game for that too.”

Jaime visibly panicked - he’d lost track of what he’d told Brienne already and they were only three days into this relationship. That could have been disastrous.

“Yeah,” he said with a swallow. “We shared a birthday. Same year too and same hospital - we always said we were fated to be together, you know? It was all so perfect.”

He left out that they also had the same parents, of course. That wouldn’t seem quite so romantic to an outsider.

He took hold of her big hand and squeezed it. 

“I was kidding about the pigs,” he told her. “Animal slaughter isn’t something you can do just like that. I don’t even have the equipment here any more and you’d have to take classes to learn how to do it humanely. They have to be stunned first and bled properly too.”

“I’ll still take them down to Bronn, don’t worry. I can take a bit of ribbing about my plastic vagina.”

“He does all the butchery then too. I take the girls down there, get them slaughtered and then we go back in a few days and pick up all the cuts. Sawing up a pig carcass is another thing that’s damn tricky with one hand.”

“I can make sausages though! Do you think you’d like to help with that?”

[evenstarofcasterlyrock]

He looked so enthusiastic and just unfairly cute asking her help for the sausages. Brienne struggled to keep a brave face as she wove her fingers through his. He had an artist's fingers, long and elegant. The callouses did little to affect the beauty of his hands. The roughness of his palms made her tingle, sending a flutter in her cunt.

"Er, when you say sausages that means the meat has already gone through the grinder? And they're to go in the stomach lining wrapper?"

She loved that he was pretty much self-sustaining, able to do twice the amount of work in a day despite the lack of a hand. He was more hard-working and active than anyone with complete matching sets. She also found his toughness sexy. A lot sexier than she should. But the slaughter and now the sausage thing-definite hard passes.

She also couldn't imagine raising a creature from infancy to adult, feeding it, fattening it up for slaughter. She was no vegetarian and had never advocated for animal rights. To regard a living creature merely as your next food source while stroking it was cold.

But what did she know? She was raised differently. Had their positions been changed, she wouldn't think twice about taking her pigs to the butcher. She could whack the head off a chicken without another thought.

"I don't know if I can do it, Jaime. But it's your nameday and you should get what you want. So I'll try. Just don't hate me if I retch or can't eat a sausage or bacon for a couple of days?" Biting her lip, she added huskily, "You can have anything and everything from me, Jaime. It's nice to see you happy and I want you to feel that often. You should."

[dunderklumpen]

nikolaj coster-waldau for flaunt

[evenstarofcasterlyrock]

Me after someone reported my Tumblr RPF for inappropriate content or whatever shit (photo didn't have visible lady parts like scary boobs, menacing vag or whatever, text was all about very enthusiastic consent to hot sex):

Me after Insta said that an account I reported showing dubious consent to sex and questionable images promoting violence on women doesn't violate community standards:

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

“I hope you’ll make mistakes. If you’re making mistakes, it means you’re out there doing something.” - Neil Gaiman, Make Good Art

[kuutamosonaatti]

Sämpycat in snow

[a-maimed-man-and-bitter]

evenstarofcasterlyrock‌:

Jaime was on the phone.

HE WAS ON THE PHONE!

Brienne backed into a console table, jumping when the ceramic odds and ends and other doodads poked right in the ass. They crashed to the floor. A sharp squawk she hoped didn’t come from her came out of nowhere.

Shaking, red and humiliated beyond belief, she pointed a shaking finger at the phone. “Who-who-did the person-did they hear?”

She was never going to live this down. No. Now would be a good time for the earth to swallow her whole. Bury her deep. Fucking idiot rambling on and on about her toys when Jaime was talking to someone on the phone!

Three long strides took her to the couch. The couch still draped with a rough, worn blanket stiff from their juices and smelling of sex. She buried her face in her hands.

All she wanted was to assure Jaime she wasn’t bothered about the fleshlight. The Seven knew many a night she fucked herself with a dildo when Renly wasn’t home. Sometimes, as he slept, she snuck to the bathroom and got off on the little vibrator stashed there. That was all she wanted Jaime to know–it was normal and getting off with toys was perfectly alright.

She didn’t have to go into detail about what she did! Gods, the things she’d said. The things she’d said! Textures she liked. How much she enjoyed his cock. Wanting him to order and watch her!

Whoever Jaime had been talking to most think he had hired some whore! Brienne wanted to cry. She wasn’t ashamed about the things she did. But they weren’t for anyone else to know!

“So fucking stupid,” she muttered. “I should have known. Why didn’t I-I should have noticed you talking on the phone.”

Sighing, she looked up. Jaime had yet to speak. The fall and rise of his shoulders was proof he was breathing. Good. At least one of them was.

“Jaime, I’m so sorry. I’m more sorry than you’ll know. I didn’t mean to embarrass you like that.”

Jaime just gaped at her - he hadn’t yet recovered the power of speech. Part of him wanted to curl into a ball and die of embarrassment; the other half wanted to laugh hysterically.

“It was Bronn,” he said eventually. “From - from the slaughterhouse. I - I was going to take the pigs …?”

He let out a long, slow breath. Offered her a sheepish grin. 

“Well, I guess he knows I use a fleshlight and you like a dildo. And that you want me to watch you.”

A giggle burst from his throat, unbidden.

“I’m going to have to go to another slaughterhouse, aren’t I. Or start doing it myself.”

“Killing a 500lb pig is not easy with one hand, let me tell you.”

He did laugh then, so hard his shoulders shook. So hard he had tears in his eyes.

He held out his hand to her. “Come here. It’s okay.”

He folded her in his arms and hugged her. “It’s just sex toys - just masturbation. You’re right, we shouldn’t be embarrassed - everyone does it, right? I’m sure Bronn’s into butt plugs and bondage and all sorts of weird shit, he’s an odd guy.”

He pulled her down to his mouth for a kiss, finding the bright blush on her face absolutely adorable. 

“I didn’t think I’d ever have another relationship,” he confessed. “I didn’t think I wanted one. And … my left hand is just not as good as my right was. So … fleshlight and porn … that’s pretty much the only sex life I thought I’d ever have again.”

“I know that’s kind of pathetic. I’ve been a pathetic kind of guy.”

“But I want you to know - in all the porn I’ve seen, every crazy kind of fantasy I’ve had with just me and my fleshlight … none of it came close to you.”

He pressed his lips hard against hers, kissed her deeply.

He laughed. “Gods, I wasn’t expecting this on my nameday!”

[evenstarofcasterlyrock]

Sagging from relief, Brienne didn't catch on immediately what he said until she was about to kiss him.

"It's your nameday too? You share a nameday with Cersei?"

It wasn't unusual. She found it cute but only if the person you shared it with was alive. Her hands went to his face, thumbs stroking his thick beard. She peered into his eyes but they were downcast.

"Oh, Jaime. I'm so sorry." How horrible. The one day in the year he could be happy, when he could really give it a shot, was hampered by the memory of his dead wife. She bent her knees, trying to get him to look at her.

"It's alright to be sad but it's your birthday too. You've done so beautifully the last few days. It might be a lot but if you could try. . .I'll help, Jaime."

She folded him in her arms this time, kissing him hard on the cheek while rubbing his back. Her poor love.

"I really. . .I want to help but I really can't. . .with the animal slaughter. But maybe you don't have to find a new place to do it? I can only imagine how hard it is with one hand. But if there's no other place and the only option really is to do it yourself. . ."

She held him tighter, not sure if it was him she was trying to reassure her herself.

"I mean, I'll try, Jaime. I would. I can't but I'll find it in me to help with the slaughter. Just--just don't hate me if I puke or embarrass myself. Please?"

Gods, Cersei must have helped him. What a woman she was. Pretty and gutsy too, she thought, recalling the photo. At the latter word, she felt her stomach flip.

They weren't even doing anything remotely close to murder and she could already feel last night's dinner about to end up on the floor. So she pressed her nose on Jaime's shoulder. Dishwashing liquid and sweat had never smelled so wonderful.

"I love you, Jaime. There's nothing I won't do for you. I'm scared about the pig but as long as you won't hate me for being a wuss, I'm in."

She set herself away, looking at him. "And-and if you want to do. . .the fantasy bit I said. . .only when you're feeling better, of course. What I'm trying to say is I'm game for that too."

[spare-mee]

Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff

[justshannary]

My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk. 

[thecornercoffeeshoppe]

My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2

[love-affair-with-fandoms]

My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits. 

Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life.

This could SAVE a life.

dont be embarrassed to reblog, this post could be life saving

[trumpetnista]

Signal BOOST and pass it on. I had a breast cancer scare before (luckily it was just scar tissue…) and information like this kept me calm and collected at the doc’s.

[xsorrowxlightx]

As a cancer patient myself, who found my own cancer through a supposed LARPing injury last year, i know how scary it is and how important it is to catch it early. Please spread this around!

[the-gladdest-thing]

listen to ur boobs

[yungsadprincexx]

its all in the boobs

[letsdeadlyfart-deactivated20140]

hoW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO REBLOG THIS ! SORRY FOLLOWERS , #sorrynotsorry

[seraj-ade]

Always reblog! 

[purpleguavas-deactivated2014030]

REBLOG,THIS COULD SAVE SOMEBODY!!! DONT BE EMBARRASSED!!!

B

[ayamccabre]

Reminder that anyone who grew their own breast tissue can get breast cancer. That includes trans women, intersex peeps, and cis men who may not have been aware there could be some breast tissue in there. The only way to be sure you don’t have any at all is if you’ve had it all removed. If you’ve had tissue removed for reasons other than cancer, they likely didn’t remove all of it. If you find something weird, regardless of who you are or how you identify, get it checked out.

[lgbtqkidsrock]

All of you should reblog this. Breast cancer affects everyone and there’s not enough information about it.

[swanqueenisendgameyo]

Richard Roundtree, the actor who played Shaft, had breast cancer. He found a lump under his nipple while in the shower. Everyone should do self exams.

http://www.imaginis.com/breast-health-news/shaft-has-breast-cancer-men-can-develop-the-disease-too-dateline-november-9-2000

[dried-piece-of-celery]

Heard it here folks:listen to your boobs

[neurodivergent-crow]

Trans men and transmasculine folks, sorry, you aren’t exempt from this. Even if you’ve had top surgery. There’s still some breast tissue left, just like in cis men.

CHECK YOURSELVES. ALL GENDERS.

[meriwynlee]

I swear, @fawnilu just gets better and better!! Here’s the next installment of “The Sapphire Wench”! Love you Fawn!! 😘