Dear _______,
You’ll never get this. I’m writing this letter for me, not for you, because if I was writing it for you, I would be wasting my time. You don’t really care, we both know that, so telling you all this stuff for your sake is like telling it to a brick wall.
I like you. A lot. But I can’t do it anymore. I have liked you for so long now, and honestly, I wish I had never met you. I never knew I could have these feelings for someone, and I wish I had waited to realize them with the right person, but wishing isn’t an option now. What’s done is done and everything in the past is gone for a reason. A reason that I don’t understand, but I’m going to try to accept it all the same. I don’t like feeling like this, every time I see you, all of the memories that you’ve forgotten and all of the things I never said go through my head. I don’t want to feel those regrets anymore. “If only I had flirted more” “If only I had found out that you liked me sooner.” “If only I hadn’t been so clueless” I’m sick of “if only”s! I want to look at you in the hall, and see just another guy. Someone I have no feelings for and no memories with. I don’t want to know you anymore.
Someday, your going to realize that it was you who missed out, you who should have all of those regrets, not me. You had your chance, and while you “weren’t ready for a girlfriend” I was patiently waiting for when you were ready. Well, I’m not waiting anymore. Every day its getting easier and easier to look at you and every day, I’m thinking about you less and less. If you ever like me again, you’ll be too late. I keep telling myself that I’m not going to settle for “just anyone”, it used to be that when I thought of the perfect boyfriend, I imagined you, but pretty soon, you will be that “just anyone”. I refuse to settle for someone who doesn’t care about me. That someone is you.
So when you see me in the halls and try to avoid my looks, I hope you get that little jolt in your heart, the one that reminds you of how you used to feel about me. And I hope that one day, you’ll see me not even noticing you, and you’ll try to catch my eye. Because on that day, you’ll realize that there was something special between us, and you’ll regret that something didn't happened.
Wishing may be pointless, but hoping is never futile. Without hope, there isn’t love. And when you’re not around, I have a lot more hope. I expected this to be longer, but I guess I don’t have as much to say to you as I thought I would.
You’ll never get this letter, but somehow, if you do, just know that I’ll always remember you, as a lesson, a mistake, something that I had the chance to learn from, maybe even my first love, but I will never think of you as “the one who got away” because in reality, it was I who finally escaped from you.
(i was writing unsent letters to my crushes before it was cool)
