wee woo, wah hoo

they stole all my watermelons. why would they do that.

[allyourlife]

my fav calvin n hobbes joke and no one ever puts it anywhere

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[sycamorality]

op disabled reblogs but i really wanted this post on my blog again

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

[strawberry-seal77]

time loop with two people in it but one person refuses to acknowledge the loop and pretends to be looping with everyone else. meanwhile the other person is freaking out

[theconcealedweapon]

[thecyndimistuff]

[roboticoperatingbud]

[shabbytigers]

in other developments re german/anglo cultural exchange on breadstuffs, this image was posted to a facebook group yesterday

the following events ensued:

1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?

2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes

3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes

4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke

5. this absolute masterpiece:

[eldr1tch-cr0w]

number one rule! never believe ur thoughts after 10 pm . unless its about The Character then believe all of your thoughts wholeheartedly

[poupon]

Wow thanks for the ingot man let me just inspect the quality real quick

Dude come on

[valenalentine]

[konoko]

[amygdalae]

mutuals if you were a video game character I would do every step of your questline and get your good ending

[reallycoolsoup]

What would you do with non mutuals? Cause speedrunners are always killing me for my crystal scythe before doing my quest

[amygdalae]

Well now that I know you have a crystal scythe I'm definitely killing you for your crystal scythe

[butchfagminotaur]

the sims will never not be one of the funniest games on the planet

[chonny-jash]

the worst part about having a modern phone is accidentally pressing some cheat-code-ass combination of buttons to bring up the inbuilt AI software, adding to the statistics and making some tech billionaire company freak think I actually want that bullshit

[chonny-jash]

It has been brought to my attention that holding the power button is what brings up Gemini.

That's fucking crazy.

That sucks shit.

Fuck off man.

The fuck are we doing here.

[puffball920]

Settings - advanced features - side button and conk that shit away from there

I hated that setting soooo much too

[chonny-jash]

SAVIOUR

Consider this a PSA

It's an adjustable setting

[dogpuppy]

[roman-royy]

the always sunny podcast nº31