A guide to shipping aromantic characters:
Step 2: If you choose to ignore step 1, ask yourself, "why?"
What does shipping this aromantic character add? Is it "just for fun"? Why do you feel the need to force an aromantic character into a romantic relationship? Why is that fun for you? Do you think an aromantic individual would be made uncomfortable if they saw you shipping this character? Why can't the ship be non-romantic? (Note: If you ship characters "queerplatonically" don't just write a romantic relationship and say it's queerplatonic to avoid backlash. If you're making a queerplatonic actually fucking make it queerplatonic.)
Step 3: Do not erase the character's aromantic identity
The aromantic spectrum is huge and there are infinite labels you can use to better develop the dynamic between the characters. For example, recipromantic is an aromantic spectrum identity where one doesn't feel romantic attraction unless the user is made aware of the other individuals romantic feelings first. This label can work perfectly when wanting to ship an aromantic character because it acknowledges that the relationship is unnatural feeling to the character. Explore how an aromantic individual may navigate a romantic relationship, are they typically romance-repulsed? How does that affect the relationship? Have they been in romantic relationships in the past? How did their aromantic identity impact these previous relationships? Why did these previous relationships fail? Was it due to said aromantic identity? What trauma, paranoia, or other fears may arise from this?
Step 4: Don't give in to amatonormativity.
(amatonormativity: the societal assumptions or expectations that everyone prospers with an exclusive romantic relationship and/or desires an exclusive romantic relationship.) Some folk ship aromantic characters (intentionally or not) because of amatonormativity, the assumption that everyone *needs* a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled. Make it abundantly clear when shipping with this character that said relationship isn't, "filling a hole". This character is perfectly happy without a romantic relationship, they are in the relationship because they want to be. In fact, aromantic people can be in romantic relationships without feeling romantic attraction at all! This can be a very interesting concept to write around, how does their lack of romantic attraction affect their romantic relationship? How does this character navigate their "conflicting" feelings? How does their partner navigate a romantic relationship where they feel romantic attraction but their partner does not? You can further push this concept by making both characters on the aromantic spectrum. How do two aromantic folk navigate a romantic relationship with each other? A concept I love but don't see often is two cupioromantic (an aromantic identity where one feels no romantic attraction but still desires a romantic relationship) characters navigating a romantic relationship with each other.
Step 5: "It's not that serious/deep" It is.
If you are alloromantic I want you to shut the fuck up for literally 10 seconds. I want you to name every single alloromantic character you can think of, every character that canonically gets into a romantic relationship, that shows direct romantic interest in other characters. That list is probably impossible to name because almost every. Single. Character. Is alloromantic or shows romantic interest in others. Now name every (canonical) aromantic character.
If you're on the aromantic spectrum but still experience little, conditional, rare, etc. romantic attraction I'm going to hold your hand when I say this, some of you aren't good allies to the rest of your aromantic community. I usually hold back my criticisms of my own community, because navigating the world as someone on the aromantic spectrum is already hard enough, but some of y'all have some internalized amatonormativity you need to unpack. Especially some of you demiromantic folk. Every single arophobic experience that I had that wasn't from an alloro was from a demiromantic asshole to think their status as aro-spec makes them incapable of arophobia. I'm telling you, it fucking doesn't. If an aromantic individual tells you you're being arophobic don't deflect it with, "but I'm aro-spec!" You are just as capable of arophobia as alloro folk.
Experiencing no romantic attraction is isolating enough, even within the *aromantic community* because amatonormativity is a fucking disease, but navigating fandom spaces as an aromantic person can lead to a lot of self hatred, shame, and confusing or conflicting feelings.
I want to have a canonically aromantic character that people respect, because it shows that people respect me too. That people don't deep down think I'm fundamentally broken or need a romantic relationship to be interesting.
If you ship aromantic characters I am begging you to think about how other queer people feel when they are denied their representation. Imagine a gay or lesbian character being in a straight ship, a trans character being "headcanoned" as cis, a bisexual or pansexual or otherwise multisexual character being "headcanoned" gay/lesbian, a nonbinary character that is constantly misgendered by the fandom, or even think about when a non-white character is whitewashed or when a disabled character is "cured" in fanfiction or fanart for the author or artist's comfort.
Anyway, I'm gonna go play Minecraft.
