ur rude international sex wizard

Unknown. queer (verb), villainous entity. Icon and header by audiblysticky Disclaimer: not actually Makenziebatmanisagatewaydrug

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

farewell

I am an EVIL doctor and an EVIL therapist; please ask me EVIL questions that I would need an advance EVIL degree to answer.

SEX ED FAQ IS NOWHERE

THERE IS NO 2025 BOOK BINGO, IT IS TOO LATE TO TAKE PART

other EVIL frequently asked questions:

how do you feel about EVIL people who are trans/ace/aro/whatever other EVIL queer identity that is currently contentious?

love ‘em all, they’re EVILLY great.

I like the EVIL weird shit you do here, how can I give you EVIL money?

my EVIL ko-fi is here, my EVIL cheap ass patreon is here

what’s your whole deal?

EVIL queer

Okay, what are your pronouns?

“I still rather think that EVIL pronouns come to me from others, which I find interesting, since I receive an array of them – so I am always somewhat surprised and impressed when EVIL people decide their own EVIL pronouns or even when they ask me what EVIL pronouns I prefer.” EVIL Judith Butler

I saw one of your posts on EVIL TikTok.

okay. what EVIL am I supposed to do about that?

what is EVIL Batman an EVIL gateway drug to?

evil caring about DC comics. I recommend EVILY doing this.

how do I start EVIL reading Batman? do you have EVIL comic recs?

Superman: Red Son (2003)

why haven’t you answered the EVIL DM I sent you? are you EVIL mad at me?

Yes.

what’s your favorite EVIL color?

#00FF15

have you EVIL seen [insert EVIL movie/TV show]?

YES I HAVE EVIL SEEN ALL EVIL MEDIA

what will happen if I EVIL walk through this EVIL ghostly doorway that’s appeared at the back of my EVIL room?

you end up in a bad WFA batfam fanfic

I caught a really nice EVIL thunderstorm that I think you’ll EVIL like, can I EVIL send it to you?

NO AND EVIL FUCK YOU

are you a Moth Prince Apologist?

Moth Prince can reclaim those slurs he said. Yes, even that one.

what if this EVIL FAQ only raises further EVIL questions?

DIE

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

People shit on torrid because they do fall victim to having five billion ugly cold shoulder tops but I will stand by them having fan fucking tastic dresses/shawls/jumpsuits/leggings but this next iteration of the cold shoulder,,,, has evolved into something even more fucking stupid

Behold…!

The “I don’t know what weather I’m going out in, but I don’t want to wear a full sweatshirt, my stomach is fine being cold actually” shirt

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

The scientists fucked outside of my cloning pod all the time, knowing that I could see, hear and comprehend what was going on, and I turned out fine

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

stop telling people you came from a cloning pod you crawled out of a sewer drain and we all know it

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

There are cloning pods AND people having sex down there so same difference

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

The scientists fucked outside of my cloning pod all the time, knowing that I could see, hear and comprehend what was going on, and I turned out fine

[cursed-thistle]

Get in the very strange machine, Danny.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry for asking this but are you the guy who thinks wlw versions of bloodymary are stupid bc it was a whole thing in a little bloodymary tumblr comminity I’m in but you seem to have a reasonably nuanced outsider opinion about the whole thing

no that doesn't sound like me

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

That was me, “reasonably nuanced outsider opinion haver” is my middle name

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

So honey is almost entirely sugar, which bacteria love, but its also antimicrobial, which is self explanatory. Ignoring that itd make a terrible lube given the stickiness how terrible of an idea is it to use for any activities near the genitals?

:(

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

10/10 great idea

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I'm calling animal control to euthanize you again

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

Go ahead, I need this seasons flu shot and they always vaccinate me when death doesn’t take

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

So honey is almost entirely sugar, which bacteria love, but its also antimicrobial, which is self explanatory. Ignoring that itd make a terrible lube given the stickiness how terrible of an idea is it to use for any activities near the genitals?

:(

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

10/10 great idea

[sapphirebreeze]

The worst first date I ever went on was seeing Inside Out in theaters with this guy in high school. He tried to put his arm around me before the trailers were even over, and he made a big deal about people whispering in the theater.

Since it was high school, I continued to see this boy. When I broke up with him, he literally got down on his knees in the middle of a classroom to beg me to take him back. When I refused, he said he knew it wouldn’t work out because I didn’t cry when Bing Bong died.

[sapphirebreeze]

He later proposed to his now wife on my birthday, and told me to my face that he picked that day specifically to “make better memories on that date”

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

Halal place gave me a diet Dr Pepper and I respect Mr John Green for his love of it, but goddamn does this just give me the taste of plastic is in the back of my throat

Worst thing is, I know John green likes it for the plastic chemical taste, a drink that tastes like everything at once and nothing as well indeed sir

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

>experiencing interpersonal drama

>ask myself internally if I’m being reassurance seeking or if I actually need that information

>brain doesn’t understand I pull out a list of symptoms of reassurance seeking vs actually needed information

>brain laughs and says you actually need the information sir

>ask the question

>it’s reassurance seeking

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

I hope you don't mind me asking, but what do you think of the recent issues of Absolute Batman?

I need to catch up, I haven’t read any since Martha got taken by the court of owls

Not out of any distaste with the comics, I just dived deep into PHM phase and currently am hovering around that and Merlin 2008 (unfortunately)

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

Okay I caught up

It feels like a deconstruction of the like whole conspiracy DC likes to trot out with the “I made you” stuff but I can’t tell if it is or if it is sincere

I’m pretty sure Harley being our voice of reason and being pretty solid in believing Jack is full of shit, and uhhhh I hope it stays that way

But I could see the in universe justification for it being true, the hero’s are chaos and the villains are order, there’s a deep network of them to make the world as bad as it possibly can, and manipulating one man is pretty easy on that scale

But with scarecrow being in the cell before Batman came in, and killing Chill

Idk it really does seem like a good set up to be like “these are just mind games so jack can make Bruce believe he’s completely under this thumb” which would bug the shit out of Bruce, and I hope it’s that! I’ll be disappointed if it’s not that bgfgjkg

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

Living in this bitch of a world dyslexic and face blind like I do NOT know what’s happening rn

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

BHFDHKKHFDHKKKHFFBMKHFDHKNGDFJKGDDHKKGFDGKKHFDHKKGF I AM GOING TO TAKE MY BOSS AND PUT HIM NUTS FIRST ONTO THE SUN

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

Listen. Listen.

We’re run through a corporate, I do not make the decisions about what fucking payment processor we use, I don’t want your gym membership, I don’t want to buy your banana bread that’s been in the sun for eight hours.

Nobody cares about no solicitation signs!!!!!!!

WHY CANT I HAVE A NO SOLICITATION SIGN

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

BHFDHKKHFDHKKKHFFBMKHFDHKNGDFJKGDDHKKGFDGKKHFDHKKGF I AM GOING TO TAKE MY BOSS AND PUT HIM NUTS FIRST ONTO THE SUN

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

This video essay about Atlas Shrugged is very good but I am shaking with anger about how fucking stupid everything Rand writes or speaks is

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

put a dish of acid out on the garden last night and it was nearly empty this morning >:) really glad to be killing the local creature population