Evil-KnightPosting

currently on a dark and horrid quest. applications for a squire position (UNPAID) are open.

[inthetags]

Reblog and put in the tags the main reason you’re still on tumblr

[evilknightoathbreaker]

got turned out of my last job so im gonna go swear an oath to the newly risen but ambitious king who constantly uses and then disposes of those below him in station #idgaf

[innerchildabortionclinic]

I'm back on dark empath vs narcissist tiktok again and these comments are killing me

[evilknightoathbreaker]

hate when i get sent on a quest of great import only to finally realise at the end of it that it was merely all a test designed to teach me a valuable lesson. like bruh i dont want to become a better person i want to fail ignominiously and then die

[evilknightoathbreaker]

Literally just told a coworker that if she wasn't busy I could do with a 'mite bit of aid' and it took her having to ask me what I was talking about to realise that's not a normal thing that people say to each other

[evilknightoathbreaker]

So irritating when your liege has a clear favourite knight that they always call on to abandon their personal honour to be of better service or to fight duels in their name like I could do that too. probably

[evilknightoathbreaker]

Oracle told me that I will die seven deaths, each worst than the last. but I have a job so idrc about that right now.

[evilknightoathbreaker]

i would like 2 apply for squire

Ok first step of squirehood is you fill out my eight page application. Second step is you fax it to me. If you do not have a fax machine then too bad. Third step is you go and get me something to eat. Fourth step we are bound together inextricably and we will probably die in an effort to protect one another.

[evilknightoathbreaker]

we need to bring back being a flaneur. i wasn't meant to go to work for 37.5 hours per week i was MEANT to be a dandy about town.

[evilknightoathbreaker]

writing fantasy at the moment so if you guys have any good medieval-flavoured movies you'd like to recommend please use this post as a forum to advertise your fave. if u give a bad rec tho i will bring thunder down on your heads. so please bear that in mind

[medievaljournalist]

the king picked the guy with skull shoulderpads for the court magician job, which is exciting

[evilknightoathbreaker]

[evilknightoathbreaker]

where is my blood red paint and bone white chalk have the imps stolen them to make explosive barrels again

girl did you remember to label those properly? if not then u know ur gonna get sent to a hundred hundred years in the torture labyrinth (HR office)

[oldschoolfrp]

Humble Book Bundle: The World of Dragonlance by Wizards of the Coast

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[evilknightoathbreaker]

Can you share more info on what ur looking for in a squire application? 👀

so as my squire you'll need to carry all my stuff and let me tell you-I like to hoard. you are going to be slinging around: five javelins, a tent, my bedroll, twenty or so gleaming rubies that whisper only to you of betrayals to come, my stroopwafles, and a donkey. the donkey cant carry anything because he went union a few years back so now you've gotta carry him too.

[okthatsgreat]

anybody out there hiring gay losers. ideally a 100k/year salary and i work for one hour every day when i feel like it. thanks

[oldschoolfrp]

Eye of the Beholder (Daniel Horne, Dragon 156, April 1990)