excessexorcism

my life through the objects I'm getting rid of

[excessexorcism]

This is for me

But maybe it will help you.

I have a hard time getting rid of things. Cataloguing them before I make them leave my life seems like it would put my mind at ease.

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Item 47 of 100 - Various Bathroom Items

I went through my bathroom. These were in a set of cabinets, and items I could easily declutter on the first pass.

Very quickly,

Old Spice Timber Deodorant (Aluminum Free) – $7.99 Native Aluminum Free Travel Size Deodorant – $3.99 Lume Whole Body Travel Deodorant – $4.49

I learned I can’t use aluminum-free deodorants. Also, at the store, I thought I would love a tiny little travel deodorant. Even if the formula worked, the size is hard for my meaty pits to manage.

Aromatika Reed Diffuser Refill – $16.99 I bought this to refill a spooky reed diffuser container I got from Aldi years ago. I hated the smell. Too sharp. That’s what I get for buying blind from Amazon.

Wet Ones Antibacterial Hand Wipes – $1.99 I thought this would be cute in my purse. It was awful. The red dye from the packaging stained everything, and the liquid leaked. They dried out too.

Hawaiian Tropic Sport SPF 30 – $16.99 Banana Boat Sport SPF 30 – $1.99 Trader Joe’s Daily Facial Sunscreen – $8.99

I didn’t use any of these in time. They were all nearly full. I think my mom might have given me the Hawaiian Tropic spray as part of a multi-pack, but I also could have easily bought it myself. Either way, I didn’t need this many.

Body Glide Foot Glide Anti-Blister Balm – $9.00 I’m sensitive to blisters, but I still never used this. It melted in my bag, and the label flaked off and stained everything.

Monday Smooth Shampoo (Travel Size) – $3.00 Monday Smooth Conditioner (Travel Size) – $3.00 I bought these for travel. They were fine. But it was so hard to get the product out of the packaging that I gave up before finishing them. They weren’t good enough to justify the fight.

Each of these items seemed harmless on their own. But ultimately, I didn’t need any of them.

I probably purchased most of these for the shopping high. Travel is my favorite excuse, even though I already own refillable travel containers. I always have sunscreen. I didn’t need backups. I didn’t need travel sizes. I didn’t need reed oil.

It was so much money for nothing.

All of these add up to $78.42. EMBARRASSING.

Purchase Price: $78.42 Total Cost So Far: $864.64

Outcome: landfill

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Item 46of 100 – penpocolypse

I love stationery and can be ridiculous. I tested all the pens in my desk.

The ones above didn't work anymore. Trash.

These all work, but I don’t love them. They’re fine. Nothing is wrong with them. But I have others I prefer. I’m bringing these to work, where pens are communal and anonymous.

These are in limbo. I love a randomly branded pen. A hotel. A restaurant. A place I’ve been. It feels like proof of passage, even if I don’t remember when or how I got it. But I don’t love how they write. I’ll probably bring these to work too.

This is a nice set I’ve never used. I don’t remember when I got it. It may have belonged to one of my late family members. I want to make sure no one in my immediate family wants them or feels attached to them. If not, I will donate them to a secondhand store, or to my friend’s free pantry and clothing closet.

They’ve sat untouched for years. I don’t need to be their keeper if they mean more to someone else, or if they can simply be used. I'm not going to go into depth about how this is overconsumption, but it definitely is. I have a problem. I need to be mindful.

Purchase Price: N/A, I couldn't possibly keep track. Outcome: mixed — landfill, given to workplace, and donation pending

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When I started this years ago, I used AI to help with grammar and proofreading. I didn't realize how bad it was, and viewed AI as a great equalizer. I know better now. I also made some Frankenstein copy/paste mistakes. Is it ridiculous to redo my old posts? It’s what my brain yearns to do, to be more consistent with tags, rewrite things, fix the inconsistencies... especially after this long gap. hey, so it actually only has to make sense to me for me to do it but it does seem like it's a waste of my time.

It’s probably smartest to just leave this here and move forward. I don’t need a fresh slate every time. That’s how I end up with so many barely filled notebooks.

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I've been getting rid of things without posting about them. That feels good. Still haven't curbed unnecessary shopping though.

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Item 45 of 100 – La Colombe KeepCup

I have too much drinkware.

At one point, I was borderline obsessed with La Colombe. I still like their coffee, but I don’t feel that same attachment anymore. Back then, I would tack on branded travel mugs, diner mugs, and whatever extra merch they were offering onto my orders.

The amount of money I spent on that kind of thing? Embarrassing.

This is a KeepCup with the La Colombe logo. I got it in 2019, and at the time I liked it. It felt sleek. Functional. Like part of some imagined version of myself.

But I didn’t need it then, and I definitely don’t need it now.

The real issue is that it smells.

No amount of scrubbing, soaking, or cleaning has fixed it. I’ve tried vinegar, baking soda, dish soap and more. The lid holds onto the smell no matter what I do, and somehow even the glass started to smell, which feels impossible.

At some point, I realized I was spending more time trying to fix this cup than it was ever worth.

So I tossed the lid and recycled the glass.

And yet…

I’m still holding onto the rubber sleeve.

It doesn’t smell. It’s completely fine. For a moment, I considered buying a replacement cup and lid just to keep using the sleeve. Which is ridiculous. I already have more than enough travel mugs, and this one didn’t even keep my coffee hot very well.

But I’m letting myself keep the sleeve for now. Maybe it fits something else I already own. Maybe it doesn’t. This project exists because I can be irrational sometimes, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise.

This cup cost me $34.

That’s $34 to advertise for a company I liked at the time.

It’s gone now. Mostly.

Purchase Price: $34.00 Total Cost So Far: $786.22 Outcome: lid trashed, glass recycled, sleeve retained (for now)

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Item 44 of 100 – Sleater-Kinney – Dig Me Out

This one was easy once I was honest with myself.

My ex bought this when we were together and left it behind when we broke up. That’s not the reason I’m getting rid of it, but it is part of how it ended up here.

I do like some Sleater-Kinney songs, but I don’t like them enough to justify keeping this record.

I gave it another listen just to be sure, and it confirmed what I already suspected: I have no real attachment to it. It doesn’t spark anything for me. Even without the association, I know I’d never reach for this over anything else in my collection.

And at the end of the day, that’s enough.

Not everything needs a dramatic reason to go. Sometimes it’s just not for you.

This didn’t cost me anything, but it has been taking up space. Unless a friend wants it, I’m planning to set it aside with a few other records and sell them to a local used record store.

Purchase Price: $0 Total Cost So Far: $752.22 Outcome: sell / rehome

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Item 43 of 100: Album – The Beatles – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Duplicate)

I may have mentioned before that I received a lot of records recently, and this ended up being a duplicate.

The newer copy (on the left) is one I bought when I worked at a bookstore. I don’t remember exactly what I paid, but I know it was too much, even with the employee discount.

The older copy (on the right) is the one I’m keeping.

It belonged to a late family member. It means a lot to me. I think of him every time I play it.

So this one was an easy decision in a way, but also not.

I was already able to pass the duplicate along to a close friend who loves The Beatles but didn’t have this album on vinyl yet. That part feels really good. It’s not just leaving my collection, it’s going somewhere it’ll actually be played and appreciated.

I’ve loved this album since I was a kid. I still remember the day my dad brought me the CD. I was so excited. The Beatles were the first band I ever really got into.

Before that, I mostly just watched cartoons. One day my dad brought home a VHS of Yellow Submarine. I had no idea who The Beatles were, but I loved the music immediately. When he told me that the band in the cartoon had a whole catalog of songs, I was hooked. After that, he would surprise me with their CDs, and that kind of started everything.

Which is why it feels a little ridiculous that I bought another copy of this album years later when I already had access to so much of their music. And, if I’m being honest, I don’t need to buy most records I want.

Looking it up now, this pressing goes for $42.99, which is wild considering it’s not even a special edition. I’m guessing when I bought it (somewhere between 2016 and 2019), it was around $35, and I would have gotten about 20% off.

So I’ll estimate I spent about $28 on this duplicate.

It didn’t need to exist in my collection. But I’m really glad the sentimental one does.

Purchase Price: estimated $28.00 Total Cost So Far: $752.22 Outcome: given to friend

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Item 42 of 100 – Relish Dish

This was originally part of a set of four, but I honestly have no idea what happened to the other three. They got separated during a move, and this is the last survivor.

I don’t have a good place for it in my cabinets, and I don’t really have a use for it anymore. I originally bought these to hold used teabags for reuse, but I’ve since found other things that work better.

This one also has some staining that just won’t come out. I’m sure I could scrub it harder or use something abrasive, but at that point… why?

The set of four cost $10.99 back in 2019, so this one works out to about $2.75. It’s been around for five or six years, so it’s not like it didn’t get any use, but it definitely wasn’t something I needed.

And to make it slightly worse, I’ve since learned that a lot of items marketed as “bamboo fiber” are actually just melamine plastic mixed with bamboo. Basically greenwashed plastic. I don’t know the full science behind it, but it doesn’t feel great in retrospect.

So this is one of those small, random Amazon purchases that seemed harmless at the time and just… lingered.

It’s stained, it’s incomplete, and it’s not useful anymore.

Purchase Price: $2.75 (portion of $10.99 set) Total Cost So Far: $724.22 Outcome: landfill

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Item 41 of 100 – ROCKURWOK 1.5 QT Nonstick Saucepan

temporary solutions are still purchases

I ordered this from Amazon about two years ago, a few months after moving into my own place. It was one of those practical housewarming purchases. I used a gift card to help get set up.

I knew I had a much nicer stainless steel saucepan back in another state that I’d eventually get back, but in the meantime, I needed something functional. A small saucepan is something I use constantly, so I grabbed this one without thinking too hard about it.

I enjoy cooking, and I generally believe in investing in good cookware. But when it comes to nonstick, I always go cheap. I just don’t trust it to last, even the “nice” versions. (I got scammed by an Our Place pan once. NEVER AGAIN.)

I’m careful with my nonstick pans. No metal utensils, always hand washed, no high heat. And still, I don’t expect them to last forever.

Case in point: my longest-lasting nonstick pan is a $5 Daiso find that I’ve had for nearly a decade. Still smooth. Still works perfectly.

This one? Started scratching in under two years.

Annoying.

To be fair, I bought this knowing it wasn’t my forever pan. It did exactly what I needed it to do while I didn’t have my stainless steel one. And I used it a lot.

But it’s still frustrating to see it fail so quickly, especially when I took care of it.

At this point, the coating is scratched enough that I don’t feel comfortable donating it. And now that I have my stainless steel saucepan back, I don’t need two pans the same size anyway.

So this one’s done.

Purchase Price: $25.95 Total Cost So Far: $721.47 Outcome: landfill

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Item 24 of 100 – Part 6 – Makeup (Part 6: Sephora + Pantone Universe “Shades of Nature” Palette

I’m internally screaming.

It’s the same story over and over again.

This palette is about 12–13 years old, and I’ve still been forcing myself to use it. At some point that stops being responsible and starts being ridiculous. It’s too old. I’m never going to finish it, and I have other makeup I’d genuinely rather use.

So it’s time to let it go.

This is the Sephora + Pantone Universe Shades of Nature palette. I remember being really excited about it at the time. The colors looked beautiful, and the packaging felt special. But looking back, this sits right in the middle of the period where I was buying far more makeup than I could ever realistically use.

I paid $55 for this palette.

That number hurts.

Over a decade ago I was making significantly less money than I do now, and I still spent $55 on a makeup palette. I’ve held onto it all these years partly because of that price tag, trying to “get my money’s worth,” even when I stopped enjoying it.

At this point it’s simply expired makeup taking up space.

And this one pushes an uncomfortable realization: just from what I’ve posted on this blog alone, I’ve already decluttered $213 worth of makeup. That number makes me cringe. It’s a reminder of how much I bought during that phase of my life.

What I need to do now is the opposite of what I did then. No replacing things unless I actually run out. No buying makeup because I’m bored, sad, or convinced a new shade will magically solve something.

I already have more than enough.

Purchase Price: $55.00 Total Cost So Far: $695.52 Outcome: landfill

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Item 40 of 100 - 20lb Bag of Feline Pine Cat Litter

the emergency backup that was never needed

I bought this about two years ago during the strange post-lockdown supply shortages. At the time there was a lot of talk about a potential cat litter shortage, and this was the only option on the shelf. So I bought a bag as a backup.

My stubborn boy Percy only tolerates clay litter. Anything else becomes a mess immediately. I’m also a little nervous about trying silica litter, so when I saw this bag of Feline Pine I figured it would at least be better than nothing if I ran out.

Luckily the shortage never actually affected me.

Instead, this bag just sat in my closet for two years taking up space.

Eventually I posted it in my local Buy Nothing group, and it was picked up by a woman who fosters kittens. You can see the bag sitting on my porch waiting for pickup.

That outcome feels like a win. I never had to use it, but it’s now going somewhere that will.

I’m not exactly sure what I paid for it, but these bags usually run between $11 and $14 online, so I’m estimating about $12. Cat litter itself is obviously something I need to buy for Percy, but this particular kind was always meant as a backup that I hoped I’d never have to use.

In the end, the real lesson here is probably that I could have passed it along sooner instead of letting it occupy closet space for years.

Purchase Price: estimated $12.00 Total Cost So Far: $640.52 Outcome: picked up by Buy Nothing

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Inconsequential Advice Needed, Please

I really enjoyed the first season of Squid Game, but I just don’t think I can stomach watching the second season. I’ve managed to avoid spoilers and know next to nothing about the new season, aside from seeing a few stills, people online playing a Roblox version, and thirst edits of characters I know nothing about.

For context: I can handle horror, it’s my favorite genre. However, a few months ago, I suddenly and unexpectedly lost a close family member. Since then, I’ve been able to watch and even enjoy media involving horror or death. I’ve watched The Substance multiple times this year, I loved Nosferatu, and my favorite movie of 2024 was Love Lies Bleeding. (Not the most horrific film, but it still had its share of death and despair.) So, I don’t know why I hesitate over Squid Games

That said, something in me has temporarily shifted. There’s a version of me, not too long ago, that would’ve marathoned Squid Game Season 2 several times over by now. But now, I hesitate. I can’t shake the feeling that it might just be too much for me right now.

Still, I’m humoring the idea that maybe, just maybe, if I let myself, I’d actually enjoy it. After all, I really loved the first season.

So, if you’ve seen it, what are your thoughts? Do you think it will be too triggering? Will I enjoy it? Should I watch it but shut down any emotional attachment I may have?

Thanks in advance.

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Item 24 of 100 - Makeup Part 4 (MAC lipstick)

This lipstick had to go. (And honestly, I’ll be decluttering a lot more makeup soon.)

This lipstick had to go. And honestly, there will be a lot more makeup leaving soon.

I vividly remember buying this at a MAC store in person. It was part of a special day where I had a makeup artist do my makeup for me. I also picked up my first MAC foundation that day, and I felt very grown up.

The lipstick, however, wasn’t actually my choice.

I asked the artist to recommend a shade, and she suggested Shy Girl. At the time I went along with it. Looking back, I was young and didn’t really understand my own preferences yet. I don’t think this color ever truly suited me.

Now? The color horrifies me.

It’s a pale nude orange that I don’t remember being this unflattering. Maybe it changed over time. Maybe it always looked like this and I just didn’t realize it. Either way, it’s much more orange than I expected, and I have absolutely no idea how to make it work for me now.

If I’m being generous, I probably bought this around 2012, though it could have been as early as 2010. Either way, it’s over a decade old. The shade itself was discontinued in 2019, and I haven’t worn it in years.

For curiosity’s sake, I looked up the price. I likely spent around $17.00 on it at the time. Today MAC lipsticks run between $23 and $27.

More importantly, this purchase sits right at the beginning of my makeup-buying phase. Maybe not full addiction yet, but definitely the early stages of collecting things simply because I wanted to have them.

And honestly, all decluttered makeup still feels like a fail to me. I bought far more makeup than I could ever realistically use. If I had owned a small, reasonable collection and this was just a shade that didn’t work for me, I’d be kinder to myself. But that’s not really what was happening back then.

This lipstick is over ten years old, well used, and way past its life anyway, so it’s headed to the trash.

Purchase Price: $17.00 Total Cost So Far: $628.52 Outcome: landfill

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Item 39 of 100

Looking at the photo, I hope it’s obvious why these had to go. They’re peeling and completely unusable. I even included a picture of the plastic debris they leave behind every time I wear them.

I love the romanticism of keeping and using old, worn things. But there’s a difference between worn and disintegrating. I can’t justify holding onto something that leaves flakes of plastic everywhere.

These are the Urbanears Plattan 2 BT headphones. While they lasted, they were perfectly fine. I got a lot of use out of them.

Originally I thought I had owned them much longer, but while writing this post I went digging through old email confirmations and found the purchase: January 2020 from Nordstrom Rack for $24.97. Their original MSRP was around $100, so at the time it felt like a good deal.

That means they lasted almost five years.

Which honestly isn’t terrible. But it still feels frustrating that they’re being thrown out because the plastic coating started shedding like reptile skin. If a hinge had snapped or the foam had worn out, that would feel more understandable. This just feels wasteful.

At least I used them until they deteriorated. That’s the goal, right? Buy something you need, use it until it no longer works, and then replace it.

I went through a lot of mediocre headphones before these: cheap Amazon pairs that broke quickly, wired ones that squeezed my jaw, generally unreliable options. So this wasn’t an impulse purchase. I genuinely needed them.

Still, it might be worth doing a little research next time to find something longer-lasting or easier to repair. Then again, maybe nearly five years is actually decent for headphones in the 2020s.

Either way, these are clearly done.

Purchase Price: $24.97 Total Cost So Far: $611.52 Outcome: landfill

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Item 38 of 100

Too many.

The good news is these already have a new home lined up. A friend of mine just moved, and she’ll be picking them up soon, which feels like a win in this ongoing decluttering project.

I’m letting go of four espresso cups total. Two are from Target’s Threshold line (originally $5 each) and two are Le Creuset cups.

The Le Creuset ones sound fancy, but I didn’t pay full price. I found them at HomeGoods where they were probably clearing out the color, and I’m pretty sure they were $6.99 each.

Now for the part where I look a little ridiculous.

I already owned a set of four espresso cups that I loved. But when I had to move abruptly, they were temporarily left behind in another state. Instead of waiting for them to make their way back to me, I bought two espresso cups from Target.

A few weeks later (apparently forgetting I had already solved this problem) I bought another two at HomeGoods.

Eventually my original four cups returned to me.

Which meant I suddenly owned eight espresso cups.

For one person.

Living alone.

Realistically I should have just bought one or two temporary cups and waited for the originals to come back. Instead I ended up with duplicates of duplicates. At least these will get used by my friend instead of sitting in my cabinet.

Between the Target cups and the HomeGoods Le Creuset ones, I spent about $17 on cups I didn’t actually need.

Purchase Price: $17.00 Total Cost So Far: $586.55 Outcome: given to friend

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It's Been a Year

I’d like to revive this space and use it as a way to work through what I’m letting go of, track purchases, and navigate everything else that comes with the ongoing battle against clutter.

Every year seems to bring a new excuse for why I accumulate things. This past year was a sadder one, but I want to confront the clutter head-on and use this blog as a tool to stay mindful.

In the past, I’ve noticed that tracking what I’m getting rid of has sometimes had the opposite effect, it’s made me hold onto things longer than I should. I don’t want to fall into that trap again. Recently, I’ve been making progress: donating clothes, adding books to Free Little Libraries, giving items to friends, posting in Buy Nothing groups, and even throwing things out when I need to. It’s far from a perfect system, but I’m focusing on what works for me right now.

At the end of the day, rules aren’t real. I’ll use this space as it feels right, whether that’s working through items I’m struggling to part with or simply documenting my decisions. Some choices feel monumental, while others don’t. It’s a cycle: reflecting on my relationship with stuff helps me let go, but that reflection often makes me think about it even more.

For now, my goal is to just keep showing up here, using this process in a way that feels natural, and seeing where it takes me. Here’s to a more intentional and thoughtful year ahead.