Nights like this were the worst. Nights were the silence in the house wasn’t because of the peaceful slumber of its inhabitants but because all the energy in it had been drained by the screaming before.
Without making any noise, she climbed out of her bed and opened the window that led into the night. A few soft moves and she was outside, feeling the nightly breeze in the hair.
Her thoughts brew like a storm inside her head, leaving no more room for fatigue. It was way past midnight but she knew that he would be awake, writing and brooding into the night, like he always did.
Her legs swiftly carried her to his location and without actually realizing, she knocked at his window, hoping he’d be in his usual spot. A few seconds later, he opened the front door to his house, giving her a questioning look. Before he could ask her about her visit, he recognized a familiar expression of exhaustion and quickly pulled her into a hug. “What happened?”
No longer able to hold back, a few tears escaped her eyes, followed by a quiet sob.
His arms still wrapped around her, he kissed her on the forehead, trying to offer as much consolation as possible. To his concern, she remained quiet, so he pulled her inside his house and upstairs, into his room, never letting go of her hand.
After sitting down, she quickly wrapped her arms around herself, trying to shield herself from the outside world. Her seemingly endless flow of tears had stopped but her emotionless face was even more unsettling to him.
“Talk to me”, he pleaded quietly when she refused to speak. An uncomfortable silence fell on them which neither of them knew how to break.
He almost gave up on hearing a word from her when she suddenly spoke up.
“The screaming, the fighting, the pain, I don’t think I can stand it another minute. All I can think of is the smell of booze and the white dust of whatever they bought in another dark alley”, she took a deep breath, “they don’t want me anymore.”
His eyebrows raised at her confession and his hand searched hers again. “What do you mean?”
“They told me to leave and never come back. They want me gone by tomorrow.”
The lack of emotion in her voice scared him but he failed to find reassuring words for her situation. Instead, he pulled her into a hug again which she gladly accepted. “Stay here, alright? We’ll pick up your stuff together.”
A silent sob escaped her mouth again and she shivered at her best friends’ words. “No, I can’t put this burden on you.”
“You are not a burden and it was not a question.”
“I can’t. I just…I can’t stay with you.”
Irritated, he cupped her face. “Why not?”
Softly, she closed her eyes while another tear rolled down her eyes. Everything in her body wanted to tell him, confess that she couldn’t stand being near him without caressing his face, hugging his torso or kissing his lips. But no, she couldn’t tell him when he was her safe haven, her last piece of happiness. She simply couldn’t risk it.
“Hey, why can’t you?”, he repeated his question with a worried expression. His fingers softly cupped her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Live here, with me.”
“I’m afraid of what I’ll say if I do”, she confessed quietly with closed eyes. Somehow, she had hoped he would accept his answer but obviously, he didn’t.
A frown forced its way onto her face. “I might admit that I love you. But I won’t because you’ll push me away and I can’t live without my best friend.”
Her eyes flew open and panicked she starred at him. “Forget what I said, I didn’t mean to say that!”
Surprisingly, he smiled at her, not in a mocking but amused way. Her face still in his hands, he closed the distance between them and kissed her as softly as possible.
When they broke apart, she starred at him with a star-struck expression. “Too bad because then I’d say that I feel the same.”
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