M.LIST
EXO
Down in Dust || Sehun x reader x Yixing (Lay) (series, bestfriend!Yixing , husband!sehun)
NCT
Vertigo || Mark lee x reader x Yuta || (series, university!au, strangers to lovers au)

Discoholic 🪩
Three Goblin Art
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Sweet Seals For You, Always

#extradirty
One Nice Bug Per Day
will byers stan first human second
Show & Tell

oozey mess
DEAR READER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

⁂
Claire Keane
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
ojovivo

roma★
Not today Justin

Janaina Medeiros
taylor price

izzy's playlists!
seen from Canada

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Netherlands

seen from Türkiye

seen from Canada

seen from United States

seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Indonesia
seen from Canada
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Mexico

seen from China
seen from Singapore
seen from Brazil
@exoczn
M.LIST
EXO
Down in Dust || Sehun x reader x Yixing (Lay) (series, bestfriend!Yixing , husband!sehun)
NCT
Vertigo || Mark lee x reader x Yuta || (series, university!au, strangers to lovers au)
hey yall i’m working on vertigo’s 5th chapter
DOWN IN DUST || Chapter 3
1 || 2 || 3
PAIRINGS: READER X SEHUN, READER X YIXING
GENRE: DRAMA AND ANGST (YIXING BFF, HUSBAND SEHUN AU)
TAGLIST: @raywishii @inhalefumes
———————————————————————————————————
“Do you think a person can love two people at the same time”
All you could feel was this sudden burst of anger while tears were forming in your eyes and your hands clenched tight into fists. You weren’t sure of what was happening to you at all and you felt all the air out of your lungs suddenly vanishing. You just wanted it all to be a bad dream and wanted to wake up from it has soon as possible.You didn’t know if you heard that right or not and you couldn’t process what he just said. You were shocked to the core and didn’t know who he was talking about because the Sehun you knew, would never do something like this to you.
You couldn’t move, the weight of your own body was getting too heavy to support you so you fell to the ground and you realised you were having a panic attack and you were trying your hardest to just breathe but you couldn’t, you just couldn’t.
Sehun tried to reach for you and you wanted it to stop, you just wanted it to stop.
“Move away from me,” you said with a crack in your voice.
“Y/N let me expl-“
“I SAID MOVE AWAY FROM ME AND DO NOT TOUCH ME,” you screamed at him and he took a step back.
You rushed to your shared bedroom and locked it from the inside and started packing a bag all in a hurry while Sehun was banging on the door and asking you to open it.
After what seemed like an hour, you finally had all of your necessities in the bag and your head was throbbing with everything going on. You opened the door and saw very nervous Sehun sitting on the couch bending his upper body forward, fidgeting with his fingers. You didn’t say anything to him and started walking towards the door.
“Y/n, where are you going??” he got up and rushed behind you
“I asked you to not come near me, I need some time and this is for the best I think and do not follow me,” with that you left.
————————————————————
You could only think of one person to go to after whatever happened to you. So here you were here standing in front of Yixing’s door waiting for him to open it.
“Y/n??? What happened??? What are you doing here with a suitcase? Did you fight?”
“Yixing let me in, I’ll explain everything.”
Yixing brewed you both some tea and you explained everything to him whatever happened within the past few hours with you and you still couldn't believe it and you started sobbing in his shirt and you were just so embarrassed for some reason. He tried to pat your back softly and comfort you by telling you that he's here with you and to let it all out.
--------------------------------
You opened your eyes and took a moment to take all you were hoping that it was just a bad dream but you saw yourself in Yixing’s guest bedroom. You didn't realize when you fell asleep but your head was still throbbing. It was probably midnight and you were hungry so you got up and went to the kitchen to find something to eat. You saw Yixing sitting on the couch in his sweats with his glasses on while working on his computer.
He hears you and looks up saying, “I made some lasagna for dinner, there’s some in the fridge and I figured you’d be hungry.”
You nodded and heated the leftovers from the fridge and came and sat next to him on the couch.
You were hungry but at the same time had no energy or appetite to actually finish it so you were just playing with whatever you had in your plate with your fork. The room was lit with a not too bright yellow light.
It was quiet until Yixing decided to break it, “You know that you gotta eat to be able to break his face right?”
You chuckled and answered, “Yes but you're stronger than me so will you do it for me instead?”
“Nah, it'll be more effective if you do it though. You are scarier.” he shrugs. You try to hit him but he manages to dodge it and you roll your eyes
After you finish with your dinner you say, “Yixing, I have a question for you.”
He looks up through his glasses, “hmm? What is it?”
“Did you know about it?”
Hi.... are you going to continue the sehun one pr not? Just asking😅 I liked the story.....
im trying to write the next chapter rn, might be out in a week or so maybe, pls hang in there 😭
VERTIGO || CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER ONE • CHAPTER TWO • CHAPTER THREE • CHAPTER FOUR
m.list
Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader x Yuta
Genre: Angst, Fluff
warnings: none for this chapter
Plot: what happens when you feel like a failure yet again like always and you’re not enough in a new city and accidentally meet a stranger who is broken himself but changes your life along with his own by a short encounter near the Vancouver river
————————————————
You woke around afternoon because you slept at 3:30 am and spent the last night listening to soft alternative music, drinking cheap wine and looking at the sky; it wasn’t starry in particular but you always liked nights like this.
You get up to make coffee for yourself and your phone buzzes.
Yuta: Heyyy
Yuta: The party thing is still on, right??
You suddenly realise that it's Saturday and start panicking. You go to your closet and start finding something to wear but you’re too confused and you feel nothing looks that good according to you. So you call Yuta immediately.
he picks up after 3 rings
"hello?? y/n, what's up? don’t say you can’t make it and break my heart.” he chuckles.
“Hey no! I won't do something like that yEt but well anyway that's not why I called you. I called you because I’m confused as to what should i wear and i wanted to ask you, uhhh
what would you be wearing?”
“well it's just a bunch of rich kids renting an airbnb and throwing a party, nothing fancy? He sighs and continues “I’m literally so excited to see you again idk why but can’t wait”
You try for it to not affect you that much and stop yourself from smiling that much and continue “Yes me too”
“anyway y/n I’ll pick you up around 10:30?”
“sure”
——————————————————————
You started getting ready around 9 after having some leftovers from last night. You were wondering about how things in your life were going pretty smoothly and how Yuta was everything you wanted in a guy. It really had been a week since met him and he texted you the night you met him in the coffee shop.
You both talked about music, anime, how you felt about the city, he talked about japan and his old neighborhood where he grew up and realized you both were going to the same university and Mark too.
You looked yourself in the mirror. You were wearing your 560 levi’s and a black cropped tank with your chelsea boots. You wore silver hoops and a small lock necklace. You were about to finish your look with a clear lipgloss when you heard your doorbell ring and figured who it might be.
You finished applying your gloss quickly and rushed to open the door and saw him standing there with a smug smile on his face and his pretty eyes. His eyes were almost too pretty. He was wearing a black shirt with a pair of light washed jeans as well.
“Oh my goodness you’re looking almost as pretty as me” he said, widening his eyes with an open mouth smile showing his perfect teeth.
Why is he so pretty? What's happening to you y/n?
You rolled your eyes while laughing and said “ha ha ha right” sarcastically.
“And look! We’re matching! No wait… you copied me”
“We’re matching, yes. I copied you, it's not even possibly possible einstein.”
“But anyway y/n, you look- “
“Amaaazing, i know.” you both laughed.
“Now, shall we?” He held out his hand and you took it.
-----
You enter the place and see a tall guy with brown hair walking up to the two of you with a huge smile and hugs Yuta.
“y/n this is Johnny, johnny this is y/n.”
“Dude wow! She pretty pretty- “
“TOLD YA” Yuta says while shrugging
“Hi Johnny and thanks” you shake his hand and smile.
“Hey John, where's Mark?”
“You know he hates parties, he's probably in the balcony or somewhere drinking his beer.”
You weren't much fond of parties yourself but you came anyway as you already had no social life here and didn't know anyone else other than Sehun who lived in front of you and Kaitlyn your college friend.
You played a round of beer pong with Yuta, Johnny, Taeyong (his other ‘bro’) and some other people. At this point you were somewhat tipsy and wanted to have some water. So you went to the kitchen to get some water for yourself and for some reason the kitchen was somewhat dark but illuminated by the light coming from outside so you didn't bother to switch on the lights.
You walk inside, you hear somebody “Y/n?” You jump
“MARK???!!”
“Yes its me, calm down.”
“MY HEART WAS GONNA COME OUT OF MY CHEST, YOU DUMBASS!” you almost screamed
“I'm sorry I must've startled you” he chuckles.
“No shit sherlock” you roll your eyes and he starts laughing, it's almost like he's squeaking. It's cute.
After he stops, there's awkward silence between the two of you. You gulp down the water in your glass.
“So how are things going between you and Yuta?” he finally asks.
“Good” you nod your head “great, I mean. He’s a nice guy and he's funny but very cocky. I think that's why I like him that much.”
He chuckles again “I know he can get very cocky but it is indeed funny. He might look like an asshole to people or intimidation but he's a good guy.”
“What’s up with your ex thing btw? Do you still miss her or-” you try to make conversation and also you were genuinely curious about how he is coping up with it because the first time you saw him, he looked pathetic.
“Oh no no i don't anymore, i don't care about her anymore and i've realized that the whole dating shit is not for me i guess. Plus i like being alone now, it's comforting and i don't have to worry about ‘how to tell her that i hate being around her friends’ thing.”
“Right”
“Also did i tell you that you look good with that haircut.”
“Thanks” you smile. “My brother thinks i look like a 7th grader.”
“No wayyyy. It suits you” he gives a genuine smile”
You thank him and then you remember “Oh Yuta, Johnny and your other friends were looking for you!”
You leave the kitchen with Mark and you see Yuta, Taeyong and Johnny near the staircase.
You walk to them and Yuta says “Oh markkk where were you? I’ve been looking for you since I walked in.”
“I was uh-”
“y/n where’d you find him and where were you ???” yuta asks you this time.
“I went to get water in the kitchen and i saw him there.”
Yuta got asked, “Oh.. are you fine??!!”
You noticed him completely ignoring the other three’s existence which made you feel special but guilty for some reason.
You shook your thoughts away and replied
“Uhm yes i don't know, i'm good, just a little exhausted.”
“Should i take you home?”
“No, it's fine, I can take the train and go back on my own.”
“It's not safe at this hour, I'll drop you.”
With that you both take off after saying goodbyes to johnny, mark and taeyong.
---------------------
MARKS POV/
After y/n and Yuta left,, Taeyong went to get smirnoff and
Johnny asked,”Hey Mark! Uhm why do you like y/n by any chance too?”
He caught me off guard by asking that and there were sirens ringing in my head and i didn’t know how to respond to it but i knew that lying wouldn't be a sensible option because he would easily catch me in seconds but i still tried to act as if i didn't know what he was talking about and said
“W-what makes you think that?” I fake laughed.
“Listen bro idk how others didn't notice but you know you were being quite obvious. Like when he rushed next to her to ask if she's okay, your face screamed that you were sooo jealous, i don't know what you plan on doing next but i really suggest you talk to her about it bro.”
“man, i thought of it kinda and tried asking her about what's up with the whole situation and honestly, she seemed to really like him and well i don't wanna get into whatever they have for each other by confessing it to her and like i don't even know her so it's just plain weird for me to think of anything.” I tried to justify what I was doing to him and it felt more like trying to justify myself.
I went ahead and told johnny about how we actually met and how back then i was a coward and not smart enough to say anything but i realized i didn't really get a chance to say something to her and started wondering about what johnny said.
Was it that obvious? What am i trying to do? Am I a bad friend?
------------------------------------
You reached your building around 1ish and Yuta tried to ask you out on another date but this time he said it'd be a proper just you-and-him-alone-date and you thought it'd be cool because so far things were going too well and you liked him too.
It was weird for you to process how vocal he was about his feelings for you and you realized that's probably the most attractive thing about him, he wasn't playing games with your feelings like you're used to otherwise and it was nice for a change.
You would have your mind wondering about mark once a while but you’d force yourself to tap back into reality.
Indie Film Lovers | Yuta
genre: enemy to lovers!au, chefs!au,soft
warnings: none
word count: 1.5k
requested by: @exoczn
song: indie film lovers by lyss & kerri
———————————————————————
You were feeling overwhelmed by all the stress caused by work and all the customers and the whole staff which most of them generaly suck at doing their one job.Almost no one had any desire to their job properly and all of that you had to manage all by your own. And tonight was no different.
“Chef, Kim burned all the pork for the phо.What are we supposed to do now?” one of the only sensible employee of yours,Mina complained about her grumpy co-worker Kim Doyoung.
“Tell him to start preparing to finish all the phо by himself and about the meat - tell him to be careful because it may be his last meat he will ever cook in this kitchen.”
“Yes,Chef.”
You were looking at the finished meals,trying to see if there were any mistakes.
“Xiaojun!Come here.Now.”
You could see the fear in his eyes.He was still new in here.
“Did you make these desserts?” you pointed at the beautifully made plates.The boy nodded.
“They look really god and the aroma coming out of them is really rich and mouth-watering and so im sure their taste is great as well. Well done!” you turned to him.
“Thanks,Chef.I really apreciate that.”
“You are welcome,now go back to work” you intructed him.
“Yes,Chef” he bowed and left.
There were tons of people in your restaurant and it was really nerve-wracking to guide a whole staff, half of them them useless and you were just so tired. Lately, the only thing you did was work.Work,work,work. You do not remember the last time you watched a whole film or went somewhere outside the town just to relax.You didn’t even have time to eat properly.
At first the idea of opening your own restaurant seemed like a dream to you and after you did it you did not hesitate for a moment if this is what you really wantedz . Starting off was hard enough but “lucky” for you another new restaurant opened the same time as you opened yours, and it is owned by a particular person you don’t like at all -Nakamoto Yuta.
You both we in the same cooking school and at first you guys got along but as the time passed the rivalry you both prevailed and in the end it turned to hate. So now you two were the biggest competitors in this city. You’ve never been to his restaurant and it’s not like you wanted to but you were always questioning yourself if his cuisine was better than yours or if the restaurant was prettier than yours, and little did you know he was asking himself the same.
After your restaurant by closed for that day, you went home and passed out in your bed,but not for long. You couldn’t sleep due to all the stress and hunger you were experiencing. So you got up and decided to got to the nearby 24h supermarket to eat something. It was nearly 3am. You greeter the cashier and started thinking what to eat when you found in front of dozens of instant ramen. You haven’t eaten these for years. In the cooking academy you had to cook some fancy ramen you couldn’t buy from that kind of stores. Anyways yoy decided to buy some ramen and eat it in the store.You took everything you needed and went to the check out and bought them. As you sat down to eat, someone else entered the store.You couldn’t quite see who it was but it’s not like you cared anyways.
“Well,well have you seen a 5-star restaurant chef eat ramen alone at 3am “ a cocky voice reached out to you.
/I never expected you to come around/
What a nice surprise,Nakamoto Yuta! Brilliant!
“Hello,Yuta.As we can all see you are not so different.” He was holding exactly the same type of ramen plus some other snacks
“Fair enough” he made a place for himself at your table. “Soo?”
“So what?” you spit,not looking at him.
“Whoa,dont be so rude ma’am.”
/But you came in and you swept me off my feet/
“I am not even trying”
“Okay, so i’ll talk first”
“You already did.”
“Damn, you really aint in a mood”
“Yeah,thanks to you” you continue eating your ramen.
“Why are you like this? What did I ever do you?We used to be friends.”
/When we’re together it feels like a movie scene,Like indie film lovers/
Thats true.You really used to be friends with Yuta. You were actually really close friends and you expected after graduating uni you both will continue to be friends with him. You remembered how you to became friends because a teacher peared you both to make french macarons and actually yours macarons were the best of the whole class and after that you two were inseparable - you cooked together , you studied together,hung out together until one day you realised you were in love with him. And since that day you couldn’t face him, you didn’t want to tell him and you just decided to ignore him.So you slowly stopped talking to him and temporary achieved to distance yourself from him.Gradually the friendship turned into just waving to each other which later turned into a rivalry and since then until today nothings has changed.Neither your attitude towards him, nor his ignorance towards you.After you deiced to distance yourself he didn’t what was going on and he couldn’t stop questioning himself and blaming himself that you guys are not friends anymore just by the time he wanted to confess his feelings to you which never happened.
“As you said we “used to” but we are not anymore” you stole a quick glance towards him.
/Let’s go from a to z, tell me what you feel for me/
“Yeah but why? Why are we not friends anymore?What happened ,Y/N?” the look in his eyes was so pure yet so sad and you couldn’t help but blame yourself for his pain because in fact it was your fault.
This is what fear causes - it ruins friendships.You deeply regreted your desicion every single day but it was for the best - at least thats what you thought.
“I dont know Yuta, its already been years, we should forget about it” you looked down,ashamed.
/We’ll color everything,Don’t forget the in between/
“No,Y/n,we shouldn’t.I want us to be friends,at least.”
at least? what is this supposed to mean? what you two could possibly be more than friends...oh. does this mean he had felt the same as you? was this possible?
you took a breath in, a very deep breath. you felt as if you couldnt utter the next few words but if you did, the pressure in your chest that has been there for so long will finally be gone.
/I didn’t know it would be this easy to turn my frown,Upside down/
“Yuta, do you know the reason I stopped talking to you in the uni?”
“No, but I would like to know”
you took a deep breath once again.
“I liked you, like a lot”
dead silence came in. you felt your heart ache and your stomach go crazy.Yuta looked at you with widened eyes.
/Like indie film lovers/
“Are you kidding me? You stopped talking to me because you liked me?! Y/N are you out of your damn mind?!”
/We’ll color everything,It’s only you and me/
you felt bad,really bad. you felt that its finally gonna be over,like you’d tell yuta you liked him he’d laugh, he’d leave and everything would be okay.
silence filled the already heave air again.
“I-i dont know what to say, I am sorry” you mumbled.
/I am little more than a whisper,A cool breeze/
yuta looked at you and his eyes softened.
“Y/n I’ve loved you since the day i met you”
what...the...actual...hell? did he just say that? nakamoto yuta just told you he have loved you for years? freaking nakamoto yuta - the best japanese chef in korea,oh my god.
“w-what?” you barely kept your smile from coming out.
“yes,y/n, i have been trying to tell you for so long and in uni when we were friends i really fell so hard for you and i was so ready to tell you and i couldn’t wait to graduate and to open our very own restaurant, y/n I still love you.”
you felt your ye eyes watering,and your smile taking over your face. you couldn’t describe what you were feeling -it was truly an euphoria.
“I still love you too you know”
“ I hoped so!” he stood up and hugged you tightly.” do you want to start over?”
“yes”
“okay so hey beautiful lady,whose name I definetely do not know.”
“its a pleasure to meet you, you unknown handsome man, my name is y/n y/l/n”
“what a beautiful name! nakamoto yuta is my name,pleasure to meet you too”
you both laughed and looked deeply at each others eyes.
“i like you,yuta,i really do”
“ i like you so much too y/n, you are the one i’ve been waiting for my whole life.”
/I never expected you to come around,I didn’t know it would be this easy to turn my frown,Upside down/
masterlist
MAN I LOVE THIS SO MUCH @heanv 🤧
should i make a spotify playlist for Vertigo???
VERTIGO || CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER ONE • CHAPTER TWO • CHAPTER THREE
Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader x Yuta
Genre: Angst, Fluff
warnings: none for this chapter
Plot: what happens when you feel like a failure yet again like always and you’re not enough in a new city and accidentally meet a stranger who is broken himself but changes your life along with his own by a short encounter near the Vancouver river
————————————————
You woke up as the sun’s rays entered your room peeking through the blinds. You look outside and notice its a pretty clear and bright day and decide to get ready and take a stroll around the city since hadn’t done that since you’ve gotten here so taking a stroll seems a perfect idea on a bright Saturday.
Its been a month and the thought of him has almost completely slipped your head.
Things have been going almost too normal for your liking now that you’ve been completely used to being here and have successfully established a routine and are kinda used to your current neighbourhood.
Walking around the city while you put your earphones on while you played idle town by Conan Gray, you felt tired and decided to have a coffee at a coffee shop in Cambie Street.
You enter the place and smell strong coffee grounds, the whole shop has a brick and mahogany themed interior and it compliments each other too well. You order a Grande French Press and a cheese croissant and wait for your order to arrive at a table near the window while your were tapping your fingers against the mahogany surface in front of you . You notice a guy with kinda long messy hair the kind of messy which is effortless yet perfect through the reflection in the glass, looking in your direction but you shook your thoughts away to sit somewhere else. When you’re almost about to be done you hear someone come near your table and you look in their direction and here he was, the messy hair guy from the reflection. You now have a clearer view of his face and he’s absolutely breathtaking. His pink plump lips, pretty long face and his eyes, his pretty, big, shiny eyes; he brings you back into reality by asking “Is this seat taken?”
“No” you reply nonchalantly.
He sits down opposite to you and smiles, “I’m Yuta, I’m new around here and you are pretty”
Oh my god his smile oof. You shook your head and reply, “Hah no I’m Y/N”
He tries to make small talks during the whole conversation and you are torn between rejecting his efforts and giving in because of your trust issues and commitment issues and maybe, maybe because of Mark. Mark? Mark isn’t coming back again probably, you don’t even know anything about him, why is your mind taking that train all over again? You try to shook away his thoughts and come back to present when he asks for your number and you give it away to him partly because you regret not giving it to Mark and whats the harm in having new friends Or trying something new?
He gets up saying he has to go somewhere with his friend and then asks you if you’re free this Saturday night with the same pretty smile and invites you to a stupid frat party to which you agree to go.
He waves in the direction of someone and as you turn around you see HIM, his head was down but recognise that hair, that body,. Just when you had lost all the hopes of seeing him again and accidentally meeting him again somewhere in the city or in the uni, you see him and he sees you. This was one of those things you didn’t expect to happen but it did.
MARK’S POV
I was walking straight while looking down and I smelled someone familiar and all the chimes in my head started chiming, I was pretty sure this can’t be but I gather all my courage and look up and I see her, the same sad eyes with a plastered smile on her face, the same sense of darkness and warmth but something was different. I noticed how she had cut her hair really short and how she wasn’t dressed casually in a white t-shirt and a loose jeans but was wearing a white shirt with trousers and a brown trench coat. I almost didn’t recognise her from the behind. I couldnt help and give her a widened eye face as she did the same but damn she was beautiful, so beautiful.
I heard Yuta introducing us to each other, “Mark this is y/n, She’s gonna be there on Saturday for the party and y/n this is Mark my best friend, well I just met him when I moved here but he’s the one” he laughs saying that.
Y/n goes ahead and pretends that she never met you and I go along with it because I didn’t wanna destroy Yuta’s hopes and well she probably wanted to go out with him too and why am I even making a big deal out of the whole situation? Its not like we had something anyway. We part ways with her and I cannot help but think of her and was trying to focus on what Yuta was saying but I couldn’t. I told myself that I should be happy for my friend and he’s better than me anyway and at least not a loser like me who got all Emo when he first met her.
Yu-Yuta San-
A fic about Vancouver?!? As a Vancouver nctzen this makes me happy
Well I’m originally not from Vancouver but I’ve been there a couple of times because some people from my family live there and I really love that place and I wanted to try something different so I wrote the fic based on the city :) also this is the first “comment” I’ve ever recieved on this page so I’m all emo 🥺✌🏻
Well I posted twice in a day and that’s a miracle but vertigo’s chapter 2 is out and I feel uneasy about it because it’s too much angst idk but also it was an important chapter for the whole story and plot and it was important to address her situation properly and also I was listen to
While writing both the chapters and kinda even got the inspiration to start writing it bc of this song
VERTIGO || CHAPTER ONE • CHAPTER TWO
Pairing: MARK LEE X READER
Warnings: angst, a lot of it, mental trauma, anxiety, mentions of death (Not of the main characters obviously) just a lot of angst
Plot: what happens when you feel like a failure yet again like always and you’re not enough in a new city and accidentally meet a stranger who is broken himself but changes your life along with his own by a short encounter near the Vancouver river
Authors note: This chapter is mainly focused of y/n and her life before she moved and the reason why she was there crying so yeah get ready
———————————————————
It’s been exactly a week since your encounter with Mark and for some reason you regret just running off like that from him and maybe y’all could really be friends. You wonder if you’d be on his mind just like he is on yours. You’ve nearly settled in your new tiny apartment and your new university, but it still gets lonely because you really don’t talk to anyone and really avoid any unnecessary interactions with people because of your anxiety and you don’t really feel the need to put yourself out there. You kinda do feel homesick and miss the place you used to live before moving here but then you remind yourself of how judged you’d feel there and how almost everyone felt familiar and how much you wanted to escape all of it and how much of a dream it was to get accepted into UBC was to you.
You were always asked why you wanted to get accepted to UBC and why you wanted to live in Vancouver. You always wanted to live here with your grandma, you lived with her until you were 13 and your parents finally got time off their schedule to realise they even have a daughter along with a younger son. Since the beginning your parents were busy working and building their empire while you lived with your grandma. Then your brother was born and instantly became everyone’s favourite, while your grandma would make you believe that there’s nothing as such until you moved back with your parents and realised how you dint really fit with them and would get very excited for holidays so that you could go back and spend time with her until you got a news when you were 16 that she had passed away.
You still remember in how much of a denial you were into until one night after 8 months since that day it all hit you like an avalanche and you made up your mind to work hard and get here.
You never really would fit in anywhere, you had friends somedays and somedays you didn’t. You always craved affection because you didn’t receive it from your family or anyone else really. You had dated guys in high school and nothing really ever worked, in the it was always you and your darkness alone. You were silently good at academics and really pretty and people would try to talk to you but then disappear maybe after getting to know you. And you’d always wonder what was really wrong with you but you were too used to it too. You recall your mother always pointing out your flaws and it made you very insecure about yourself. You never found yourself worth it, worth a shot or worth anything really. You just wanted to escape it all and you thought coming here might help.
It did help until one night you went to an old French patisserie where you’d go with your only best friend when you were little and you sat there ordered something and enjoyed it until you realised she’s not coming back and how pathetic you felt about it and how suddenly everything started hurting all of a sudden and you started running, running away from everything; the pain, the misery, all the taunts, the comments, whispers and you stopped near a ledge from which you could spot faint lights and you met Mark. And maybe you feel like you’re over exaggerating everything but for the first time in a long time you felt alive, you felt a bit of happiness and you got the reassurance that it’ll be fine and you’ve been doing it all alone but you were too afraid to get attached to him. So you left, left before you started feeling anything else.
Vertigo || series masterlist
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4 (recent update)
VERTIGO || CHAPTER ONE • CHAPTER TWO
Pairings: Mark Lee x reader
Warnings, genre: Fluff, angst, mentions of cheating, mental abuse, trauma
Plot: what happens when you feel like a failure yet again like always and you’re not enough in a new city and accidentally meet a stranger who is broken himself but changes your life along with his own by a short encounter near the Vancouver river
AUTHORS NOTE: I’m sorry if you spot any mistakes in grammar or in my writing in general, also I’m trying to make it detailed but it’s based on a city i had visited 6 years ago, so please excuse me and you can always text me personally if you wanna enquire or be friends with me :) I’ll try my hard to keep y’all updated
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Standing in an empty space from where you can see an unknown river of this foreign city, still unable to process what the fuck is going on and how the fuck did you get here and why the fuck are you here in the first place. You realise warm salty droplets falling from your eyes and running nose in a very windy fall night. The city lights can be seen from far away and you’re sobbing, trying to let all the emotions you are feeling out; pity, guilt, regret, feeling of not ever being enough. Here you are standing alone in a city you recklessly came to just to escape your past and all the pain and memories of your previous life but you didn’t expect everything to come down crashing like this on you. Still unable to process and think straight, you feel a stranger’s presence next to you, you try to ignore his presence and not look at your side when he comes and stands next to you not uttering a word, too afraid that you’ll shatter like a glass if he does. You try to steady your breathe and calm yourself down feeling a pang of embarrassment as you feel his eyes on you while you just stare at the sky. You finally collect yourself and look at him, you can see a slight tint or worry along with sadness in his eyes. He’s wearing a grey hoodie along with a light washed jeans and silver rimmed round glasses, his eyes reflect innocence and faint glint of city lights visible on his glasses.
You can see he’s trying hard to come up with something to say that won’t offend you or make you feel even more in pain than you already are, while you just stand there still unsure of what to do.
“Rough Day?” He finally summons courage and says
You just let out a sarcastic chuckle and reply “the worst maybe”
“Wanna talk?” He says trying to ease the heavy air
- “And what makes you think I’ll just talk to a random stranger about the things that don’t make sense to me at all?”
- “Sometimes you gotta let it all out instead of taking all of it alone and well you asked why would you vent to a stranger? Simple: because I don’t know shit about you and you don’t know shit about me either and Id listen to it without judging and be on your side after listening to it because well again I dont know anything about you” he shrugs
- “uhm…. you got a point but now I don’t feel like talking about it” you flash a sarcastic smile
- “Aye come on, don’t do this I don’t know why but I’m curious now and I can still see that you’re sad about some things”
- “Well first tell me what are you doing here at midnight alone?”
- “Well I couldn’t sleep and was missing someone who doesn’t give a shit about me anymore”
- “Girl problem?”
- “Well actually my ex, a very messy break up, she cheated on me and I found out about it by a friend so yeah came here for some air because my apartment has too much of her essence in there.”
- “Oh” is all that you can manage to say then suddenly you both fall quiet and he breaks it by introducing himself “Anyway I’m Mark and you are?”
- “Y/n, I’m new here. Moved a week ago to escape a very idk weird past? And well had a breakdown in front of an unknown guy thinking of the uncertainty of future and the regrets of past”
- “Well you need new friends”
- “No I need a more stable mental health lol” you caught him off-gaurd by saying that
- “Damn” he said awkwardly not knowing how to react
- “Anyway its getting colder, I should head back, ’twas nice meeting you and I really feel less like a shit thanks to you” with that you start walking away from him
Down In Dust chapter 2
PAIRINGS: READER X SEHUN, READER X YIXING
GENRE: DRAMA AND ANGST (YIXING BFF, HUSBAND SEHUN AU)
WARNINGS:
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Please have mercy on me if something is off or you see mistakes because its really my first time writing anything
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“Sehun, this is Y/N my best friend since literally high school”
“Y/N this is Sehun, the new hot guy in the office I told you about”
Your eyes widen And Sehun starts giggling.
You three keep having small conversations about people around and the party when someone calls Yixing from behind leaving Sehun and you alone.
“SHITTTTTT WE’RE ALONE TOGETHER NOW SHITTTT”, you thought to yourself
“So, Yixing calls me ‘the new hot guy’ and talks about me in front of his beautiful best friend? I feel honored!” Sehun said bringing you back from your thoughts.
You rolled your eyes and say, “Yeah sometimes like half of the time I don’t even pay attention to him when he’s talking about his ‘office’ because I find those talks really boring as I really don’t know what goes on there and I really don’t know anyone there except you and the tall girl with bangs,,, Lisa I guess and this really chaotic intern,, Lucas? Yeah thats it I think.”
“Is that how he describes everyone?” He giggles again
“Yeah, he thinks I can picture them easily that way.”
“Yixing is a good person, I mean he’s younger than me but still a senior because Im new but I always feel like he treats me like a friend in office too. It’s just been like a month or so since I joined you know”
“Oh, but yeah I can agree to that one. He really is a very warm hearted person”
“Enough of us, Now tell me something about yourself, Y/N”
“Uhm there’s nothing much to say about me but uh- I work as a head chef at a restaurant , its not like a huge one or something but yeah I love what I do and I love literature and music a lot too”
“So what are you doing on Saturday?”, he asks you out of nowhere
“Uhm not really sure, why?”, you play dumb.
He starts stuttering, “ mhm, I— I was thinking- we we could like could get some - din-dinner? Like casually like its totally fine if you don’t wanna I mean I understand- you know like uhh… mhm.”
You cut him off whilst asking, “What time?”
“Huh?”, he furrows his brows.
“The dinner? Saturday?”
“Oh yeah that uhm I’ll pick you up at seven?”
“Sounds cool.” You then see Yixing coming back to where you both were standing
The ride to your place with Yixing was really just about random people here and there and of the party when he finally asks you, “So what were the both of you talking about mhm?” You try to act normal and tell him about your date with him and the whole thing
“I highly knew it” he shrugs and starts laughing
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And that was how the both of y’all met
You remember how exactly the both of you met and fell in love and got engaged and married. You remember everything and you even remember how he just started to drift away from you by saying,”This week will be a busy one” ; every other week and the both of you endlessly fighting over the fact that he’s never got time for you .
You hear the keys jingling and the door knob turning and it was pretty obvious that Sehun was home. You peep out of your shared bedroom and look at his extremely pale face, he looked like he hasn’t slept for months. He didn’t come home last night; what is he doing at this hour? You realise you were standing on your room’s door now and staring at him while he was staring back and it it got weird and awkward after sometime and you looked away to try to find the right words to say something but you couldn’t, thats when you see tears in his eyes and it gets you.
You haven’t seen him crying ever, never in these five years you’ve seen him in tears. You start walking towards him to pull him into a hug and he starts sobbing into your hair and you feel your heart breaking and thats when he says, “I failed you y/n, I think I failed you” and you don’t know what to say but after hearing those words you start crying too and after some time Sehun manages to open his mouth to explain it to you again and he says, “Y/N I wanna tell you something but I can’t find the courage or the right words to do so but I can’t do this whole thing anymore, I don’t know y/n I’m all over the place; I’m just failing at work and theres this awful thing that happened that shouldn’t have happened two months ago and I’m failing you too I’m just a huge failure.”
You try to comprehend and understand the words he just said and the situation. “Sehun I’m here, listening and not judging you at all, its okay if you don’t wanna tell me about it right now or never at all, I understand and you don’t need to stress yourself like this and pus yourself this hard and try this hard. Your face is so pale Sehun didn’t you sleep at all last night? Where were you? Why didn’t you come home?” You question him.
“Do you think a person can love two people at the same time?”
I think the next chapter of Down in Dust will be out next week or so
also I'm really grateful for everyone who liked it, its my first time writing and ilysm xx
DOWN IN DUST MASTERLIST
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3