yuuta's first experience with paranoia and jealousy.
cw: angst. insecurity. jealousy. gojo mentioned briefly. not proof read!
a/n: i lowkey wrote this instead of sleeping. i tried something new and idk if i like it. i might make a second part.
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the first time yuuta noticed it, you were asleep beside him.
moonlight spilled through the blinds of your dorm window, illuminating your face whilst soft music echoed quietly from your phones speaker. the room smelled faintly like rain and your laundry detergent.
yuuta should have been asleep too.
instead—he was staring at the ceiling with a familiar tightness in his chest—because your phone kept lighting up.
buzz.
buzz.
buzz.
he tried ignoring it—but after the fourth notification, his eyes drifted towards the screen automatically—and suddenly his thoughts spiralled somewhere ugly.
who keeps texting this late?
why didn’t you mention them?
why do they need you at 2 a.m.?
yuuta shut his eyes hard, trying to shut those thoughts out. he hated this feeling. he hated how jealousy crawled beneath his skin. he hated how quickly his mind jumped to conclusions.
paranoia.
that’s what gojo called it. "a side effect of caring too much." he had joked.
but this didn’t feel funny.
it felt suffocating.
you shifted in your sleep beside him, turning toward him subconsciously. your hand brushing against his arm, fingers curling around his shirt even in your sleep. your nose nuzzling against the underside of his jaw.
yuuta’s chest ached as he observed the peaceful expression on your face.
because you loved him. and all he could think about was whether you would stop one day.
warnings: established relationship, angst (mid), mentions of gambling and gaslight
Dating Yuta had been proven to be quite a challenge. Sure, he was very sweet and quite a protective boyfriend as well but everything he seemed to be through screen or through your friends eyes, were but a lie.
The main reasons for your fights were that he was too controlative, too manly, too macho, too alpha. He couldn't understand that you were your own person and that you had your own needs and goals. He could be quite selfish, and of course his behaviors would always annoy you.
Yuta had a way of carrying himself, a way that was so almighty. He liked to flash people about how much money he had, about how much fame he had and all the successful things that he were able to achieve. But you knew the truth. You knew the truth behind the glitter and the spotlight.
Yuta had nothing. Besides a terrible gambling addiction that had sucked his money and left you taking care of all of his needs. In reality you were the one supporting him financially and emotionally, paying off his debts and pushing through your jobs to make sure no scandal would stain his image.
But fuck, Yuta loved to stepped out of boundaries. Whenever he flashed that arrogant smile in front of others, or when he would tell everyone at the bar that he was paying for your drinks, you couldn't help but feel anger. You were the one paying for it. not him. Although you didn't mind him using you like this, you didn't want him to push your limits.
After you had paid for those drinks and you both went back home, you had fallen silent. Yuta had tried to hold your hand, joke and tease you, but you weren’t having it.
“Why are you being so bitchy about?” he finally said a little bit frustrated
“maybe because my boyfriend keeps using me as if i was the goddamn bank!” you yelled back, throwing your purse on top of the shared table. “Don’t you understand? you have been spending my money recklessly when I am already struggling to pay off your debts!”
Yuta groaned, rubbing his neck. “our money” he pointed out which made you roll your eyes. “And relax. It was just one drink”
“It was 40 dollars worth of shots Yuta”
Your boyfriend noticed that you were not backing down, so he hummed. He came to your side, gently grabbing you by your waist and pulling you close. A soft kiss was planted on your temple.
"I hate that we keep having these fights, it's tearing me apart." he murmured, mastering all of his manipulation into his velvety words. You looked away, but he held your chin. “Baby I need you.. you know i need you.”
“You need me, but you don't love me Yuta '' looking into your eyes, a sad smile designed to his lips.
“That’s not true..”
Yuta knew what he was doing. of course he knew. It didn't matter that he had to crawl at you like a poor peasant, it didn't matter that he had to beg at you privately. As long as you kept by his side and provided for him, he would say. But you were right. He didn't love you. But he needed you, if he wished to keep his lifestyle.
Segundamente, vc poderia escrever com o Yuta?? Eu gostaria q fosse uma fic inspirada na musica Insegurança - Grupo Pixote.
Pixote · Song · 2019
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗰̧𝗮 -𝗬𝘂𝘁𝗮
notas: oie! espero que não tenha desistido de mim, me perdoa pela demora mas fiz com carinho esse pedido hein! tô meio sem prática mas logo vem coisas melhores! feliz ano novo e beijos da mimi!
gênero: meio angst; fluffy
avisos: menção à insegurança no relacionamento e crise de ansiedade.
Você caminhava pelo tapete, desconfortável com a respiração irregular, com a tremedeira no corpo, e sentia que não conseguia se acalmar. Ligou a TV para abafar o som de seu choro incessante a fim de não acordar seu namorado que dormia tranquilamente sobre a cama de vocês, no entanto, ele sabia que havia algo errado quando passou a mão para o lado esquerdo da cama e o sentiu vazio.
Yuta se levantou silenciosamente, coçando os olhos pesados de sono. Quando chegou no corredor, conseguiu ouvir os seus soluços enquanto continuava caminhando em círculos. O japonês foi se aproximando de você, a envolvendo nos braços e assim você foi parando de andar.
O calor do corpo de Yuta foi te acalmando até que você voltasse a respirar melhor, o coração foi desacelerando mesmo com aquele aperto no peito. Se sentaram no sofá, a mão dele foi até seu cabelo o afagando, tudo isso em silêncio, apenas com o som da TV no fundo. Ele preferiu esperar você se sentir confortável para contar o que havia te deixado tão aflita.
Mas você estava envergonhada. Como Yuta reagiria ao saber que você estava insegura com o relacionamento? Não é como se você não confiasse nele ou duvidasse do sentimento dele, nada disso, mas veja só: Yuta é bonito, é inteligente, um grande cavalheiro, muito brincalhão, tem uma personalidade muito atraente. Ele é perfeito. Quem não se apaixonaria por ele? Mas a questão é: Quem se apaixonaria por você?
Você ultimamente se sentia cabisbaixa, não o suficiente para Yuta. Ele era tão bom, um príncipe, perfeito demais, ou como alguns inconvenientes costumavam dizer "ele era muita areia para o seu caminhãozinho". Você sabe que Yuta não pensa o mesmo, mas isso não diminui a sua aflição. Por fim, mais descansada, decide falar:
— Desculpa... — você diz baixinho, com o rosto escondido contra o pescoço dele. O cheiro de Yuta é tão bom, te acalma tanto...
— Não precisa se desculpar, amor... quando se sentir melhor para me dizer o que houve, pode me contar. Não vou te pressionar. — ele sorri para te reconfortar enquanto acaricia seu cabelo, fazendo um cafuné gostoso.
— É só que eu tenho medo... medo de que você me deixe. — você sussurra com a voz um pouco embargada, sentindo que iria chorar de novo a qualquer momento.
— Te deixar por quê? Tu é minha mulher, princesa... — Yuta te puxa mais para perto deixando um beijo no topo da sua cabeça. — Eu notei que você tá meio triste esses dias, e olha... eu só quero dizer que tô contigo pra sempre. Eu te amo, bebê.
Nessa hora seu coração se aquece, aquele aperto no peito se afrouxa. Seus olhinhos marejados brilham com as palavras dele e você admira aquele sorriso que a conforta tanto, que a faz tão feliz.
— Também te amo, Nayu... — você sorri minimamente e o abraça mais ainda, com mais intensidade.
Você sabe que insegurança não some assim do nada, mas que pode trabalhar isso, e Yuta é o homem que vai te provar todos os dias que você é o suficiente e ainda muito mais para ele.
Warnings: mafia! Yuta x sly and innocent reader smut, giving head(m receiving), hair pulling, face fcking degration, overstimulation, orgasm, pet names (princess reader gets called slut 3 times blah blah that all folks
Summary: you went out with your friends without telling your mafia boyfriend Yuta or sharing your location because you guys got into a argument but that’s ok cause he has eye’s everywhere so it doesn’t take that long for him to find you dancing with some random guy 🫣
A/N: I think i had to much fun with this story I might make a series about this one I think but I like Yuta mafia stories they are just so…ENTERTAINING😏 and I really hope I did a good job on this one and I’ll be doing tag lists if you guys want too:)
ENJOYYYYY😏😏😏
It all started when you and Yuta got into a fight on the phone because he said he couldn’t make it to movie night and he was sorry, this was the fourth time he canceled on you and you were sick of so while he was talking you hanged up in his face “asshole” you mumbled under your breath you walk into you guys closet to find you a dress until you came across yutas favorite dress that you wore on you guys first night it was short and it showed a lot of cleavage you had told your friends you changed your mind about going with them, you grabbed your purse and made your way to your friends car that was parked outside you and Yuta house, “OMG Y/N YOU LOOK SO GOOD” one of your friends said “thank you” you say, once you guys made into the club it was kinda loud and you liked it, you started dancing on the dance floor with some guy he had his hands on your waist if Yuta was here and he this he woulda killed the guy and oh boy he was, he was watching the whole scene unfold right in front of him
He was literally seeing red he started to walk up to you and the guy and grabbed your wrist and pulled you beside him he was squeezing your wrist so hard that you swear it would leave a mark tomorrow “ow Yuta” you said to him looking up at him “don’t fucking ow me you slut” Yuta said “let go of her man” the rando said to Yuta, but Yuta didn’t instead he punched the dude and walked out of the club pulling you by your wrist he pushed you into the car and walked over to the driver seat and started the car, he was still seeing red, you knew that dancing with some other guy would piss him off and get his attention but you kinda felt bad do the dude that got punched and you really wanted to say sorry but Yuta pulled you out the club before you could say anything else
“Your in big trouble slut” Yuta said to you as he’s pulling into the driveway you look at him with innocent eyes “why?” You said you knew why and you wanted this to happen you liked when he did you rough until you had tears coming down your you’re face “don’t fucking act innocent” you both go out the car and when you do hes already pulling you by your wrist again, he sits on the couch while your standing in front of him “take it off” you didn’t waste no time taking your dress of course you liked how he demanded you take it off “sit on your knees” he spreads his legs and you don’t take no time doing that either, you put your hand on his bulge and starts rubbing bulge through his pants you look up at him with those sweet innocent eyes
“Fuck” he curses you pulled his pants and briefs down enough to release his fully hard cock out you felt arousal pooling in your stomach you were already wet from the start and he knew that, you started sucking his tip your about touch your wet cunt until he slaps your hand away and you hiss at the contact, you start taking him all the way in your mouth he grunts when you do you slowly go up and down until he bucks his hips up and grips your hair and starts fucking your face as he does this tears are brimming your eyes and you mascara is messy but you like it he fucks your face a few more times until he cums in your mouth “sallow” he says you sallow is cum and shows him how your mouth has no cum in it “get up” you get up from off the floor your knees red and hurting you knew it would leave some kind of mark tomorrow
He pulls you down on his dick without any kind of practice, he holds your hips in and starts fucking into he grips your hips tightly as you moan his name “y-Yuta” you said your brain was turning into mush as he was fucking into your cunt “you like that slut?” He said instead of answering you nodded quickly he slaps your ass “use your words” he says “y-yes” you say as your trying your best not to cum then and there “I-I’m going to cum” that earns you a slap to your cunt, you moan his name at the contact “don’t you dare cum yet” you trying your best, tears coming down your cheeks (face) after a few minutes “can I cum Yuta” you say in half moan and he smirks “cum for me princess” so you cummed he starts to slow down to let you ride out your high he was almost there and after a few fucks he cums inside of you “have you learned your lesson y/n?” He says raising a eyebrow at you “y-yes Yuta” you mumbled “wanna take a bath and then watch a movie?” He says you two happily go into the bath and watched that movie
characters: mafia boss! Yuta Nakamoto x innocent! florist! reader
summary: While running away, you seemed to be moving closer to the man you were avoiding. Are you even heading to the right direction?
chapter word count: 5.4k words
chapter genre: super heavy angst
chapter warning: crying, death, gun, knife, blood, mental health, pills, nightmares, breaking up, major CHARACTER DEATHs
a/n: Sorry for the super late update and the last chapter plot twist. Please believe me when I say that I love Mark and his character. It was actually planned ever since in the beginning so yeah. I'm sorry. Also, apologies for this chapter. This is dark. Please prepare your heart for the worst.
A boyish smile. The typical college boy next door. A man who adores flowers and knows the meaning behind them.
Mark Lee.
Momo’s uncle. Yuta’s left-hand man. The future successor of the Nakamoto group. A friend you would always greet and would always smile at.
A friend you killed.
You gasped for breath, sitting up. Everything was dark. The same darkness from your dream.
Mark was standing in front of you, blood dripping from his lips. The steel of the gun felt cold on your fingertips.
A friend you killed.
“No!” You shouted, covering your ears to prevent that voice from ringing in your head. “Mark is alive. I didn’t kill him.”
The door opened, light from the hallway almost foreign in the dark. “Y/N.” the male voice called, holding your shoulders to calm you down.
You raised your head to look at him, tears springing from your eyes. “I didn’t kill Mark, right?” you asked. The guy only looked at you with worry in his eyes “Please say something, Jaehyun.” Your voice came in louder, fisting the front of his medical robe in desperation.
The doctor stared at you, breathing heavily as if he was already exhausted. “Y/N, Mark fooled everyone. He betrayed everyone.” His voice was quiet. “He planned all of these.”
You shook your head. Mark is kind and very soft-spoken. He’s smart but he cannot pull off something like this. He cannot do this kind of thing.
Scenes from what happened that day flashed in your mind like an action movie. Momo tied in a dark and empty room whispering ‘Uncle’. The scent of oleanders. Kyoko being shot by Yuta in front of you. And Mark holding Momo in his arms.
Then Mark was standing in front of you, blood dripping from his lips. Gun cold in your fingertips.
You didn’t know what reality is from the nightmares. You weren’t sure if which of the scenes in your mind were real or just nightmares.
You just wanted everything to stop.
Jaehyun handed you white small pills. “It's just a nightmare Y/N,” he claimed then handed you a glass of water which you took. “Just take these and take a rest.” You complied before he continued, “I’ll ask Dr. Moon to see you tomorrow.”
“Who is that?”
“The chief of the psychiatry department.”
“Jaehyun, I’m not crazy.”
“I’m not saying you are.”He took the glass of water and returned it to the bedside table. “But you clearly need someone to talk to. Someone who knows what to do and what to say.” He asked you to lay down on the bed and pulled the blanket to cover your shoulders. “Do you want me to call Yuta?”
You shook your head, feeling the tiredness of your eyes. “No, please don’t.” You closed your eyes, your body already feeling tired.
Everything returned to pitch black but you can hear Jaehyun's voice in your trance saying, “She’s asleep.”
The smell of lavender filled the air. Momo, in her white dress, was standing in the middle of lavender fields. “Unnie,” she greeted with a wide smile which was easily replaced by a frown. Her dress started showing a splotch of red that came from her chest. “Unnie, what did you do?” She asked, crouching down while grasping her chest for dear life.
You looked down at your bloody hands and a knife in your hand.
“Y/N, what did you…?” You turned around to push the same knife on Jaehyun’s abdomen. “Y/N,” he called before you pushed the knife deeper. Blood started dripping from his lips. His pale skin turned paler as he fell on the ground, drowning in his own blood.
You saw Yuta looking at you with a lot of fright in his eyes before you pointed the gun in his direction. “I’ll kill you for making me miserable.”
A gunshot.
And you sat up drenched in sweat. You gazed at your shaking hands with tubes attached to the back of your palm.
Maybe you are indeed crazy.
Doctor Moon Taeil is someone you didn’t expect from a psychiatrist. He’s super smiley and you were even convinced that Jaehyun is just messing with you by setting up this appointment. His office is filled with glass. One side oversees the tall buildings outside while the opposite side shows the reflection of his office. For the first time in maybe days, you saw yourself. You look terrible. Worse than when Sophie…
“So tell me about Mark.” The doctor in front of you casually asked. “What was he like?”
Mark has a boyish smile. The typical college boy next door. Mark adores flowers and knows the meaning behind them. Mark is Momo’s uncle and Yuta’s left-hand man. Mark is a friend.
“A friend who killed Sophie.” You blurted out loud. “Mark killed Sophie.” You found out about that fact from Doyoung when he accidentally shared it with Jaehyun inside your hospital room. The CCTV from the opposite establishment caught Mark coming into the hotel at the estimated time of Sophie’s death. The policeman listed him as one of the possible suspects first but knowing that you trust him, he took Mark’s name off the list. “And he’s coming after me.”
The bright red letters of blood came to you. You’re next YN. “Mark wants to kill me.”
Taeil tapped his pen on the clipboard. “You do realize that Mark is dead, right?” He claimed that made you look at him. “He cannot hurt you anymore.”
“Am I the one who killed him?”
The man in front of you didn’t say anything. The cheerfulness in his aura annoyed you. He should be serious about this. He should be mad at you for killing a person. A friend. The quietness made the thoughts swirl in your head. Mark. A friend you killed.
Mark who killed Sophie because of you.
Sophie, your friend, who was brutally murdered because of you.
You killed a person. You were the reason why someone was killed.
You held both hands on your ears, covering them to stop the voices from coming and haunting you.
You killed a person. You were the reason why someone was killed.
“I killed a person,” You blurted out loud, covering your ears repeatedly as tears sprung from your eyes. “I was the reason why someone was killed.”
You hated how the man in front of you remained cheerful despite your crying. You looked pathetic. You looked terrible. You were ugly crying in front of a man you just met.
“Doctor, please save me.” You desperately begged. “I just want my normal life back.”
You didn’t even know how long you stayed in the hospital or how long you are going to stay. Even if you leave, you realized, you didn’t know where to go or what to do. Your dad is gone. Sophie is gone. You have no one.
Jaehyun sometimes visits in the morning or night to check on you. Mama would visit, either with Aeri or Lexi. They would always ask you how you were and how was your relationship with Yuta which you wouldn't answer. “You’ve never seen him at all?”
You shook your head. Jaehyun would beg you to meet Yuta or Momo since, as he claimed, they were begging to see you. Yet you cannot bear to see them. Not after killing a part of their family.
You’re scared to see Mark’s niece broken. You killed the only memory of her mom. She had lost a lot of important people in her life even at such a young age. Your dad was the reason why Momo’s parents were killed. How dare you show yourself in front of her when you killed another important person in her life?
You’re scared to see Yuta mad at you. Mark was his only ticket to get away from the life he wanted to run from and you ruined that. Yuta is in this mess because of your dad, because of you.
You were the reason why innocent lives were killed; Sophie and Kyoko. You killed someone they trust. You killed a person.
And it’s not impossible that you cannot do it again.
Jaehyun handed you another white pill after all your crying, a glass of water ready by the bedside table. He was talking to someone on the phone and when he averted his gaze away from you, you hid the white tablet in your blanket and pretended to take it. He only nodded when you returned the empty glass on the bedside table and tucked yourself to lay down. He removed the phone from his ears, closing the lights of the room. “Take some rest, Y/N. I’ll check on you later.”
You didn’t know why you didn’t take that white pill. But feeling the effects of the lack of the pill in your body, you easily assumed that it was a sleeping pill. All this time Jaehyun has been dousing you with drugs to make you sleep. And maybe you should just take it. Every time you close your eyes, the image of Sophie’s body in the morgue, Kyoko’s smirk, and Mark dropping on the ground was all you can see. Momo grasping her bloody chest in the middle of lavender fields, Jaehyun with a knife on his abdomen, and Yuta’s look of fright flashed in your mind. You really should take the sleeping pills.
But even before you could stand up to open the light and locate the white pill you hid on your blanket, the door opened that startled you. You pretended to sleep as you heard footsteps approaching your room. The small light by the table opened and you can hear some rustling in the background. There was a smell of lilies. Someone is changing the flowers in the vase from your room.
So that is why there’s a different flower each day.
But who would even do this? Jaehyun? He doesn’t look like he likes flowers. The only people you know who like flowers are Sophie and Mark.
The footsteps became louder before you could even choke on a sob at the thought. The person circled your bed before stopping in front of you. You felt the hair covering your face being brushed to the side. “I miss you.” You prevent yourself from shedding a tear. You knew that voice. His warm hands held yours, kissing the back of your palm. “I miss you, Y/N.” He put your hand on his cheek, kissing the heel of your palm. “I don’t know what to do. I miss you, love.”
His voice has two sides you’re accustomed to: the scary, loud one from when he’s mad partnered by his cold, dark eyes, and the soft, raspy one from when he’s whispering sweet words from you paired with his gentle chocolate eyes. Now, you discovered a third kind of voice. Broken. Sobbing. You can feel the tears on his cheek in your fingertips as he keeps on whispering that he misses you.
You wanted to open your eyes, to hold him and hush him. But doing that would only make everything worse. You don’t want to hurt him. You don’t want to hurt anyone.
You cannot do this.
Mama was right. Sophie was right.
You’re not meant for this. You cannot be in Yuta’s world.
If you want to leave his world, you should learn to take care of yourself first. Jaehyun was startled when you refused to take the white pills and started to sleep normally. You talked to Dr. Moon about all the things bothering you without crying. You started to notice the little things around you: the vase of fresh flowers in the morning and the closed window.
On your way to see Dr. Moon, you also noticed how the glass in his office was one-way. That someone can see you talking to him from outside. Your gaze cannot get away from the thought of who is watching you from the outside so when the doctor asked, “What is it that you badly want, Y/N?”, you didn’t hesitate in answering,
“My old life back.” You gazed at the floor. “Waking up in the morning and cooking breakfast for my dad. Working in the flower shop with Sophie and going home to make dinner for my dad.” The tears welled in your eyes.
“My life before he came.”
With the psychiatric clearance, you were discharged from the hospital. You cannot go to your old house since you know that it was loaned to another mafia group so the only option you have left is Sophie’s apartment.
Kim Doyoung was the one who brought you to Sophie’s place and it was your chance to clear what he knows about Mark Lee. He did share that what you heard was correct and Kyoko wasn’t even involved in Sophie’s murder. When you asked him the question bugging your mind, “I killed a person. Why aren’t you arresting me?” He didn’t hesitate to give you his honest answer.
“Because your boyfriend asked to let it slide.” You gave him a confused look, “Miss Y/N, you have to understand that the mafia holds the police force in a chokehold. We cannot intrude with anything related to the mafia.” So the only thing preventing you from going to prison is Yuta and his connections? Why does it feel so morally wrong? “And personally, even if he wants to open the case, you’ll likely be acquitted.”
The apartment was the same as when you left it except the flowers are already wilted and it doesn’t smell like Sophie’s place anymore. The place didn’t look this huge before. You felt it when you found out that Sophie was gone. But now that you are very much alone, you realized how huge the place is. You sat on the floor, tears streaming from your face.
You just wanted everything to stop.
You wanted to disappear.
Jaehyun’s white pills aren't doing their job. You were tired of crying and settled on taking some to sleep but there’s no effect. You cannot seem to fall asleep as voices keep ringing in your head. You took one after another but nothing is happening. You went to the kitchen to get some alcohol but there’s nothing inside the fridge. Instead of going to your room, you settled on laying in Sophie’s bed. The robe she wore the night when Yuta and Mark came unannounced was still on the bed.
If that night didn’t happen, Sophie would still be here.
Mark will still be here.
If you didn’t meet Yuta, they would still be here.
You wouldn’t be this miserable. This crazy.
How could the best thing that happened in your life make you the worst person?
You held Sophie’s robe, crying yourself to sleep.
—--
There was a repeated knock on the door, louder each time that passed. You wanted it to stop so you covered your head with the pillow but it only grew louder that annoyed you. Pissed off, you opened the door and were face to face with a man you didn’t expect to see. “I’m sorry I was too late,” he claimed before pulling you in for a hug. You realized how much you yearn for that simple affection that you cried, holding the front of his shirt. “I’m already here. You will never be alone, Y/N.” It was the same thing as what Sophie told you. The same thing Momo had said to you, “And I brought someone you might want to see, my little kitty cat.”
Johnny broke the hug and stepped to the side so that you are entirely in the vision of the man who abandoned you. He was standing on both feet, a look of fright on his features. “Y/N, I’m sorry.” He whispered, “I’m sorry, my daughter.”
You stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him. Crying is for the weak, that was what your father would always tell you. But right now, he let you sob in his arms like a child. Because even if he left you, even if he abandoned you, you’re still your father’s daughter. It’s still him who you need the most in your life.
Your father explained everything. He did work as a gunman and a driver for Mr. Long and Johnny confirmed what Kyoko claimed, that he was the Nakamoto group’s rival. “Mr. Nakamoto was the one who killed your mom, thinking that she was Mr. Long’s wife.” No, you don't want to believe it. “He ordered me to kill the first son to get even.” Your head was aching. You’ve heard this before but you cannot wrap your head around how your life is intertwined with Yuta’s. “I tried to leave you at the Seo’s since I know you’re safer there.” He shot Johnny a look of gratitude, “I ran away because of threats I’ve been receiving.”
“And it all came from the Nakamoto group,” Johnny claimed, showing some papers with faint dried-up blood. “I think Mark is behind all these.” You closed your eyes, trying to make sense of it all. Mark did plan all of these. There’s no doubt that he’s that smart.
“I didn’t know that you'd get involved with the younger Nakamoto.” Your dad stated, “If only I knew, I wouldn’t have left you alone.”
You should have told him. Meeting him is inevitable. But falling in love with him isn't. You should have stopped yourself the first time.
Johnny leaned in, his elbows on his knee while moving closer to you. “I don't know what you intend to do, Y/N, but let's go to Chicago. I wouldn’t associate you with the Seo’s but I’ll take care of you and your dad.”
“Why would you do that, Johnny?”
He smiled. The same smile he showed when he saved you back in elementary school. He really never changed except he had grown mature. “Because I’m taking back the mother title.” Your dad looked at the two of you in confusion.
You should have run away the first time. That was what should have happened.
Why does it have to take lives to fully realize that you are not fit in his world?
Packing was easy because of Johnny’s help. You left Sophie’s apartment and just stayed in a hotel room that Johnny booked. He would always come with you during your visits to Dr. Moon and even confirmed your observation of the one-way glass. “Are you going to say goodbye to Doctor Jung?” Johnny asked while walking in the hallways. You shook your head, you had already said goodbye to him before. “How about Yuta?” You glanced at him, "Do you really not want to see him for the last time?”
You didn’t have that much clothes. How weird that the bag you are using is the same luggage you have when running the first time but while clearing your drawer, you saw something that might bring you to see him.
It’s been weeks since you last came to this luxurious hotel. You don’t even know if he was here to begin with but you wished he wasn’t. You grasped for the phone and the key card as if your courage lies in it. The penthouse was quiet and you were relieved that there was no sign of someone inside. You placed the objects on top of the center table and were about to walk away when a door from one of the rooms opened. Yuta came out wiping his damp hair with a towel. He obviously looked surprised to see you and you contemplated on whether to just stand there or walk away.
You glanced at his phone and key card on the table, grabbing it to show it to him. “I just came to return this. I didn’t know you were here.” You shove the objects his way, looking at the ground. The option to run away seemed like the best choice there is.
He took a step forward, taking the objects from your hand. The tip of his fingers brushed against your skin that you shiver at the warmth it brought you. You really should run away. “Do you want some tea?”
You looked up at him. His eyes showed a lot of emotions at once and you cannot pinpoint what his exact expression was. It was foreign.
This is the perfect chance to run away. So why are you nodding your head and saying yes to his invitation?
The moment felt like deja vu. But with everything that happened in the past days, you weren’t sure if the memory was a dream or a reality. He started filling one jug with hot water as the smell of lilies filled the room. “I don’t have any chamomile but lily tea can relieve headaches.” He slipped the teacup to you before pouring one on his own.
Lily. Yuta told you to use that name if you become a hostess. Innocence. You were always described as that before falling in love with him. Where has that girl gone?
The cup was warm, smoke coming out of the small object in your hands. Your thumb fiddled with the mouth of the cup, trying to clear your mind. “I’m…”
“How…”
You both stopped, a timid smile appearing on your lips. Yuta bit his bottom lip before smiling the same way as you. He rested his elbow on the table and placed his chin on his palm as he stared at you with a lot of warmth in his eyes. Gentle, chocolate gaze. “I thought I wouldn't be able to see you smile again.” You frowned and stared at him in surprise. “Sorry,” he shook his head. “That was…” he stuttered. “Sorry, I just missed you so much.”
You drank the tea in one shot. You hope it can magically change into alcohol and get you drunk. Maybe it would make this less painful for both of you. How can you make this goodbye less painful? “My dad came back.” He didn’t look at least a bit surprised. The sides of your lips curled up. It was weird that Johnny is suddenly here and bringing your dad back. Now, you know why. “We’re going with Johnny to Chicago.” You stared at the empty cup, avoiding his gaze.
You don’t want to see his expression. Didn’t want to see what emotion he was going to show you. “Is that what you want?”
What you want. What is it that you want?
You want to be free from all of these. You want to get back to your life. You want the voices in your head to stop. You wanted your nightmares to stop being your reality.
But, you wanted to be with Yuta.
“Yuta…” You called. Everything was fast. He was standing in front of you, leaning in that his lips were on you. Soft, warm lips devouring yours. His hand was on the back of your head, holding you roughly. His scent and taste filled your senses. But unlike the first time you kissed, tears spring in your eyes.
His breathing was ragged as he stared at you, “It still has the same effect when you call my name.” He placed his forehead on yours, his breath tickling your lips. “When I told you to hurt me, I meant physically. Not this, Y/N.” His hand held your cheek, “I don’t think I can ever take this pain.”
From the close proximity, you saw how tears were forming in his eyes. Round, puppy-like, moist eyes. The third voice. “Do you remember when we drank tea in the mansion before?” His voice came in a broken whisper. “I told you that I want you to leave when in reality, I desperately want you to stay.” Yuta kneeled on the floor, holding both your hands. “Now, I want to beg you to stay.” He said in between choked sobs, tears springing from his eyes. “Knowing full well that I cannot save you. That I cannot protect you.”
His hold on you became tighter as he bowed his head, crying. “I want to be selfish for the last time and beg you to stay.” You tried to avoid looking at him and just focused on the ceiling to prevent the tears from falling, “But I cannot risk your happiness. I don’t want to see you cry, get hurt, or have nightmares because of all of these.”
“I’m sorry for being so weak that I cannot save you.” You shook your head. He’s everything but weak. “I’m sorry for keeping you by my side even if I cannot protect you. I only caused you pain. I’m sorry, Y/N.”
You kept on shaking your head. He knows that’s not the case. But you cannot do this anymore. “Yuta, I’m sorry.” You cried. It’s too late to make this less painful. “I’m sorry I cannot choose you in the end.”
He looked up to gaze at you. His face was stained with tears. If you thought you saw him at his worst then this is something out of the books. Yuta wiped your tears with his thumb, smiling warmly. “I want you to choose yourself this time.”
“Promise me you’ll be happy, Y/N.” You nodded before he pulled you into a warm hug. His hand rested on the back of your head, the other on your back. He held you tight as you only wished the time to stop ticking. Yuta let go of the hug and then stood up, turning around from you. “You should take your leave. It’s late.”
Slowly, you stood up from your chair. “Goodbye, Yuta.”
“Goodbye, Y/N.”
He didn’t turn around and you grasped your chest as you made your way out of his kitchen and into the hallway of his penthouse. You were holding the door handle when you heard sobbing coming from inside. The cries got louder that you quickly pulled the handle and closed the door behind you.
It was the longest elevator ride. Your eyes hurt from too much crying. Your hands shake as Yuta’s warmth can be felt as if it was imprinted on your skin. Your heart hurts so much that you wanted to take it out and just throw it away. When the door opened, Johnny and Jaehyun were both staring at you with question and worry on their faces. You stepped forward and Johnny was quick enough to wrap you in his arms, gently rubbing your back as he let you cry.
You glanced at Jaehyun and he just tapped the top of your head. “Can you check on him?” You asked in between sobs. “He was crying so much it hurts.”
“You’re the real deal, baby.” Jaehyun teased, “Making the almighty mafia boss cry.” You cried much more and heard Johnny hiss at the other man. “What floor is Yuta’s room?” You cried louder.
You didn’t think you could cry that much. You thought the last time you can cry that extreme is when Sophie died. You’re dead wrong about that.
When they said breaking up is painful, they indeed are correct. Saying goodbye is hard but telling the one you love goodbye is the hardest of all. Sometimes you wonder if this was all worth it. Maybe you should get back with Yuta to lessen this pain. But for how long? Will you risk it if you’ll end up getting crazy in the head? And if you find yourself killing Jaehyun, Momo, and even Yuta, can you bear living at all?
Maybe this misery is payment for all the innocent lives you took away.
The airport was the same as when you last came here. It was bustling with the fast-paced crowd. You stared at the plane ticket in your hand, a ticket heading to Chicago. This is it. This is your last chance to stay. Your last chance to choose what your heart really wants. You can run away and leave everything or stay and face all the demons there are.
You felt your phone vibrate, Jaehyun’s number can be seen on the caller ID. “Are you boarding?”
You lightly glanced at the digitized board and saw that you have almost less than an hour before your flight departs. “Not yet.”
There was a sigh of relief from the other line. “Wait for Yuta. He’s on his way to see you.”
“What?” you exclaimed, standing up in surprise which startled both Johnny and your dad. “Why is he coming here?”
Jaehyun chuckled, “Although he let you go, he wants your last memory of him to be the cool one and not that pathetic crying loser.” You giggled although tears were streaming from your eyes. How stupid. “Just let him hug you this last time.” You nodded although he cannot see you. He ended the call, reasoning that someone is calling him on the other line.
Johnny mouthed ‘Are you alright?’ and you nodded, smiling while you wipe your tears. You didn’t know that you’ll cry in happiness. You thought all your tears are for your misery now. Yuta really does wonders for you. The taller guy gave you a heartwarming smile, “I’m glad to see you smiling again, Y/N.” He ruffled the top of your head. “Let’s wait for your prince to come.”
You nodded, hastily wiping the streaming tears. You wanted Yuta to see you smiling when he gets here.
The minutes passing felt agonizing. You kept on tapping your foot, knees shaking in anticipation. You wanted to see Yuta already, wanted to hug him for the last time.
“Passengers boarding flight 0209 heading to Chicago…” The PA from the speakers can be heard that made your friend look at you in worry. Your father went in first but he stayed to accompany you. The last call was made and you gave up. Maybe meeting Yuta is already impossible.
Before you could stand up for boarding, your phone vibrated. Excitedly, you opened Jaehyun’s call but there was an obvious distress in his voice when he called your name. Your heart kept on thumping hard in your chest. Why is he breathing so hard? “Yuta and Momo wanted to see you.” he claimed, voice shaking. “They were in a hurry that they’re speeding.” This doesn’t sound good. “The car fell on a cliff.” No, it can’t be. “It exploded.”
You grasped your phone tight.
This is all a dream, a nightmare. You should have taken the white pills Jaehyun kept on giving you before coming here.
The tears fell from your eyes and Johnny held your shoulder.
Why does he feel warm if this was all a dream? Why is your palm hurting from holding your phone tight?
Why does your heart hurt at what Jaehyun said next?
characters: mafia boss! Yuta Nakamoto x innocent! florist! reader
summary: While running away, you seemed to be moving closer to the man you were avoiding. Are you even heading to the right direction?
chapter word count: 2.1k words
chapter genre: heavy angst, a small fluffy scene
chapter warning: crying, death, dead body, death threat, mention of sexual assault, breaking up, abandoned warehouse, kidnapping, being tied up, pocket knife, gun, gunshot, character deathS
a/n: Sorry for the late update. You can tell that I am debating a lot on whether to continue on this route or not. I am ready to get hate over this but please understand that this is for fiction purposes only. Sorry for the triggers and the sudden plot twist. There could be two chapters left for this AU and the ending will highly depend on the readers.
You have never cried too hard. The last time you cried that much was when your father left you. But now, you’re crying so much in front of your best friend's bloody, dead body. She looked as pretty as ever, only paler.
The police ruled it out as sexual assault gone wrong. That someone entered her hotel room, sexually assaulted her then murdered her. It was a reason that you knew her parents and friends would believe, that anyone would believe.
But it wasn’t the reason you knew.
Kim Doyoung, the policeman who handed you the letter, knew it as well.
Someone purposely killed her. And that someone is after you as well.
Her funeral was full of white flowers, her parents weeping on the side about how they lost their lovely daughter. Her friends, even guys who had short flings with her, came to grief. Aeri was there, trying to hide her tears. Yuta was next to you, caressing your back as you kept crying for the friend-like sister you lost.
Instead of just grieving like the others, you felt guilty. This was all because of you.
Sophie died because of you.
You didn’t tell anyone of the letter, it was like a secret with Kim Doyoung. Even Yuta doesn’t know. And you don’t want to let him know.
“Shouldn’t you distance yourself from your boyfriend now that you know that your life is in trouble?” The policeman asked, “And Miss Y/N, I know you know who did this.”
You sighed hard. “I don’t have proof. I can’t just accuse her without any concrete evidence, can I?”
“Then you’ll just wait until that person comes to hurt you?”
Maybe you’ll just do that.
You don’t have any strength to do anything at all. Even staying at the apartment you once shared with Sophie feels so heavy. Yuta suggested the penthouse which sounds safer than the other options you have. Unlike when you started dating him, Yuta was always by your side. He would leave in the morning to work on some things but would always come back in the evening before you went to sleep, hugging you in his arms while you cry.
You were cooking some breakfast when you felt someone hug you from behind, hands wrapped around your waist as his breathing can be felt against your neck. “Why are you dressed up? Are you going somewhere?” Yuta asked and you nodded.
“Doyoung has some leads in Sophie’s case,” You answered in a monotone, putting some pepper in the soup you made. “He wanted me to check it.”
He wrapped you tightly in a hug, nuzzling his head on your shoulder. “You’re meeting that policeman more often lately.” If possible, you can hear the pout in his voice. “You’re making me jealous.”
You giggled at that. How adorable. You turned to see his face. “Why would you even get jealous over that?” You asked while holding both his cheeks. “It’s nothing Yuta. We’re just working together to find out who did this to Sophie.”
“I can help you if you would just let me.” A smile escaped your lips, shaking your head. You don’t want him getting involved. You don’t want him to have the same hunches as you. You don’t want Yuta to know that you’re in danger and this was all your fault. He wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tight. “I’m relieved,” You were curious about that statement. “This is the first time in a week that I saw you smile.”
You gave him a small smile. “I’m sorry if I worry you.”
But Yuta shook his head, smiling widely at you. “After you meet with Policeman Kim, let’s go have lunch together. I’ll reserve a fancy restaurant for just the two of us.”
You nodded. Actually looking forward to that moment.
Doyoung did supply very useful information. Because of the semen found on Sophie's underwear, they found out who sexually assaulted her. A bellboy from the hotel. He did claim that they only had sex and he left after. The other staff of the hotel claimed that someone came into her room and left soon after. There isn't CCTV or a legit witness to convict someone of the crime.
He kept on pressing you for what you know but you are not someone to talk to unless there are facts. You read the letter repeatedly, the blood almost drying but you knew the word by heart.
'You're next, Y/N.'
The person who killed your bestfriend is a person who wants you dead. And there is only one person who wants that. You don't want to accuse her but she's the only plausible suspect there is. Isn't it already enough that she drugged Yuta?
Is this still because you were with Yuta? That she is starting to hurt the people you care for. That she is out there to kill you?
Then Sophie might be right. This relationship with Yuta wouldn’t work. You’re only hurting the people you care about. It only resulted in a life lost because of the two of you. And who knows what other things Kyoko can do?
Maybe it’s time to end it once and for all.
You were feeling excited about the promised dinner the whole day but as time passed by, you were slowly dreading it. Your heart felt heavy inside your chest. You were scared of how to tell Yuta what you think. You were scared of how he would react.
Love should make you happy, not worried like this.
You desperately waited for his message or call, even wishing that it wouldn’t come. That even for just a day, you will save yourself from this heartache bound to happen.
The phone Yuta gave you vibrated, a message you sighed hard to open. It only said a specific address, no restaurant name or time. Just an address. Is this some kind of surprise? Why is he suddenly doing this?
Breaking up will be harder now.
The cab took you to an eerie abandoned warehouse. He even checked if the address you stated is correct or if he should call the police for you but you shook your head. Yuta’s car was outside. Maybe it’s a facade and the surprise is inside. Every step inside feels heavy. How can you say goodbye when he did all these things for you?
But when you opened the large doors, there was only darkness that scared you. The door closed automatically behind you as the light flickered revealing a silhouette of someone in the middle of the room. Wrists were tied with a rope, hanging from a high ceiling. Immediately, you ran to carry her body and tried to remove the bound on her wrist with one hand. “Y/N,” she called, face looking so pale, and you hushed Momo up. What is she doing here? “Uncle…” Uncle? Mark? He’s also here?
You frantically looked around the empty room just as you heard a small wheezing sound. Smoke filled the room. But a specific smell made you black out. Oleander.
The first time you encountered the flower was at a convention. Sophie told you about it and how the looks of the flower can deceive you. They bloom in white, pink, yellow, or red charming flowers but when ingested, they can be poisonous. Even the smoke burned from its wood is toxic. The same scent lingers in your nose.
You feel like flying but something is dragging you down. Specifically, your feet and hands. When you opened your eyes, you weren’t surprised to see the person you have been despising for days. The first impression of her classy looks didn’t leave her face even if she is now smirking in front of you. A crazy woman.
You squirmed to get out of the ropes on your wrists and ankle but she only laughed maniacally. “Where is Momo? And Mark?” She took a knife from her pocket, the same pocket knife you threw at her before. “Why are you hurting them?”
The sharp edge of the knife came in contact with your cheek which created a stinging pain. She dragged it south, creating a cut from your cheek to your jaw. “What does Yuta see in you?” You hissed at the pain, and blood started dripping to your clothes. “You’re average. Why would he choose someone like you?”
“Because unlike you, I chose him first.”
Clearly, she didn’t like the answer and pushed the knife on the side of your neck. “You, of all people, don't have the right to be with Yuta.” Does she really hate you this much? But she's the one who left Yuta first? Why is she acting like a crazy girlfriend? “Y/N Y/L/N,” she started, “Your father used to work with Mr. Long, isn’t he? A driver?” How did she know that?
A wide smile appeared on her face, “Mr. Long, a well-known mafia boss from Shanghai.” No, he’s not. You know the man. He owns a small construction business. “A mafia boss well known as the Nakamoto group’s rival.” No, he can't be. Your father isn’t related to the mafia. “Do you even know why your mother died, Y/N?” Why does she know these things? What does she know that you don’t?
“Yuta’s dad is brutal, isn’t he?” You shook your head. You don’t know him. You don’t want to hear anymore. “He killed your mom. And Mr. Nakamoto was the reason why your dad was shot.” That cannot be true. The knife lunged at your neck, creating a cut. But it isn’t as painful as you thought. You’re ready to accept death like this. “The reason why your life is hell is because of Yuta.”
No. It’s not.
A gunshot is heard before Kyoko’s mouth spilled bright red blood. A smile appeared on her lips as she fell to the ground. Just like in your nightmares. Yuta was by the doorway, breathing hard with a gun at hand. He killed Kyoko. He defied the first rule of the Nakamoto group.
He ran to your side, removing the ropes on your wrists and ankles before removing his shirt and placing it on your bleeding neck. “I already told Jaehyun to come here…”
“Why?” Yuta looked confused. “Why did you kill her? You disobeyed the first rule…”
The mafia boss looked pissed at the question. “Do you think I would care about that stupid rule?” He shouted. “She killed Sophie. She took Momo.” How did Yuta know about that? “The last straw is her hurting you.”
“Momo,” you whispered, suddenly reminded of the little girl you saw earlier. “She said Mark is here.”
He looked startled and confused, “But Mark was the one who brought me here.”
A figure can be seen by the door.
A young man was carrying the young girl in his arms, a gun pointing at her head. “And Mark is the one who planned all of these.” You're used to seeing him in his boyish state, timid. But this is a different Mark. The same Mark who didn't show mercy in killing the person who abused you in Kyoko’s boutique. “Mark who will slowly kill the people you care about, hyung.”
“Don’t hurt Momo.” The older guy pleaded. “She’s your niece.”
“The reason why my sister is dead,” Mark stated. “The only person I have left in my family after what your father did.” Mark then stared at you, “After what both your fathers did.” All the facts you have been hearing today hurt your head and it’s pounding.
You know Yuta is talking to Mark, maybe persuading him not to do something drastic. Momo is crying, and fright can be seen on her face.
When Mark pushed the small mechanism of the revolver he was holding and pushed the firearm on the younger girl’s temple, you knew you had to do something.
You acted on impulse and discreetly took Yuta’s gun from the floor.
You’ve never held a gun before, only that time in the amusement park and you can feel warmth holding your arm and a voice whispering, “Fire, Y/N. Kill him.”
One shot.
Second shot.
Third shot.
Before you felt the firearm yanked from our hand. You didn’t realize the tears were falling in your eyes if not for Yuta hushing you up while wrapping you in his arms.
characters: mafia boss! Yuta Nakamoto x innocent! florist! reader
summary: While running away, you seemed to be moving closer to the man you were avoiding. Are you even heading to the right direction?
chapter word count: 2.8k words
chapter genre: smut, fluff, angst
chapter warning: blood, knife, killing someone in a dream, a sex-induced drug, forced penetrative sex, a kind of a toxic relationship, character death
a/n: I am super sorry for the long waiting time for the update. And I'm sorry for how dark this story has been. The scene is inspired by one scene from Koi no Dangan.
You were confused about why he said those words on your way out of the hospital. It scared you.
The nervousness only grew when he never called you for days. You were used to it but this was different. It feels like you broke up even if you didn’t. And it’s scaring you. What if this is just the end of everything?
It also bothers you that you always dream of Kyoko and blood. The worst was seeing her bloody body on the floor of the bathroom where her party happened and the pocket knife was in your hand, repeatedly jerking it in her. The white dress which looked really lovely on her tainted with bright red splotches of blood that looked like cherry blossoms.
Sweat beads and tears formed on your face as Sophie rushed to your room to hush you from your nightmare. You were killing her in her dream. What if that happens in reality?
“You wouldn’t,” Sophie would always say, “Y/N, you acted on instinct that day. You’re not a violent person.”
“But what if…?”
“I’m telling you, you won’t.” But you can’t help but think of things negatively. You did it once. You hurt someone. It wouldn’t be possible that you’ll eventually end up hurting another person. The older girl before you sighed, “Love should always make you happy. Not traumatize you like this.”
“And I’m starting to think Yuta isn’t meant for you, Y/N.”
—-
Lexi informed you that Kyoko was already out of the hospital and didn’t even receive major surgery. You were just relieved that she was alive. But even if that news arrived to you, Yuta never contacted you.
Mark went to the flower shop with Momo once and he stated that the older one was a little busy with things related to the mafia group. You wonder if it was because of his plan to transfer the leadership to Mark or some other things. Does the younger guy know about the older one's plan?
The nights you have had become sleepless for you. You were scared of the things that your mind conjures up. You were scared of the nightmares. It is your second coffee cup just to not fall asleep and disturb Sophie in her rest when a knock on the door can be heard. Who would come here at this late hour? The owner of the apartment came out of her room, wrapping a bathrobe to cover her nightgown. “Who is it?” You were standing by the door, your hand shaking as you turned the door knob.
To your relief, it was Mark carrying an unconscious Yuta. Wait, what happened? Sophie was the one who asked your question as you ushered them in. Is he drunk? Why is he unconscious? “He met with Miss Kyoko,” Mark supplied and you noticed the sweat forming on Yuta’s forehead. You took a face towel to wipe him dry, “He was drugged.”
Sophie and you gasped at that. “You should have brought him to the hos...” But you were cut off by Yuta calling your name in a moan. “I need Y/N. Bring me to Y/N.”
You were looking at Mark in confusion before he pushed his glasses up, “It was a sex-inducing drug.” A what? “I’m sorry but he kept on calling you so I brought him here.”
Sophie smiled, leaving you more confused. Then what should you do? “I’ll just put on decent clothes.” The older woman claimed, disappearing to her room. Mark was just shyly looking at you as Yuta kept on moaning your name, removing the buttons of his dress shirt. “I’ll take care of Miss Sophie and book her a hotel room. Please take care of hyung.”
“Wait, what should I do?”
Sophie exited the room, staring at you as if she was already tired. “Blow his head off.”
You hated how Sophie and Mark looked so good together but you hated the fact that you’re left with Yuta alone in this apartment unit. Your boyfriend who you never saw for days. Your boyfriend who kept on erotically calling your name while undressing in front of you. Your boyfriend who looks so hard in his pants. “Mark, hurry up. I need to see Y/N.” He isn’t unconscious but why didn’t he realize that he’s already here with you? “All I want to touch me is Y/N.”
He looks like he’s in such a pain. Yet he kept on thinking about you. “Yuta,” You called quietly, holding his cheek. He hissed at the contact of your skin, “Yuta, I’m here.”
His eyes were hooded, squinting at you. “Y/N,” he called and you nodded, assuring him that you’re here for him. He pulled you close, hugging your body while he hissed as if in pain. “I miss you,” He cried. “I need you.”
The way he’s begging broke your heart. He must be in deep pain to cry like this.
“Tell me, what should I do?”
It was a wrong question for he pulled you in his lap. You felt how hard he is and were astounded that he was already in this state without you doing anything. Why did Kyoko drug him with this? “Y/N,” he called, eyes teary. “Please fuck me.”
You've witnessed a lot of expressions from Yuta over the month but this is something new, something very foreign and scary. He looked so scared, so desperate. A contrast to the whole mafia facade. He kept on hissing, lips creating a lewd sound while your fingers came in contact with his skin. You removed his pants, pulling down his boxers to reveal his hard cock, red and throbbing. It looks like it hurts a lot. And judging from his expression, you know he's in such distress.
But what should you do? Give him a handjob? Suck him like you did before? "Fuck Y/N, stop teasing." He pushed you to the couch. Your neck is exactly on the handrest which makes you uncomfortable. He pulled down your pajama pants before entering you without warning that made you scream. "Fuck!" He kept on cursing, pushing himself deeper inside you.
Your fingers clawed on his back. This is uncomfortable. The way he moved to his release was scary. This isn't the Yuta who kept on asking you if you were hurting the first time. This isn't Yuta who gently pushes himself to you, scared to hurt you. This is way different. He's like a beast. A monster. You wanted him to stop but didn't want to hurt him.
It must be the drug.
Your back was on the floor after he gently pushed you from the couch, legs raised to have more access to your nether regions. It feels uncomfortable that you wanted him to stop but you cannot say those words as erotic sounds kept on escaping your mouth while he kept on jerking inside you.
It is the drug.
He didn't stop even if he reached his release for the third time. You were now on your bed, lying stomach flat as he entered you roughly from behind. Your fingers gripped the bed sheet, and tears kept on escaping from your eyes. You were hurting but you don't want him to stop.
You might have passed out from the extensive activity the sun was shining brightly when you opened your eyes. Yuta was lying on the bed beside you, in his naked glory. Is he now alright? Is he still under the drug? You just stood up and decided to head to the bathroom to clean yourself. Your hair was unruly, and stains of tears can be seen on the side of your face. Bright purple hickeys and reddish bruises can be seen on your skin. And although you keep on scrubbing it away, it doesn't wash out. Like the memory of what happened last night. The fright you felt being touched by the man you love.
Why would that happen to Yuta? Is that a usual occurrence? But he said before that you were the first girl he ever touched. And that all of his actions from last night were because of the drug that Kyoko gave him. Why did he meet her? And if he's not in his right state of mind, will he do those things with Kyoko and not you?
Are you still in love with him even if you were scared of his actions from last night?
The door to your room opened that distracted you from the ugly thoughts bothering your mind. He's up. "Y/N," he called softly. "Love?"
"Hi," you smiled timidly, turning to face him. "How are you feeling?"
He was obviously checking you out, his eyes staring at you from top to bottom as if scanning you. To your surprise, he kneeled on the floor and then bowed his head. “I’m sorry.” His voice was broken. “I’m sorry for hurting you.” You cannot see his face but there was an obvious strain in his voice. If you don’t know him enough, you’ll think that he was crying. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do it. I’m sorry for hurting you.” He repeated. “I understand if you hate me. You can shoot me or cut off my fingers…” What? “But please, love, don’t leave me.”
Your heart swelled at that. You crouched down to reach his height, kneeling in front of him. “Yuta, look at me.”
“I don’t deserve to look at you. I did something horrible.”
“Please just look at me.”
The surprise was all that was registering in your mind. You realized that you completely don’t know Yuta. Tears were welling in his huge, round eyes as he stared at you. The look of worry and despair flashed on his features. He looked so vulnerable. So broken.
If you thought you’d seen him at his worse, then you’re dead wrong about that.
You held his cheeks. “I told you I’m not that fragile.” But the way his eyes sparkled with the tears only made your heart hurt. “I’m fine. How are you feeling?” He only answered with a heavy sigh. “You were drugged, shouldn’t you go to the hospital? Let Jaehyun see you, perhaps?”
“I’m feeling better.” His eyes were looking on the ground then at you, “I’m sorry for hurting you.”
You shook your head, smiling timidly. Although you wanted to get mad, you cannot stay too mad at him. Maybe your love for him is too much that another emotion can’t grow inside you. “Yuta, why did you meet her?”
He regarded your expression for a moment before speaking up, "I asked Kyoko to stop making a way to see me. I talked to her about us. That you’re the one I want to be with."
"And she didn't take it too well?"
Yuta nodded. "She promised me she wouldn't bother you if I take a last drink with her."
"And she put that in your drink?" He nodded. Wow, what a crazy woman. "What is wrong with her?" Yuta stared at the floor, muttering an apology once again. "You should have gone to the hospital. What if that was a dangerous drug to kill you?"
But you knew it was unlikely to happen. Kyoko loves Yuta. She wouldn’t make a way to kill him. "Then I'll die in your arms." You gasped. "When I tasted the drug, all that was running in my mind was to see you." His eyes stared at yours. "When I felt the effects of the drug, I knew I had to go to you whatever happens."
He knew what the drug was? "You're the only one I want to be with last night.” He knew yet it’s still you he wants. He can choose other girls to be with but he still chose you. How can you even grow to hate this person? “And I’m terribly sorry. I shouldn’t have come here. I shouldn’t have hurt you.”
You once again shook your head. “I understand if you hate me or if you’re mad at me. I deserve it.” He bowed his head again and his forehead even made a small thumping sound against the floor. “But Y/N, please don’t leave me.”
The side of your lips curled up. How can you hate him when he’s like this? “I won’t leave you so can you please stand up?” He looked so adorable when he raised his head to look at you. “I miss you.”
His face lighted up, a smile appearing on his face. “I do, too. So much.” There was relief on his face that made you smile. “Can I hug you?” You knew he didn’t need to ask but after what happened last night maybe it was indeed necessary for him. You reached out your arm and he pulled you in his arms, wrapping you in a strong yet comforting hold. The back of his fingers trailed on your arm which has bruises from last night. “I’m sorry.” He placed soft gentle kisses against the hickeys on your neck. “I’m sorry, love.”
You giggled at his repeated apologies. Who would have thought that the guy holding you on the kitchen floor is a feared mafia? You love that he’s only showing this side to you. That there was a different Yuta than the one perceived by the public eye. “Next time, get even.” You stared at him in confusion. What is he saying? “Use me for your pleasure. Fill my skin with hickeys and bruises.” You raised an eyebrow at that. “Hurt me.”
A grin escaped your lips. “I’ll look forward to that.”
It was a typical morning. He made you fried rice from the leftover ingredients from the fridge and you had a hearty breakfast. He mentioned things about his work abroad but you cannot understand anything and just nodded at him. It was almost lunchtime when Mark came to pick him up. The younger just noted that Sophie is staying at a nearby hotel which made you nod. Knowing your friend, she will enjoy the luxurious room and she deserved it.
“I’ll call you if I’m alive,” Yuta whispered, brushing the hair away from your shoulders. He leaned in to kiss your lips gently, smiling as he let go of the kiss then leaning once again for another smooch.
“I’ll wait.”
—----
It’s been days. Two days to be exact but he never called. A normal scenario.
But what’s weird is not hearing from Sophie as well. The flowers from inside the shop were all dying and although she had left you running the flower shop a lot of times, you cannot open the shop without her permission. You kept on calling her phone but she was out of reach. Did she enjoy herself too much? Did she run off to another place? Did Mark mention the name of the hotel she was staying at?
It was a boring day so you decided to just clean the house. It’s the least you can do and maybe after she comes back from her rendezvous, she’ll be happy with the clean house.
A knock on the door can be heard that made you smile. It must be Sophie. Why do you suddenly miss her this much? But you stopped when a uniformed person was standing by the door, “Does Miss Sophie Han live here?” You nodded, asking who he was and what he needed from her.
Your heart started beating tenfold in your chest. You have been dating a mafia boss. You were involved in the mafia for a while now. But you have never had a run-in with the police. So why is a uniformed policeman here asking for Sophie?
He asked if he could come in and that you needed to sit down which made you more nervous. No, nothing bad has happened. He started taking plastic bags from his bag followed by pictures, all with a red color. “We received a call from Belle Hotel.” That was blocks away from here. She was staying there? “And we found these in Miss Han’s room.”
Her necklace and earrings were in one zip-lock bag. A pocket knife and some bullets in another bag. “We are sorry but Miss Sophie Han is dead when we came to her room.”
Your vision turned blurry, your head swirling at the information. The pictures showed her body full of blood that looked like cherry blossoms against the exact white shirt she was wearing the night she left the apartment. “Do you know someone who can do this?” Sophie? The person you are most excited to see is now dead? You shook your head. You didn’t know if it was because of the fact that she was now gone or the policeman’s question. “Do you know someone named Y/N?”
Your eyes widened in shock and you introduced yourself. The guy handed you another zip-lock bag with a piece of paper inside, “We found this in her pocket.” Shakingly, you unfolded the paper and then gasped.
Everything made sense. No one hates Sophie. But why would someone do this?
On the paper was blood, probably Sophie’s blood, in the words,
