Allons-y

[catchymemes]

[toastbutteregg]

[memeuplift]

[3000s]

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

[3000s]

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

if i tell yall what i did on the tram today yall would call it a fake tumblr story i think

[octal-alchemist]

oh?

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

so it helps to know that my mindset at the time was influenced by having been transphobically sealioned at a temping agency earlier, as well as spontaneously turning up to a different temping agency without an appointment & actually landing with them after THOSE guys turned out to be cool.

I was on the tram (crowded tram) (just after 11 AM) on my way home full of adrenaline still, and saw my dad eating a banana on the platform. I could get out of the tram to say hi, but then i'd miss the tram, or worse, hold it up. What i COULD do, however, is sprint out of the tram as soon as the door opens, take a bite from the banana my dad is holding, and SPRINT back into the tram before the doors close. So That Is What I Did.

unfortunately now roughly half of the passengers of the tram were looking at me like I was suddenly some sort of feral spirit of hunger or perhaps a strange insect of some sort.* Fortunately, the truth was also the ONE sequence of words that could make what they had just witnessed okay. I went "das ist mein papa!!!" which is german for "thats my dad!!!!!"

My dad seemed genuinely delighted by this btw. the look on his face was fucking PRICELESS

[cool-jpgs-of-wizards-with-swords]

i would like to beat the little german boy accusations based on my behavior before they arise. i am in fact a tall german trans girl.

however in everything except body i AM calvin from calvin & hobbes

[vague-humanoid]

[lithominium]

[disgustinggf]

[grimeclown]

Mistakenly touched my weenor after crushing up a chili pepper for my Ramen honestly not as painful as one would expect more of a gentle heat much like the pleasant burn of cayenne in a spiced coffee or even much like . A chili crushed up in a bowl of delicious Ramen. Much food for thought

[collaredbottom]

I hate this website

[collaredbottom]

Like come on dude, you couldn't torture this information out of me

[grimeclown]

And does the honeybee begrudge the cow its willingness to part with its milk? Our differences enrich our experience of this beautiful world.

[collaredbottom]

"I masturbated with a pepper"

"Wtf"

[Socratean poetry]

[grimeclown]

I don't need to take this from you tumblr user collaredbottom

[generationexorcist]

[disgruntled-neighborhood-wife]

[2urban2fantasy-deactivated20241]

Your honor in my defense I am simply a little rascal

[twerklina]

Vintage Valentine’s Day Cards

[lake-lady]

Yes yes yes yes yES YES YES YES

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

[amygdala-dan]

This makes no sense

[maxknightley]

it literally could not be more straightforward

[thatguyfromthatwebsite]

It literally doesnt make sence, both have the same value, they're both $30

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

I think the failure of many people to grasp an incredibly simple, barebones metaphor is demonstrating implicit bias very well

This dude straight up stated the fucking answer and still can’t understand it, because he’s expecting the answer to be his own views lmao

[thatguyfromthatwebsite]

No im not expecting anything its just a badly frammed metaphor

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

Bro you said the answer. Both have the same value despite different sizes. It’s simple. Basic. Elementary.

[thatguyfromthatwebsite]

But it never says that, it just asks you wich one is greater and the text ends there, wich leads you to thinking that one indeed has greater value then the other, and that the one with the greater value is the answear

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

It asks you which one has the greater value and what is the answer to that question?

[thatguyfromthatwebsite]

Im not about to argue over a focken tit size metaphor

[sapper-in-the-wire-old]

Never underestimate the lack of reading comprehension on this site lmfao

[flipocrite]

[guerrillatech]

[theocsource]

THE O.C. (2003-2007) ↳ season 3 episode 20

[reptile-ruler]

Sometimes a guy in a fanfiction has the ability to read someone's gaze with the same level of detail a wine taster can taste the wine

[reptile-ruler]

"He glared at him with anger in his eyes, but behind that longing and sorrow over things left unsaid, a subtle but desperate yearning for things to be different, and with just a hint of roasted nuts right at the end."

[tetohina-deactivated20240718]

[inthefallofasparrow]

[eilooxara]

Hamsterdam

[hearteyedraccoon]

[toskarin]

guy who is definitely not about to fall into a surprise midday nap with an aftermath worse than a hangover: it seems like a really good idea to lay in bed and get cozy under the blanket as part of my plan not to fall asleep. I do not know why.

[memeuplift]