Georgia the Explorgia of feminist issues

I'm white, middle class, queer, non binary, disabled and a rape survivor. Feminist who hates feminism. Articles, vlogs, spoken word.

[explorgia]

Non Binary sources for stupid cis people

Just came out to my soon-to-be manager. Had to find some sources because cis people can’t use google for themselves so thought i’d share what i found

http://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Non-binary

http://www.glaad.org/reference/transgender

http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/12/myths-non-binary-people/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46ehrFk-gLk

https://theyismypronoun.wordpress.com/2014/04/17/singular-they-and-verb-conjugation/

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‘what about the cis women?’

Can i just be clear about one thing? There is absolutely no such thing as 'cis women have it hard too'. The reasons people are outwardly discriminated against in a gendered way is because they are READ as female, feminine, gender non conforming or queer. There is nothing that a cis woman will be subjected to that trans, gender non conforming and queer people can not also experience, plus a whole pile of transphobia and gender feels crap. If you address the needs of these people, cis women's needs will be addressed too. This is why feminism on the whole right now is fucking useless. This is why we do not need one fucking session on trans issues. There is NO NEED for ANY conversation about gender that focuses solely focuses on the experiences of cis women. Repeat: THE NEED FOR IT DOES NOT EXIST.

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I hate it when people try to say ‘well look at this thing! This isn’t racism/sexism/anythingism, so it doesn’t exist and you’re wrong!’

That’s like saying ‘I wanna do some research into the existence of blue. Well i studied this sofa and the comb and neither of these are blue so blue doesn’t exist.’

Just because there’s ONE incident, or ONE example, or even thousands where there isn’t prejudice, doesn’t mean that prejudice doesn’t exist. There is still blue fucking everywhere.

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To straight cis people with the rainbow filter

Straight cis people who have the flag as their profile picture, I appreciate the gesture, but please just don't unless you're actually doing something for LGBT people. Anti-homophobia and ‘PRIDE’ are things that have been chewed up and spat out into the mainstream (kind of like black culture). People will go to pride, change their profile picture, and occasionally proclaim ‘love is love!’ without actually doing any real activism. Firstly, If you are celebrating pride please make sure you actually KNOW who you're supporting. People who aren’t the first two letters of the acronym (privilege checked) often carry the burden of explaining their identities to other people. Please make an effort to understand what it actually is and means to be bisexual, pansexual, demisexual, greysexual, asexual, trans, non-binary, gender fluid, bigender, genderqueer, mtf spectrum, ftm spectrum. Try to get at least a basic view of the massive variety of genders and sexualities. By understanding this yourself and spreading the word to other people you will help take the weight off of people who have to explain themselves *constantly*. Make an effort to understand how homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia ACTUALLY WORK, the kind of things that queer, trans and non-binary people actually deal with - the micro-agressions and preconceptions and ignorances that form the foundation for oppression. Make an effort to understand the basics of not being a twat to trans and non-binary people - how and when to ask for pronouns, not saying shit about biology etc. Make an effort to research asylum rules, and the way that the UK is ruthlessly asking people to ‘prove’ their sexuality, and sending them back to dangerous places when they can’t. Understand how racism and disability intersect with being LGBT (Hint: they make it harder) And most importantly DO something about it. Have a conversation with somebody. Sign a petition. Share an article. Volunteer with a relevant charity. Combat microagressions, stereotypes, problematic behaviour WHENEVER, and WHEREVER you see them. Queer rights isn’t something to be picked up and put down again - it’s not a fashion statement, it’s not a cuteness. Far too many people want a brownie point for a rainbow flag and saying they're not homophobic.. So if you want a rainbow profile picture WORK FOR IT. Share the burden. Show that you actually give a shit about our lives. I can’t speak for anyone but myself but as a queer person I don’t need any more people saying how much they hate discrimination - I need people actually doing something about it.

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Small snail [spoken word]

TW: description of suicide (Youtube link)

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perfect storms

Why we connected: weed, low self esteem and bad decision making.

Other reasons may be the lack of moral compass, Wray & Nephew, boobs. 

The only constant in life except for change is Lesbian Drama

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'I'm bisexual' 'But are you GAY?'

A bit on biphobia + attitudes to bisexuality. (Youtube link)

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Because I could have been a guy

Last night, at a club, I pushed a guys coat off of a bench. He saw me, came over and assaulted me, hitting me, pushing my head against a wall, and restraining me. I was completely powerless to defend myself and terrified. When I got my head free he suddenly gendered me as a women and immediately started apologising, saying he’d thought I was a guy.

I raged at him, hitting him two or three times in the face while he did nothing to retaliate before I went outside and started to have a panic attack. The bouncers, to their enormous credit, immediately asked me what was going on, found him and threw him out.They believed me 100%, took his details and offered over and over for me to report him to the police (I refused). 

The point i’m making here is this - he did that because he thought I was a guy.

He assaulted me, and could tell probably immediately that I didn’t have nearly enough strength to defend myself, but carried on because he thought i was a guy.

Had I been a guy, the bouncers probably wouldn’t have taken me nearly as seriously for having a panic attack outside, and probably would have told me to calm myself down.

Had I been a guy, I probably would already have learnt not to show emotion like that in public, and would have repressed it instead, meaning perhaps that it turned eventually into anger.

Had I been a guy, the bouncers probably would have thought the fight had been much more of a mutual thing. They might have thrown him out but I doubt they’d have so eagerly offered for me to press charges, and certainly wouldn't have been so sympathetic to my reaction.

Because he was a guy, the bouncers used way more force than necessary when removing him,and were completely non-phased when I told them I’d punched him as well, with not so much as a ‘it’s not okay to hit people’, because I am a girl. 

As a woman I’ve spent much of my life being taught to accept to be afraid of sexual violence, to guard myself against it, learn how to avoid it - basically to accept that it is a part of life. Until last night I didn’t realise that men learn to understand the risk of being attacked by other men. I didn’t stop to think that men are taught constantly that being attacked at random, being started on, being threatened isn’t OKAY exactly, but it’s an inevitable part of being a guy.

Hyper masculinity is a toxic culture - one that not only teaches men to be violent, but teaches them to receive, expect, and deal with violence, that they should learn to protect themselves and stand up for themselves, and learn to deal with it as a man should. Worse yet, we teach men to use dominance, strength, violence, as a yard stick of their own worth and calibre as a man - to perpetuate this culture by playing their own part it in, gaining social standing through it.

I want to say this, to any guy who has been in that situation before, who has been attacked on a night out, who has been hit by a guy, or by a woman, by a partner or by anybody: You did not deserve that. You do not deserve violence. You shouldn’t have to learnt to deal with that behaviour. It’s not your responsibility to learn to defend yourself, to learn to fight back, or to learn to emotionally or physically handle that abuse. If that has ever happened to you, that was wrong and you did not deserve it.

To any guy who has ever perpetrated violence against somebody else, be it another guy, a partner, or anybody: You live in a culture that has taught you to be violent. You live in a culture that has given you so few options for expressing, dealing with, or even accepting your own emotions, that teaches you to be dominant just as it teaches women to be submissive, that teaches you to always be capable just as it teaches women to be vulnerable. I’m sorry that that’s the world you are in - but it is your responsibility at this point to learn to deal with your feelings in less harmful ways, and to stop yourself from being violent to others. 

This is why I care about men’s issues. Last night was terrifying not because of my gender, but because I’m a human being. The whole ordeal was made a lot easier for me because I’m a woman, but as I was so brutally reminded, I could just as easily have been a man.

[lacigreen]

Hi Sam!

Thanks for taking the time to read this letter. As fellow YouTubers, we have much respect for others who put so much hard work into building their channel. It’s not easy, and you should be proud! That said, we’ve noticed that in your success, there has been a lack of respect in...

[explorgia]

The invisible survivors and a dark corner of victim blaming - #whyididn'treport

*Warning for potential triggering - victim blaming

The hashtag #whyistayed has popped up recently - it started with a series of tweets by Beverly Gooden after the whole Ray Rice incident. What basically happened there is that the NFL player was accused of assaulting his wife. The NFL gave him a paltry 2 game ban for the offence.

Then there was an enormously disturbing video of Rice making a public statement about the it all, with his now wife sitting next to him, silent, while he talks about the incident as if they were just having a marital spat - ‘we’ve learnt from it’ ‘we’ve had counselling’…What the flying fuck?

Then a CCTV video of the assault surfaces (Jesus Christ I’m not linking that, but there’s an alarming amount of copies on youtube) , that showed Rice (TW:description of dv) knocking his then fiancé out and dragging her body out of an elevator.

After this video the NFL banned him indefinitely.

Unsurprisingly, a bunch of fucks clamour on to the internet to ask why she married him after this incident, why she’s still with him - she must be asking for it obviously.

The #whyistayed campaign was started to show the variety of stories of women who’ve suffered abuse at the hands of a partner, to show that the reasons for staying are numerous, personal, involve coercion, manipulation - that it’s not a fault of the victim, that it’s an aspect of the abuse, that it’s not the *responsibility* of the victim to end abusive behaviour of men by leaving it. 

The #whyistayed movement was started to bring together women who have suffered abuse, to create a visible stream of all of their experiences, to blow apart the simplified view that women should stop the crimes committed against them.  This reminded me of another kind of responsibility that we place on women who’re victims of violence - the responsibility to report.

6 months ago while I was volunteering for a local rape crisis centre I represented them in a radio interview about anonymity for those accused of sex crimes. Me and this woman have the interview, and aside from the fact that she clearly has more concern for the tiny number of men effected by false accusations than the thousands of women who’s potential for justice would be taken away with accused anonymity, it goes swimmingly. She emails me afterward, asks for an interview with a survivor. The centre can’t ask its service users to represent them in the media, but I don’t want to leave her empty handed. 

My hands hover over the keyboard. I clench my teeth and think about it. What will it be like to talk about my rape? It’s only recently I’ve begun to process all of what happened to me as sexual violence, and not as just how i got used to men treating me. I haven’t even had the chance or the money to talk to my councillor about it yet.

  I type back that I can talk to her as a survivor. I wanted to be brave. I wanted to be the women who could rise like a phoenix from the ashes, overcome the shame of victim blaming, be an ambassador.

Two days later we sit on a damp bench on the Uni campus. She asks me to tell her my experiences. I state frankly that I’ve been raped three times, attempted rape twice and sexual assault five or six times, not counting sexual harassment. She asks that I describe an incident, I resist, she asks again, and I awkwardly recount through the first time I was raped. She looks doubtful that it even counts, she clearly doesn’t even know the law on rape.

She looks at me, so patronising, and says ‘So, it’s very difficult for me to hear that you never reported any of these incidences.’ It’s not a question. She’s not asking for anything, she’s not asking for why I didn’t report, she’s telling me what she thinks of me. What she’s saying is that I should have reported them. What she’s saying is how can I cry out as a survivor when I’ve done nothing to help myself. What she’s saying is how can I expect justice when I don’t even inform the police. She hasn’t bothered to research the experiences of women who report. She hasn’t read about women who are asked by the police what they were wearing or told that these things happen, advised not to get drunk, advised to drop their cases even when evidence is there, or face humiliation in court. She hasn’t bothered to find out that 24% of reported rapes are immediately dropped without investigation by the police; that only 6% reported even reach a conviction, only half of convictions jail time. She hasn’t had a look at the reams of incidences of victim blaming - victims of convicted rapists being illegally named on the internet, subjected to such humiliation, blame and abuse that they have to change names and move home.

I left the conversation feeling empty and humiliated, with my self-esteem somewhere near the height of the Mariana trench. I opened up about the realities of my rape and I was blamed for not reporting it. I sat in a cafe with a new notebook and listed each and every incident, to try and regain some semblance of control, of action, over what my mind and body has been subjected to. 

She never emails me the final interview, even though she says she will - her final product probably backing for accused anonymity, and I imagine says that victims have to report if they're going to talk about justice for survivors. 

Five months down the line I’m walking down the road. I’ve been triggered and I’m thinking about an attack, thinking about one of them, imagining like a waking nightmare bumping into him and him blaming me for it, telling me it wasn’t rape, it doesn’t count, i picture myself over-emotional in public, making a fool of myself, the girl who cried rape. The thought hits me. I stop dead, looking down at the ground, my heart is thumping inside my chest. 

I could report one. I could report an incident. I could go and tell the police. I could go and tell them and they would say there’s not enough evidence it was too long ago he didn’t have reasonable belief that I wasn’t consenting and I couldn’t prove who it was and it doesn’t count I’d better drop the case. And then it will have happened to me. I will have done what I was supposed to do as a survivor, what a good girl does when boys are boys and she gets raped. And I’ll be able to say to that smug fucking girl that I experienced the humiliation and the triggering and the blame myself from the law enforcement and the justice system and I’ll finally have a justification for standing up for the women who went through the same thing - I’ll have proof. My experiences will be valid. I will count. 

I want to take control of what has happened to me. I don’t want to be too scared to go, too scared to be dismissed. But it turns over in my head, which one would I report? If I report them all they’ll surely think I’m lying? What if I end up in the papers, one of those girls being taken to court for making it up? I’m too scared to face the almost definite chance that they’ll never even give me the time of an investigation. I am definitely too scared to come up close and personal with the big bad world that doesn’t give a shit that I was raped. 

And this is what we’re asking women to do when we blame them for not reporting violence against them - we make them responsible for changing the justice system, instead of making the justice system responsible for them. Just as with victim blaming it’s tempting to think as a woman that women can do something to change their situation, because then if we do the right things and behave the right way we can avoid that situation ourselves, and we don’t have to be afraid. 

I know so many women who have been raped, and some men too. I know all these women just through knowing women - not through safe spaces, not through survivors' meetings, not through working at a rape crisis centre - just through knowing women. 

I know of one person who has reported an assault, out of all of these incidences. One out of fourty, maybe fifty.  

Probably a majority of the women I’m close too have told me about *at least* one incident, often several. The same goes for my sister, for her friends, for my friends. All women who are willing to talk about rape know a fuck of a lot of women who’ve been raped. We talk about it in our living rooms, in drunk confessions, in whispers in public spaces, inboxes and text messages. It’s not in view of the rest of the world - the world has it’s own view of rape.

The government estimations say that 1 in 6 will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. But that doesn’t ring true from what I know. 

Studies also show that around 66% of women who are raped don’t even identify it as what it is because it doesn’t fit the ’stranger in a dark alley’ stereotype that Rupert Murdoch’s lap dogs love. So how could they answer ‘yes’ to ‘have you been raped?' in a survey, no less report it? 

It’s so frustrating that there are no statistics to show the realities of rape. If I had to aim at a ball-park figure I’d say at least 50% of women will be raped at some point in their lives, even ignoring sexual assault and sexual harassment. 

The other day my friend talked about all the atrocities that we know of committed against races, ethnicities, sexualities, disabilities - all the things that have been brought to light. She said everyone must think there’s never been any mass atrocity against women, but violence against women is that atrocity. It’s like what you read in a history book - something awful is happening, and nobody is talking about it, and when they do they are silenced. 

Survivors of sexual violence and domestic violence are systematically silenced. There’s victim blaming, rape myths, ignorance around rape, the list goes on. 

There are so many survivors living everywhere across the country and across the world, hidden, and there is no real awareness that they are there. 

A campaign under the #whyididn’treport hashtag trended back in April  to build a collection of stories of the realities of reporting sexual violence, to blow apart the responsibility put on women to change the police force and the justice system, and it’s re-emerging now alongside #whyistayed.

I want to put my story up there under #whyididn’treport, to get some closure on the shame I’ve been put through. I want to re-start #whyididn’treport to shine a light on the invisible survivors of violence, the responsibility put on women to report, as penance of a survivor.

I’ve posted about four tweets so far, and I’ve got about as many followers, so we’ll see how it goes - and if you want to join in, please do.

Follow it all here, along with the full stream back to April

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If you viewed the leaked celebrity images, this is for you

I just want to make one thing very fucking clear about the photo leaks of images of Jennifer Lawrence and others.

Apart from it being unbelievably fucking disgusting.

Apart from it being the most obvious example of sexism i’ve seen in a while.

Apart from it being a sex crime - not a scandal, a sex crime.

Apart from it being far, far more about power than it is about desire (because I’m a fucking lesbian and Jennifer Lawrence is beautiful and I don’t wanna see that shit)

Apart from all of that, let me make this very clear: if you search for any of those photos, you are complicit in their theft and dissemination. 

Law aside, you are committing that crime just as much as the person who started it all.

When you view and talk about those images you are justifying that they were released, you are saying that there is some cause and some reason behind it.

You are saying that their is demand behind the supply. 

You are saying that you agree, wholeheartedly, that those women’s bodies are public property and that you are willing to abuse your ability to view them. 

You are saying, whether you’re a man, a woman or non-binary identifying,  that you’re willing to make use of an option that you are given through gender discrimination. 

The fact that these images are on the internet is non consensual, and by choicefully viewing them you are taking the consent of anybody in them.

And this applies to ‘revenge porn’ too - to any person in any image or video released without their consent. 

You are essentially, in your own lovely way, raping these women if you view these images. 

Do not view them under any other assumption, because without a culture of people willing to view these images this violation would never have happened.

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A tidbit of activism: Complain to the PCC about Robin Williams coverage

I've filled in a complaint form with the Press Complaints commission about the Metro's front page coverage on 13/08/2014 of Robin Williams' death - sensitively titled 'Agony of his final hours revealed'  TW image: details of suicide methods

You can make a complaint at http://www.pcc.org.uk/complaints/form.html

Here's what I wrote:

Please explain how you believe the Code of Practice has been breached Detail of suicide methods breached two areas of the code of practice. The article gave unnecessary and explicit detail of the methods of suicide, which breached the Privacy of the person who was the subject of the article, and his family and friends.

Details were put within a front page article and were written in large font within the subtitle, on the front page, which infringes clauses i) and ii) and intrusion into grief and shock.

Please add the clause(s) you believe to have been breached Privacy:

i) Everyone is entitled to respect for his or her private and family life, home, health and correspondence, including digital communications.

and

Intrusion into Grief or Shock:

i) In cases involving personal grief or shock, enquiries and approaches must be made with sympathy and discretion and publication handled sensitively. This should not restrict the right to report legal proceedings, such as inquests.

*ii) When reporting suicide, care should be taken to avoid excessive detail about the method used.

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A tidbit of activism: Email Minister about trans people banned from flying

I've emailed Denis Lebel, Ministry of Transportation about a new law in Canada that potentially restricts trans or gender non conforming people from any air travel. Article on it is below:  http://chrismilloy.ca/2012/01/transgender-people-are-completely-banned-from-boarding-airplanes-in-canada/

You can find him on [email protected]

To The Honourable Denis Lebel

Canada’s recent "Aeronautics Act," requires "appear to be of the gender indicated on the identification he or she presents”, a condition which could work some prevent some transsexual, transgender and/or intersex people and other gender non-conforming Canadian citizens from air travel. 

These revisions require that the gender marker on a person's identification must be deemed to match a subjective assessment of a person's gender, which will often be based on ignorance of trans identities, and/or transphobia.  

Not all transsexual people are able to obtain documentation of their correct gender. Also, many transgender people chose not to undergo a medical process required to gain this documentation. People who are visibly intersexed or Canadians who are otherwise gender non-conforming could also be singled out. A gender marker comparison is completely unnecessary to determine an individual's identity in this instance, and it is inexcusably discriminatory to people whose gender defies stereotypes and expectations (physical or otherwise). Sincerely,

Georgia Greenfield 

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We are all prejudiced. And it's about time we admitted it.

[For the sake of the article BME = black and/or minority ethnic.] At work I needed someone to take the ridiculously heavy glass bin away. I asked the straight guy first, before thinking I would have to do it myself, before thinking of asking the gay guy I work with, because he’s stronger than me and just as strong as any other guy. A bisexual girl I was chatting to mentioned an ex girlfriend and my first thought was ‘Oh ok, she’s ACTUALLY bisexual’ because she was feminine, and so I assumed she was straight until proven otherwise. 

I got pissed off with an Asian man  at work. He wasn't being exceptionally rude, but he was being pretty blunt. I thought about for a second: white men do that all the time to me and I don’t bat an eyelash.

Thinking about shows that are criticised for representing almost no non-white people (Friends, Girls, Sex and the City, this list goes on), the first thought that pops into my head is that it just wouldn't be the same if one of the main characters was BME. When clearing glasses amongst a huge crowd on a busy saturday at the bar I saw a slightly chubby, mid-thirties, scruffy woman standing in the crowd dancing casually with her friend. The first though that flickered into my head was 'what the hell is she doing here'. Then I looked, again, at the large white badly dressed man doing breakdancing in the middle of the floor and making a complete fool of himself, and realised him being there hadn’t bothered me at all. When I saw a pakistani man hitting on my friend persistently at a party I remember thinking how creepy he was. I realised that if this was a white man I would see it as dickish, but not creepy. I saw a black guy walking down the street from behind - he was wearing a really colourful garish tracksuit and I thought he looked really cool. He turned, I realised he was asian, and suddenly I found his outfit kind of nerdy. 

Sometimes when my mind wanders over a trans woman I hear ‘she used to be a man’ pop into my head, in stead of ‘she was born male bodied’.

Recently when my friend brought up ‘that guy you thought was hot at Leeds Art Gallery’, I didn’t register who she meant for a second because he was a trans guy, and I hadn’t fully thought of him as a guy.

The list is as long, rambling and as endless and the number of prejudices in our culture.

I do this every day, often without even realising. None of these prejudices are deliberate, the exist in the back of my mind and lurk in the snap-judgements and first thoughts before logic and consideration kick in.

I’m just like everybody else. I have no hatred or dislike for any group of people. I’m one of those people who could easily claim ‘I don’t see colour’ ‘I’m all for gay marriage - I love gay people’ ‘I see everyone equally’. I’m this, I’m that, I’m the exception, I’m not the problem, look how bad all the racism/sexism/anythingism is - thank god I’m not a part of that.

Here’s the thing - that’s bullshit. 

 We live in a world that sees white as better, straight as better, fully able as better, men as better, cisgendered as better, I could say more but I don’t need to. These prejudices are engrained in our culture, they are everywhere, shown in everything - systematic, fully functioning, alive and well prejudice. If we acknowledge this, (and any half-sentient human being will these days) then we MUST acknowledge it is engrained in us too. 

I’ll say it again: Our culture is prejudiced and so are we. Culture is made up of us. If we weren’t racist, out society wouldn’t be either. Just stop, look at all the oppression BME people are facing. This cannot be attributed to the small percentage of openly racist people in the UK.

We need to admit we’re prejudiced. Not the to world, but we need to know it in ourselves. We need to notice those first thoughts so we don’t act on them, and so we work to change them. 

It is all too easy to embrace fully your welcoming privilege (and we all have some) and say LOOK AT ME, I AM THE EXCEPTION. But the only way we can actually be an exception, and be the anti-inequality all-loving people that we want in our good-natured selves to be, is by admitting what our society is, admitting that we are a part of it, and taking responsibility for changing it.

We owe to all the people experiencing whatever oppression we don’t have to, every day. It is time now that we stop being part of the problem, and start being part of the solution.

[explorgia]

Straight humans, please stop appropriating lesbian culture.

Please don't call your friend your wifey for lifey.

Or your friends your girlfriends.

(Bestie for the resty is a nice alternative.)

Please, for fuck's sake, please don't post photos on Facebook of you kissing your friends on the lips.

If you wanna kiss your friends as a joke, do it (after all - how else do you figure out you're a lesbian in the first place?) but don't do it for men.

Lesbianism is not something to be picked up and put down again, it is not a cuteness, it is not an adorable hobby for besties to indulge in, gal pals don't trip, fall, and land in lesbianism.

Treating gayness like that isn't GAY PRIDE, it's patronising, it belittles it as an identity, and as something equal and valid.

Just don't do it, extra please.

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Thought of the day: No wonder gay women are under-represented

Gay/Queer people are under-represented in general in media, but recently gay men have started to make more of an appearance in characters and in factual TV (In the same way really that black men have started to emerge in media but black women are almost unseen). 

I'm sure you've all heard of the Bechdel test. A lovely woman came up with a test of whether a movie is progressiveish - does it contain at least two women, who talk to each other about something other than a man? This in turn has drawn a huge amount of attention to how women are constructed around men in media. 

So in the world right now it's pretty impressive for a movie to feature women who's entire character construction doesn't centre around men. Our cultural narrative is that women are for and about men. Well no wonder gay women are under-represented. This narrative doesn't even know what they are, it doesn't know they exist, it doesn't know how to construct them and deal with them as women and so it doesn't.

My thought of the day: this is a good reason why queer women need feminism - because the cultural construction of women today doesn't recognise their existence.

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