I Am A Smooth Duck

there are many corners of the internet but this one is mine. enjoy

[dragon-in-a-fez]

really fucking sucks that the only ways to get into space are to be a genius scientist or to have one William dollars. they should just take me to the ISS for a week because I'm a fun guy

[sneefsnorf]

im gods weakest faggot

[crabussy]

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

[cedar-scars]

im gods most literate cat can i join

[the-problematic-trolley]

I’m a straight up mob boss with a lioness for a pet, you’re all hired.

[pinkfire-chacarera]

my yellow rat and I find this really offensive and problematic

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[microsff]

The parking attendant paused by the double-length bay. Intended for mobile homes and cars with trailers, it was currently occupied by a sleeping dragon.

No parts of it extended beyond the lines, and the paper ticket was clearly displayed, impaled on a horn.

The parking attendant moved on.

[lionessfeather]

I was going to just queue it for later but then it stuck in my brain, and I decided to make it everyone's problem

[sneefsnorf]

im gods weakest faggot

[crabussy]

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

[cedar-scars]

im gods most literate cat can i join

[the-problematic-trolley]

I’m a straight up mob boss with a lioness for a pet, you’re all hired.

[pinkfire-chacarera]

my yellow rat and I find this really offensive and problematic

[jessepinwheel]

I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

[processintegrated]

Did you hear about how scientists are experimenting with gene splicing? I heard that they're trying to splice a crab and cheetah together. That could go sideways real fast.

BOOOOOOOO

[just-another-cat-blog]

pride month!!!

[lemonsharks]

Is that a miette?

[jeanjauthor]

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

[lost-and-cursed]

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

here’s your sign to do something spontaneous

[bread-pat]

*combusts*

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

that’s one way to do it

[acepalindrome]

‘did the journal factory explode’ shut the fuck up. I do actually want to know the mundane little things about my friends’ lives! I want to know that your cat just did a big stretch, and you’re cramming for finals, and you’re getting tacos from your favorite food truck for dinner! I like hearing about your day!!!

[acepalindrome]

Actually, on that note! Tell me something about your day! Tell me you saw an interestingly shaped cloud or ate a particularly good apple for lunch or are looking forward to watching your favorite show after work tonight!

[ltwilliammowett]

The Danish training ship “Georg Stage” (1934) dresses in rainbow colour, 2021 

[dragon-in-a-fez]

not the kind of gay ship I’m used to seeing on tumblr but cool

[dubiousculturalartifact]

ship georg is an outlier but SHOULD be counted

[fuer-diesen-sommer]

Information

[penny-anna]

Rocky on the trip back to Erid registering that Grace has defaulted to using he/him for him for sexism reasons and that they don't actually have to go by he/him. xe does some research on the human computer and spends several weeks cycling through different pronoun sets. starts switching so frequently Grace becomes convinced sie has started being difficult on purpose. after a while Grace is like omg will you just pick one and stick with it. Rocky is like okay i have decided. rock/rocks. rockself. Grace like well i can't argue with that.

[penny-anna]

#see the hill that I will die on is that if Andy weir was cooler rockey would use either they them or xe xir#you’re telling me cool middle school teacher Ryland grace is unfamiliar with the concept of fun new genders#absolutely not. his students have taught him about singular they them and neopronouns

Grace trying to explain to Rocky that they can be whatever they want to be and presenting a whole list of different pronoun options and Rocky (who has no concept of gender) being like 'why would I care about any of this'

[penny-anna]

Rocky: which pronouns does Grace use question?

Grace: he/him

Rocky: okay. Rocky will use he/him too

Grace: okay but I feel like defaulting to he/him promotes a patriarchal kind of mindset and we should be more thoughtful about it

Rocky: okay so use the other standard pronouns

Grace: she/her?

Rocky: yeah

Grace: okay but that feels weird too

Rocky: why weird question

Grace:

Grace, later, lying awake: I never considered that Rocky might wanna be a she... Am I a bad person?

[penny-anna]

Rocky: Grace mix it up suggestion

Grace: I guess I could

Rocky: Rocky he/she/they/it

Grace: I don't know if you can use it

Rocky: why not question

Grace: it's just considered dehumanising?

Rocky:

Rocky, being a little shit: I choose it/its

[penny-anna]

Rocky: this conversation boring, let's go back to Grace tones

Grace: okay so you won't pick a pronoun but I have to pick a tonal inflection?

Rocky: my thing more important statement

Grace: okay fine can't you just your tones for me?

Rocky: but Grace not qualified engineer

Grace: well is there a schoolteacher tone?

Rocky: uhh no

Rocky: schoolteacher not

Rocky: schoolteacher not prestige profession statement

Grace:

Grace: WOW.

[penny-anna]

Grace: is there not like a default tone to use when you don't know all this stuff about a person?

Rocky: yes but very rude to use for close friend statement

Grace: wait hold up 🤔 you think of me as a close friend?

Rocky: yes maybe Grace shut up now

[penny-anna]

Grace several years into their voyage, finally getting good enough at understanding Eridian to clock when Rocky has switched back to using the Neutral Tone for him, thereby implying that they are no longer friends: HEY??

[penny-anna]

Grace, in the middle of a big argument: did you just. dead person inflection me?

Rocky: uh-huh

Grace: does that mean what I think it means

Rocky: it means what it means statement

Grace: come ON

[enki2]

[shiftycryptid]

[imamagicmuffin]

[mouth-less]

[localcelestialcreature62]

Horrible job everyone

[catmask]

i love when pets huff or sigh dramatically. like i am sorry. you're so right. you live such a laborious life. it must be so difficult to take naps and get pet and fed treats and played with all day. really a packed schedule youve got there boss. how do you manage it all. well no matter i'd say it's time for your well earned 7th afternoon nap

[kairithemang0]

Last day of May!!!

I have no idea where I found this but I’ve had it on my camera for like 9 months

[mmmmmmmvbb-deactivated20250804]

[briannyssey]

dude star wars is so good and/or bad and/or mediocre sometimes, depending

[zenaidasden]

Ohh so that's why they called that one show Andor